| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:39:11 PM | cdn and moraima, if you had read my post I stated some people perhaps are hiding.
I believe I may have jumped a little too much on the dysfunctional statement a little too quickly, but someone claiming that people who have baggage or even worked thru their "baggage" were from a dysfunctional background is rather harsh.
For some people it takes longer to heal from past relationships, whether it be divorced or widowed, and only the person who has healed really knows.
Also, if we are human, we think we have healed only to have something show it's face again and we wonder where that came from!
I for one, know that you can get rid of any baggage, as I have a lot of dead baggage behind me, and that is where it stays.
I guess what gets me is the "holier than thou" attitude by some posters who claim no baggage, or putting down others who are working thru theirs. JMO | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:48:14 PM | "Also, if we are human, we think we have healed only to have something show it's face again and we wonder where that came from!"
After 15 years, I am finally sure that I have healed. I agree that year 1 I thought I was, until something came up and so on for several years.
I guess what gets me is the "holier than thou" attitude by some posters who claim no baggage, or putting down others who are working thru theirs. JMO
Holier that thou or someone who has made every mistake in the book until they finally have got the healing done?
What is the opposite of Holier than thou for people who go on and on, year after year about their baggage and how everybody has baggage just like their's?
I find it strange that it is ok for many people who say they have baggage to say it, but no ok for the people who say they have to baggage to voice their opinion. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:10:40 PM | "Frankly, my feeling is that once a woman is over 45 years old shes got too much baggage to pursue. I think the same is probably true of men. I dont really think that men and women over the age of 45 are suitable for dating or relationships.
Some people over the age of 45 are definately proudly carrying so much baggage that they shouldn't be dating anyone. Anybody who hasn't healed and hasn't learned to love themselves can't expect to be loved by others. It is a major cheating of the system to expect the next person to "fix" you.
I see people who don't want to be baggage free, but they sure want company for various reasons in datingland. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:27:05 PM | "Frankly, my feeling is that once a woman is over 45 years old shes got too much baggage to pursue. I think the same is probably true of men. I dont really think that men and women over the age of 45 are suitable for dating or relationships."
That has to be the funniest, most immature and obviously full of insecurity - post I think I've ever read! | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:34:59 PM |
cdn and moraima, if you had read my post I stated some people perhaps are hiding.
Sorry, Ms. AW (msg. 101) ... I wasn't addressing my post at anything you'd said -- I would have addressed your words directly if I had. I was just making a comment about something I found rather odd from scanning through the pages of this thread. And I really don't have a 'holier than thou' attitude about my claim to have no baggage right now. I've been out of my last serious relationship for well over 5 years now and out of anything marital for over 20 years. I don't think it takes any huge feat to get over things in that amount of time. I didn't mean to belittle those that are dealing with things that are much newer and fresher than mine are (if that's what I did). But I do question those that state that the healing cannot be done, given time, and be complete.
cdn guy | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:41:28 PM | WE WAKE UP WE HAVE BAGGAGE ,
WE GO TO BED WE HAVE MORE BAGGAGE
ON , AND ON , AND ON
WE HAVE MORE BAGGAGE
THE ONE THAT ASK ABOUT THE BAGGAGE
NOW HAS BAGGAGE
BAGGAGE HELPS US NOT TO FORGET
THE GOOD THE BAD
ALL THE FUN WE HAD
ALL THE SADNESS WE HAVE HAD
I THINK AS WE GET OLDER
OUR BAGGAGES BECOMES LESS INPORTENT TO US
MAN I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I GET OLDER | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:47:32 AM | Peacethx (Msg 96) said:
Frankly, my feeling is that once a woman is over 45 years old shes got too much baggage to pursue. I think the same is probably true of men. I dont really think that men and women over the age of 45 are suitable for dating or relationships. My experiences dating women in my age group are horrific. I feel like I am with a designated guardian. The conversation is terse, uninteresting. Theres a huge wall up. Spontaneity is completely absent.
Quite honestly, I was expecting to see this written by a 29-year old, never-married male. I was surprised to find that it was written by a 51-year old. Peacethx either needs to find a new country, new women in his country, or go seek professional help immediately. He and I clearly have quite different experiences and I would bet he is having a mid-life crisis issue.
It's scary. And boring.
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:20:00 AM | Most 'Baggage' is emotional....- based on building a Lack of Trust over the years!! -
Women have had enough Lies, Abuse, Game-playing, Bad-boys and Macho-slobs...
Men have had enough Golddiggers, High-Maint B!t(#&$ and whiny little girls..!!
My only 'baggage'
[although I don't consider it as such...]
is that I miss my late wife....and I always will....
[For anyone scared-off by that....try to think of it as still having Love to share...
