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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:41:51 PM | 1/ Go to the sporting event anyway. If you can get her cheap tickets too then take her.
2/ Make a point of NOT cheating on her. Make it a total sporting weekend. Don't even go to the strip joints. Go to the event previews and reviews instead. It's a sporting weeked.
3/ Come back talking on and on about the sport, the sport, and the sport. About the half blind ref, and the players who loused up. etc etc etc et .
If she starts on about cheating make a point of telling her how few girls there were at the event anyway, and how fewer single girls were there and how ALL of the unnattached girls were sporting groupies only interested in the players.
If she still howls about cheating dump her. Yuve givern her a dozen chances. | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:07:17 PM | "Sweetie, I understand and sympathize with how you feel, but please consider that I am new-- a different guy from the one who cheated on you. You know I'm crazy about you and value trust, and would never think of doing anything like that. But if this helps, if you want and can afford it, you're more than welcome to come along, or I will try to call you as regularly as possible whenever I can. I know you understand that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I'll be back before you know it."
If this sort of routine kept happening, though, the relationship itself might come under strain and be threatened.
As an aside, she is going to Myrtle Beach in a month for her best friend's "no boys allowed bachelorette weekend," and he tried to say "if I can't go to this, you can't go to that." She said, "No man tells me what I can and can't do!"
Sounds like a recipe for the subject of my previous sentence. ;) | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:16:05 PM |
As an aside, she is going to Myrtle Beach in a month for her best friend's "no boys allowed bachelorette weekend," and he tried to say "if I can't go to this, you can't go to that." She said, "No man tells me what I can and can't do!"
Hypocrisy at its best. That speaks for itself.
Using your past as a scapegoat is bullshit. I've been in that situation once, never again. Controlling and probably some other issues that aren't even known in there. I'd personally drop her after that last bit. If it was just a matter of insecurity because of the past, I'd say it'd be either that or she can deal with it and suck it up. I'm not into the whole 'proving' anything by being controlled about what I can and can't do when I've done nothing wrong.
She's just asking for trouble... | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:04:09 AM |
I think you summed up the whole post with one little emoticon at the end 
Hell yes I'd be going. I don't care if she doesn't want me going because she fears for my life on the plane. Nobody "FORBIDS" me from doing anything because they are insecure. If she can't trust me, why is she dating me? Fvck that noise! | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:43:38 AM | Would you go anyway, or would you give in and give up the opportunity?
Go ? Yes ! I would not, however, come back.
There is no need to turn this thread into a Gender war. There is no male involved in the OPs story. | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:19:45 AM | Eh, relationships should be based on respect. There is obviously none there. I've no problem respecting the wishes of my significant other (assuming they are reasonable), provided they are willing to do the same for me (again, assuming my wishes are reasonable to them).
I've never had a problem with this policy, honestly. But then again, I tend not to inspire distrust? | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:48:20 AM | There are bigger issues here. Trust is one of them. If you can't trust your significant other, you got nothing. But that also means that while working on the relationship you need to set up the foundation by which guys don't think is okay to go cheating on her.
So personally, I would dump her. | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:58:33 AM | depends where you're headed I think.
"I am going to see a baseball game out of state with the guys, " be back next monday. she could flip out all she wanted I woudl still go.
"honey, I'm going to daytona beach for spring break this next week, we have hotels booked, these awesome club passes, I am going to have so much fun it's going to be crazy.."
^ If i wanted to go, I would probably never admit this, but she might be right to feel uncomfortable here. At least annoyed with me even if she knew deep down I would never fool around with some 21 year old harlot. It's not so simple as yes or no scenario as to whether she can speak up:
if we were just forming the relationship, maybe trust hasn't reached that level yet. Plus I can't imagine I'd be impressed if we are started to get serious then she's off for a week of drunken decadence in the party epicenter of the world. Plus it is a place for single people to go wild, most of the people's girlfriends and boyfriends there are not there to behave and "just have fun with their friends." I would probably draw the line here as well as, "have fun...you realize I'm not at all happy about this and will not be taking you seriously when you get back." If it's a long term thing, again, i don't see a need for a person in a serious relationship to go to spring break or something like that. If you aren't going to try and shack up, and all your single friends are: how can it be much fun. One night, ok sure, out with the friends, hold them up when they puke. A week straight of that as you are constantly hit on by drunk frat guys, yeah ok you are just there for friends. lol sure. | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:20:23 AM | | ok first of all i am not one to be controled espessialy fi theres a dubble standerd going on here but if somthing like that would come up then id try reasoning with her (i am quite good at that) if this fails then id try to explaign that if this realationship is to continue then she needs to trust me if that fails then its time for me to move on i cant help her in her proplems if she is unwilling to help herself | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:42:47 AM | i bet virtually none of the guys in this thread claiming no one tells me what to do ever, are still going to spring break the way I did despite the girlfriend going ballistic. Not if you value her happiness and approval.
