| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:58:50 PM | I personally think it is wonderful that men and women can both abandon the "pursuit of a mate" and concentrate on other hobbies and interests, especially after you have already experienced marriage and divorce.
It would be fab to have a great mate, but why make yourself insane and miserable if you don't? I think sometimes people misunderstand me when I say I am happy without a boyfriend or a husband. It is not that I don't want one, but I can't "make one appear." It is just hard (for both men and women) to find someone sexually, emotionally and intellectually compatible. So why should a man or woman make themselves miserable and be constantly on the search? | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/1/2008 2:34:57 PM | I'm sure there are many women who have come to the same conclusion. I am one of them. Dating is just too much of a pain in the neck and the expectations these days are so much different than they were a couple of decades ago. If I should ever meet a man who appeals to me and the feeling is mutual and more develops, great. If not, then that's okay, too. I believe that if it's meant to be it'll happen.
N. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:28:31 PM | Denial of the dynamics that are in place and have been developing over time to polarize and separate the sexes is NOT the pathway to peace...
So, why embrace it by encouraging your sistas in their sexism and in that encouragement participating in it yourself?
... interesting pathway to peace. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:25:00 PM |
new age psycho babble....
....
Aye Cap'n, me thinks she be a loon!
Psycho babble is correct, though I'd tend to add the adjective "flaky" to her proselytizing, but that's not what I find tiresome. The incessant preaching of her world view is tedious at best....
the needle is stuck.... is stuck... is stuck.... is stuck.... is stuck.... is stuck.... is stuck..... is.....
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:47:33 PM | ROFL!!
yeah...
Candidate for some obtuse cult...
Worshipping at the feet of self proclaimed "New Age Guru's"
She actually posted a website about some guru guy that thinks all the human body needs is sunlight... Imagine that... Millions of years of evolution, and all we need is sunlight.. HA!
Stuck.... Stuck... Stuck...
A toast! To Wives and Sweat Hearts!
May they Never Meet!! | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:22:59 PM | | yes we are human beings who doint want you preaching to us how to live our lives ...as you say what ever floats our boat ......if we choose to sail our ship alone thats our decision not yours ok ....we are free to do what we wish mai .....so please stop hijacking this thread to sell your tantric buissness ok .....you seem to be making a habit of this .....moving bk on track .....is this a new social phenomenon | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:53:07 PM | Why would most men want to date women?
Every relationship is about the woman. I'm not dating from now unless she is the giver more often than I am. If a generous woman swoops me into her arms and spoils me so be it. Otherwise I will focus on my career.
I am tired of being used, taken advantage of, being a meal ticket. I deserve more. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:09:38 PM | I think it's fantastic honestly. I've never wanted a man to be with me because he's societally predestined to find a mate. Thanks, but I'll pass being the token female option. Sure, I'd like to find a match some day, but nothing is ever guaranteed. And lets be honest. Women tend to outlive men. So even if I do find a mate, the likelihood I won't be a widow for 20 years late in life is high. Depressing, I know. For both genders. :\
I'm a female that's come through the dating grinder without bitterness and am hopeful I'll find a guy whose done the same. It's easier to let the constant rejection, being taken for granted and dehumanization fester and determine who you are as a person. Although I feel sorry for people I meet who are like that, I wouldn't want to get into a relationship with one.
I live in the midwest, so the trend you're speaking of is one that isn't prevalent here from what I've seen. Dating casually is practically impossible. I've had men not consider dating me because I may be moving in a couple of years. Others start talking about the future and how many kids I'm interested in having. Dude, this is our second date! They don't want to get involved unless the potential for marriage is on the table. So yeah, I haven't met men like that here. I do know they're more prevalent in more urban cities though. I see it as a good thing frankly. People getting together just for the sake of not being alone isn't fair to either party. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:51:25 AM |
My analytic and experiencial guess is that if this group is growing, its because their expectations of the other are inordinately high....and their ability to appreciate difference, experience genuine interest in another human soul....and let their sexuality emerge naturally out of their pleasure in another's being, has had no chance to develop.
