|
|
|
|
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:33:15 PM |
However, what I consider childish is the fact that men use women...especially kids who are susceptible to their shenanigans, and they break their hearts simply because they can. That's childish!
I'm not sure how you make this leap from what men have stated in this thread.
I am a father of three: a stepson (17), and two bio-kids (boys 9&11). They live with me half the time and would live with me full-time if they had the choice, even my stepson. How does my choice not to look for a woman to be in my life detrimental to them?
There are other fathers who feel the same way.
That's childish! Another thing that is childish is to fold one's arms in front of themselves and claim that they're not dating anyone, just because they can't have it their way.
Again, I'm not sure how you make this leap from what men have said in this thread. I find it far more childish that women are offended by our choices. I see women with your take on this standing with arms crossed, stamping your little feet saying over and over, " Listen to me! I'm the woman here, so obviously, I'm right, you're wrong! " I just don't get it.
The fact is that we see this trend more and more. Unfortunately, way too many are following the trend and losing out because of it, sadly.
But, what are we losing out on? Nothing that I can see. I see it as GAINING in a number of areas.... Freedom as the biggest gain, I do what I want when I want. I don't have anyone (besides my sons) to answer to or make plans for my life.
The problem is the same with many of these things. If you avoid things, outright, eventually you can lose the ability.
What? I don't think any guy here has said the avoid women completely. I interact and flirt with women all the time. I may not be the hunkiest guy around, but I wouldn't have to work too hard to find a woman to hang out with and have sex with. Occasionally, I let myself be caught though I'm very blunt about not wanting to have a 'serious' relationship. I'm out there for the fun.
I don't even rule out a LTR, I just can't be bothered looking.
I guess I just don't see why you think people are losing anything by this trend or the choices we are making. As many women have said, " Great! Get those men out of our pool, we don't want them anyway! "
Again, who cares?
 | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:58:17 PM | | yes yes yes yes im having a tantric moment .....he he he he he he im feeling the loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee | |
|
| |
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:37:46 PM | Well, I certainly hope it is not the new social phenomenon....I am one that likes to be in a steady relationship. But, that is a hard thing to do in this day and age. We are such an instant society that many of us lack the patience and stamina to put in the real work neccessary to make a lasting relationship. Too many out there are in it just for what they can get out of it. Compromise and give and take are not something they do. Society as a whole has become pretty selfish. So, it is easier to just give up altogether than to keep trying.
I have had my share of times that I thought it was too hard and I was better off by myself than with someone. But, it doesn't last for long because I like having someone to share my life with. The real, everyday stuff. So, I remain the eternal optimist that Mr. Right is out there and we will eventually find each other.  | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 1:50:52 PM | best posting i've ever read on p.o.f.,,,so true, and helpful for us less fortunate to have the social skill, or better yet, connections to find dates on a regular basis. I find myself missing a mate on holidays, and the occasional times when i get myself in a jam, and could use some help(yes, we've all been there), but with technology as it is today, i can sit online talking to someone from anywhere in the world, that spouse that was once my everyday communication has turned into, many chats with different perspectives, all along watching what i want to watch, and listening to what i want to listen to. Will i do a long term relationship again,,,i've come to the conclusion it's not up to me, just keep rollin them bones, and see what comes up | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:05:56 PM |
However I do feel for myself that there is a possiblility of this being a two-edged sword; the more comfortable and content I become alone, the less open I am of someone in my life and the compromises that will entail.
wow, coruja, never thought of it that way, but i think you've got something there!
i could see how that could happen.......it may have already, though i have been on my own for only two years now! | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 8:04:42 PM | keyzguy369 Dude I was on your side, because you were a hustler, the very epitomy of capitalism. But if you want to fcuk with me you should reconsider. You're almost incomprehensible and that's why women want nothing to do with you. You can't talk or write.
