| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:16:05 PM |
I've never understood why women have to proclaim how independent they are , who the **** cares , I don't think I've ever heard a man say that , ever.
i'm thinking maybe it has something to do with the fact that until about 60 years ago (when the male population was in Europe fighting WWII) was the first time that women were widely accepted in the workplace to do something other than nurse or teach, and that the "average" woman was thoroughly expected to be completely dependent financially on her husband while she stayed home raising the children and having little true choice in the matter
that wasn't so long ago......... | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:16:32 PM | | Yeah I'd rather be alone than accept the new FWB relationships and being potrayed as so normal.....I don't consider it normal...I will not allow a man to use me for sex...I don't need sex so desperately that I will settle for that...I've also been brainwashed by some into making me think it was so normal. I do come from a Christian upbringing. Eve was created to be Adam's companion not to be his FWB in the garden. This lil POF lady is not fooled by society's new ideas that are being played off as so "normal"...if these trends continue it will be the end of the normal family unit as we know it...the future generation of kids will never know the secure family life of having a mother and father that love one another and love them as well....I will have no part of encouraging this idea for the sake of the next generation of kids....I will be able to look the kids in the eyes when I get old and know I did not encourage this change in society... | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:18:17 PM |
if these trends continue it will be the end of the normal family unit as we know it...the future generation of kids will never know the secure family life of having a mother and father that love one another and love them as well
all due respect, and sad to say, but i think the deterioration of the "normal family unit as we know it" has been in trouble for quite some time now, and having little do with people not dating or looking for a partner (which was, if i recall, the original topic here :-) , but probably more to do with the very opposite; by that i mean, people who fly from one relationship to the next, regardless of effects on their children from previous relationships
i know of a family with 5 different last names living under the same roof...........great hard working people, don't get me wrong.......but i think these situations, and the way they come to be, is more of a threat to the American family than the existence of a somewhat growing number of folks who have built a satisfying life for themselves, by themselves
as always, jmho | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:14:17 PM | WOW! I've read thru this post and this has taken on a life of its own with comments leading in all different directions, arguements, statements, opinions.
But to get back to the original post are men leaning toward the trend of celibacy, leaving dating behind to be happier people?
No human being, male or female, needs a mate to be happy, successful or feel fulfilled but it does help you get thru the lonely nights. Love and touch are basic needs of human beings as well as feelings of happiness and fulfillment.
I find it totally ironic that a thread of this sort has been posted on a DATING SITE..why the hell are you here if not to date or find someone? Deep down I think its the hope of everyone on here is it not? Finding friendship is lovely but is that your original hope in coming on here?
Cut your ties here then..delete your profile and go be a happier person!!!
BTW Happy 4th of July to all you Americans out there..from a Canadian. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:04:12 PM | | Pleas........e marry me Rite now !!!! all that bread im soo giddy with love for you. In response to whatever 369 | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:26:54 PM | | Curveyone i believe that you are masquerading and you have posted a picture of someone else ...otherwise if yuo are the face in the picture then i will not be visiting this thread ever again incase i become more traumatised than i am already by it.IM sure you are getting the attention that you so desperately needed and i suspect you are hurting soo much that you are begging for more pain from strangers.Please take the first step of healing yourself by taking baby steps and say to yourself that you are strong and inside that chamber of toture that you call a heart that you gonna burn it down and make a garden of tulips and violets where the chamber once stood. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:40:54 PM | The points I have made in previous post are very related to what OP is wanting to discuss. I believe the OP mentionied some people that had chosen not to date, and I was making the point that there have been times I haven't dated b/c you can't hardly find anyone that wants a regular relationship out there. You can find alot that want to have freinds with benefits relationship...then I proceeded to tell my reasons why I don't believe in encouraging FWB...this discussion is very related to the OP topic of people who choose not to date.
