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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:47:39 AM | As you said, they're all professionals with fairly significant jobs. Jobs like that come first pretty much always, so a real strong marriage is hard to balance with careers like that.
just my $.02 | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:58:35 AM |
There comes a time when you reach the Point of Diminishing Returns: the pay-off, however enjoyable, is just not worth the effort you have to invest in order to get it.
Yeah Arlo, I've had occasion to think "sheesh that wasn't worth the effort it took to take off my clothes"
LOL@me | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:10:44 AM | (Arlo) There comes a time when you reach the Point of Diminishing Returns: the pay-off, however enjoyable, is just not worth the effort you have to invest in order to get it.
(ItsMargo) Yeah Arlo, I've had occasion to think "sheesh that wasn't worth the effort it took to take off my clothes"
LOL@me
Geezus. If you reach that point, it ceases to be a "social" phenomenon, and becomes a medical issue; as in, if you stress getting in the au naturel for a lively bout of slap-and-tickle, you should check if you still have a pulse... 
Arlo | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:34:49 AM | i don't find it sad or pathetic that people can be happy on their own
i DO find it sad that what could be a great thread with mature discussion becomes a place for people to be mean to one another
love the forums....hate when the threads become a place for people to relatively anonymously spout venom and ugliness to others
don't mean to sound holier than thou here, i am not........but why does it seem like these threads almost always degenerate to this, or get way off-topic?? | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:42:50 AM | | Why are you basing your facts on only 7 brands /titles ie CEOS,PHDS ,Preists...why have you left out the billions who do not have dollar in their pockets or live in homeless shelters or farmers who make their living by instict and hard labor or the jobless men...or teenagers that are looking for their first love.No wonder the ceos are too lost ...please give us back our humanity it is not perfect but its the only thing that make us who we are.The little voice of hope that says she is out there or he is out ther and imgonna strike lucky if i keep on looking. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:54:26 AM | linkstoo, your observation that the OP was looking at only certain populations is quite true and valid; but i don't believe the OP was looking to leave folks out, just going by his own observations and experiences, as you are going by yours
we live in society where "coupledom" is considered the norm, though statistically the pendulum is starting to swing in a direction where couples may not long remain in the majority
i see nothing wrong with being comfortable, happy, and content with being on one's own. should people who have not found a mate walk around putting their lives on hold until they find someone? i think not. its great to be looking for your soulmate.......or at least hoping you bump into him or her sooner rather than later. there's a difference between that and not living life until that happens
so those that live a full life in the meantime may come to the conclusion that they like their life just as it is..........they are as entitled to that conclusion as those who find their life mate and decide they like their relationship just as it is
neither is right or wrong............ultimately, the hope is that those who wish to find someone do, and those that do not find someone, or do not wish to find someone, are happy | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:15:04 AM |
neither is right or wrong............ultimately, the hope is that those who wish to find someone do, and those that do not find someone, or do not wish to find someone, are happy
Very nicely said. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:19:52 AM | beadonna....great post, I totally agree. I am a believer in live and let live - I don't understand why some people want others to think and live as they do, and if not try and make them wrong.
Life's about being who you are, and allowing others to be who they are - as long as no one's deliberately trying to hurt someone else, what's the big deal? | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:08:32 AM | This is for all of the men who are not content with their prospects for a relationship here: Don't give up.
Forget about American women and hop on a plane to the Philippines. Whether you choose to stay and live there or return, you will find a lovely , feminine, devoted and happy woman to share your life with. Do a Google search about living/ dating in the Philippines and have a look . I have a couple of friends who have gone this route and they are in happy relationships with beautiful loving women.
Again, I posted this for the MEN who have surveyed the dating /relationship landscape here and want something better.....it's out there. Check it out.
I realize that by posting this I am now just here for the forums! lol | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:51:03 AM | | go to the Phillipines to find a woman? well that is one of the dumbest posts i've ever read!! i work with several Filipino women and they are not my favorite people. most of them are shallow, money hungry and just plain stupid. they are not exactly the brightest people in the world. all they do is gossip constantly and they are always eating too, at least the ones that i've worked with. and of course there is their shoe penchant, they all own over 100 pairs and i'm not joking. yes i can see how they would make a good wife. they were all born over there and came here so that should tell you something. although to be honest, i also work with a Filipino guy but he's NOTHING like the women. he was born here though so that might be why. | |
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shimbo
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 387 | |
| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:54:13 AM |
are not exactly the brightest people in the world. all they do is gossip constantly and they are always eating too,
Damn.