Dude you should learn about military police before you fcuk with me. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:41:35 PM | Holy crap!!! I am seeing signs of aggression. I do believe that this is a lack of sexual attention from a female companion.
I have chosen to keep myself to myself, but that is only until I find a suitable woman, then, no more of this Happy To Be Alone crap that everyone is spreading. It’s not natural and everyone knows it.
‘Oh, you need to be happy with yourself and by yourself if you want to be in a real relationship.’
What a bunch of horseshit. I choose to be alone so that I don’t become a worthless POS with STD’s and **stard children spread across the globe.
Alone is not natural.
If I have children I want to make damn sure that I, or we with me and a wife I should say, can provide a stable home environment for them. None of this broken family crap that is so popular nowadays.
If someone was content with being alone, then they wouldn’t want a relationship, it would cause too much havoc on their aloneness. | |
|
shimbo
|
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 359 | |
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:45:03 PM | Dude, relax.
Masturbate a couple of times to cool down.
I must admit, this thread is incredible flakey now - UFOs, witchs, some crazy guy in Key West (Hemingway would be proud), and Military Police guy and now freak-out child-boy? | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:51:45 PM |
If I have children I want to make damn sure that I, or we with me and a wife I should say, can provide a stable home environment for them. None of this broken family crap that is so popular nowadays.
Man, to use the vernacular of kids these days, you are such a newb (rookie).
Really, I admire and respect you POV, but, man, there are no guarantees no matter how hard you work, how much you try, how careful you are in you choice of a woman, how much you think you can beat the odds, or what's comin' down the Pike a couple of years away.
| |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:12:34 PM |
Man, to use the vernacular of kids these days… …or what's comin' down the Pike a couple of years away.
Nice verbage. Vernacular, I like it.
As far as the rest, I don’t like that people take it as ‘just the way things are’. It is not right for our society to move so far away from where it should be, and just accept it. I believe that everyone should take a stand and say that enough is enough. No more secrets, no more cowardess, and no more giving up.
Are you not tired of seeing women ‘feeling’ the ‘oh, its getting boring and I think that I want something new?’ Friggin quitters
What about men who cheat to feel ‘revitalized’? Friggin quitters
Yes, I want a woman with a strong mind and who is keen enough to bypass all that crap and put her energy where it belongs.
I know that there are no guarantee’s, but to me it is well worth trying to find a woman like that. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:14:34 PM |
Holy crap!!! I am seeing signs of aggression. I do believe that this is a lack of sexual attention from a female companion.
Or just dysfunction. Perhaps the lack of female attention is caused by the display of aggression...who knows, it's the chicken or the egg thing.
I have chosen to keep myself to myself, but that is only until I find a suitable woman, then, no more of this Happy To Be Alone crap that everyone is spreading. It’s not natural and everyone knows it.
This is what I don't understand. If you feel you aren't happy being alone, then that's you - the world is full of people that all like things differently. So to some, it's not crap...and that's ok too. Why do some people think that everyone has to think alike or be wrong?
‘Oh, you need to be happy with yourself and by yourself if you want to be in a real relationship.’
There's a reason people say that. Mostly it's because when you think someone else is gonna make you happy, you both put your life in the hands of someone else, and you compromise to make it happen...because being alone becomes hard to take when you think someone is missing. If you can stand to be by yourself, you'll have the patience to wait for the person that's right for you, instead of trying to see your other half in every person you meet and/or date. Let's be honest, only one will be right for you - and you have to go thru a lot of wrong ones to get to that right one, so you might as well be happy by yourself in the meantime. Not being happy changes nothing but your attitude while you wait.
What a bunch of horseshit. I choose to be alone so that I don’t become a worthless POS with STD’s and **stard children spread across the globe.
And that's admirable...it's also your personal choice. Just as a million other people choose something different.
Alone is not natural.
It's not natural, but honestly no one is really alone - we have a ton of people around us that are not people we're dating maybe, but are there for us nonetheless. Single does not equate to alone, unless you make your SO your whole world and talk to no one else. But, who does that, really?
