| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:54:09 PM | When you go skiing do you go for the weekend and pack a few bags, or just your skis?
Hi AW, :)
Weekend?? ........I work on skis. Quit my city office job, took a big pay cut and went back to the life I love. I get up every day and just love it. It's never too late to get real (again)!  | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:00:14 PM | Ohhhhh ok, I didn't check the profile, but the Luv 2 Ski nick! So you quit your office job, and left that baggage behind? 
Good for you! Nothing worse than being in a rut and staying there just for money, although money does pay bills.
Most of the baggage I have I pack up and take with me when I go on a trip, otherwise it is hidden in the closet, just waiting to come out............
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:22:36 PM | I couldn't agree with your more! ^^^^ I never was a lover of money, and still aren't but to be happy and content and accept the way things are.
I changed careers 8 years ago, and it was the best thing I have done, so I can understand, even the cut in pay. It is never to late for change.
OT: No baggage is overrated as is baggage. I would rather classify it to life's little lessons, learn them well, and then move on. JMO | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:44:07 PM | OT: No baggage is overrated as is baggage. I would rather classify it to life's little lessons, learn them well, and then move on. JMO
You're so right AW!
Life is all about learning! We are here to learn and grow. Personally, I don't see learning as "baggage". Quite the opposite - to me "baggage" is what happens when the learning and growing stops. Then it starts to pile up and pretty soon it can bury you. 
Anyway...I think we're on the same page on this...the rest is semantics - when what really matters is the concepts and ideas.
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:19:33 AM | It seems there are a number of terms used in the online dating profiles that are emotionally laden and so vague as to be meaningless. The term "baggage" is definitely one of them. And...really...isn't it pointless to put "no baggage, please" in your profile? I mean, seriously, who is going to read someone's profile and say to themselves, "hmmmm, I better not contact that person, because I have way too much baggage and they want someone with no baggage". It just doesn't work that way. People who have issues are often (not always) blind to those issues. IMHO, the real word we're talking about here might be "dealbreakers". I have mine, you all likely have yours. I have my mix of past experiences and current challenges and so does everyone else. It is up to me to decide if the person I am communicating with possesses any of the concerns that would, for me, constitute a dealbreaker. An example many have dealt with is the person who has not moved on from the past relationship and keeps revisiting it far more than just occasionally. This is understandable, but, to me that is a warning flag that the person might not be emotionally available and ready to enter in to a serious relationship yet. For someone else, this might not be a warning flag. The term baggage really is so vague as to mean nothing, but maybe it reveals more about the person who wrote it than about what they are looking for.
And, yes, the travel and baggage analogies do fit nicely. The type of and amount of baggage needed depends upon the journey you are planning to take. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:16:39 PM | I'm 47 .. and dont have any baggage..
If I did I would deal with it first before moving on with someone as its not fair to them.
Any guy/woman that talks about x's of any kind on the first meet or date.This is the worst baggage..Get out quick smart dont stick around. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:22:33 PM | I think iamtsudenymph summed this up perfectly! There's no generic term that works and it's as much a function of the "poster's" perspective as anything else. So being more specific will (perhaps) lead to more quality responses.
Just a thought. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:45:07 PM | Yes Jim, I think we all have baggage. I know that I do. One thing that a lot of people do that I don't agree with though is they rush from one relationship staight into another and don't give temselves time to heal and deal with the baggage. I know that I used to not want to discuss with anyone the things that had hurt me and I was really shutting others out of my life. Some things we never forget but we learn how to deal with it and get on with the future.
Dixie | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:13:45 AM |
I'm in the same position as Not Native. There are some of us out there with little to no baggage. I think we protect ourselves a little more from those with huge issues as other people's problem can ruin a peaceful life that we worked so hard to build. One example, I reject all the separated and new divorced as I just don't want to hold someone's hand being their therapist through a messy divorce, problems with ex, financial problems, and other associated drama.
