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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:09:54 AM |
I don't have any answers for anyone, however - for me - I will just keep on plugging away at it for now. I used to be more 'into it', however the last few years certainly has seen a reduced level of enthusiasm for all of this on my part.
Yes, Steve, I think I'm kind of at that level too.
I'm at the level where I ask a woman out, and she throws all these smoke screens at me, blows me off, etc...I just make 2 attempts, and if she is still doing it...I move on.
I have asked women out for a basic lunch, and it's like pulling teeth.  | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:19:43 AM | It's very sad, yet very true on BOTH sides of the fence.
I myself have taken SEVERAL sabaticles in regards to dating. I've been single now for over three years. In those three years (and utilizing online sites such as this one to actually MEET people) I've been VERY dissappointed in the "prospects" I've found. Several examples: One guy claimed to be an attorney. Well, he HAD gone to law school and gotten a law DEGREE, but he also had a drug charge and therefore COULDn't actually PRACTICE law....I can't COUNT the married men that have asked and taken me out only to find out later their claim to singledom was actually a complete FARSE....some say they are taller..... some post pictures so old I couldn't even recognize them when we DID meet.........shall I go on????
Relationships are tricky even when BOTH parties ARE honest and upfront. Men and women are GEARED differently, have different needs, have different WANTS....If you read my profile it is indepth and sincerely WHO I AM and WHAT I WANT. Still, it lends itself to men being dishonest about THEIR wants and needs. I think if BOTH sexes were honest, they would realize that the Universe DESIGNED a true relationship to actually BE that support and that "best" friendship you speak of in your thread. So WHY not want it? After so many liars, cheaters, and thieves in the night, you NEED a break to rebuild one's possitive and hopeful outlook on life and relationships. I understand the sabaticle stance these men are CHOOSING to take. It's an intelligent and self maintaining stance.....I, for one, agree....when you've had enough. STOP> reassess> WAIT>
I wish you'd throw some of these gentlemen MY way.....I think it would be refreshing to experience a REAL man for a change! And while I pride myself on being interdependent, I PREFER for a man to open my doors and pull out my chairs. I think it is a sign of respect and reference towards my femininity....And Yes, I AM searching for my BEST FRIEND, LOVER, and confidant to grow old with.....
THANK YOU for the post....very enlightening. Have a beautiful day! | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:22:38 AM | OMG - now I am shocked - pushing aside the feeling that the 'Old Boys Network' is rearing its ugly head on the internet now, which is quite scary.
One man says: she makes one mistake and she is gone, ignored! Blimey you must be one perfect man to expect such perfection from others.
Nothing wrong with having friends, but basic nature teaches us - pairing off is natural, normal, acceptable.
I can see why people are jaded with dating - fed up with being lied to, taken out on show for coffee meets and rejected for a date.
Why I dont want to get married or live with a man again - its quite simple:
1. Hate shopping and carrying it home, packing it away, and then cooking countless meals and never getting a thank you.
2. It is so quick to do my laundry every day, instead of hours and hours of washing and ironing.
3. I love sleeping in the middle of my little girlie bed, and using the bathroom when I want.
4. It is nice not to be told off for countless things including breathing.
5. I dont have to keep quiet while a man sleeps off a hang over.
6. Can get up at first light and get on with my day without having to creep about.
BUT I do want a man in my life, someone to share the good times, the dinner parties, the walks in the country, someone to talk about what your reading with, to look at my photographs and give an honest reply (not just yeah ok), someone who does not feint when you ask them to hold onto something for me while I work, someone who cleans up after themselves, (now that would be a find going too far me thinks). Someone I can ring up any time and they are not in a moody - someone who I can invite out and he wont start talking about the bill when I pick him up.
I JUST WANT A NORMAL MAN WITH NO BAGGAGE - like the men in the OP. Because every new person you meet is a person in their own right, they are not your ex, or your sister, or someone else's problem, they are the person who caught your eye. THINK THAT WAS A BIT OF A VENT THERE - SORRY  | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:38:45 AM | I don't believe a man can "fill the void created by the lack of a woman" with anything other than a woman, at least, not for long. I do believe that a man that has such a void will eventually come back around to a woman and a man that doesn't particularly have such a void will be okay on this path. We're individuals...some have less of a desire for a romantic partnering, some have more. If what you naturally desire is a romantic partnering but have failed and "given up", trying to squash that out by filling that void with as much stuff as you can shove into it will not change your natural desire.
