| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:31:16 PM | Hey lil mamma if I were you I'd pass. Pretty long drive and if your ass begans to hurt after 2 hours you like mine does your screwed. You need to consider your safety as well such as are you prepared to take a drive with your car in perfect condition? Do you have a spare tire? Enough cash? You gave all ur backgrnd info and number to your fam & friends? Taser gun? Can of mase?
Quick story I was driving my mother to Austin and tk a back isolated road shortcut. Speed limit 70 and this broke down tinted cutlass surpeme in frnt of me was driving bout I 'd say 55. I'm no turtle so I waited for him to gve me courtesy move over he didn't so here I am checkn to make sure all 18 wheelers aint headin at my time. I went around him bt it was obvious I was frustrated he didnt move.........Ooooh let me tell you this fool picks up his turtle and turned into a damn cheetah. I knew my ass was dead at that moment.
With my mamma in the car had to keep my cool bt he was chargin at me like Jaws. Luckily I have a fast monte carlo bt our cell phones were both dead no charger, bad boo-boo. I pulled into a whataburger he followed right in he rolled down the window and had a gun. I said "man I had to go to the bathroom I didnt even know I cut you off." I played my cool then waited till he pulled out and Ill tell you I looked like I had been electrocuted for the next hour. I just wouldn't do it. Many crazy people out there and if you askin opinions from this site reconsider maybe not a good idea to jet on out. Does he have a ring waiting for you? Is he checkin on you callin you? Or if its a weekend with him thats a waste. He might not be what you expected or even worse a lunatic like Anthony Hopkins character in "Silence of the Lambs" | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:57:21 PM | Met a guy on a paid site....(sorry, this story is lame compared to onelove234's harrowing experience!)...anyway...we talked on the phone, im'd, and lettered each other for a friggin year!!!! I knew we were not compatable, but heck,...he made me laugh and we agreed we were just "friends".
He asked me to come up to Vancouver BC...said it was easier for me to cross the border than it was for him. I thanked him for his offer to stay at his place but said I would be bringing my sister and we would be staying at a motel downtown.
When my little sis and I hit town, it was dinner time. So, we put our stuff in the room and walked to a restaurant to eat. I called him to let him know we were there....first sign things were not right....he got mad at me for not calling as soon as we hit town.
He met me the next morning in the lobby and off we went....(this is for the Vancouver people to get an idea) I saw a special clock in the middle of the old part of town...I saw a museum on the edge of the water...we caught a ferry to where there was a market...(oh, second sign...he got pissed off that he had to pay both our fares round trip)!!!...in short, we spent the whole day walking all over town in the rain. Somewhere in the middle of this little walk about I bought myself an umbrella.
That night he invited me and my sis to dinner. His apartment was a little efficiency job...one room. Nice, net, very very small. Next morning we were supposed to meet again. He was a no show. My sis said he was pissed because I did not spend the night.
Whatever.
In essence...I went to meet "a friend" and have a great time in another country. However, I covered my bases and refused to stay at his home(remember?efficiency apartment...one bed...no couch). My sis and I went to plan "B" and had a great time visiting some of the sites on our own...then went home.
He has since removed his profile from the "paying" where I met him.
Maybe because of the scathing letter I wrote him about courtesy to strangers from a strange land...or was it the mysterious phone call he got while we were having dinner that he refused to answer stating it would wait...????
Wasn't there a guy on a site feeding his ladies to his pigs awhile back????????? | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:21:18 AM | (5) There is a difference between utilizing "an ounce of caution" and barricading one's self in a nuclear fallout bunker miles underground, shotgun in hand and a protective helmet on one's head. The type of paranoid safety precautions you are proposing (e.g. taking a friend with you even in your own backyard) strikes me as excessively paranoid, and that you subscribe to****Cheney's terror color code system weekly flyer...
Yeow! Tiger!
WHOM publishes RUBBISH?
Strikes me Tiger, that any man who insists she drive that distance nowadays
is rather 'misogynist', telling her what to do to satisfy his 'mysogynistic' mind.
Oh, you can crawl out of your 'bunker' now Tiger! It is safe again! | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:28:23 AM | | You are being very easy. Make him come to you and meet at a public place the first time!!!!!! You are already setting the scene for being a doormat. | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:25:01 AM | Think about it, right now at this very moment how many people are doing this exact same thing as the OP; No matter what anyone says she is going anyway, wait a minute she is there already because it is this weekend.  | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:24:03 PM | Do not go. You really know nothing about him. Let him make the first move and do during the day time in a place where there are alot of people. Stay Safe.
This is a crazy world and you never know who you are talking even if its been 4 months.
Check him out. | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/24/2008 3:43:41 PM | | is this a joke?? first, why on earth would YOU drive to him?? he should come to you the first few times. also you would spend the weekend with a total stranger? just how much do you know about him?? PLEASE DON'T DO IT!!! | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/24/2008 4:35:19 PM | Some of you people are nuts. Especially ^ - guy should drive 1000km to see her the first few times? good way to not get a second date if you try insisting on that & forcing him to fork out hundreds for hotel rooms there since she lives with her parents.
