| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 11:04:00 AM | | Heck TAT !! The last ten days have been the worst would make a great country song but if this old ain't given up!!! I just getting started and heads up!!!! | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 11:27:10 AM |
Lonely around people is from hiding who you are. You feel that if you were yourself openly they would reject you, so it feels like you are already rejected and alone.
I still say it is a state of mind. You control it with how you FEEL about things, how you feel other people have meaning in your life. And all that starts right there, in your mind. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 11:29:48 AM | | well when i feel lonely i try to keep myself distracted so i dont let it bother me. you have control over loneliness noone else does. alot of people are probably saying you need a man to fill the lonlieness, but that isnt always true! just keep yourself busy! | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:13:04 PM |
alot of people are probably saying you need a man to fill the lonlieness, but that isnt always true! just keep yourself busy!
I disagree. I for one prefer a woman. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 12:19:40 PM | means somethings missing... and no, not depressed... just something you need and it's not there...
or for me that's what I felt... esp birthday's, christmas an any holiday...
i'm seeing bits an pieces of it come back when someone i am seeing text's me.. or for nice reason's looks in my eyes an touches my hand... some others I had dated had some of that electricity... to the woman i am seeing.. it feels natural... or like something about her is different... | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 1:09:57 PM | | Perhaps you need to open up a bit more to the spiritual side of life. After all, human beings are composed of three parts; The mental, the physical and the spiritual. If any one of these is out of alingment, the whole being suffers or feels a sense of emptiness. Most people have money, friends, relationships ect - But they are malnurished in the spiritual arena. That is why we hear so many say, "there has to be something more." And that is why we see very rich people taking their own lives at times - leaving behind notes saying what lonely, empty souls they were. There is a place in every human being that only the "SOURCE" can fill. And nothing else can or will fill it. And until it is filled, many people will go on feeling empty and lonely. Many of us try to fill ourselves with superficial things. But this will never work long term. Have you ever had a craving for a nice juicy steak, and had someone hand you a cookie? Did you feel full or satisfied after eating that cookie? Same principle. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 1:36:42 PM | | Wow that is a great statment and one to live by!!! | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 2:47:44 PM | | Everyone feels this once in awhile, I think it's completely normal regardless of whether you are single, married, social/not social, few friends, lots of friends...doesn't matter. I feel the most lonely when I'm not "clicking" with anyone. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 2:56:28 PM | | I don't often get lonely, I rather enjoy the thoughts that rattle though my mind, I like to read and I like watching TV and movies and talking to myself about what I think of them. I can be very social, but I love my solitude. So is that a personality trait that one can't get past or have I learned to enjoy my own company? I don't know the answer, but I do know that I hate feeling alone when I'm with someone much more than I've ever felt lonely by myself. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 3:15:22 PM | | I think I understand what you mean. As a massage therapist/healer, I am very good at connecting with others. But sometimes at the end of the day, I'm longing for a deeper connection with someone. Often that starts with having that connection with myself and innermost feelings. Sometimes I long for something that I'm not even sure what it is. Usually when I really take the time to get to know myself and what exactly I'm feeling and wanting, the lonely feeling goes away. People are always so quick to seek outwardly when they are bored, lonely, or feel lacking. It can be very beneficial to look within. | |
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Cazimi
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Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 61 | |
| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 3:42:50 PM | I have been living alone for many years, I need solitude,
I enjoy being alone
gives me the time I need to reflect and contemplate.
I also love to go out and have a great time with other people.
There are times when I am among people that I feel very lonely,
I know it's when I yearn for the giving and receiving of love with every fibre of my being.
The sharing of fun and laughter with others is different from the deep intimate love I
crave, reason for feeling lonely.
Love is a need, food for the soul, the same like flowers need sunshine to bloom,
ever notice how people in love glow ? | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 3:48:10 PM | I often experience intellectual loneliness, even when or maybe especially when in the company of several other people. But this does not mean that I feel brighter or more intelligent than those whom I know or associate with, because I most certainly do not.
