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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/10/2008 8:57:51 PM | Seriously,
Do they exist? I've dated a lot. Seems like either women are just flat out bad or are constanly looking for an upgrade. I don't cheat, put my woman first, and have good things about me. In the end, I'm always dumping women for stupid crap or cheating. Show me a good woman and prove it. I don't overlook them, I finally now accept in my life they don't exist.  | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/10/2008 9:41:55 PM | pookieiggy..."bi.tches,,they cant be controlled"
Well, I never thought I was in the category of a b.it..ch but no man could ever control me...I was raised as a nice Southern girl and have manners but Ive never let anyone control or walk all over me..Heck, even my own father couldnt control me when I was a kid..lol..I thought that was why most men didnt want to be with me because they wanted someone who was easy to control , passive, let him be the boss over her, so they wouldnt have to work at the relationship with someone who was an equal partner to them.
I had the same situation with a guy who broke up with me.."I just said, okay, have a nice life "....He was totally shocked...He fully expected me to have a meltdown and beg him to take me back...He even said that.."Wow, I thought youd be yelling or crying..Thats what all the other women Ive been with have done"
I said "Why, thats what you want..WHY would I want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me?..Whats the point of yelling about it"
He said no woman he dated, including his exwife, ever reacted that calmly or remained so put together......I said maybe you should start dating different kinds of women..Those "nice" women you initially find so boring and not a challenge..Under the surface, we have spines made of steel...The kind that will last you a lifetime. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/10/2008 10:14:29 PM | | I have had my own experience in that I look..stuck up..I guess because I hold my head up high and I have a turned up nose. I have good posture..(because my mother insisted on it) but I think people take it that I think I am all that. And I do have good self esteem, I am NOT full of myself. I tend to be very empathetic and self evasive. My mother always told me from the time I was about 8...work on your personality because one day you will be old and ugly just like everyone else as they age. I now love my personality and don't rely on my looks..because they are fading as I get older..but I love me for the qualities I have, honesty, loyalty, kindness and empathy. I would not change who I am for the looks I had in my youth for anything. For all the mothers out there..even if your girls are pretty..give them MORE to look forward to than vanity..LOOKS fade...Personality doesn't!!!!! Make sure you compliment them for more than their looks! | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/11/2008 2:59:58 AM | An Answer to your question Ren,
Thank you for the compliment by the way:)
My experiences in the past have been(not all mind you) is I met a guy we would get along great. We would hang out then it seemed like as soon as they realzied i was person that was decent and wanted to date seriously they would distance themselves. They had no problem trying to get sex again though....
The exception was my sons dad who I dated for over ten years. That ended when he found someone else who was "better".....Shes now in rehab for the 5th time.........Gotta love wanting perfection....
It does seem like alot of men "say" they want to date, but when they have the perfect thing in front of them, they get scared off. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/11/2008 8:13:30 PM | ~michaela~~ wrote
It seems like dating is just a game and its a matter of whos going to win or lose...
...I'm looking for a LTR, so for me dating is about finding a good match, and sometimes this feels like an impossible task.
Most of my friends have very happy marriages that are still going strong after 20+ years, and I really think the reason for this is that they all found a partner that was a great match for them.
I have asked myself this question before as well, but it does seem to come down to looks it really does. If you have the perfect body, ect. then your worth dating, if not they move on.
Personally, I don't think you need to have a perfect body, but it definitely helps to take care of yourself. This is why I spend 4-5 hours at the gym every week, and spend time on the weekend with hiking and cycling groups. It's fun and it keeps you healthy, and if you're lucky there's a small chance you might meet someone interesting.
...I remember working out at the gym about 10 years ago. Across the room from me was this woman who had the body of a boy ( not what most men are looking for ), and beside her were two very handsome men who were working out and chatting with her. From what I could see, it looked like these two guys were just drooling over her, which I thought was kind of unusual. I continued with my workout and eventually, I was close enough to hear what this "boyish" looking woman was saying, and I suddenly understood why these two handsome guys were just dumbstruck by her. This woman reminded me of the actress Holly Hunter ( from Broadcast News, and Always ), she was just so full of life, bubbly, and oh my god was she funny. Just listening to her, I started to feel a little jealous of the two guys working out with her. She was just amazing.