I guess the Phillipines have been Americanized, too.
There's still India & China, though.
One billion choices can't be bad. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:55:12 AM |
neither is right or wrong............ultimately, the hope is that those who wish to find someone do, and those that do not find someone, or do not wish to find someone, are happy
Quite right beadonna, just as it's not right or wrong for posters to have their little spat in the thread or just post something inane of off topic for the helluvit. We can choose what we want to read, and choose not to be irritated by stuff. Threads are never linear, they meander all over the shop, and that's part of their charm I think.
Back to the main topic...
Sitting at home 'happy with yourself' is just a denial and self mutilation- Do that when you're 80. Not 40.
Maybe, but who's 'sitting a home...' - I'm out in the big world both mentally and physically playing and having fun, and I know tons of singles doing the same. I not sittin at home being miserable about being alone. Being in control of a need and denial are two sides of the same coin. Acknowledging a need, while not being ruled by it, is not denial or self-mutilation, IMO, it's part of being an adult.
Alone is not natural.
Sitting in front of a computer typing on a keyboard is 'not natural' - hell most of modern life is 'not natural', if by 'natural' you are referring to things we are programmed for by our genes. If there's one thing that defines us as human, it's that we are not powerless victims of our genetic programming, that we can transgress our programing and what is 'natural'. It might be 'natural' for me to go into a murderous rage when someone crosses me - there's good evidence and reasoning to say that that's our survival programming at work, that that's a 'natural' response.
Just like wanting to fvck anything in a skirt is 'natural' when we're hormone driven teenagers. Just like wanting to stuff our face with food until we're obese is 'natural' because back when we were evolving food was hard to come by.
Which brings me on to
I have noticed that older men seem to be doing that. I really don't see many younger guys doing it. I really don't date anymore cause it seems that most of the guys that I talk to just want sex and that is really discouraging. I am not opposed to finding the right one, however I am not actively looking. Just tired of all the B.S. I guess.
Well, you're so close there, can't you connect the dots?! Of course (most) younger guys aren't abstaining from sex/relationships. Most (not all) of them are victims of their hormones and peer pressure (just as I was). If they were to declare they were happy 'alone' then how quickly would their peers jump on them and say they were gay (we've even seen this pathetic conclusion from so-called adults in this thread)? For young men (speaking from my experience), their whole identity as a man is tied up with getting validation from scoring with women, and they'll do anything, literally, to get some.
Now, for myself, and probably the guys the OP's referring to, I could give a hoot if someone thinks I'm gay. My self-image doesn't need to be bolstered by adding another notch to the bed-post. Been there, done that.
So, now that those immature motivations have been laid to rest, now that we've evolved to a state where we're no longer driven by our 'little head', we can get our head out of our pants and see what a fantastic and fullfilling place the world is, even when we're 'alone' and not 'getting any'.
And (unlike young/old horn-dogs) we're not willing to do anything, jump through multiple hoops, for the mere sniff of a chance of getting laid. This is often misinterpreted, I believe, by many women as lack of interest, or 'he's just not that into you'. Au-contraire, it means he doesn't 'need' you, it means he doesn't want you to the exclusion of all else. It means your 'sexual power' doesn't work on him - and I think some women find that threatening.
But, if we can get past all that crap, for myself I think a deeper and more human connection is achievable, and that's why I'm still in the game, as it were. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:09:07 AM | | Arlo, NOT every woman has over 100 pairs of shoes. if you think so, then you are stereotyping. i actually have a few woman friends who HATE shopping!! yes, can you believe that? seems they are missing the shopping gene. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:13:54 AM | (curveyone) Arlo, NOT every woman has over 100 pairs of shoes. if you think so, then you are stereotyping.
Gol-dang-it!
You just broke my irony-meter! "Stereotyping"... would that be like, say, saying that seeking a bride from the Phillipines is a "dumb" idea because the few you work with are not the nicest people?
BTW, if you're referring to a woman from the Phillipenes, the proper term is FilipinA, not FilipinO.
You're welcome.
Arlo | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:26:56 AM |
yes i can see how they would make a good wife. they were all born over there and came here so that should tell you something.
Yes, they most likely would become Americanized, but, he did mention moving to the Philippines. If I met a woman from another country, I would most likely want to move there, because an Americanized woman is hell to deal with. I have worked with men that had Pilipino wives that are now living in the states, look out, they know how to go off and it hurts the ears.
This is often misinterpreted, I believe, by many women as lack of interest, or 'he's just not that into you'.
