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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:48:07 PM |
persistent wing: Hey I am sorry, I just realized I was being pretty judgmental
So was I judgemental...and I'm sorry. Really I am. I normally don't jump the gun like this, and having just re-read all the posts and specially yours, I see that I was way out of line and came to the wrong conclusions. My error and my sincere apologies.
OT...
Personally, I don't understand why married people, men or women, come here looking for sex, but if they're honest about their marital status on their profiles, I don't need to understand anything other than they're not for me....to each their own.
JMHO | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:33:36 PM | | Lets see now, if one is single they can have sex with anyone, ditto for separated people, and the divorced, those who are rich pay the divorce settlement and move on, time after time, but if one is married its a no no, so why do they go to sites like this? For many reasons I think, a divorce is out of the question for many, because of alimony, loss of house, children, pets etc, so many I'm sure both stay together maybe in a brother/sister type relationship, keeping all in tact but having relations with other men/women. This is possibly one scenario as to why married men/women come to sites like this. | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:09:08 PM | Zeeba,
I'm not here to look for sympathy. If myself or others in a similar situation were, it certainly wouldn't be on a website such as this.
You can't because...you can't.
That's a great reason. I can because as another poster, wraith1, puts it, "divorce is not an option" and both women and men resort to sites like this. Women on this site do as well and why is that any different? You take away the stigma of sexes and the moral imperitives are all the same, and so are the consequenses.
You need to keep in mind that you would be hurting two women in the process
So what's of the woman who ends up hurting two men? How is this okay by your standards? Hurting anyone is never a good thing, but, I'm not about to describe my situation in detail. We each have different challenges, and that's something that should be taken into consideration before jumping to respond. Life is not black and white, there's also a lot of grey.
you can work on long-term plans and get a divorce in a few years or less
Wow, I'm glad you're not a Dr. Phil. My culture is not the same as yours, so divorce is not an option. I was expecting to read a response that was a bit more intelligent and profound. You shouldn't assume that everyone here "aren't all that different" we are all very unique, even though we are all driven by the same body of emotions. The 'solution' proposed doesn't exaclty work as planned.
I would love to hear from someone else. Please see my original post. | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 79 | |
| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:25:47 PM |
I would love to hear from someone else. Please see my original post.
Okay, fine, goddamn it.
I feel for you.
I stayed in a sucky relationship for fifteen years and I didn't even know it was sucky until year eleven or so. You say "divorce is not an option". Well, I thought that, too, until the sheer suckiness of it all brought me down into some serious health problems. And then I snapped out of my DroneHood and realized that I'd like to have SOME fun before I die.
It's just the nature of the sucky culture/cycle we live in today.
Once the financial system finally collapses, society will re-solidify into a more unified, consistent culture but at this point of the credit cycle, anything goes. | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:20:36 PM | | kepp on fishing, there are alot of married men and some women here as well.. get a home phone number and call him at 2 in the morning..that should tell you fairly quickly...:) | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:26:48 PM | You are such a greedy bunch. Married men deserve sex too!
Ha,too funny.If they wanted sex ,they shouldn`t be married !!!
Kidding of course... | |
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zeeba
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Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 82 | |
| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:29:05 PM | Friendforfun,
I did read your original post. And, I'm happy to be a "Ms. Dr. Phil." I stand by my original statement. You can't have it both ways because...you can't. Now, I understand that both parties in the relationship have to be willing to work at maintaining a good, solid marriage throughout the years. I also realize that economic issues, plus having children, are complicating factors if one or both parties are unhappy.
Yet, I continue to be amazed at the number of married men (and women) who come to these forums and -- yes -- wail about their sad lots in life. A marriage is an economic and social contract; it is also a moral and ethical commitment two people make to each other. Perhaps your spouse is equally unhappy, but is hesitant to say so?
And, I also stand by my other statement -- if two married people are so frustrated with the relationship, then perhaps marital counseling is needed. If that doesn't work, then by all means make some long-term plans to get a divorce. Then, and only then, are those two free to seek others for dating, FWB, or long-term relationships.
I'm sure I appear judgmental. I am in this instance. That's also why I stay far away from separated but not divorced men. Part of me expects that I'll be alone for the rest of my life...but I'd much rather be that way than get involved in a really emotionally messy situation. There are too many single and divorced nice men out there.
(Now, nice single and divorced men...hurry up and contact this zeeba, OK?)  | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:11:35 PM | | Why do you think your kidding? You spoke the truth for many of us!!!!! I guess the only way for many married men to have a decent sex life is to get out the checkbook!! | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:02:31 PM | There are no hard & fast rules for dating, doesn't matter what age. Here's the things that I live by:
#1 - if it doesn't feel right, I don't do it.
#2 - trust the gut.
#3 - don't try to change, don't try to fix someone.
#4 - mind your manners. Treat others with respect and dignity.
#5 - ask your date questions about themselves. Find out their passions, interests.
#6 - more listening, less talking is better.
#7 - don't go on a date, expecting to get married, or laid.
#8 - meet in public places, until you feel comfortable.
#9 - if you kiss, if you run a couple of bases, or score a home run, keep it safe. There's no guarantees that if you "put out", that you'll see your date again. As far as any of the "physical contact sports" (don't play them unless you're ready - emotionally & physically).
#10 - if you find that you broke #9 - played before you're ready, don't be hard on yourself. It happens to the best of us. Just try not to make the "use them and lose them" scenario play over and over.
