| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:04:57 PM | My personal goal is what i stated, long term. i hope long term leads to marriage eventually. but the thing is my short term goals are just to get my eyes open again and be aware of what is out there and whats good for me. that may mean some short term relationships before the long term comes along. i think thats part of the deal though. our golas change with time.  | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 5:49:15 AM | Real goal? Well, not dating for sure. *Hate* dating. I do like being with someone I care about, spending time, talking, doing stuff. Since I pretty much met everybody in my county ten years ago, the purpose of a dating site (this one) was to find someone that I care about spending time with. That accomplished, I've made friends along the way, like the forums, and am not yet full time with my guy. When that happens, doubt I'll be around here much, lol! Life happens.
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 6:31:22 AM | I will agree that I am not really into dating, but would rather find someone who wants a lasting relationship, but in order to have one we have to date first to see if we are compatable.
I think dating is good for the younger set, but as we get older we would like to have someone there that understands, communicates, share, and where we do not have to have our guards up. | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 7:50:58 AM | Gee! I never thought about a goal. I'm not a very goal-oriented person.
I hoped to meet at least one male with common interests with whom I could spend time doing things we both enjoy. I didn't/don't want a heavy, serious relationship. And I've met a couple of nice guys who seem like a nice fit.
One in particular I have known for about 6 months now. Being a widower himself, when my ex passed away he understood the relationship and has been very supportive and sympathetic. Over time I've been able to talk with him about just about anything. He isn't easily offended and gives me honest feedback.
So we've drawn a little closer and I find myself more concerned about my goal for dating now than when I started the online thing. I can't say that my goal is to not be hurt or hurt someone else. Well... I can say it but it's not very realistic. People disappoint each other sometimes (whether they are family, friends, lovers, etc.).
We haven't had "the exclusive" talk. I don't want to have it. If he said he would be more comfortable if I didn't see anyone else I would be willing to give him that reassurance. I could be perfectly happy with things just as they are but don't want to feel I have to give someone my itinerary. Not that I have anything to hide. He just ain't my momma... and I don't tell her everything either.
So now my goal is to get thru this chapter in my life without f***ing it up or having a meltdown. I suspect being a couch potato would be soooo much less confusing.
Mental note to self: Next goal -- lobotomy. | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:12:11 AM | My only "real" goal in dating is finding a woman that will always keep fresh film around and bring me the camera when I'm finished in the bathroom......they just don't make 'em like Ma anymore! | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:29:38 AM | Great analogy Wayward! So that is what my problem is. I just haven't been able to find that "special" hammer that fits my palm!!!
...hmmm, special hammer? Thats a new one, never quite heard it worded that way before. So my next question would be, where do we "shop" for these special hammers and how do we know that their "special".......and are we allowed to pick them up and test them?
...maeflowers | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:51:30 AM | Sure Mae......It is called being social and dating..... 
And If you do things just right......you will know that hammer well and its fit.... 
OT.......My real goal for dating is to not a alone as much as it seems to happen many times......that and maybe having another that you enjoy taking out and waking up with............ 
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:45:55 AM |
Sure Mae......It is called being social and dating.....
...Ahhh...dating.....that word doesn't come up much in my vocabulary, which brings me back to setting "goals" I guess haha
...maeflowers | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:59:30 AM |
My only "real" goal in dating is finding a woman that will always keep fresh film around and bring me the camera when I'm finished in the bathroom......they just don't make 'em like Ma anymore!
I highly recommend digital cameras...no need for fresh film..unless it was another kind of roll you were speaking of /snicker :P | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 10:07:16 AM | | See, this is what I mean...Ma wouldda made sure I had my favorite Charmin...towels, washcloths, soap, and a hose available. | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:29:13 AM | | I usually search for guys in my area. I only like to date guys within 20 miles or so. It works well for me. | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:10:13 PM | its a process...... done in steps. I still dont understand what a person means by "not into serial daters" . How many dates does it take to become serial? is it a "rolling" tally? after 6 months do they start dropping off? If i don't date.., how do I meet that special someone? this is so confusing.
what is my real goal for dating? to meet some one that connects with me, and I with her. that would be the eventual, hopeful outcome. But I think it best to say I am here to meet people(hopefully a woman) just like i would in line at the local food store, or dunkin donuts, or target, or in a bar, or at a resturant, or any where there is a large grouping of people. and slowly( not because I want to, but because thats how it just "happens") realize "wow..., this woman is really nice, I feel like I connected with her." ...., and then want to interact more with her....., and just continue with the "steps"
Basically.... I'm just increasing my exposure. | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:27:01 PM | If I werent' in the midst of a job search I think my goal is first to try to meet a new man every couple of weeks for a casual get-together until someone comes along where I want to invest time specifically in getting to know him and him, me. I think you have to set a goal to meet new people otherwise chores, errands, friends fill all your time and there is no space set aside for a wonderful partner to wander into.
Next, I don't have a lot of patience for casual dating, so my goal would be to find someone where there is enough compatibility, attraction, enjoyment and respect that we could explore being "in a relationship". The catch-22 is that you have to date to get there, lol. | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:41:56 PM | lol........SoulMate....not taking the spelling which may just be a disguise to add a bit of sincerity...lets say solemate....sole: bottom of your shoe, you WALK ON IT.
mate: Someone to bang on?
