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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:11:40 PM | Gee, Your Highness, maybe they aren't bright because they aren't plugged in!
Or they could be burnt out.
Have you noticed that everybody wants a good (wo)man, but nobody manages to say what the 'good' is? That most don't even try? That's the big, noisy clue to the real difficulty, I think.
Consider this: I'm looking at you, listening to you, observing your behavior, and at some point I announce you are 'good.' Or not 'good,' whatever. Do you know what I mean by that? Does anyone?
Of course not. If you care, the first thing you say is, "what do you mean?" The broad, nonspecific judgment 'good' doesn't tell you d1ck about dack. It doesn't mean anything all by itself. Sure, we would probably agree on some qualities that are part of the good. Most people would. But could we ever completely agree? Can we ever even know if we agree? After all, that would require you put into words and list completely the specific qualities you that you say are 'good.' And I would have to do the same. We would have to exchange lists, compare, and agree to a joint list. Only then could we say that we agree about the 'good.'
So, right there, you have an answer to this flawed question. People bypass ("overlook" is more emotionally freighted, isn't it?) other people who don't especially conform to their idea of the 'good.' The 'good' isn't the same to everybody. In fact, I doubt that it is identical for any two people. We certainly can never prove it is identical for any two people.
I may seem to be splitting hairs, and I hope I can be forgiven for it. But consider this: Even if you could put your idea of the 'good' into words, completely, and then even if you found someone who possesses all of those qualities, what does that get you? I say, almost nothing, for the simple reason that you don't have a relationship with someone's qualities. You have a relationship through their actions, and yours. Your personal qualities are not nearly so important as your choices, especially your choices of action. And someone's qualities are no guarantee of what they will or won't do!
So we're back to Square One, with maybe one rule of thumb. If you are 'good,' and you are being bypassed, make a list of what you do, which is both shorter and easier than the other list. If there's nothing on the list of what you do that welcomes attention or exhibits the 'good' that you claim to have, then people are not rejecting you. They hardly notice you at all, and it will remain that way until you do something different, something effective.
Remember what "being good" meant when you were a child? It meant sitting still, being quiet, and staying out of the way. It meant not calling attention. For OPie's purposes, it has to mean something very different.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:14:51 PM | AustinTyler on 5/20/2008 10 42 PM
Subject: Why Do Men Overlook Good Women? Msg: 2
So its lust that is causing the men to walk by the good women, now that makes sense.
But have to ask this question, we all know in the real world, men go to work, come home eat their tea and fall asleep till bedtime, so when these lusty men are with this Lush ladies how does that pan out? Just wondered  | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:15:27 PM | Its just my opinion, but in my time I have learned that some men choose with the eye first and the inside later, and I think thats the biggest mistake of all. True...attraction is a part of any relationship, but looks do only go skin deep. I mean we all from time to time see a hot guy or girl and think "WOW...I would like to have a "person" like that !" Thats anyones normal fantasy. But truthfully, I would take an average Joe anyday that had a good heart and was super sweet over a hottie with a bad attitude. Looks fade over time, and when you get older, all you have left is whats on that inside of the person, so I Would rather find the inside part earlier that way I can enjoy it a lot longer , and not worry about the look thing. I think people get way too hung up on looks and appearances sometimes, and need to start looking for the real things they want in a person.
Wen | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:24:43 PM | i know i was always thinking with the wrong head.
my 3rd ex was a princess and i was a butthole. she has never remarried and i would give anything to have her back. she should have shot me at the time and i wouldn't blame her if she did now. she was the greatest thing relationship wise that has ever happened to me and i went and screwed it up. the only divorce i ever had that was my fault and i take full responsibility for it.
simply we make the same mistake women do, we just don't think.
now i will get off my soap box!! | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:27:24 PM | I have met women that thought of themselves as good women. It must be a perspective thing, because I did not think that they were. Maybe they were hypocrites. Maybe I am too traditional for today’s society. I see most men as week minded hornballs, and I see women easily give into that, which makes them the same.