Being that I'm a "make lemonade out of your lemons" kind of person, I think what these men are doing is good and healthy, as long as they keep it good and healthy! Since I think a man that naturally desires a relationship will still naturally desire a relationship, should he happen to encounter the potential for one, I'm hoping he'll be able to scoot over and make a lil room for it, vs. trying to take a stand against it, just for the sake of taking a stand against it. You don't need to play Tarzan and pound your chest for a woman that's into you just as you are.
Reading over this, I'm reminded that the only times I've ever felt I was "giving in, giving up too much, trying too hard, losing out" were times when I was with the wrong person. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:43:05 AM | Zeebra, I agree with you it is Sad, if that was the case but not the case! The OP states these guys are highly educated, all most likely thinkers, not always good in the date area. That does not make them that smart! I for one love the smell of a women, the feel of a women and taste of a women and everything that goes with women. Yes it can be hard to date women but the good out weights the bad and we are design to be with women and I have found women in my age group to be very willing to stay in the dating pool! It is not a phenomenon in midwest! Thank goodness!  | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:55:45 AM | "fill the void created by the lack of a woman"
I date. Sometimes a LOT sometimes not so much. There have been times in my younger years when I would date 4 or 5 women a week and times in my current years where I have gone long periods without a date.
At no point in my life have I ever experienced a "void created by the lack of a woman" as to do so would imply that I am not whole without another to complete me.
I think its more the female that requires the deep emotional bond of a relationship with the opposite sex and I believe men, especially as we get older, can gain all the fulfillment we/they need via a system of "other types" of relationships.
When I do my charity work I get a certain sense of emotional fulfillment, I get a different but equally satisfying fulfillment from my jpb, my kids, my hobbies, spending time with my friends, traveling etc. When I add it all up, I dont feel a void or lack anything that another person would be required to give me for me to be happy.
I still like to date but not because of a void but because I want to find someone where two wholes make something much greater than two halves trying to make a whole. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:23:12 AM |
I think its more the female that requires the deep emotional bond of a relationship with the opposite sex and I believe men, especially as we get older, can gain all the fulfillment we/they need via a system of "other types" of relationships.
Sure, it'd be pretty efficient and productive--and lots of other great adjectives-- if we could put all our needs, desires, people, and emotions into lil slots/categories/systems, and then yank them off the shelf, dependent on the void of the moment! Today it's the gym and Nurse Betty, tomorrow is the local garden tour, then it's date day, Wednesday is the soup kitchen, Thursday is Guy Day, this weekend is the strip club and rock climbing...
Oh, wait....
I still like to date but not because of a void but because I want to find someone where two wholes make something much greater than two halves trying to make a whole.
Awesome!
Kinda like that "deep emotional bond of a relationship" you were referring to that women require? | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:30:48 AM |
When I do my charity work I get a certain sense of emotional fulfillment, I get a different but equally satisfying fulfillment from my jpb, my kids, my hobbies, spending time with my friends, traveling etc. When I add it all up, I dont feel a void or lack anything that another person would be required to give me for me to be happy.
I have found this too. Keeping busy and active in life with job, hobbies and interests can be a fulfilling life.
I've met a lot of men like this, so the women that say they are looking for these types of men shouldn't have much problem finding them. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:58:11 AM | I've met a lot of men like this, so the women that say they are looking for these types of men shouldn't have much problem finding them.
well, that's if women cared to think. men are out there exclaiming "look at the guys you've dated before and you keep throwing yourself at the same type of guy. can't you even see what I am?"
women have a huge blindspot for what's good for them. as i note in my profile, women are drawn to the peacocks. a woman sees a man on stage in a club and she desires him, if he's a fireman, doctor, lawyer, anything with a perceived notion dictated by society as wonderful, she follows. A man that is viewed by other women is attractive in her eyes, and if the guy has a swarm of other women around the even more her desire goes up. You add all the bad traits, such as if the guy is a drug-dealer, gangster or whatever as you see those guys have no short supply of their posse around them, you have to wonder how women actually think. they could ask more of themselves and of the men they want, but those things they want are typically related to money or some other flimsy characteristic of a man and not those things that really do matter in a relationship like the guy being communicative, caring, sharing, not abusive, etc. but her screening could be "attorney, really tall, football player, green eyes, has tattoos, rides a Harley, has a chinbeard, is a pisces, plays a musical instrument, etc, and none of these have any great role in a wholesome relationship. women can complain about men wanting a woman to not be fat...that is a malody that is so easily correctable and is very much related to activities within a relationship.
we could close the gap, but it's more in the woman's side of the court if she wants to do that or go guy to guy and keep encountering the same type of abuser or guy who isn't sincere...oh what's the use, they never listen, just like they never listen to their moms for they want to do whatever it is that is against what's good for them... | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:03:27 AM | First of all, I love women. I love how they smell and how they make you feel.