SAYS IT ALL HUH? | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:12:37 PM |
its a process...... done in steps. I still dont understand what a person means by "not into serial daters" . How many dates does it take to become serial? is it a "rolling" tally? after 6 months do they start dropping off? If i don't date.., how do I meet that special someone? this is so confusing
...Oh no, you mean to tell me there are serial daters in our midst? Good gosh I hope they don't try and contact me, I've heard stories about those dreaded "serial daters"
I can tell you one thing....a serial dater I am not...in order to qualify I think I would need to go on a few more than I have lately haha
...maeflowers | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:43:11 PM | >>I can tell you one thing....a serial dater I am not...in order to qualify I think I would need to go on a few more than I have lately haha<<
I'm not making this up... I have read numerous profiles where they will write no serial daters.... , along with the no players, and no momma's boys..., which I know the meaning of that..... geez! ok mom..., I'll be off the computer in a minute....... I gotta go now....... bye.
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 7/31/2008 10:03:26 PM |
I'm not making this up... I have read numerous profiles where they will write no serial daters.... , along with the no players, and no momma's boys..., which I know the meaning of that..... geez! ok mom..., I'll be off the computer in a minute....... I gotta go now....... bye.
...Lol...I was just having a litttle fun...I believe you, I've read that too, ....along with "no players please"......yeah, like that will stop them haha ... so they actually say "no momma's boys do they? Thats funny too.
Anyhow, to get back on topic, how does one set dating goals? Doesn't romance just kinda happen all on its own?
...maeflowers | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 8/1/2008 6:27:24 AM | sorry for getting off topic......
I try not to over analyze it. I believe the romance comes naturally, or at least it should.
For me, the romance(is this part of the thread? is romance part of dating?) comes from wanting to do special things.
as far as goals for dating......? I can only speak for mine....... I would like to think its for meeting that special someone. But I'm fine if it doesn't happen, and I'm fine if I meet some really great women. but I'd love to be in love(and be loved of course). | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 8/1/2008 7:45:57 AM | Sorry folks this may be a little long winded..
When I was first divorced my goal was to find what I had and regain it. That was so wrong and I cut short some great women who would have made great friends and lovers..
After 7 years I realize I want a new person, with new ideas and new likes and dislikes..not anything what I had..I also learned my ex made the statement that the worse times with me was better than the best times with her hubby now. Finally validation! lol
I look at a new date as a potential friend, then if a chemistry is there more..
Reading many divorced female profiles, they seem to not just want a partner but one that can entertain them, travel with them and alot more..preferences is one thing but many say no couch potatoes, no guys who watch tv alot..the list goes on..so my take on this is..they were married for a long time, put off their dreams and interests for th emarriage and now since divorced they want to try and regain all the activities they missed through the years..I tell ya this is a huge pressure for the NEW GUY!..
I was married 23+ yrs, we did it all..and then some..kids, 4 homes, 3 campers, 6 motorcycles, 15 cars, numerous vacations, 100's of parties, we kept it alive by treating our time together as a date.
Now after retiring from one job after 30 yrs and in 5 yrs on a new job, I like being at home, enjoying what I have earned.
I do like to have a date for dinners etc..but to plan and create exciting dates for someone who wasn't "dated" throughout their marriage is work and like having another job..I guess it's just "dating after divorce" rules..Let alone the "widow" issues...I've not had much luck with widows and dating..too many ghosts to be compared to..
So my goal is to date, keep it very light such as a ride through the country on the bike, fishing, the zoo or a museum..the movies are just not good for a date..
Ok girls slam me if you will but this is my take on dating and goals up to now..prove me wrong ok?
Dusty
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 8/1/2008 8:45:18 AM | >>Reading many divorced female profiles, they seem to not just want a partner but one that can entertain them, travel with them and alot more..preferences is one thing but many say no couch potatoes, no guys who watch tv alot..the list goes on..so my take on this is..they were married for a long time, put off their dreams and interests for th emarriage and now since divorced they want to try and regain all the activities they missed through the years..I tell ya this is a huge pressure for the NEW GUY!..<<<
oh my.... I never realized it.., but I have noticed the same thing. I feel like I have to go over a check list every time I read a profile. I have been reprimanded for responding when my age was clearly over by one, of the acceptable age range. LOL
but you are so right. but I would suspect there are guys out there that have given up some things that they wanted to do, and now they are looking to travel, and do those things that they missed out on. Me.., I'd be happy with a balance.... travel.., and couch time. | |
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| What is your real goal for dating?
Posted: 8/2/2008 2:45:19 PM |
its a process...... done in steps. I still don't understand what a person means by "not into serial daters" . How many dates does it take to become serial? is it a "rolling" tally? after 6 months do they start dropping off? If i don't date.., how do I meet that special someone? this is so confusing
GeeWizzzz, It sure is confusing. Imagine explaining this to the 'new generation' of teens~
Gals didn't even ask for a date....She waited until she was asked. Guys sometimes had to meet our Dads.
Sometimes, I feel like my Sons are listening to me as I listened to my Dad with his ridiculous stories of wearing 'Potato Bags" for shirts and my Mom had no shoes.
EeeeeGadds......I've about given up on 'how' to date...If it happens, it happens.
Reading the Forums are like reading a piece of everyones life. And they're a safe haven, besides......That's originally what I joined for.
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