...Now if someone had showed me a picture of this woman, and asked me if I would ever want to date her, I would probably have said no, and missed out on meeting one of the most charismatic and sexy woman I've seen to date. So it really isn't about having the perfect body, it's about being a whole person, and letting the world know.
For me, the two sexiest qualities in a woman are:
having a happy personality ( you're happy and love life )
playfulness ( knowing how to have fun like you did when you were a kid )
I dream about spending the rest of my life with a woman like this... | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/11/2008 8:19:59 PM | ANSWER LADIES; TOO MANY BAD WOMEN SAY THEY ARE GOOD AND WE GET BURNT. TO THE POINT WE DON'T SEE THE GOOD ONES AND BY THE TIME WE FIND THEM WE DON'T WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP. NOT ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE TAKEN, SOME OF US HAVE JUST GIVEN UP AND DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/11/2008 10:50:23 PM | | I'll take a try at this one. A good woman is one that meets her man's every need and does it out of love, devotion and committment without complaining. She cares without expectations. She is well respected by her family and friends; has good morals and values and supports her man in every way. She leaves a positive lasting impression on everyone she meets and she makes everyone feel cared for. She's a teacher, a nurse, and an amazing lover. She makes her man laugh and cries with him when he cries. Most of all she's his best friend. She makes his house a home and makes him feel like the king of his castle. Men, there are lots of us out here. Put your egos away and stop looking for twenty year old Barbie doll trophy wives. Yes, there has to be some physical attraction, but there is only one Miss Universe. Only the really good looking men overlook good women beacuse they can't get beyond the physical. Someday when you all look like bald California raisins you'll wish you had a good woman beside you. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/11/2008 11:28:00 PM | Good women? Where? 
OP - If these fairies and unicorns you speak of truly *were* were good, the good men wouldn't have to worry about "holding on" to them, since a good woman, in my book, would be patient and understanding of "issues in their closet" (short of lying and cheating - but then, he would be disqualified from being "good" - if not, then your views are clearly skewed, making instead, this thread, disqualified  ), and she would still love the good man for who he is (a good / good-hearted man). So let's talk about that. 
Otherwise, we can continue discussing myth and folklore.
- Ecog. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/12/2008 5:53:45 AM | Attraction is in your eyes. Eyes can deceive. Deceipt is what you get when you let your eyes speak louder than your heart.
Mind over matter is what is all about, and if you find someone good, even if you are not visually attracted, I would say go for it, because in the long term you might find what wonderful person you would have missed if you had given the last word to your eyes.
And remember, physical attraction is all in your mind, and that, you can change. ;)
Good luck there in your future endeavours. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/12/2008 9:03:32 AM | It's amazing that so many people think that just because a person wants to be physically attracted to a person he or she DOES not care about what the person is like as a person.
Why should I get to know a person based on his interest and other factors IF I am not attracted to him physically?
Why should I get to know a person who I am attracted to physically IF I find that we are NOT compatible based on his interersts and intelligence?
It works both ways.....why is this still debated and so difficult to accept?
The men/women who ONLY go for looks are not very smart themselves are they? So why do so many women complain about the men overlooking them and going for the women that are not so called "good women"?
Do you, who complain about this, really want a man who is not looking beyond the outer shell? I don't think so, so what's the problem?
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/12/2008 9:36:23 AM | Ah but the question isn't so complicated as most seem to think? The flagrant enticement of an attracted individual can only be surmised by how one feels vs what they think so, as the cleverness of the opposite sex appears it, would certainly capture the eye of the beholder which is, when the question appears. Hhmm, am I good enough or, is he/she taken and, if I make the approach will I look like an ass or, will I satisfy my truest intention? Is it a challenge or, will I get my ass kicked?