Exactly. I'm not Mommy. I'm not The Salvation Army. I'm not the Homeless Men's Shelter. I'm not Department of Human Services. I am not Jesus who saves lost souls. Nobody would ever confuse me with a non-profit organization, lol. I set goals for myself, and I meet them. I achieve. I expect a man to be able to do the same. If he's a loser who's trashed his own life, I sure as H*ll am too smart to let him in so he can trash mine. Too may women both lonely and gullible, and they are prey. I'm not particularly offended if men call me a ballbuster. I've worked in a man's world for many years. I know how they think, what they whine about and why, most of their manupulation tactics, where the soft spots are.
That doesn't mean I've lost my sensual side. It just means I keep it under lock and key just like all my other valuables. I only bring it out for the best of company. Men are g'd*mned stupid about strong women. In today's world, you pick a strong partner, honey. All the rest are going to get chewed up and spit out.
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:41:47 AM | The ex baggage is the worst kind...when you enter into a new relationship you are not seeking to replace their children or their parents or friends,you are replacing a former wife/husband/bf/gf...and if you are facing a challenge from the beginning it will only be painful...which can lead to  ...maybe even | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:19:49 AM | "I think we all have baggage. I know that I do. "
I can't understand why all the people who do have baggage are so sure that everyone else does???
Maybe part of their baggage is that they need to feel that others haven't dealt with their baggage either.
I know that I have been single for a long time so I have had much long to deal with problems that no longer exist. However, there is no way that anything from my past is still there to spill into my present or future. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:36:08 AM | ak transplant said:
I am envious. Wish I could do that. Baggage or no baggage, it sure would be nice to simplify.
Hey AK- I know it may be easier for me than for others so I don't suggest everyone can "drop out" and go ski. For one thing I have no kids. But the one thing we can all do is each day question and evaluate the choices we make and the personal life sacrifices we make to obtain things that maybe we really don't need.
Just because the ad says we need a 52" Plasma TV doesn't mean it's true! That Plasma TV is earned with the minutes and hours of your life. We have become programmed to respond impulsively to the crazy materialistic machine that we call "normal society".
It's nuts.
If the next moment was to be your last, would you spend it watching the Plasma TV or being grateful for that extra moment?
To simplify your life just allow time for it each day. Time for you. Time to be aware. To live. To feel gratitude for life, for friends, for all the gifts we truly have. Turn off the "machine" even for an hour and contemplate what really matters, act and choose accordingly for the rest of the day and you will find that your life will get simpler.
One word of warning though - You just have to be prepared to accept where that might take you. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:50:01 AM | ...As someone stated in an earlier post, anyone who says they carry no baggage is in denial. We start accumulating "baggage" very early in life and we will carry some of it with us all our lives. I truly believe that the "stuff" we have have accumulated over the years makes us who we are today and I would not be who I am if it wasn't for life experiences....good or bad. As a teacher once said to me....its the failures that make one successful in life.
...maeflowers | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:57:19 PM | I loved your response and totally agree with you. Not only is requesting no baggage cowardly and insulting, it is a clear indication that its author is psychologically immature, very self-centered, and looking for a person that has never existed.
I also am so astonished at how easily some women can "pretend" that their ex-husbands have absolutely no impact of any kind on their present lives. The vow that they took, "Till death do us part," was apparently done without any thought at the time. If nothing else, the FACT that neither spouse could, either individually or as a tandem, save the marriage, indicates that future baggage is going to be there, if one values words spoken in an oath to GOD.
What I am trying to say (and not doing so very clearly, I'm afraid) is that,in my opinion, anyone who has been divorced should feel some sense of personal failure---not just some relief! And while this admittance of failure shouldn't prevent one from getting on in life, it should serve as warning that no one is perfect and without "baggage." Ladies, and especially ones living in a house awarded to them in a divorce settlement, get with reality and quit asking for the impossible, and, above all, look in the mirror and and stop looking at yourselves in a state of denial. We all have baggage! And not all of it is bad (if you love your "problem" children, you know exactly what I mean). | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:44:54 PM | | How chauvinistic !! and to think I thought we all conquered that (and got over ourselves) in the 70's (grew up so to speak). Glass house INDEED. After 30 years.....I live in a small apartment....my (not so) significant other languishes in the 2500 sq ft cape cod I cleaned, maintained, painted, and filled with memories all those years....Yes he bought me out.....but after legal fees etc in this market....and he with the more substantial career (the little woman "managed" the home front/children/pets etc. all those years) - he is in a far better position than I am...unfortunately "managing the home front" comes with no company pension plan, long or short term disability, medical or dental benefits. Luckily I was able to open up a small business to keep afloat and invested wisely....But you know....he may have the "house".....but I (finally) have the peace and freedom.....It was worth the financial sacrifice....so YOU mister need to get off your high horse too | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 169 | |
| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:37:41 AM | There's enough baggage in this thread to keep United Airlines busy for a year.
