| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 5:58:21 PM |
So, to me, a woman who thinks it's "ok" to view sexuality as "hers" to withhold or "give", at her whim, is not a "good" woman. She's somethng of a controlling b*aitch, actually.
RenMan, you're sounding a bit like Dr. Laura here.
In the context of marriage, I tend to agree with this statement. I've been on both sides of the power play and believe me there is no hell like rejection from your spouse... | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 6:00:17 PM | the same reson women overlook good men
not really; the reasons are and can be quit different as women are not as visual as men are. this be one of the differences. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 6:04:56 PM | | Men are TOO visual. They don't know how to get past the surface. They don't look at the whole picture. If she's average looking but beautiful inside that isn't enough. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 6:28:35 PM | its very hard to find one good solid mate, that fits all ppl.
show me a good women and i'll take her.....i am for real. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 7:55:31 PM | | Beachlover58, you hit the nail on the head! Now if everyone would just learn to put that in their profiles, I wonder what would happen? | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:26:27 PM |
Men are TOO visual.
...Like it or not, from a biological perspective this is how men function. It's not a choice, it's part of being male.
I was a professional photographer for 10+ years. During this time I met hundreds of male pro photographers, and four pro female photographers. Men are biologically made to be much more visually oriented than women are.
With my current work I shoot videos for the government, and again almost every single videographer that I've met has been male.
They don't know how to get past the surface. They don't look at the whole picture. If she's average looking but beautiful inside that isn't enough.
I know from 17 years in two LTR that I have to be visually attracted to my partner if I want the relationship to last. Physical attraction is not the only thing I want in a relationship, but it definitely must be part of the package. I expect my partner to feel the same way about me. ( I work out and eat right to keep myself fit and healthy )
...And don't assume that just because men desire a physically attractive partner, that this is the only thing we look for in a woman, it's definitely not, but it's something that is biologically part of being a male. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:27:55 PM | Thank you, Renaissance Man 1950!
This makes sense, at least now I understand, why I get e-mails form older, obese men!
Well, no more Twinkies for me.
Good post :) | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 11:08:12 PM | An old saying, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Physical attraction is build into every human being, it's part of your genetic makeup, the eyes take in the first of information every second of your life, so yes visuals have to be pleasing, then everything else comes along, all the things you gain with your other senses.
Good and bad is subjective as many, many things are, and everyone makes sacrifices or compromises, as with all things in life, and everything takes work and effort in some form, and sometimes the results just don't play to anyone's favor. Sometimes you "get lucky".
Perfection or "perfect" doesn't exist, those words just describe the point at which there is nothing more we see, or feel or whatever, the need to improve on.
The words, Love, Soul mate, Good, Bad, etc, their all of our own making, describing our emotions, and there's so many of them, good is only good when you decide it is and bad, the same thing.
Why do men and women overlook the good of each other? Because people don't see you the way you see you and vice verse, and sometimes it only takes one small thing to go from "good" to "bad". We are all very complex even in our simplest ways, and it's just the same trying to find that one good person to be with. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/30/2008 11:31:54 PM | I find this thread very full of truth from everybody, and very sad.
Why do people still judge a book soley on it's cover? NOTICE: I said SOLEY, because, yes, we do need to make sure we take good care of ourself and good oral hygiene, etc.
But when it comes to things that God blessed us with and people can not change, that , in my opinion is just shallow and lame.
Who ever pururchases a book at a glance ? SERIOUSLY!??
dont we try to OPEN that book, Look through it and try to get a JIST of whats inside ??
if we would only be so careful with the person we "glance' at , instead !??? | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:04:56 AM | | Some men I guess are just Superficial that Good women are out there whether they are Average Looking..... Give us a chance to prove ourselves first before you judge what we are. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:26:24 AM | | I agree with Plastic Sturgeon's comments. I don't know how to do the "quote thing" so yes you'll need to go back to page 12 or such. Anyhow it's true that we can say we are looking for one thing but if we go somewhere and are talking to a male/female that sends off our 'attraction signals' that's it - end of story. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:26:47 AM |
Many women go beyond the surface. We are not as shallow as men.
That's denial if I ever saw it on this thread.
Simply put. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 1:32:58 AM |
wannacstars wrote:
Who ever purchases a book at a glance ? SERIOUSLY!??
dont we try to OPEN that book, Look through it and try to get a JIST of whats inside ??
Yes we do. But then again, some books last longer than some relationships. :-)
However, it should be noted that the phrase "don't judge a book by its cover"
isn't about someone who would buy a book without first looking through it,
(of course no one does that) but rather about those who would say "no" to a
book without going any further than just looking at its cover (which actually
happens with great frequency).
As to the question of "Why do men overlook good women?", at least part of
the answer is that quite often, I'm sorry to say, being a "good woman" just isn't
enough. There are many things out there which are good but never much
noticed because.... well... they just haven't been marketed well. And at the risk
of being a bit blunt, dating is, at least to some extent, about marketing one's self.
So you can be the best gosh darn woman on the planet, but if you aren't marketing
yourself in an attractive way, then don't be altogether surprised if guys might
over look you time and time again.