Be safe. make backup plans & have fun. There are a lot of psychos out there, but a lot of not-quite-so-bad people too, good luck :) | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:56:59 PM | I'm getting ready to drive half way to meet a man I just met last week on here. It is only about 30 miles for me and about 40 for him.. So I think half way is a good thing especially for a first meet in case things don't go well.. then none of you have spent extrodinary amounts of time on it.
You know what... I got to thinking about it and I like the idea of the OP driving to meet a man.. because she is in control that way. If she don't like him all she has to do is hop in the car and leave.. if he comes to see her.. then she has to entertain him if she don't like him..
I have driven to meet a man before and that is why I did it.. so I could stay in control.. I have also met men part way too.. but I have always wanted to be in control. | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/25/2008 7:02:18 AM |
first, why on earth would YOU drive to him??
omg...why didnt i see that too??? what the hell are you doing driving to him....totally right. | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:09:16 AM | Well the safety issue is the first and foremost and one would think if he cares for you and is truly a good friend he would insist that you keep yourself safe even if it means forgoing his own needs for a bit longer. I'd be wary of a guy that would allow me to stay at his house in his city alone the first time out. He seems careless with your well being.
Oh and if his name is Joel and he is charming,good looking, comes off like a spiritual giant, likes to make a big splash buying you iphones and dropping 250 on dinner in a great place...run like hell...It's my ex!..lol | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:34:06 AM | This is the insane part of these forums. One the woman already stated why she is driving all the way up to this guys house. She lives with her parents. The fact that she does not feel comfortable meeting this guy for the first time around her parents doesn't send "red flags" up to me - if I introduce someone to my family I would definitely want it to be more than a first encounter with that person. The fact that she is asking for advice doesn't mean she has doubts or her spider sense is tingling, it MAY mean she is sure about the guy, but the situations is very unfamiliar to her(again no red flags).
At age 31 I think we should assume some level of competence for her, more than likely she has dated, been around men, etc. She probably has done some level of homework. He has from the sounds of it tried to arrange to visit her first and she didn't want that, he has done what he could. As far as the distance involved, I got to admit it won't be my cup of tea, but I also have to admit that if I felt a strong attraction for someone, I might switch cups.
I truly believe that the worst part of on line dating is all the myths surrounding the internet that create a lot mistrust. Too much time is wasted trying to convince people you meet here that you are what you say you are, not some nut, pervert,etc. I got a feeling that if you got down to know the people here they aren't that much different than a random collection of people from where you spend your time. Yep, there is some degree of caution necessary, but isn't that true in all walks of life? A few of the "other' dating services provide little or no information about the matches they set up for you, but since its through a "service" they must be okay(they haven't killed anybody that the service know of). | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/27/2008 6:33:13 AM | Ok
Im back........
I went and met him. Had a brilliant weekend. Didnt want to come home today.
The only difference was he was shorter than he stated. | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/27/2008 6:47:52 AM | Hey down-2,
I wouldn't get my hopes up before you meet the guy in person. On-line chatting is just that--on line. There might not be any chemistry when you actually meet and the safety of your laptop absent. I would suggest meeting halfway, spend the day and then see how it goes. Don't set yourself up for disappointment. Also I think that 4 months is a long time to spend chatting with someone you have never met...
Hope it works out for you.
F. | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:10:03 AM |
The only difference was he was shorter than he stated.
Was he a lot shorter and do you think its going to make a difference now that you've met him? Inquiring mind at work here! | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:35:57 AM | if you where in Australia I would suggest watching out for the roos that litter the highways.......
other than that .... Your an adult...do what you have to do!
Really!!!
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/27/2008 9:52:25 AM |
Ok
Im back........
I went and met him. Had a brilliant weekend. Didnt want to come home today.
The only difference was he was shorter than he stated.
Awesome to hear!! (The brilliant time, not the short part! LOL)
Does not neccesarily mean he was being dishonest...people DO shrink a little as they age! ;O) LOL | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:57:55 AM | go to meet him ..
but ............ say to him that "i will drive for long time to you so that i will be hungry .. would you like to meet me in any nice restaurant in ur town ? "
so u are gonna meet him where is a lot of ppl .. then during the meal u can see if you wanna stay with him for weekend or not .. | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:10:16 PM | He said he was 5"9, same as me, but i think 5"6 is about what he is.
He was nice caring, looked after me, cooked for me.
Didnt expect any money or anything. His house was messy, but he has told me he needs to renovate.
Its not that bad, he even took me to meet his brother and his wife.
The height should i be worried he is obviously shorter than me, is that a big deal?. | |
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| Advice on meeting a man from POF
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:18:00 PM | He actually was such a gentleman, He even told me to give details to someone so they would know where i was.
It was uncomfortable at first, i was shy beyond belief, but then we got chatting, and i realised i prefer his company, in reality than online or telephone. | |
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