I agree that it's fruitless to put "no baggage please" in your profile. What I do is force potential mates through a mental marathon race so that the ones with the most baggage drop out early. And baggage seems correlated to age; the older women carry so much baggage that they usually drop out first. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:33:09 AM | Baggage?? Have you seen my backside ?? ..Seriously folks . We all have it. Unresolved conflicts? Things that bug the crap out of us all day long on the job ? Do you have kids ? Have you ever been dumped ? Did you ever lose a love one? Do you take care of an elderly parent?
Those issues come with emotional attachments that sometimes you can't just sweep under the carpet .
What cracks me up is the person that requests you have none . They must lead a very boring life . Or are on some excellent medication. I put them in the same category as those requesting a height weight proportionate date . They look good on paper but they ain't nothing to write home about !
Hey get real
The laugh lines have showed that you've lived | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:27:02 AM |
Baggage?? Have you seen my backside ?? ..Seriously folks . We all have it. Unresolved conflicts? Things that bug the crap out of us all day long on the job ? Do you have kids ? Have you ever been dumped ? Did you ever lose a love one? Do you take care of an elderly parent?
First, no I have not seen your backside! lol But see, to some of us, a nice plump big backside is the resort we want to carry our baggage to! lol Who likes skinny? not me! Just don't like obese.
I am impressed with the many thoughts, opinions and feelings about the baggage issue. I thank each and every one of you for adding your comments.
Now I'm about to start another thread on a couple of other pet peeves of mine. See if they generate as much interest as this thread has.
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:17:59 PM | Sorry i believe nobody can "escape baggage" wether it's your child ,family, friends, in need, or a stranger?.........OR...........something in life that stays with you( you can FORGIVE just never forget) "baggage" is a term and a cop out for someone who doesn't care enough to deal with emotions, now don't get me wrong, some have way more problems than others, but what makes us "MORE SPECIAL" at our age? to bypass this?
Call me a bleeding heart but "HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL" i am a realist, most don't want older women for whom we are BUT WHAT WE CAN GIVE LOL.............been there done that and learned..... BUT I NEVER GIVE UP! | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:19:56 PM | | Its not how much baggage you have, its how you carry it and a lot of people don't carry theirs very well. Moody, distrustful, jealousy, control issues are just a few I have run into with people I have dated. They have let their past turn them into people that they themselves would not want to date. I have found it is hard to find someone that likes to have fun, smiles a lot, is not moody and likes to travel and do things on weekends and really just be happy. Plus as we age it is hard to find women that we are attracted to that are attracted to us. I have always liked smaller women and there are so few of them around in forties or early fifties that still are young. | |
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| We all Have baggage at our age? No Baggage thing...I don't get it
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:18:23 PM | | I don't believe you are missing the meaning because the meaning is exclusive to the person. "Baggage "is a buzz word coined by some unforgotten jilted person trying to apply meaning to the death of a relationship.I believe it can be positive as well as negative, but usually comes with negative vibes or connotations......another word for baggage could be "experiences" or "wisdom"......when used in a negative context,one would say they are emotionally laden with "drama".........In a positive mode,they are "worldly" or "very wise"......(provided they learned from these experiences).How boring must the person be who has no baggage.................On the other hand beware of the person with trunks.............they may be a bit too much to handle..............Just match your baggage claim slip with your partners baggage slip and perhaps you have a match................. | |
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