In short....men are picky and critical.........they assess women as you would a horse, a rather nasty "slave market" hang-over.
And on the other side of the coin: They avoid mirrors, especially the ones that reveal our own weaknesses...fears...and anxieties....so they can never genuinely open up to a bright woman, for fear she'll reciprocate with the nitpicking. In short, they aren't so hot in bed...never mind the snoring!!!
Sometimes, I think we all need remedial courses in being human, and treating other humans with respect and dignity....and I'm not leaving the female sex out of this. I have a friend on here...and I'm amazed by how often he's in bed with some woman the second or third date. When I asked him how this happens, and teasingly.."what its like to be a male slut?" he tells me usually its the ladies who initiate!!!!
ROFLMAO!!!! 
Okay Princess... When your done smokin whatever it is... either pass it around, or go sleep it off... | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:27:03 AM | In short....men are picky and critical...
"Female, a 'few' extra pounds, 5'2" ....
"Must be at least 5'11", full head of hair, athletic.."
Gee, my bald head and only being 5'10" tall (neither exactly my "choice") must make me an evil person? I read that in a profile and feel like I'm being assessed... "as you would a horse".
Sometimes, I think we all need remedial courses in being human, and treating other humans with respect and dignity....and I'm not leaving the female sex out of this.
Saved herself there, I agree with that - its not particular to either sex, its a *human* trait. We all have preferences, but I find a lot on here of 'bashing' rather than accepting that not *everyone* fits your 'mold' of what you want in a partner.
In fact, there's this post about how men are "picky and critical", "unable to open up to a bright woman", and are unwilling to look at themselves - and snore to boot!! Well, I guess in reality if thats *all* you've experienced from men in your life - maybe you should be "looking in the mirror" at your own choices in men rather than generalizing all men as that?
.. oh, wait, I'm sounding critical now, aren't I? | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 287 | |
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:25:22 AM |
To all the men who choose not to date any more, cool, go for it
It's been okay for me so far.
I read PoF enough and dated enough to know that most women are a net negative in my life. I just don't need the annoyance in exchange for mediocre sex. The comment about men being "picky and critical" is hilarious, though, considering the common female complaint that men will sleep with any woman that's available.  | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:39:23 AM |
Men and woman are polarized.
Well, please, grab your mukluks and maybe some sunscreen and head for your pole, then.
This thread is about changing roles and values. Some men have chosen to bow out of what they see as increasing pressure to conform to women's ideals. Some men are just tired of the crap.
The crap that you keep going on about may pique the interest of some, but others may prefer Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Marharishi Mahesh Yogi, Yogi Bear, Jesus Christ, Gandhi, the Pope, Buddha, Mohammed or the drunk at the end of the bar. Who cares?
Stop preaching already.
Have a couple on me, I think it'll do you some good.
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:07:42 AM | | It isn't just the guys, I'm a female with a very comfortable and happy life, and I don't have a partner. Lately I have been thinking that maybe having a partner to share my happy adjusted life may enrich me more, and hopefully theirs too. So here I am looking for that one person who wants to share their enriched life with me and wow, what happy content and exciting life it might be. I will not settle for whatever, if it doesn't fit, and they are negative or unhappy in their skin then I will either keep looking or go back to what makes me happy. Not all women need or crave a man, or can't live without them, so its not so strange to find men or women who don't want or need the hassle. If it gets where it is not fun anymore for me, then okay guys, I'll just have to pass on the partner thing, and enjoy all my friends and family I have. I guess it's what you want to try or put up with. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:57:11 AM | Damn... where are those stupid love beads when ya need them...