#11 - count your blessings that you don't have to bring your date home to Mom & Dad.
#12 - those of us who have been divorced - we all feel screwed from the divorce (at some time). Don't keep replaying the "I've Been Screwed", especially on a date. No one likes to attend Pity Parties.
#13 - don't bad mouth the ex. Don't talk about how your former relationships were from hell. We've all been there.
#14 - keep it simple.
#15 - don't over analyze "why" or "why not". Things just happen. If it's a mistake, learn from it, move on, and celebrate life! | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:03:29 PM | The trouble is the married men/women don't just flood into a internet site they are out on the streets too... it is so easy to say you're single if you are a out of towner too... so one must always keep the vision goggles in place and see for yourself... I try doing what I can to avoid them but they filter through anyway sometimes..
It's kinda funny I was reading the war in court with Christy Brinkley and her soon to be ex who was caught in an affair with a 18 yr old... he likes the internet cybersex routine... as she found the naked pics of him and as their son said his girlfriends too... lordy lordy I would hate to bare my behind and find the wifey looking at my pic...
yep theres all kinds out here on the net and who am I to judge.. but I just don't see staying in a relationship that made me miserable... nor am I going to put myself in a miserable situation either... lifes too short... | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:09:25 PM |  While I read thru way too much just to see that nothing changes no matter what site your on. Just as in real life, people will bend the facts, twist the truth or lie however you call it, They will do the same on the net.
Just as sadly however, Is the strokes of a keyboard passing judgement of others without knowing the facts is what the mind is thinking, But the mouth would not speak it in public. Yes even with the net there are still facts that are not openly written out for all to see, Maybe its just for those that are interested.
And if it doesn't....pass on by.
Now, I'm not banner waving for the male side eather. With a 3to1 ratio, Men have an bigger group of idiots that surface thus reenforcing the male is a pig role.
No better are the females that play these games of leading on the group eather, It just pooring gasoline on a all ready lit fire.
To those Singles out there thinking the married should stay out....Hey News Flash!...
The married could be thinking the singles should stay out of their swinger sites.
The net has become the nightclub scene from the past, depending on your age its the past anyway. Now you have the chance to meet others from the comfort of your own home or anywhere else at a touch of a button, Add a cam and sound and your almost there in person.
I will stand behind those that can voice their opinions without the preaching of right or wrong, Choices is why we have Choc and vannila and the right to choose which one suits us best.
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:20:37 AM | | I believe this site is really geared for all walks of people. Not just singles. But it is unfortunate that you are coming across married men. But I'm sure you will find that on every online site's that you explore. You will just have to read the profile's and weed them out and go there. I do wish you luck. | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:01:07 AM | I have no respect for those that are not proud of who they are and willing to post it in their profiles! If it is OK to be on a single's site when one is married.....( whether it is because one is lonely, and they are not understood at home ..or what have you ) ....... then it is OK to proudly post that in their profiles. I have no problem with married people being here, I just wish to be treated respectfully and be allowed to make the decision for myself if I wish to share my time with a married woman.  | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/12/2008 5:31:07 AM | Not changing the subject, just wanting to air an observation I have made that has
me a bit stymied.
Why do some women put on their profile "must not be married" and then lo and
behold, they contact or IM or email married men on the site????
Is this a case of do as I do , not as I say? Do they not know what they want,
or are they a person who starts out with a moral attitude, but become
desperate? Come on gals show some guts, stick to your ideals and stop
changing for "the Man"!!!!!!!!! | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/12/2008 5:42:01 AM |
Why do some women put on their profile "must not be married" and then lo and
behold, they contact or IM or email married men on the site???? Is this a case of do as I do , not as I say? Do they not know what they want,
or are they a person who starts out with a moral attitude, but become
desperate? Come on gals show some guts, stick to your ideals and stop
changing for "the Man"!!!!!!!!!
OK, so you got me confused here!.. How do you know these woman e-mail the married man? Maybe I'm dumb but I have no idea how anyone know single women who e-mail married men, unless they say so.
Scratching head and slowly walking away........
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/12/2008 5:47:25 AM | I had to wonder about that as well Miss Ageless! I know it's early in the a.m. but? 
This site can be whatever it wants to whomever wishes to be on it. Personally, I don't care what others choose to do if married. I DO however, detest it when someone is not honest about their marital status. It should be everyone's choice about whether or not they would care to become involved with someone who is married. Being dishonest is a chicken chit way of going about things and not a personality trait that interests me. | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/12/2008 5:51:41 AM | | After reading all of this, I have a different perspective. I do have my profile blocked from contact by married men, though it doesn't stop them from adding me as a favorite. I just delete that and don't explain why. I have had men contact me who are married and don't have it listed, but who tell me up front that they are. I reply to them, politely, that I don't date married men. I have gotten nice replies back or nothing, both of which suit me fine. There is something to be said about having some grace. I don't make a judgment, especially now that I've read the comments by married people who are looking. I figure you're the one who has to live with yourself and no one else walks in your moccasins. | |
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| married men looking for sex
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:22:00 AM | Very well put Curls. As I read this forum I saw lots of good advice. I too am polite when approached by a married person. I'm flattered they considered my a prospect but it's not what I'm looking for. I also have blocked the married people from contacting me.
There are all kinds of people out there. None of us knows what another person's beliefs, religious convictions, etc are, so why judge them. Just avoid them if you don't agree with them. No need to get upset or mad. There are tons more men coming your way. Just be patient. | |
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