I think the only area where I would agree with these men is that you first have to find your own path, a path that is not driven by the pursuit of women, or wanting to date or anything like that, but a path that helps you define you as a man.
I think what happens with many people, and I think they tend to be rather intelligent people is that they start avoiding their own emotions and prefer to live without passion in a state of pain-avoidance. A lot of women also do this. That does not mean that you have to have a woman to complete you, or for a woman to have a man. But that the area called relationships requires work. Tons of work. And the problem I see is that in modern relationships there are a lot of preconceive notions of what they should be, instead of trying to re-invent them into something new.
Being in a relationship is scary. It requires that you allow yourself to be vulnerable. Yet the rewards are such that I wouldn't have it any other way. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:30:24 AM |
I think the only area where I would agree with these men is that you first have to find your own path, a path that is not driven by the pursuit of women, or wanting to date or anything like that, but a path that helps you define you as a man.
I agree with this. It's like when I tell men and women that they should never plan their lives around the idea of "having someone". More plan their lives as if they never found anyone, but write it in pencil...meaning be open to changes. So if you meet that right person, you can change those plans to more be about a "we" as opposed to a "me".
If it doesn't happen, then you can at least live a full life alone, as opposed to sitting in a chair feeling bad. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:24:06 AM | Can't say I advocate giving up on women, but I can understand your friends sentiments. I have two older male friends who will not even consider dating anymore, because the experience is just too painful for them. Not the dating itself, but having to be on the watch for so many lunatics in the dating arena.
I have no problem finding dates if I wanted them, never have really. But I have noticed an odd trend in that I have all kinds of female friends that think I am perfect relationship material, yet they continue to cling to men who they hate and despise. They talk to me because they cannot talk to their husbands or bfs, most of whom are jerks or jocks. I really rather avoid these kind of situations since it tends to lead towards weirdness and drama in life. But its not so easy when you have a big heart.
Then you get the single women with their lists of "must haves" and they are not worth the drama or weirdness either. Dating older people is all about two types of women. Either the other person looking for quick reasons to reject you instead of like you. The other option is they want friends with quality benefits and thats it. Not much to choose from. I have too much respect for others to just use these people for sex like I see a lot of other men my age doing, but it is not easy to resist. Trying to find someone who wants a long-term stable friendship and relationship without all the social expectations crap is depressing.
For those of us who do not fit the molds that women want it seems giving up and living in a world without women is the only option for happiness. But it makes for a lot of anger and bitterness in some folks. You can see it in the faces of both men and women when out at the bars. Expectations are so high that it the let down of rejection is a steep fall.
Women seem to be as frustrated as men from what I have seen, yet at the same time they tend to blame themselves when female society itself is more to blame. Some of them are thankfully learning that looks is not the big factor they thought it was for themselves. Doesnt stop them from dating with the old patterns of a 21 year old airhead however. Women who follow all unspoken rules of society as to what "the perfect man" should be are going to be even more frustrated. I really do wish more of them would chill out and dump the list of must haves. A human being is so much more then the sum of their small flaws.
A good thread however, with a few valid points that hopefully women read and absorb.
After trying - being a nice guy - and, basically, getting kicked in the crotch for doin' so numerous times by women who would think of themselves as 'nice women', a 'great catch', etc... one can not help but come away from these experiences, stop and take a long hard look at the situation and wonder why this is happening.
Had the same thing happen to me. I held a door open for a couple of women while on the way back from work in Toronto one day. It was just a polite habit. Difference in my case was I dodged the kick and got a heavy purse to the side of the head that chipped a tooth. Amazing how psychotic some people can be, especially that percentage of women who think they live by different rules then the rest of civilization..
I still hold open doors out of habit at times. I just refuse to let their behavior determine mine. Same holds true for dating. The flakes come and go out of your life, but their behavior should never be used to measure your own.
Swim Free, Swim Happy  | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:48:00 AM |
I have no problem finding dates if I wanted them, never have really. But I have noticed an odd trend in that I have all kinds of female friends that think I am perfect relationship material, yet they continue to cling to men who they hate and despise. They talk to me because they cannot talk to their husbands or bfs, most of whom are jerks or jocks. I really rather avoid these kind of situations since it tends to lead towards weirdness and drama in life. But its not so easy when you have a big heart.