Apolinary | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:24:45 AM | | supose it six of 1 and half a doz of the other, or we could say catch 22,, imnot so sure its a matter of over looking, or misunder standing,its not easy in a dateing site tobe your selfe, we try to impress but also hold back, being one self, dont want the girl thinking bad things, and im sure u girls do the same, and then we think uff she or he is not for me, lifes abix and then u die,. i wrote a very nice letter once on here, and got a very nasty reply about my bad english, was quite upset, then anoyed, im dislexic, not so much but i domix letters up, have lived in spain 20 years , and write better becus its fanetic, the engish idiom is a mixtuer of 5, there is no english language as such, any ways i have gone of the subject, i think the problem is comunication, and misreading wat we write, i dont thinkin general we write badly toeach other, to anoy, maybe shy, but keep on trying, who nos wats comming next, regards to every 1 that reads my ,, no se ,. peter,. pan. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:59:43 AM | TORRIC2007 -
Great post! I would have to agree that its the LOOKS...
Some guys will put up with a girls crap cause she is "HOT" and that makes us "average" looking women "expendable" IMHO. But its not just the men its us women too (raises hand) GUILTY! I too have been known and prown to go for the "dark hair light eyes, Gerard Butler smile" . I think not such a big deal to be into looks but we all must admit that ultimatley (msp) we want the on that makes us weak in the knee and give us butterflies in the stomach and listens to us go on and on about our bad hair day..lol
So in the end the "good heart" or the "good man" or 'woman" prevails....Remember:
Tommy Lee-got tired of Pam Anderson
Ben Affleck-got tired of JLO
So looks don't always yield to what the heart wants...
BRAVO!
Wait, WAIT...JLO is available???? | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 3:27:46 AM | | The reason why good men over look good women is not because of lust attraction or any other B/s excuse it because we dont think that we are not worthy of a good woman some poeple say its chemestry or a spark wasnt there these are useualy people who make snap judgements about some ones personality or there profile or there picture or something that they have said or not said i say too all those people who just Ignore someone who sends them a message get back to them untill you speek to someone face to face how the hell you ever going to know if you like someone | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:58:20 AM | | Wannacstars and carebear...if you can please tell me why any man or woman for that matter should force themselves to want someone they don't want and are not physically attracted to....should people approach potential mates in the same manner as they would exercise or cod liver oil...you don't like it or want it but it's good for you. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 7:16:32 AM | The only overly nice man I met was gay, and yes we all overlook the nice ones, because deep down we want someone pleasing on the eyes, I say , why because it happens and there is nothing we can do about, I have met some really ugly guys, and I still wasn't good enough because deep down they were looking for a barbie doll.
And I must admit I want better than I can get, we must lower our expectation about what will be allowed. Suck it up and realize pretty gets pretty, ugly gets ugly. Personalities have nothing to do with it, no matter how hard we deny it | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 7:31:47 AM | Wow some of the males who answered sound bitter. People are people, as in life you have all kinds of people the good, the bad and the ugly. One just deals with it. It's called life. I try not to shove people into boxes or tack labels on them. I take each dat as it comes, go on my dates from people I meet here and be thankful, I get to make new friends, and get out of the house on a friday or saturday night. While I would like to find a relationship, I am optimistic it will happen when the time is right. I know he is looking for me to.
It takes time and I am in no rush. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 7:46:16 AM | You almost hit the target but just barely missed it.
I haven't read this whole thread and am not going to but . . . We have to make selections based on some criteria to find the one we are going to eventually connect with. There are too many potential mates to evaluate all based on personality or some other ethereal criteria and so the first shifting point is appearance.
Consider that there are approximately 300 million people in the US pretty much equally divided into the two sexes. That leaves 150 million that are of the opposite sex. It has been estimated that approximately 10% of those are homosexual so those are rejected leaving 135 million. Of those, probably 65% are married leaving 47 million potentials. But, probably 30% or more are of the wrong age group leaving 14 million potential mates. You can continue to distill it down based simply on the obvious but the base fact is that there are at least hundreds of thousands of potential mates to select from and there must be some way to sort through them.
The obvious first selection criteria is appearance as it is the fastest way to eliminate a large group of those hundreds of thousands. I'm male and one of my first criterias is what the face looks like. That's probably not fair but I see women who show a picture here that have no make-up or hair that barely looks as if it has been brushed and combed. I also see women who are wearing clothes that look as if they are trying to look as bad as possible. This is something the woman (or man) has complete control over. Even if money is a problem, there are thrift stores where attractive clothing can be had for $10.00 or less. Finally, a big sorting factor for me is weight and this is another place where 95% of people can control what they look like.
Once you go through all these sorting means, you are left with those who are physically attractive and that is a manageable group. That's when personality and other ethereal attributes come into play and the final selection can be made. It's just a natural and logical process of elimination.
. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:24:06 PM | | Southernredhead...it has nothing to do with bitterness and everything to do with being tired of being told that just because a man wants what he considers attractive in a woman he is deficient in character,shallow ect ect...woman boldy proclaim and announce what they want in a man and most men don't take issue with it...it would be nice if the women returned the favor and get rid of the entitlement mentality....has the word "bitter" become a synonym for a man who has an opinion contrary to that of most women. ? | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 1:42:52 PM | | As my Dad always said people will eat shit and like it. Most (not all) people want a quick fix. Lust has alot to do with it. See someone nice I got to have her or him now! Not ever taking the time to get to know a person and their family. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 1:56:58 PM | | lol i think thats so wrong a man and a woman will meet when the time is right ,obviously attraction has to be their too but timing is the issue | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 8/31/2008 3:35:37 PM | pinkmews,
I totally agree with you:
a man and a woman will meet when the time is right ,obviously attraction has to be their too but timing is the issue , because people look for one thing when they are not ready for commitment and just want to play around, compared to when they are ready to settle down, and are willing to put the time into a relationship.
Great observation :) | |
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