And yes the family unit has deteriorated, but at least some were making an attempt at loving one another before it disintegrated.....how will the future generation of kids feel to know their parents just "hooked up" and there was not love between them....That is my reasons for not choosing to date sometimes...very on target to what OP was discussing....Did I link it together for u well enough? | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:52:56 PM | quote from beadonna--->"the deterioration of the "normal family unit as we know it" has been in trouble for quite some time now, and having little do with people not dating or looking for a partner"
I must state that I've known guys in my life that admitted they had watched other divorced families and admitted that it made impact on them deciding about relationships or dating altogether....there are definitly those out there that will make decisions about whether or not to date based on the chaos they see in others lives....I know b/c I've talked to some men that have flat out said this to me...So I don't see how you can make the above statement with such certainty...that doesn't make sense to me at all. There are many reasons why people would choose not to date. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:18:21 AM | Captino Blaugh- I stand corrected- yes it was started back in May- I was going by the dude's 'join date'=
And yes Happy 1st to you- Canadian Cousin- and that's not far from the truth- since many relatives on my father's side came from Prince Edward Island- (I'm pretty much Irish from way back)-
The best way to meet Canadians is to go to Scotland because at any given time, half of Canada is there 'looking up the relatives'
re kicking America's ass- well the Vietnamese did that as well-
But having said all that- this is still a silly whiny thread- as are most of the threads-But that's the fun, right? Cheers | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:01:31 AM |
well the Vietnamese did that as well-
But having said all that- this is still a silly whiny thread- as are most of the threads-But that's the fun, right? Cheers
Oh, yeah..... I forgot about those guys. OK, we were the FIRST to kick American butts....
And, yeah, there is a lot of BS in the fora, but it's entertaining at least.
Cheers to you too. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:03:55 AM |
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." Mark Twain
So very true. Here's the irony - the reverse is true as well. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:28:26 PM |
But to get back to the original post are men leaning toward the trend of celibacy, leaving dating behind to be happier people?
Happy? I find it strange that a lot of people look at it as Happy or Not Happy. I really do not like today’s psychology, and yes, I took a couple of the classes and am not smitten with it.
I am fine and dandy. Alone is not natural, but necessary to me. I gain strength from it. I have a strong desire to not be unhappy, if that works for you. I see that most women that might be interested in, after getting to know them a bit, would make me unhappy.
And btw, for the psycho analyzing dictator type women who think they know it all and feel a certain prowess in correcting men, when I say ‘would make me unhappy’, I am not relieving control of my own choices, actions, or self determination; I am not very big on the external locus of control. It is a simple way of saying that many women are a royal pain in the ass to deal with on a daily basis.
Another disclaimer, for those same anal types: I did say ‘many’ women, not all, and not majority, so bugger off while I continue to be not unhappy.
sheesh | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:13:22 PM | Msg. 513 - I love it.
Sounds like you take responsibility for your own happiness which is where it belongs anyway. The rest (relationships overall) is like having ice cream with one's cake or whipped cream on the chocolate mousse. The dessert is great on it's own but so much better with that extra topping.
Quite frankly, offering a woman's perspective on the topic, I can't blame some of the men for not making dating and relationship a top priority in their lives and enjoyment of other things a greater priority. Some of the attitudes can hardly be attractive no matter how pretty the outside package appears to be. I can't thing of anyone (male or female) short of the extremist would or could find any enjoyment in being controlled, dictated to, leached from and so on.
JMHO | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/5/2008 2:44:55 PM | translation: You have used one of the lines from my comment to start your comment.
What I have done is quote what the OP posted..that men he knows have made a choice not to date and became much happier people when focusing on themselves and what makes them happy as individuals.
Everyone needs that time to themselves to figure out what makes them happy as individuals..if you're not happy with yourself you certainly won't be happy in a relationship.
But to put it on a post and have men respond to it making comments that they choose not to date is a little strange on a dating site..If you (you meaning in general) are choosing not to date then why put up a profile on a dating site? Do you see the irony in that at all?
This is just another one of those great things that happen on dating sites..everyone interprets the written word the way in which THEY perceive it. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:00:41 PM |
translation: You have used one of the lines from my comment to start your comment.
Yes I did, thank you.