I will forewarn any man out there not to do this unless they see zero attraction in said female.
The problem with women like this is that they figured they can't get 100% of what they want out of one man, so they will divide the relationship amongst two or more men. So the jerk at home gets to play the role of warm male body for sex and such, as well as carry the title of "husband" or "boyfriend", but the other guy gets to only play the role of "special friend". Special Friend basically becomes the man she's dating while the other guy gets the intimacy rewards. The girl goes out with her special friend, has the deep talks, etc.
Whenever I've seen women try to make me "special friend", I cut ties and back off. If I even see a woman whom I'm not interested in try to do this with me, I'll back off. Why? I know it sounds cold, but it's more putting the strong front on women like this that if they want the "special friend" qualities so much in a man, then they might need to let go of the "sex machine" qualities in their selected mates...or even see if "special friend" has those "sex machine" qualities.
It's more slapping them with reality to say "pick an actual good man or suffer alone with your bad choice".
Also relating to the subject, it's another reason why many men back off from dating in general. Sometimes we wonder if the woman who's coming on to us is really interested or she sees us as a "safe choice to settle on". I know this sounds royally insecure and I don't practice it, but I have seen some speak of this, the question "is she settling on me?" | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:50:49 AM | I have not seen this, but, then, I am a woman and I guess these types would be unlikely to be in my company. Avoiding temptation, so to speak.
I think a lot of times men (and women) rationalize their being alone--they can't GET women or the relationship they would hope for, so they pretend (even to themselves) it was their choice to remain single and/or celibate. (There is another thread about men who "choose" to be single. I do not for one minute believe that if these men found a fantastic woman they would "choose" to ignore her.) That being said, I have read accounts from celibate men who say they feel more content, more even-keeled, emotionally, after not having sex for years (which makes sense--their testosterone levels go down for lack of having sex). | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:54:08 AM | it happens to women too....i'm to the point i will no longer date...its either a relationship or friendship....
i hate dating and the dating game cause its just too much stress for me | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:47:38 AM |
I think what happens with many people, and I think they tend to be rather intelligent people is that they start avoiding their own emotions and prefer to live without passion in a state of pain-avoidance. A lot of women also do this. That does not mean that you have to have a woman to complete you, or for a woman to have a man. But that the area called relationships requires work. Tons of work. And the problem I see is that in modern relationships there are a lot of preconceive notions of what they should be, instead of trying to re-invent them into something new.
I could not agree more with this statement (thanks, OutMind). You expressed far better than I did the part that was making me sad. I did avoid my own emotions after a bad breakup -- for a long time -- and thought I was just fine on my own. I can only speak from my own experience, but guess what happened? I turned to food as comfort without totally realizing it and gained 20 pounds! Yes, the 20 pounds have now been lost and that's not going to happen again.
YMMV, but I don't think the best answer to disillusionment is to turn away completely. Perhaps we all need to get back to the sheer fun of dating -- I think it's fun, anyway! Even when it doesn't work out (see the other threads of Dates from Hell, etc.) it's entertaining and keeps life interesting! | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:02:13 AM |
But that the area called relationships requires work. Tons of work. And the problem I see is that in modern relationships there are a lot of preconceive notions of what they should be, instead of trying to re-invent them into something new.
I agree with this statement too. Way too many men and women expect things to be so instantaneous, as opposed to taking time. Everyone wants to find their true love after an initial meet and 10-60 min conversation at a bar. They want their hearts fluttering and hormones firing. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way realistically...and many need to wake up and realize that the next time they want to reject someone who initially comes off as "ok". All my ex-girlfriends were women who got to know me over the time and thus fell for me. Many men and women aren't skilled in making chemistry happen in 10-60 min.
BUT...in this conversation, I don't think for many men it's the problem of not working to make it a good relationship, but more many men working their tails off just to get a number, a reply back to an email, a date, etc. They meet women who are always unsure of what they want and/or thinking they can do better than the guy who is in front of them.
I'm not telling women to settle, but definitely to check and make sure they're not thinking unrealistically. If you're rejecting 99% of the men who come along, claiming you won't settle in life...then you might want to wonder if your standards are set so high that no one can fulfill them.