NOT trying to Live-Up to a Standard..!!]
But...that doesn't mean that I can't Love another woman as strongly
.. and as Well ..
as I Loved H E R..!!
* Afterall . . . that Was her last request..!! * | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:07:53 AM |
Sorry, Ms. AW (msg. 101) ... I wasn't addressing my post at anything you'd said -- I would have addressed your words directly if I had. I was just making a comment about something I found rather odd from scanning through the pages of this thread. And I really don't have a 'holier than thou' attitude about my claim to have no baggage right now
awwwww cnd.. I never thought you had a "holier than thou" attitude. Or other posters on here, recently mentioned. Heck I don't have any baggage now either, but maybe I am the one who comes off as being "holier than thou" *shrug *  | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:30:56 AM | wom moraima. i sure hope your not right in that opening assesment. i hope to find a real love that will last the rest of my life someday and the baggage thing i hope is not going to stop me. i will always believe in love, like the desiderata says "dispite its disenchantments it is perinial as the grass" that said your right that some folks should stay the heck out of dating land until they can do so without comparing everything to some ex or another. if we want our new lives to be sucessful we have to treat everybody we meet as if we expect them to be a good person not as if they are going to cheat on us, hurt us or control us like someone in our past did. otherwise your right, stay out of the dating scene. your just making it worse for yourself and others.  the old parrothead | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:33:34 AM | So many on here are missing the whole point of baggage. It's not about past relationships at all. If those things are final,they're gone forever. My oppinion of baggage and being 51 years old is the women that have their 25 year old and up children and granchildren living with them. And also their "in house "pets such as those ugly poodle dogs and 4 or 5 shedding cats living in the house.And cannot go out this weekend because she has to keep the granchildren while her adult children want to go out for the weekend, or an ex husband that comes by and calls all the time, or one that blames most of her problems on the multiple medications she's taking.
Singer John Fogerty says it all very well in one of his songs called"She's got baggage", check it out. Noe that's " BAGGAGE". | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:06:15 AM | Personally I think "baggage" is anything in your past or present that interferes with your ability to have a normal relationship. Over the years I have met people who have experienced varying levels of difficult circumstances. Some people who have been through a lot wind up carrying their "baggage" as if it's a backpack, and others who have had little difficulty in life have carried it like it's a couple suitcases and a trunk (or vice versa).
To me it doesn't matter how much you have been through/how much "baggage" you have... but how you deal with it/carry it.
Some people view baggage as things such as having been through a divorce, or having kids. It is unrealistic to want to be with someone who hasn't had to deal with some pretty normal life experiences, especially when you're over 30. Of course, that's just my way of thinking ;-) | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:57:13 PM |
Why do people expect everyone to have been through a divorce or to have had kids? Some of us have not, and I get dang tired of being seen as some weird undesireable woman since I am not the norm.
No divorce, no kids... NO BAGGAGE!! Now what is so undesirable about that?
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:37:21 PM | I think most people do consider "baggage" to be a negative thing... having unresolved feelings about past experiences or those burdens that we carry around with us. But in thinking about it, it seems that I have a lot more to consider in my life now, than when I was in my twenties and just starting out in life. Is that baggage??? In a way, yes, but that doesn't necessarily make me an emotional wreck! I'm near retirement age, have my family and lots of friends nearby, so that would make me think twice about picking up and moving somewhere if I met someone that was really special that I fell in love with. In my twenties and married, I was ready to move anywhere, without too many obstacles as long as we were together.  | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:08:21 PM |
It's just a dating thing. No one wants to meet for coffee, and then have their date sitting next to you with a bunch of suit cases. It's tacky, and it leaves no place to put your feet
....Its even tackier when all their baggage doesn't match.
...maeflowers | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:48:02 PM | | A friend of mine who is only 33 just split up with his women of 12 years. He said to me "Just how am I going to find a new relationship where the women has no children and wants no children, but loves motor sports". This man is no fool. He realizes that even at his young age, it isn't going to be easy. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:03:53 PM | I've had some wonderful insights traveling with those who have huge steamer trunks. They open their trunks, I open mine, and we see what each other is carrying. Sometimes there is camaraderie as we realize we each have had similar experiences, sometimes we can only lend sympathetic ears, hearing the other tell his or her story. Sometimes those with the most baggage have the best stories, the most insights, the deepest understanding.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I go around choosing those with the most baggage just to get loads of insight, I just choose those with the BEST baggage. Because, honey, there is no such thing as NO baggage--unless you have been in a coma all your life. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:30:33 AM | Very well said Lotus Petal. I could not agree more. Thank you!
It is exactly the way I feel.
The last lady I fell in love with received and helped with my baggage with kindness and understanding. Just as I accepted and tried to helpe her with hers. | |
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