I just tend to perceive things including life and death, people from different economic or social or educational backgrounds, together with what is really important in this world, in ways which most other people whom I know, would never accept.
Therefore, I choose my own beliefs, values, and attitudes in relation to everything and let others have their own beliefs etc even if in direct opposition to mine. If it were otherwise, I would associate with no one at all. And I also tend to keep my views very private. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 5:41:56 PM | [True. But unfortunately, your state of mind determines your reality./]
No offense, but who controls your mind? I have a good deal of subconscious reactions and thoughts, but the conscious mind can analyze and delve into the subconscious. So, ultimately, an aware person is in control of all facets of their personal feelings. I, too, feel lonely at times. So I do things about it, everything from exercise to reading/writing to going out and getting shit-faced. Feeling goes away.
The fact of the matter is that no one needs anyone else. We choose to associate with others, to interact with them. I'd be lying if I never thought that someone was essential to my life. I got over that when I was nineteen. I decide who I want in my life (or reality, same difference). If they don't share that point of view, I get over it. Quickly, might I add.
I know this sounds cynical and cold-hearted, but it's what it boils down to. Don't get me wrong, I like some people, and I wouldn't be on a dating site if I wasn't looking for someone to share my life with. But your emotions and thoughts are under your control. Period.
Cipher | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/4/2008 6:39:53 PM | I think that state of mind does determine reality and that reality determines or can determine state of mind. Everything is a vicious cycle and it requires great know how for anyone to escape the cycle. Thoughts are things. Thus, for example, red light is more than the colour red or thoughts about the colour red; it is energy of a particular vibration that exists whether we think of it or not. Likewise, blue light is more than the colour blue or thoughts of it. The same is true of every thought.
If we are in blue light and we think about the colour blue, because we are aware of the colour blue, then we will see blue light. and we will see the same blue light even if we think about red light. Reality determines what we see and what we see determines our reality. It is a vicious cycle.
A man who is lonely, can aspire to have companionship. Therefore, he will think of companionship, but because he is lonely, he will also think of lonelineness. But he can choose to act in ways that will make companionship more likely than not. However, if he merely thinks of companionship and does nothing else, then reality will compel him to realise that he is lonely. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:30:13 AM | Sounds to me like you ARE depressed.
You certainly shouldn't be lonely with that sort of social life. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/9/2008 12:15:07 PM | | I am lonely for the most part but I have my counselor ( my six year old son) and my friends. This last two weeks have not been easy, but life goes on. I can't replace things with a snap of my fingers or an o well. You have to have the hunger and the thrist to move on. I have the hunger and the thrist but everytime something happens and I step back. Why? It's called mending at this time I think of that song "WERE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT" Quiet Roit or Twister Sister. I am on a good road with Faith, Hope, and Dreams. One day, I will have my hopes and dreams. Stay Postive and forward! | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:31:15 PM | Whats your destiny?
Relationships come and go, but what is that one quest that fuels your life more than anything else?
There is no such thing as a average 9-5 life. With all those people you are not lonely but rather bored. I'm not talking about a career but something where you leave you mark on this world. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:32:56 PM | | I don't feel lonely so much as I do boredom. All I need is something interesting to engage my mind. Whether I'm by myself or with people, it doesn't matter. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:52:42 PM | | It seems that when we are happy and fulfilled, we are appreciative for our life for the moment. When we are lonely, we are feeling as if something is missing, we are empty, or feeling a sense of loss.... in otherwords, we are not feeling happiness for the present moment. We are not truly appreciative for the thing "right now". Sometimes, however, it means you are getting a little sick, or your chemistry is not working right, believe it or not, some people have this "emptiness" right after they eat something they have a food sensitivity for. Maybe too much salt, or sugar, or other additives. But, mostly it's in the attitude that we just are not being fulfilled for the moment. The best thing to do is find something different. Take a walk, change the scene. You will find something that will spark your interest and help you "move forward" away from the loneliness. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:08:16 PM | Some more thoughts on loneliness. The group of people you are with is not meeting your expetations. Someone decided they did not want you anymore, or you are being slighted by many in the group. Sometimes you are expecting for people to "reach out" and be your friend. Sometimes when you have friends and family, they pull back from you, especially if you have gone through a divorce. Sometimes they see you as a loser, or some are envious of your freedom. Some of the consequences of loneliness are anger, depression, promiscuity, guilt, and erosion of self-esteem. I started feeling like something was wrong with me, in additon to feeling I couldn't make it on my own. I dated a retired police officer, who was always trying to make feel like I was doing something wrong.... like this is really what I needed at the time!