We can go on and on but, the one true question is perhaps the biggest significant answer which rest on each individual. Practicality plays a major role but, honesty, truth/trust, faithfulness all in respect too! | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:06:58 PM | VHAT! Is this a feminist thread? No, I kid.. but.. why do women overlook good men?
I'm the nice guy, and I always get tossed aside for some dirty moron. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 1:14:00 PM | Very good suggestion Rman... I think they should start a new site "NICE POF"... all you nice people scurry on over there and meet the mate of your dreams.
I'm stayin'.
There's not yet been one self-proclaimed "nice guy" I would give a nickel for... sorry. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 1:22:46 PM |
There's not yet been one self-proclaimed "nice guy" I would give a nickel for... sorry.
What if he was totally sincere, for reals. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 3:52:13 PM | I hear ya there...
Like OP said, same can be said of the reverse.
What we "normal-looking" folks can do is put our best foot forward. While we may not be particularly awesome looking, we can at least make sure we have the best possible picture out there for the public to see. Don't put up pictures that are blurred, taken in a bad light, etc...
And for God's sake... try not to put a photo of you and a friend whom people may think is prettier than you. You want men to e-mail you, not your best friend.
Personally, I look at the entire profile and read everything.
The profile is one of the most overlooked and under-utilized features of many sites. You could be an awesome girl, but writing "just ask me" after one sentence does not give a lot of people stuff to work with.
Remember, us guys e-mail a LOT of women. If we're lucky, we'll get a reply for every 30 messages we send out.
give us info to work on and your mailbox will get mails.
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 5:04:08 PM | | I think it just comes down to the fact that for men or woemn there has GOT to be some type of initial attraction. Each of us has certain things that we find attractive....it doesn't have to be "perfection", but things that we find sexy, or endearing . I am a full-figured woman....some men like that....some don't. I don't have any problem with that. Personally, I don't have a "type" and have dated lots of different types of men, but I think bald men are sexy---that isn't to say I'm not going to date men with hair. Attraction comes in all different forms and we all have some idea of what we are looking for. Sure true LOVE can gro and only comes when you truly get to know a person and develop something much deeper, but something has to get you to that point.......... It just tkes time to find the person that is just right for you............. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 5:35:41 PM | | Fear, Fear of haveing to be a Good man.. Every man wants a good woman... its being a good man that will make them overlook, and settle for less..... yes im guilty... dont sue me... hehe.. peace.. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:16:18 PM | Guys from my experience and conversations i have had with women, they want the bad boy image. for them its a thrill for the bad boy. (that's on the outside) but honestly women also tell me they want to keep the good guys. thee problem, is they say all the good guys are taken and if that's true then don't worry about it because following their logic all good women are taken too.
Which by the way women is not true, so its not true that all us good men are taken either. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:25:09 PM | I just have the hardest time choosing someone by their picture and I'm uncomfortable showing my picture on any dating site that I'm on. I pass up the chance to meet a good person for reasons that even I don't always understand. It could be he owns a restaurant and is a chef and lives in the next town, he's Italian and goes to mass every Sunday. Right there I say Stop! I'm not Italian, I'm not that into food and I don't go to Mass because I'm not Catholic. I had enough trouble with my spouse who went to the same church. I start thinking how difficult it would be to be hooked up with someone who had an entirely different lifestyle than mine, even though our values were similar. I'm just coming out of a helluva situation and I want to close my eyes and let the moment carry me away while in his arms. I need to have some peace in my relationship. I want to just be mellow and relax, let my hair down and enjoy being dug by someone for a change. I don't want to have cares and concerns at the very beginning so I have to eliminate anyone who I would have to work at trying to understand. I don't think I'm selfish, I think that's just looking after my needs for a change.  | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:34:30 PM | If I've told ya all once, I've told ya a million times, it's just because all nice guys and girls finish last.
Always have, always will. It's just the way of this cruel, cruel world.
Will someone just hold me please??   | |
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