| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:57:50 AM | Other than the sex, I had exactly the same experience with a Guy from POF - we spent hours on the phone, met up and got on great and he even asked if I would like to see him again - which I said did. Then nothing.... no texts, phone, nothing!
I think there are some people out there who are just out to play games and to annoy and mess around as many people as possible.
It has made me very wary of meeting anyone else now!
S
x | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:16:59 AM | Personally, I'm amazed that anyone thinks this is unusual at all. It happens every day regardless of what sex you are all over the world.
One person decides the other isn't right for them, doesn't have the courage or fortitude to be honest and straight-forward about it, so they bail. Disappear. Poof !
Geez....
Where's the beef?  | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:34:03 AM | new08
I am often surprised no one touches base with PTSD here but, it is possible she found a common factor from a past bad experiance or word which sent her running. Although you were not aware of it because you barely knew one another; it could have been any one of a million things which are a large red flag just from her personal experiances in her past.
Quite possibly she may think why bring it up it is done for me...but I agree she should contact you...not to assure you there is a good enough reason but just to be polite. She nor you owe anyone an explanation. It obviously could have been something so important to her that she decided she could not live with instantly and further more to tell you what it was, would not change it.
P.S. Did you ask her if she slept with all of her first dates that felt attractive "not a good sign; "right"? Sex is a good thing but not worth selling your soul or morals. "or she may be in the hosp"?
Smile Through the learning curve.
She nor you owe anyone an explanation. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:41:34 AM | Some people flake out when they get nervous about being too serious with someone. Often times I think there ar things a person may be "on-the-fence" about. They think about it a little bit then very meekly creep away. It totally sucks but people get increasingly jaded, selfish and think more about themselves as they get older. It could be that they have some other aspirations, some other unspoken thoughts in mind.
People try to deny it but they have certain ideals that they really, really want. It may be hard for them to express at first, especially if you have some but not all of the things they want.
ALSO, when things are still new and you are not yet part of their lives, it is easy to regard the other person as a stranger. You are still outside of their personal circle of friends and family. Once you get IN that circle, it is a lot harder to just blow you off. But until that point... you just have to see what happens. | |
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new08
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Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 30 | |
| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:51:47 AM | Sienna99
Well thanks for the post,
Although if you read about what happened right , you would see where it says that it was a mutual thing, not only on my part but her part as well. Not trying to be rude to you or anything like that, But if all I wanted was to get a piece, I would not be here on this site, believe me there are to many clubs/bars near me for all of that, which is good for some if that is all they are seeking !
I on the other hand would like to find more then just a piece, And easy is something that I will never be ! So I was not so quick to sleep with her as that was not the intension of me going out with her. I even offered her to sleep in one of the extra rooms as I have 3 extra bedrooms, plus 2 living rooms as well. So that was not the issue. I think its just the world that we live in today, as people are not into long-term commitments that much anymore ! My Guess ! | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:02:23 AM | | Unless its rape, its always mutual thing, so your point is irrelevent. What Sienna was trying to say, from what I gather, is that if you were a woman, you would be called one name after another for having sex on date numero uno. Easy, naive, stupid, you name it. Regardless of what your "intentions" were for a long term thing, you decided to rush right into things and have sex. From your description of the aftermath, it appears you got used for one reason or another. The truth is people are taking it easy on you because you are a guy. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:47:05 AM | | Thanks Yawg, you get my point exactly! The OP sounds like a great guy who wouldnt judge a girl who had sex on the first date, and i applaud that cos those type of guys are hard to find...(hey not that I do that sort of thing!!! hahahaha) | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:01:00 AM | | weird woman...lol it sounds like she was not interested in a longteerm commitment to me. the fact she went to your house for the weekend couls indicate she viewed is as a holiday of sort...i don't know. lol | |
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Posted: 5/23/2008 11:24:55 AM | Yang and Seinna have a very valid point actually...It is sad and ironic that a guy can be bummed about the woman spreading um and leaving and everyone says gee sorry... Where women post such a thread and are beaten to a pulp for being such an easy s!ut, and that she should wait until she has that magic ring on her finger.
It is sad how this all works, but guess it is really nice that the op was still interested in the gal after getting laid after a first date... | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:08:10 PM | | Ummmm, what is her handle on here? I wouldn't mind some no strings sex, even if it does take a bunch of phone calls and such. | |
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Posted: 5/23/2008 7:31:09 PM | Dude, it sounds like you acted pretty desperate, needy, and psycho with the snail mail, that is just plain weird. Of course, the more you press, the further you will push her away. So now, you've learned your lesson...