If you (you meaning in general) are choosing not to date then why put up a profile on a dating site? Do you see the irony in that at all?
No irony at all. I don’t care who the person is, if that person met someone that meshed well with them, they would not stay alone.
My comment was to point out that people are stuck on the though of happiness. Where my point was that relationships often create unhappiness. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:21:48 PM | exactly translation..a person won't stay alone if they find that "someone" , hense, we are on a dating site...theres the irony!!
Believe me..thru experience of "finding myself" over a 5 yr period you don't need someone from the opposite sex to make you happy nor should you think thats what will make you happy.
But lonely long nights will be what takes you to things like say...a dating site!!!
I wish you all the best. Because I do believe there is someone for everyone and maybe it takes a lifetime to find the "one" but it would be worth it in the end..no?
I'm a believer that not every relationship has to end in unhappiness.
Let me spread a little pixie dust on you guy!!!.............................................. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:38:32 PM |
Because I do believe there is someone for everyone and maybe it takes a lifetime to find the "one" but it would be worth it in the end..no?
Oh yeah, that would be great, there I am on my death bed and in walks a sexy nurse, the one, and then beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Very well worth it. Ha haha. Or maybe not. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:09:22 PM | This thread has taken so many twists, I'm not sure what the original post was about...
Oh yeah, a bunch of old guys giving up on dating and pretenting to be ok with their newly accepted solitude...
This might be a good post to advertise my new PlentyofFish Spawning Tour group...
First stop may be the Phillipines...
Any takers?
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/6/2008 2:46:58 PM | I am not having much luck on here. I don't think it is the site, I am not sure how serious the dating thing is? I met my ex down the road from where I lived 17 yrs ago maybe I should go back to that route! Is anybody else having better luck? Any advice? | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:20:54 PM | | I had to think about this for awhile before I answered...but yes, I do think that what "aprincelyfrog" observed is new...say within the last 10 years or so. Men have become confused by what it means to be "a man". I think that women, in general (not all) have, through their desire for independence, emasculated men and "defeminized" themselves. Sex and intimacy are certainly important to men but may become less important as we age ...men are learning that we don't need a relationship to be happy with ourselves (something that women have professed to practice for some time - starting about 10 years or so). "What Women Want" has changed from looking for a strong man who takes care of his family to looking for someone who meets all their needs and "get's them". Men, frankly, are forced to look elsewhere for "fulfillment" as women, as a whole, are not meeting their needs (yes, I know-women have the same problem with men). The change in family values has taken it toll and I agree with what many of the female posters have said about this being a sad state of affairs...but we have done it to ourselves (men and women should share the guilt). I have no problem remaining on a "dating" site even though I share the OP's observations...life is always in flux and I can always hope that WE (men and women) will come to our senses and return to a time when men were men and women were creatures to be adored, pampered and truly loved as our companions and not our "equals". | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:20:39 PM | ok translation but for that ultimate moment you have connected with someone on a very deep emotional level and she understands all there is about you.....you can then die a peaceful man!!
ok..time for me to get out of la-la land...going back to the real world now..time to do the dishes, listen to some tunes. Nice chatting with you translation. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:33:14 PM |
Men, frankly, are forced to look elsewhere for "fulfillment" as women, as a whole, are not meeting their needs.
Needs? What needs? Are we not supposed to need anything? Aha hahaha. Damned female dribble. Nice quote and to the point, I like it.
ok translation but for that ultimate moment you have connected with someone on a very deep emotional level and she understands all there is about you.....you can then die a peaceful man!!
I don’t need a woman in order to die a peaceful man; I am already a peaceful man. A good sentiment; even though it does take a very long time for one person to understand another in order to get to that deep emotional level. I don’t meet very many women that are even capable of that. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 7/15/2008 2:18:59 PM |
(capitano blaugh) Oh, yeah..... I forgot about those guys (the Vietnamese). OK, we were the FIRST to kick American butts....
Okay, we were the ONLY ones to invade their territory and burn their capital building.
And we did it all without achieving air superiority!
Arlo  | |
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