Its nice to think that there are Cult Guru's running around preaching love, the higher plane, exestential existence, tantric orgasms.... but when you wake up... REALITY is what the rest of us have to deal with. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:24:24 AM | | hey mia ......im having a wonderful life hunny ....without your load of crap thanks ....he he he he you are one human being who is such a player ,a peace loving person you say he he he load of tosh ....if that what your teachings do make such a lovely kind person that your not ......im so glad im me ....keep hold of ya tooth brush hunny ....remember karma lol......YES LOVE I GIVE UNCONDITIONALY ....YES I DO NO WHAT LOVE IS MIA .....DO YOU ??????... | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:01:21 AM |
Its nice to think that there are Cult Guru's running around preaching love, the higher plane, exestential existence, tantric orgasms.... but when you wake up... REALITY is what the rest of us have to deal with.
Yep - reality is so much more illuminating though, as well as rewarding, than cults actually. Cult followers generally don't have the best outcomes - historically speaking, of course.  | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:03:31 AM |
Joolsy
If I had been raped, sodomized, had my bones broken and was left with disabilities, and an immune system disorder as you have
reported is your lot, and my biggest satisfaction out of it all was to pee on his toothbrush, I'm sure I'd feel just as you do.
Oh now... that is LOW... . Shame on you for using someone's pain to try to better your own position. No boundaries again huh Mia?
I've said elsewhere, higher consciousness seems to equal lack of conscience and it's sure been proven here... How disgusting!
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:18:31 AM |
...higher consciousness seems to equal lack of conscience and it's sure been proven here...
Geez... wish I'd've come up with that. Nice.
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:23:49 AM | If I had been raped, sodomized, had my bones broken and was left with disabilities, and an immune system disorder as you have
Shame on you Mia! If you can't stop yourself maybe you should take a time out.
There was a study done recently(within 6 months) which concluded men were not afraid of committent but were afraid of a bad committment. I think that should have been obvious from postings here.
After being screwed by someone you loved, it's only human to step back and wonder if it's worth it to look for love again.
I miss that feeling of love and of being needed, but is it worth the risk of being screwed over again. I think I'll just work on myself for awhile until I decide.
edit: After reading the thread where Mia took her rant against joolsy I'm sickened and vote Mia off the island. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:28:17 AM |
but when you wake up... REALITY is what the rest of us have to deal with.
In the end REALITY is a fabrication of the mind. Like the animal that reaches the edge of the cage but will not go out because that is what it has been condition to believe so does we humans create the same cages and limit our selves to those constraints. Little did you know that you can invent a new reality and that when you wake up it is that new reality the one you will be living.
A friend of mine once told me
"Be care careful, sometimes you get....exactly what you wish. And what do you do then?" | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:39:47 AM |
"Be care careful, sometimes you get....exactly what you wish. And what do you do then?"
I think that is very appropriate for this thread.
I was guilty in my younger years of 'wishing' too much to find a woman to love and who would love me. Unfortunately, every time I thought I'd met her, it ended badly. I accept that I was the only common denominator in all of those messed up situations and despite all of the 'self-work', therapy, loving myself, I just got to a point where I have no interest in 'wishing' or even trying for a woman's love again. Would it be nice? Sure, but I'm just can't be bothered trying anymore. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:41:57 AM |
Does anyone else know any guys who have built happy lives without dating and now don’t even consider dating an option?
No, I've never known a guy like that, nor would I head in that direction. I'm not actively looking right now simply because I'm not sure if I'm ready or not. But I do intend to move back to dating at the right time.
In the end REALITY is a fabrication of the mind.
This shouldn't be wasted in the middle of a multi-page thread, it really deserves a thread of it's own. That's kind of like the "is the glass half empty or half full" question. Reality is what you make it. You can be in a good situation and cause yourself to be miserable, or you can be sitting in a horrible situation and be totally happy. Unfortunately, most of us are the former. | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 299 | |
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:45:31 AM |
I had a mythic love...a sublime sexual, emotional and spiritual connection that showed me what god is
I had that once, too.
But then they sent me to rehab.
Reality is what you make it
Mr Gas Station attendant doesn't agree.
I told him that gas was really $1 / gallon but he still charged me $4.50. | |
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