| Have you ever had a date with someone who has been in prison?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:43:30 PM |
He was a weird one. At first he seemed so genuine and sweet. Later he revealed his true nature. When angry he became irrational and threw a tantrum that would shame a toddler
That's exactly like one of them that I met! I found out it could be Borderline Personality Disorder, where they never grew up. And then....just the other day, I talked to a guy FROM HERE who had been in prison for 15 years! He won't tell me what for, but with that length of time it would have to be something pretty bad. Already he is saying I "judge" him, because I told him of my experience with the other ex prisoner. They always pull that on you. That is just too weird that I met two ex-prisoners on POF. Gee, what are they running here, a prison pen pal service?! | |
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| Have you ever had a date with someone who has been in prison?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:38:10 AM | Honestly.. I have a dilema. I teach in a prison facility and have become attracted to one of my tutors.. I know what he did.. and he has been in since he was 16/17.. life for a HEFTY robbery.. he gets out in Sept and I am so confused..  | |
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| Have you ever had a date with someone who has been in prison?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:05:48 AM |
Have you ever dated an "ex-con" or someone who has been in prison before?
Yes, but he wasn't an ex-con, he was a man who had been incarcerated. (I'm weird about semantics.)
If so, how long were they in prison and how do you feel it affected them and their ability to have a functional relationship?
I don't discuss his personal business, but he was no stranger to life inside. How did it affect him? I can only attest to how he was with me, and he was, without hesitation, the kindest man I've ever known. Loving, caring, honest and willing to stick through things no matter how thick or thin. He was far more communicative/open than anyone I had known before or since.
I think prisoners learn how to con in prison and it warps them permanently, if they are in long enough.
LMAO ~ well, we all have our thoughts on most everything. As a life-long slave to the legal system (professionally,) I can safely say: prison is what it is and if someone chooses to learn to be a better criminal that avenue is wide open. However, that isn't that case with all inmates/former inmates. ( And not all criminals spend time in prison. (The current Administration and cronies come to mind.) JMO  | |
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| Have you ever had a date with someone who has been in prison?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:57:42 AM | I dated one guy that had been in prison. He was drop dead gorgeous. And ignorant. And uncouth. And self-centered. And lazy. Probably not all people that go to prison have all of those qualities, but this one did. His looks just couldn't make up for it.
Sherry | |
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| Have you ever had a date with someone who has been in prison?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:08:17 AM | I have, but it wasn't so much what prison did to him as it was the attitude that got him there in the first place that made me cautious and that I wasn't sure had changed. He had been in for 3 years, a multiple drunk-driving situation.
<div class="quote">I think prisoners learn how to con in prison and it warps them permanently, if they are in long enough.
I don't think that's entirely true as most are already well-skilled at it. That's why they are in prison. The danger is that being surrounded by a lot of other people equally skilled at deception gives one the perception that it is just the way people are. And so, that is how they behave because they believe others (even once they are out) are like what they have come to accept as "reality" and it isn't even anything they see as a big deal, or "wrong".
However, the key is people can change (though not all do). Everyone should be able to have another chance. Will they make good on it or not? You see, the one thing, regardless of the trespass that landed them in prison, that they will all share is a lack of respect (a key ingredient for a good relationship); for the law, for other people, sometimes even for themselves. All crime, at it's very heart is disrespect, plain and simple. If the person has shown geniune regret and his/her actions (this takes time so never rush into a relationship with them) demonstrate a change of heart and mind, then they could be perfectly capable of a good relationship. On the other hand, if they are still playing the "blame game"; if they seem more concerned that they got caught than that they committed a crime, if they show any behaviors that indicate a return to the actions/attitudes that landed them in prison in the first place, or if they still "hang" with any of the old friends who may have been involved or influential in their past lifestyle, than run, don't walk, as fast as you can. That will not only be someone incapable of a relationship but it just isn't someone you want in your life, period. | |
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| Have you ever had a date with someone who has been in prison?
Posted: 7/11/2008 12:29:28 PM |
Have you ever dated an "ex-con" or someone who has been in prison before? If so, how long were they in prison and how do you feel it affected them and their ability to have a functional relationship? I think prisoners learn how to con in prison and it warps them permanently, if they are in long enough.
Not that I know of...unless they lied about it. | |
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| Have you ever had a date with someone who has been in prison?
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:18:07 PM | I have never dated anyone that has "touched" the correctional system.
Personally, I do not think that I would due to trust (it takes a lot for me to trust people as it is!).
Also, having a record can be so limiting - you cannot get hired on for a lot of jobs, you cannot cross the border (which would be a deal breaker for me), and having a record.
All the power to the men and women that are in relationships with cons and ex-cons.
CC. | |
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