If I have children I want to make damn sure that I, or we with me and a wife I should say, can provide a stable home environment for them. None of this broken family crap that is so popular nowadays.
I agree with Captain above - you can plan it out that way, but you should also realize that you can only control your end of things - and hope it turns out the way you want it to.
If someone was content with being alone, then they wouldn’t want a relationship, it would cause too much havoc on their aloneness.
Alone, no. Single...yes. There are many who are content with staying single, and don't want a relationship. I have seen some state that here in forums....and that's cool because it's what works for them. If it doesn't work for you, then fine, don't do it. | |
|
shimbo
|
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 363 | |
| |
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:23:55 PM | ^^ That is true, all of life is a risk and there are no guarantees. A few of my male friends have quit on the idea of relationships, I respect them too much to debate their choice; they are intelligent, well adjusted men who have made a decision that seems right for them.. or right for them right now.
There are men who are fundamentally loners, who are content and at peace with a solitary life. (well, some of them have a very active life that is joyously filled with things other than family). The sad thing, to me anyway, are the men who have given up on it as a bad deal when they are the type who would thrive in a relationship. I find it sad that society has become so incredibly dysfunctional.
My bias is showing... I am very definitely one who thrives in a relationship; I'm a giver, it's my nature. While I have seriously contemplated letting go of the notion of relationships at a few points in my life it has only ever amounted to a hiatus. Oddly enough, one of my male friends who is committed to never be in a relationship again was one of the people who smacked me the hardest over the head with a virtual 2x4 and said "wake up! this isn't you". Dayum, those wake up calls are rough sometimes, lol. I recognized I was trying to protect myself from hurt and failure rather than moving to something that fulfilled me.
It's tricky speaking of these things these days. It's not politically correct to say you would prefer to be in a loving relationship than to choose to be alone. I share well, and sharing the experience does it for me. So, for me, the risk is worth it. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:34:39 PM |
Let's be honest, only one will be right for you - and you have to go thru a lot of wrong ones to get to that right one.
No I don’t. lol Wait, what do you mean go through a lot of wrong ones. I see wrong ones everyday, but that is not really going through them, is it?
Not being happy changes nothing but your attitude while you wait.
I am not not happy. Did I come off as pissy? It was the language wasn’t it. Yeah, I do that sometimes. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:35:56 PM |
Nice verbage. Vernacular, I like it.
I think the word you were looking for was 'verbiage', but maybe not. 'Vernacular' is a word, 'verbiage' may apply or not to what I wrote.
'Cowardess' would be a female coward if such a word existed. Many women would be offended just as they are when you refer to them as 'Ladies'.
Anyway, yes, I'm tired of the bullshit that goes on, has gone on and that will continue for sometime. I'm done with the bullshit. I have my kids and do not expect to have a significant other for the rest of my life. "So it goes," as Kurt Vonnegut so eloquently put it.
I do wish you luck, love and happiness.
| |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:42:19 PM | | so what do these men do for sex?? don't they miss it? i mean if they are normal and healthy i would assume they do. i know i miss it like hell when i'm not in a relationship. not only sex but also affection, it's so nice to just hold someone and kiss someone passionately. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:44:43 PM | | I have noticed that older men seem to be doing that. I really don't see many younger guys doing it. I really don't date anymore cause it seems that most of the guys that I talk to just want sex and that is really discouraging. I am not opposed to finding the right one, however I am not actively looking. Just tired of all the B.S. I guess. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/3/2008 10:55:39 PM | Its because women judge us guys to death and guys get sick of it happeniong over and over and after years of trying give up. Oh hes too short...oh hes too tall...oh hes too nice...oh hes too aggressive, blah, blah, blah.
I'll quote the famous Daniel Packard...