I met a woman once that though she was a good woman. She said that she had only 5 boyfriends in the past year. According to some, that is not much. According to some, she would be a woman to avoid. She was a nice person, maybe that is why she considered herself to be a good woman. As a man looking for a real relationship, her track record spoke mountains as to her not being a good woman to show interest in. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:31:59 PM | | I SURE COULD PROVE YOU WRONG!!!! IAM SO TIRED OF THE MODEL LOOKING WOMAN GETTING ALL THE MEN. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEM FAITHFUL TO THE ONE IM WITH. I ENJOY A TRUE RELATIONSHIP. ITS BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE I HAVE DATED AND ITS BECAUSE I REFUSE TO LOWER MY STANDARD JUST TO HAVE SOMEONE WHO IS ONLY GOING TO HURT ME. I HAVE NEVER TRIED TO CONTROL ANY MAN BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE CONTROLLED. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:55:29 PM | | Why do men overlook good women....this question is attempt to dictate to men what they consider to be good,what their desires should be...there are many threads here started by men asking why women don't respond top the emails,smile at them in public ect ect...the women come in and slam them for whinning and wimpering...men over look "good " women because they can and want to,because they want a spark in their relationship....that's right physical attraction... a man wants to be with a woman he wants and desires in every way.....a good personality is fine for a friend or an associate but if a man is going to get naked with a woman he wants to be able to desire her,to want her,to have his heart race when he is with her and in the anticipation of being with her....and that's just the way it is period end of discussion.....in other words ladies we do just what you do....what we want to do. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:20:27 PM | | Everyone feels entitled to the hot partner, but not everybody gets one. If the women who feel passed over would stick to the men who feel passed over, then that would leave the hotties for eachother, and all would be in perfect balance. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:00:54 PM | Because of a tragic flaw.
with some of us guys - the ones you would call rescuers - it's easy to find a good woman, fall deeply in love with her and for both of you to know in your hearts that you would be good for each other. but then we walk away from the good woman simply because she is not needy enough and entangle ourselves with the ones with insoluable problems, addictions, insecurities and what have you. it's just not right (in our minds) for us to be happy with a healthy and secure woman when we can make ourselves miserable with a clinger in the hopes that she will, someday somehow, decide to straighten herself out - provided we make a big enough sacrifice - like walking away from somebody wonderful. we just like to cry.
find a recovering codependent and he'll tell you with tears in his eyes of the good woman he let go of just because he knew she could take care of herself and he thought somebody else couldn't.
and then ask him if he's ready to find a good woman now | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:20:19 PM | | spumoni Spinoza, how do you define a hottie? I am not one that finds runway models to be hot. I am sure that I am not the only man who has learned to think for himself enough to know that the pop culture does not make for a good role model. We do each have our own attractions. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:20:50 PM | SS, E72, Loz,
You hotties can have just what you want, if only you'll take plenty of pictures of your hotness unleashed and share them with all us notties. We won't covet your untouchable hotness nearly so much if we can get that second-hand taste now and then. At least we won't be breathing directly on you!
Or, I suppose you could herd all of us notties into a quarantine area - New Jersey, say, or Texas. We'd still need those pictures, or quarantine will get broken a lot. Besides, you'll want to think of your future. Sooner or later, they'll be throwing you in there with the rest of us, where you'll suddenly have all that time on your hands.
Naturally, before we submit to this Utopian arrangement, we'll have to see some samples. You understand.
Chills!
Vulf | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:33:12 PM | formulas,
I'm not sure about that only because most of us on this site dont get any mail either, I know I dont; nor do any of my friends that are on this site. I think that has to do with what the one guy said about the women to men ratio on dating sites. The women out number the men 7 to 1. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:13:37 PM | I gotta say that after alot of stuffing around and what 8 years of proper dating, the first thing i think of when considering a chick for a long term thing is weather or not she is fit and healthy. Then comes the cute face. Not model cute, just what >I< would consider cute.
After that i consider kindness, motorvation, honesty, general fun-ness of the person.
And no, i'm not shallow, just blatantly honest. We all do it, no one says it. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:05:29 PM | | Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But let's face it, some men (like some women) think that they are too good for anyone LOL | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/4/2008 2:27:31 AM | | I'm sure we all overlook many good people in our lives. You could be the sweetest person ever but if you're not attractive to me for whatever reason you will be overlooked as I would be to you should we be in opposite positions. You could be beautiful but have a laugh like fingernails on a chalkboard to me, and someone else would find it music to their ears. There are reasons why anyone would overlook anybody. Some good, some outrageously stupid, but such is life. The main thing to remember is just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean they will find you attractive. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 6/4/2008 6:47:56 AM | dreamer that can't be right. Are you saying there is a hole lot of Shallow People out there.
To bad its true. When people can drop the superfical way they look at each other. Then we can find our match. Yea like thats gona happen This is a materialistic world if it was'nt we'd all be happy. This is'nt a shot at you just makeing fun. Its like the other post said the ugos should go to one line and the stuck up I mean Hot people should be in another line. Hey where is the ugo line i have Qupons I get to go to the front of the line  | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:30:41 AM | Stupid women, ask:
" why do men only care about sex???"
Posted: 6/12/2008
The reason is obvious!
Men like to talk about the following in order of importance.