For men like me, we go through so much BS when it comes to getting the woman's attention, getting an opening to approach, meeting, talking, trying to get a number or date, and then even sitting there on a date while she's trying to come up in her mind with 1000 reasons to go home and never talk to us again...we just get fed up and wonder why we go through this trouble. It's why we'll even start to look at marriage and family more as a trap and a setback on an open and free lifestyle.
I remember someone on this forum saying how they didn't fear rejection, but they were sick of it. Sick of getting it so much, then hearing women complain how they can't find any decent men who will commit. So he gave up, moved on. He still has women telling him how he'd make some girl very lucky...but he'll just ask "who?" and corner them into admitting they were just being nice and that maybe modern women are too picky and thus he's not "alpha" enough for them.
Things to think about...and I come down on women more because we men are in the position where the risk is mostly on us when it comes to seeking out potential mates. Women more get to pick and choose. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:21:04 PM | You hear that all the time, about men being commitment phobic!
I think the truth is that men see what they would be getting into with
a particular woman, and opt to pass!
And maybe it's the same for women, but from a man's perspective,
it just always seems like the good ones are taken early on, then get
pregnant and divorced, often being jaded or with emotional baggage!
That's not my cup of tea! I would prefer, my own kick at the can!
Who could argue, that I don't deserve a fresh start! | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:04:04 PM | | i have many problems from my past but handle them well and so sick of dating scene that from now on all i will do is have the friendship and if that spark is there it will instantly become a relationship rather than playing the dating game | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:59:41 PM |
"At first it was all so confusing, you open the door or hold a chair for one woman and she takes your head off because she's "independent" while failure to do so for another would result in your being labeled as "rude" so I took time off to figure out and adjust my expectations."
Confusion, when I read this sentence the first word that comes to mind is confusion…Love was not meant to be a guessing game…Love is supposed to free your Being from these conditions and it does…Whatever happened to actually “asking” the woman if she wants her chair held?
If I was in that situation, I would simply ask in a polite way “can I hold your chair, my lady friend?” If she appreciates that gesture she will say “why yes, I would very much enjoy that!” if not, she will say no, and you will know where she stands on the matter…Simple, when you think of it…We all learn this as early as the toddler years; it is called Autonomy…Give the woman (or man) the autonomy of the situation, and you are both better off! You will still seem like the kind gentleman that you are, and she will feel honored all in the same breath!
The Priest acknowledged this as part of why he became a priest saying "one does not need a mate to be happy, successful and fulfilled."
I do not consider my Self religious in any way, however, I do not agree with this priest fellow…Clearly, the Scriptures state “Blessed is he who leaves his home, who leaves is mother and father to join a woman” furthermore, “Let no man destroy what the Lord has brought together,” further still “for a man and woman are not two separate people in marriage, but one flesh, one mind, one soul”
This priest was just playing on the “poor-me attitude” the whole group held that night to help everyone there feel good about themselves and I don’t agree with that… What I do agree with this statement is yes; you must be happy with your Self and love your Self before you can ever possibly think of loving someone else…
However, I don’t think he was saying that…Again, as a priest, this fellow should know this…To experience the True Love, the True Happiness, the True Fulfillment, or God, or the Universe, whatever you want to call it, you need the opposite sex to experience that…Let me explain…I am male, I hold masculine energy for the most part within my being…You who are female, hold the feminine energy for the most part within your being…When those two energies come together in Love, Compassion, Empathy, Joy, Laughter, etc., etc., what do you think happens?
When these two energies come together, they create a new energy, and that energy is in the form of your newborn baby…Any parent on this planet that has absorbed the birthing process in a spiritual way will tell you, looking into that newborn’s eyes is like looking into the face of God, or having a piece of God right there in their arms… So yes, to be truly Happy, Successful and Fulfilled, you NEED the opposite sex to experience that! Having said that, gay and lesbian couple’s play their part; transsexuals play their part…Everyone has their part to play in Love…In my opinion, it is the combining of the masculine and feminine energies that one feels the total connection of “Being Loved” or “True Fulfillment”
All of these guys are very educated and successful men and the group contained several PhD's, a CEO, a doctor, a lawyer, a couple of VP's etc. All but 1 of the 6 have been married and divorced.
Clearly, you have shown the world that Education does not equal wisdom! You could have all the intellect in the world and still be in the dark when it comes to love…Again, education does not equal wisdom, especially in matters of love, my friend…If they were wise, they would understand that their “past” experiences do not define “who they Are”…I cannot stress that enough! It is okay to learn from the past, not dwell on it… A wise person understands that if they do not agree with a past circumstance, they will wake up the next morning and change that circumstance so that it doesn’t happen again…They will change their thoughts, what they are focused on the most, and begin a new life right then and there in their minds!…
So my question is this: Has anyone else noticed this trend? Does anyone else know any guys who have built happy lives without dating and now don’t even consider dating an option? Or perhaps know a guy who in headed in that direction? Or perhaps you ARE a guy who is headed in that direction...