One of the cures for loneliness would be to PRACTICE BEING SINGLE. Find a routine of things that you love. These activities will lead to other activities. If we do not depend on others for our happiness, then we can overcome the lonely blues.
Gain custody of yourself by being alone and doing activities that truly make you happy. Even if it is listening to music and watching TV, or petting your dog.... whatever is pleasurable that does not have any demands on you.... like a relationship. This can come later, but only when you have BECOME SINGLE FOR THE FIRST TIME yOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY SINGLE, or you will have problems in relationships.
There is no denying the loneliness that comes with seperation and divorce. The void left by your husband is real, a painful reminder of the depth of the marriage relationship. While loneliness may be bearable at times, it can be something that draws you closer to God, to His presence in your life. And when He is living within you, you can find permanent healing from the pain of loneliness.
Remember, there are powers and forces way beyond our comprehension or understanding. We cannot have all the answers to everthing, so talking to God can help during extremely difficult times. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:06:25 PM | | I would ask myself is it really I feel lonely or am I just bored?? Do you have to be entertained by having constant company or can you read,go out by yourself,talk on the phone ect....Most people desire companionship at some point in their life however the constant need to have to be with someone might be a codependancy issue to be with people or around others even if its not solely on 1 person.... | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:16:20 PM | | Thanks everyone for their thoughts. I enjoyed them and thought a lot of them. Thanks for all the help. I am who I am and THANK YOU!!!!!! I feel I am a better person in one or more ways!!!!!! | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:33:38 PM | | We are all alone in the universe, how we choose to feel is a choice we make. You can change this feeling anytime you want, you just need to be happy with yourself. Do I feel lonely, sure sometimes, but it is very rare and it usually fades very quickly. Instead of dwelling on the emotion of not having someone in your life, try to use this time to self improve. We all go though times when we donot have that special someone, but when we do we often complain that we never have time to do what we want to do for ourselves. Well guess what you now have the time to do those things you want to do, so enjoy them now. Will you be in a relationship again, sure, we all will eventually, it is all about timing and when certian people are ready to be in a relationship. Why do you need someone else to complete you, aren't you enough to make yourself happy? I think once you are happy with who you are the right person will walk into your life, currently your just not ready. | |
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| Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:59:22 AM | I do have to admit that I have rarely in my life felt lonely. Why? Two things. One, the relationships I've had with people have been solid enough that even when they have not been with me, I have felt connected to them, so they have been in my thoughts, in my letters, in my communication. Second, being a person who uses creative expression also means that there's no time to feel alone, the mind is either working on a new idea, thinking and reflecting on something in the past, or learning about something.
Even when I split with my previous loves I didn't feel alone. When my ex and I split, I felt a tremendous amount of anger. Anger that I channeled into activities such as training and racing. My mind was more involved with some ride in Sonoma, or going up a mountain on the Pacific Ocean or the Appalachians. When I split with my last love, a woman I loved tremendously, I didn't feel alone either. I felt a sense of realization. I did not know that I could love someone that hard. Wow. But sometimes it takes a tragedy to realize that some emotion inside of you is not dead, but alive and pulsating. We got back together, and the void of missing her got filled again, and new ideas of things we can do together float through my consciousness, thus the term lonely is still a foreign lake of stagnant water I only see in the postcards of the lives of others. | |
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