A woman has one egg, and men compete to get it. So women put up walls to protect themselves. Where ever you go, women are safety based, and men are competition-based. Women put up walls, and men try and fail to get through the walls. We live in a culture that judges males, and women buy into this. When you are judging, you are not going to connect. So women are successful in keeping out the jerks, but they keep out the good men at the same time. Women need to realize, the horny guy and the good guy are the same guy! So don't judge him!
Video of Daniel Packard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_iDHmrBylk | |
|
shimbo
|
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 370 | |
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:37:19 AM |
so what do these men do for sex??
Masturbate?
FWB?
Hookers?
Sheep?
don't they miss it?
Not as much as you think, baby.
Most of the time it just wasn't that good. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:12:43 AM |
'Cowardess' would be a female coward if such a word existed.
I like it. It’s a good word to use for women that are in a good relationship, and then leave that relationship because they want more butterflies in their stomach, and is scared to try and make the current relationship better. Yep, she would be a cowardess. Terminology is not my strongpoint; neither is spelling, sorry about that.
So what do these men do for sex?? don't they miss it?
Nothing and Yes, a lot.
I do wish you luck, love and happiness.
Thank you, and to you also. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:38:15 AM | i must pose the question about your dinner party...please forgive me if i'm misguided, however it did occur to me that most straight guys who are seeking a mate would at least have a few women at the table, and definitely lose the priest who has nothing to contribute in the area of heterosexual relationships as he is CELIBATE. If you want to CELIBATE, have dinner parties with guys and priests and sit around ****ing about women. If you don't, have dinner parties with women present and lose the clergy.
just a thought.
respectfully - sue | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:10:07 AM | I'll just say- I was 'one of those guys'- The reasons I went through that celibacy period were complex and too personal to get into here- but I'll just say it was truly one of the biggest mistakes of my life-And I regret it so much. I truly had my head up my *****-
But perhaps I just had some growing to do and that's maybe the only positive-
Arguably , The Meaning Of Life is sex and love (Freud said 'love and work') - Being with that special person is truly life's penultimate experience-
I'm not with anyone special right at this moment in my life- and absolutely - dating is an experience that can bring all of us into contact with the absolute worst in human nature-( I could sit here and do a 'pity party' abt my horror stories) but that's price you pay for eventually getting to be with that special someone(s)- Stop expecting perfection from the human race, you're not going to find it
- Go read Cervantes' Don Quixote- or Faulkner or Shakespeare.
Sitting at home 'happy with yourself' is just a denial and self mutilation- Do that when you're 80. Not 40.
Thus endeth the sermon. | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:03:42 AM |
(curveyone) so what do these men do for sex?? don't they miss it? i mean if they are normal and healthy i would assume they do. i know i miss it like hell when i'm not in a relationship. not only sex but also affection, it's so nice to just hold someone and kiss someone passionately.
There comes a time when you reach the Point of Diminishing Returns: the pay-off, however enjoyable, is just not worth the effort you have to invest in order to get it.
Arlo | |
|
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:38:57 AM | keyz guy369 - you make very good points in your posts actually in the context of your experiences. I don't perceive anger "issues" but you certainly have earned the right to be angry in the context of your experiences, and to heck with what anyone thinks about it. Anger is a normal emotional response when someone rapes your trust and the legal system compounds it. It's also part of the healing process.
However, JMO, even anger must have its resolution so one is not so reactive.
There are women vultures out there just as there are male leaches. Then there are the "keepers" as well. May you someday find a "keeper" and recognize her when you do find her.
On the wicca/witchcraft element, oh absolutely I concur it exists and I absolutely agree with your position that both white and black magic are control mechanisms. The occult has been around for centuries.
Many other people have posted a similar thoughts but
because they are more eloquent in their writing ability
they are dealt with differently..
Welcome to the world where people generally take issue with "different" rather than embrace "different". You are actually quite eloquent in your writing ability so don't sweat the small stuff. Seriously.
 | |
|
|
| Page 15 of 21
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 |
|
Home
login 