Yes, I have noticed this trend in all ages…Again; it comes to one word, F-E-A-R! People live in perpetual fear…Why? It’s called consumerism! People living in fear buy stuff they don’t need…People buy things to fill “voids” in their lives; they buy things to make themselves “feel better” about their love-less lives; they buy things to fit in, to look a certain way to be “socially accepted” within their own sub-divided peer groups, etc., etc… Men, who get their hearts broken, go back to their “toys” and fill the void instead of dealing with the problem head on; do the research, asking the questions, etc.
In my experience, I have yet to meet a man that does not care to have a woman in their lives…A woman to care for, to share with, to grow with, and to laugh with…Someone to have total companionship with…
In closing, I can sum up my long winded opinion with a quote from a rock’n’roll band from the ‘60’s I am sure you all know: “All you Need is Love…Love is All You Need” –The Beatles | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:08:15 PM | i myself have to wonder is this a new social phenomenon? or is it just reality? more and more men are becoming appalled with women and their crappy attitudes, their game playing, their stereotyping and their judgement.
i'd much rather...and i do...be happy living the single life than be with a crab and be miserable...and let's face it that's what the majority of women have become.....crabs. | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:33:29 PM | OP,
Watch the documentary "Men and their Dolls".
Actually, gay men and pedophiles aren't looking for women to date either.
My point is that sometimes, they are still in the closet and don't feel sharing this part of themselves is appropriate for dinner conversation with a priest.
Nuff said! | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:20:01 AM | | ummmm...im only 25 look like im 18 and enjoy my high sex drive....ooohhh im sorry, to blunt! Well i have my own theory, Einstein, we are all grouped into races and therein ethnicities with race i.e; irish, scotish, italian, japanese, chinese....ok So i can say even though because i'm pretty and young I must be undevelpoed and mentally reatarded as comapred to your cranial measurement charts, that I have a very strong connection to my own ethnicity......i lowthe men who think they can identify me based upon what they have previously expeirenced with a women, of my age, looks or race. Also i am scottish, czech and Albanian...all three and i still want to realy only be with one of those three. I am not attracted to allll white men, somei find repulsive and I definetly have the desire to love and defend my man....but, i have my own secret ways, and this blogg of yours has forced be to reveil them! DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU CAN NOT CHANGE REALITY. I don't care how much money you have or your title or you violence if you don't match my needs it's not it! If you want to make a scientific study and bios on women and the current evolution, that's already been done hun! Note: i'm only 25 and your boring me to death, get some love and courage and soul....and then maybe you will find someone to love you..........and yes "I LOVE SHOES AND SHOPPING!" | |
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| Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:50:26 AM | Well, first of all, this is an interesting collection of guys - guys that choose to have a dinner party and talk about life issues like this instead of the stereotypical get together and do a physical activity with general grunting and whatnot, so they sound fairly self-sufficient socially, which I think is a good thing. I think some old-fashioned guys would need women in their lives to have a "dinner party" in the first place.
A second thought is this is not such a good trend because I'm convinced that attractive, intelligent, interesting, independent, self-sufficient men are already at a shortage in my city to date, and now there's a bunch of them not even dating?
Oh, and I wonder if any of them are all content like this because they have been able to convince a woman to be their "fwb" or lover and can get the sex and affection whenever they want without having to engage in the rest of the complications of a relationship. Perhaps that is one factor that allows this to happen, as I don't care how educated and varied your interests are, there is still a very human need for physical contact and sexuality.
I myself have thought about remaining single (though I've never officially married), and being balanced and content this way, but I think while it may certainly be easier to stable and happy as a single person, the things most worthwhile in life are rarely the easiest paths. To me, it would be like saying if someone has an interest in playing the guitar as a hobby, then of course learning three chords and picking it up once a month would be much easier than practicing daily, learning as much as you can and playing complicated songs, but which one is going to be a more fulfilling hobby? Some people might need to work harder at playing the guitar than others because it doesn't come naturally, and I think for a lot of us, relationships don't come naturally either, but that doesn't mean it's not worth the effort. Relationships do take time and energy from other activities, but I would never dismiss what a companion for life would add to my life. | |
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