1/ Cars 50% == The Female brain shuts down!
2/ Sports 20% == The Female brain shuts down!
3/ Handyman projects 10% = The Female brain shuts down!
4/ Politics 10% == The Female brain shuts down!
5/ Travel 5% == The Female brain shows some interest.
6/ Sex = 5% == The Female brain goes ballistic!
So the girls THINK that men ONLY talk about sex! DUH!! Ladies, it's because 'your' brains disengage when men talk about their favourite topics. A man can talk about his favorite topics for hours and the only time the female brain engages is if he mentions the size of the cheerleaders tits! OR YOURS.......
Think about it ! It happens to be 'ALL' your own fault. Too, women dress provocatively, and then 'wonder' why men look, and then want to touch! DUH!! Wake up--girls. You tease, and tease--then get mad,hurt,confused when men want to be pleased!
AND, KNOW THIS ! We men know the score! We know exactly what you are up to. You say you aren't into games. Bull
S...!! Don't run that one on us!! Women are the ones playing games!! You are the ones that demand to 'control' = IF, & when there is
going to be sex---it is ALWAYS YOUR CHOOSING. Think about it. Men have to spend a small fortune just to get to know you, not to mention the time involved. And, Ladies-most of you are better off financially than most men.
~~~~~~~~
One man's 'Answer' to "Where are all the "Good Men"?
That I found on a "Love Thread", someplace..?
Note: I did NOT write this.
Although I share a lot of his views !!
~~Some Women Ask---"Where are all the good guys?"
I'll tell ya. A " lot " of us good men, are sitting back, with what "dignity" we have "left", comtemplating "why", a " lot " of women, "say" that they "want" a "good man", when in "reality", all those
( 'good men'= seeking women ) are going to do once they "get" us, is cheat on us with the "bad men !". Women say they want a "good man", but yet, they can't seem to "handle" being treated "good"... DUH------ I guess you're so use to being treated bad, that you can't accept someone who will be good to you, and "that" is so very, very "S A D" !!!
You "want" us, but when you "have" us, you screw us over, time and time again. It's almost like you would rather "be with" someone who is going to treat you like Shit, use you as a damn "punching-bag", talk bad about you to all of their friends, hide things from you, etc.etc.,blah, blah, blah......
I "personally", just can't fathom "Why" a lot of "women", want men to be so bad to them. "Some" of you "MUST LIKE" men to beat the crap out of you, or cheat on you....
Now I know most of you will say,,"that's b/s, but really now, sit down and think " REAL DEEP" about it;
Have you ever "had" a "good man" ? If you answered "yes", then WHY= aren't you still with him?
If you have a "truly good man", then "he" will "not" cheat on you, because "true" good men , actually "C A R E" about "YOUR FEELINGS", so ( for the "most" part ) you can't use "cheating" as an answer. "Good men", treat people with "respect", "kindness", and "appreciation", so It would be somewhat "hard" for me to believe that- "
" well, he didn't treat me right, or good", "he CHEATED on me", he called me names, he hides his feelings( or information,etc.etc.)
"Wake up--He wasn't a good man=in the first place!!
Because I know a lot about how "good men", treat "people". I'm one of them; but we get tired of falling for someone who "says" they "want" us, but "act" in a different fashon, and insult our feelings, pride, and intelligence. So, If you "had" a "good man", and "lost" him, then 9 times out of 10, you were NOT a "good woman", and you deserved losing him. And he "surely" is better off "without" someone who is "FAKE and FLAKE".
It's no wonder "some" of you can't seem to find us...
You can't open you eyes, mind, OR HEART.
Most of the time, we are right here under you nose, but in order to "see" us, you will have to take your "head out of the CLOUDS." Good Luck, God Bless.
~~~~LAST, AND THE MOST IMPORTANT BIT OF INFO...
~~Single, seeking a Relationship~~
Find someone who knows the Lord, someone you can be friends with forever, someone who knows what love is and knows how to love, someone who is giving & caring, someone you can have some fun with, someone you enjoy talking to, someone that supports you but does not enable you, someone who will compromise, a person that speaks words of affirmation and encouragement, that is compassionate, that is clothed with humility, that does not gossip or slander, someone who prefers you over themselves, and someone that will pray together with you.
…….AND, THEN BE THAT PERSON--YOURSELF!!!!!  | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 7/24/2008 10:26:42 AM | These men are dumb and just want sluts? Most likely.
They don't care about the good women who would actually love them forever. | |
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| Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 7/24/2008 1:50:25 PM |
These men are dumb and just want sluts? Most likely.
They don't care about the good women who would actually love them forever.
How do you tell one from the other when all you have is a flimsy self claim? | |
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