I'm not sure if it was worth it looking back, sure it was fun but she never got tired of throwing that in my face. | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:59:26 AM | now she needs to seek some help. she is letting what the others have done to her effect her relationship she is having now. she needs to trust him, otherwise if he ends staying because of her that is going to cause some major resentment from him. she needs to just trust and let the past go. trust me i have been cheated on, but that does not mean that every guy will cheat. i believe a person deserves a shot at being trusted as long as they arent being obvious in doing the wrong thing!
you should sit down with her and explain that she should let him go and trust him. and on the last little thing you wrote, she cant trust him, but yet she can go to a no boys allowed thing and then he cant do what he cant go to a game come on isnt that wrong!
if a guy cant tell her she can and cannot do then she has to except that she shouldnt tell a man what to do!
and i read more into it, if she does go she will make sure he doesnt have a good time. what she needs to be alone and get help really. she is allowed to do anything she wants, but then when it comes to him no. she needs to get a psychiatrist!
he ended up not going oh my gosh. now she know she has control. she needs to stop blaming him for other peoples mistakes!
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:54:19 AM | 'If she didn't I'd make sure to text and call her throughout the day so she knew I was still thinking about her and hope she got the point that it doesn't matter that I'm not right next to her, because I'm still thinking about her. '
ooh good point. I was just about to say - dump her for her controlling behaviour. My ex wife was like this a lot and it finally drove me nuts. It wasn't the only reason we split up, but it was one of them.
however, the above point is very good. If they still want to be together, then there is going to have to be a time when she 'trusts' him to be out of her site socially. If she can't manage that, the relationship is doomed. So this weekend away with his pals is as good a time as any to test the waters. and like Noorct185 says, if he txts her and calls her while he's away to show he's thinking about her it will provide reassurance.
but she's gotta get off the fence on the whole double standard thing. apologise, suck it up and let him go. and if she can't hack it, well, now he knows. | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/17/2008 12:43:03 PM | angelaisthecoolestsaid:
I forgot.. She told him that she'd come if she had to, but if she did she swore that she'd make sure he didn't have a good time. Oh, that makes things SO easy.
Step 1 - Kick to the curb
Step 2 - Scrape off shoe.
Step 3 - Check for residue. | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:04:24 PM | Depends where you are in the relationship with this person I think. If you rerally care, or should I say Love, you don't go if it will upset her that much. The shoe may be on the other foot at another time, and you may have to ask her to do the same thing. The siduation may be different, but you still may not want her to do something. So it depends how much you like the gal in my opinion. I remember many many years ago when I was fishing in this bay at one of my favorite fishing holes. The weather was perfect, the sun was going down, the fish would not stop bitting. A earth quake would not have made me leave. But when I saw the girl I was in Love with at the time, walking down the beach, I couldn't get in to the shore fast enough. Point is, you make sacrifices to the one's you love. Or loved in my case. If it's new and your still not into her that heavily just yet. Then I'sd probly go with my buds and she would have to deal.  | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/17/2008 10:10:11 PM | I think she thou dost protest too much.
She sounds like a cheater to me. He should dump her right away. She's going to end up cheating on him eventually, because if he isn't a cheater, she won't be happy. She's attracted to cheaters, she's into drama, and he needs to run right now. | |
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| When a woman tells you what you can and can't do...
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:37:52 PM | | I would go. The girl is out of line and needs to deal with her own insecurities. if she has legimate reasons not to trust the guy then she should have already dumped him a long time ago. | |
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