Truth in that one. I see it all the time, if a woman doesn’t get the instant goo-goo-headgonedumb from a man then she thinks that he is not interested. Especially younger women. So much with the ‘I want him to like me as a person’. Ha haha Where is the person when all she presents is a meat-ona-platter offering. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:35:30 AM | i work with several Filipino women and they are not my favorite people. most of them are shallow, money hungry and just plain stupid. they are not exactly the brightest people in the world. all they do is gossip constantly and they are always eating too
Curveyone, Hmm..how do I put this delicately....from looking at your pics I'd really have to say that you commenting about Filipinas eating all of the time is really a case of the pot calling the kettle black, as you look quite a bit overweight and probably don't miss many meals.
Your profile has a angry tone to it...you,re pissed because guys who looked at you don't answer your emails. Just a hint...they looked and didn't like what they saw, that's why they didn't contact you.
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:38:21 AM |
go to the Phillipines to find a woman? well that is one of the dumbest posts i've ever read!! LOL... Oh really... why would that be one of the dumbest?? Because maybe it would be taking away from your potential dating pool?? Phillipines, Russia, Ukraine... There is a world of possiblities...
i work with several Filipino women and they are not my favorite people. So, are you trying to date any of them?? If not.. maybe you should leave that up to the menfolk.
most of them are shallow, money hungry and just plain stupid. they are not exactly the brightest people in the world. And you are??
all they do is gossip constantly and they are always eating too, at least the ones that i've worked with. LOL... You do NOT look like you have missed too many lunches there ... Im sure you are aware of the saying, people in glass houses...
and of course there is their shoe penchant, they all own over 100 pairs and i'm not joking. Maybe you are not joking, but you are stereotyping... Something I think you admonish in a later post..
yes i can see how they would make a good wife. they were all born over there and came here so that should tell you something. Yeah, its called immigration. Look it up.
although to be honest, i also work with a Filipino guy but he's NOTHING like the women. he was born here though so that might be why. So date him...
Sounds to me like you are one jealous woman. Bitter to boot!
Arlo, NOT every woman has over 100 pairs of shoes. if you think so, then you are stereotyping. i actually have a few woman friends who HATE shopping!! yes, can you believe that? seems they are missing the shopping gene. Yeah, umm you cant have it both ways... dont go telling Arlo how badly he is stereotyping, when you do the EXACT same thing. I have several friends who are Filipino.. Have dated a few too.. But no, really... keep on posting, because apparently an American woman like yourself just has so much more to offer.... | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:42:09 AM |
Not exactly. You might be surprised. That's one reason I was really sad when I was reading the OP's post. It's not so easy for women.
Even still, on average, women have it vastly better than men when it comes to dating options. Maybe not easy, but easier. Yes, exactly. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:00:28 PM | (quote)
I am not spoiled, I am not angry, I am scared. I am scared to fall in love with a woman and one day find out that she is/was a tramp. I want a woman that I can respect, and I would lose that instantly. Could you imagine falling in love with a woman, being in love with her, and not wanting her at the same time? That would be inhumane torture, and I don’t want that. (quote)
Translation, this was brilliant and right on the mark. It made something clear for me. Thanks for posting it. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:01:19 PM | part of what I have found is I think that most of us both men and women hit the 40's and decided
not to just settle for anything maybe we have had past relationships that dealt with depression or some
type of malfunction as we see it and won't go there again. I too am starting to give a darn less and less
about finding someone in part that what I'm seeing in women is the expectations are too high and the same
probly could be said for some men . But it can be disapointing when it seem as if we are car shopping
so why shop at all when we don't need a new car?   | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:12:31 PM |
It means your 'sexual power' doesn't work on him - and I think some women find that threatening.
That IS one of the interesting things that I've noticed since I can't be bothered going out of my way to find a woman. Some really are taken aback by a man who has no interest in 'chasing' them. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:30:36 PM | | If you can be happy buying one ticket and going places solo, then more power to you. After you have had a taste of having someone to go and do things with, then flying solo is hard to do. If I ever get to the point that I want to get off the dating merry-go-round, then would have to make the best of flying solo. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:49:32 PM | | talldog - judge much? how come you don't have a photo?? and just for the record, i have 5 men who want to meet me at the moment. i admit that i'm FAT, there does that make you happy? i said i'm a BBW and yes i LOVE to eat, that's all i do all day, sit here and shovel food into my fat face. if you're so athletic and good looking then prove and post a pic!!! at least i'm not hiding anything. | |
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