Take it slow, make them want you and they will keep coming back for more. Give it away too soon and they soon go away to someone else. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:40:53 PM | | OP, why would you have sex with someone so quickly after you first met them? This falls in the category of putting your head in the stove and lighting it, pouring bleach in your eyes, or mooning a state patrolman while you are putting gas in your car. There is no woman hot enough that I would "do them" in the first 24 hrs. Think about in detail, yes, actually do it, absolutely not. Getting to know someone works a lot better when the pants are zipped. If you want something to last, getting to know them takes time. IF you want something that lasts. You have to decide what you want and then take the steps to make it happen. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:55:37 PM | | So new 08...you fast tracked a peice of ass as she did...you both got what you wanted. Why are you here playing wounded from a player? The simpathy angle perhaps? Some women fall for that just like some men as well. You've been played! So the proper man thing is, smile, pull up your pants, strut, boast and pronounce to the world that that is one piece of ass that did not get away and move on. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:57:42 PM | | Sorry to hear that this has happened to you. She is a serial seducer. All of the excitement is in the efforts that she need to put in... before she "lays you". You were probably more in tune with, what could actually be longterm... she just played you, used you. Women have been subjected to this juvenile behavior for decades... centuries? I know that I am soo much wiser now.... and so will you. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:09:10 PM |
We decided that we would meet up and she wanted to come to my house for the weekend
She wanted to come to your house for a first date?? Well it looks like she got out of you what she was looking for...Harsh, but it happens all the time...
You guys had a quasi relationship in a weekend! Perhaps next time chat for a bit, have a simple, quick date and go from there. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:26:48 PM |
Oh and how would you know anything about what happened that night ?
Gee.. maybe by that play-by-play in the OP? Hmmm.
Nice to know that women aren't the only one's who'll screw someone, then come here and whine about the following disappearing act.
My gender thanks you. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:57:28 PM | You have been the victim of the classic one night stand. This is what we guys are always accused of doing or planning to do. There's nothing to do but learn from the experience, get tested for STDs and make it a rule to never have sex on the first date.
Ketch | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:16:55 PM | Hi op....... imo....... in everyday life people have boundaries... everyone has different experiences/reactions.. in letting someone get closer...... ie a stranger just met..... too........? from a-to z that quick... forged on emotional intimacy.....ie long chats etc...
i see no discrepancies to your woman friend saying she wants long term etc... to what happened..
it sounds to me... that two strangers met... albeit online...words.... connected..... then moved very very fast from strangers....too emotional/sharing... intimacy....
ie.. lots of soul connecting through words//of past.. present.. and future asperations...
then to meeting...physical...... then to sexual....... really really quick.. in crossing the boundaries we normally give to strangers....
my point is.... maybe it just all moved way too fast too soon....... not a bad thing.... but.. fall out can be..
1..overwhelmed
2..natural instincts to pull up.. reevaluate..
3.... and i mean no offence in this observation.... you seem really.... really connected... and wanted it to go much further... and that might of been too much too soon. for her....
4....maybe its brought issues up in her.... where shes not used to moving that fast,.... and saw you were .... really keen...... and maybe she didnt want to emotionally hurt you..
5... you contacting her in all sorts of ways.... leads me to think that... (nothing wrong with what you did.. just an observation.... if all that messaging afterwards and no response..... maybe she felt all that (wowe this guy is moving it real fastforward) whilst with you.... )
as others have said...... coming on too fast too strong .. can sometimes be over whelming...
its frustrating when you dont have an answer ...... but..... maybe she just wasnt as advanced in the whole connection thing as you were?..........
ive had guys do that to me... im not saying your projecting here....
but they have...ie they feel... they want.... so they are thinking im feeling what they are to0...... that extent.... extent/depth being the point...where as im just getting to know them and am quite conserved in my attaching through intimate(means emotional..not sexual..intimacy) talk etc.. bonding...
im aware of my emotions.. and they dont usually lead me..... (spirit does...foundation to build on).......im used to connecting with people on soul level... but if others im interacting are not.. they might confuse that with,.... a shared depth of emotion... they are completly different things.. (3rd charkra bonding can confuse.. some people)
it would surely make me run...... but im slow by nature.........
the downside?...the more you try contact/push...the less likely you are to find out exactly why.....
or maybe she just freaked/scared... b/c it did happen so fast.. and she found she really wasnt ready... for what she truly deep down desires...
edit.... and this is a good eg on why i dont give ph # out nor connect on ph/voice .... b/c if the other person is looking to date/connect other than friendship... and is or has been lonely for a long period... they can attatch/connect as they open up... and i wouldnt...... ...... much like sometimes a counsellor can end up with a client getting a crush....b/c theyre all exposing themselves...feeling deepness at doing so and assign love/emotions to that....... just a point....
smiles/peace | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:39:15 PM | I have read most of these posts, and everyone seems to have a similar opinion...she just wanted sex, then disappeared. That may well be true, but if I were you, OP, and you really thought things went well, and was pretty sure she wanted to see you again, I would really be worried that something may have happened to her. She could have been in an accident, in intensive care, may even be dead.
If you don't know how else to contact her, figure out a way to see if she is still on POF. Make up a new user name and see if you can contact her that way, pretending to be someone else.
The other poster on here may be right, be I would still want to know for sure. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:45:27 PM | | Um, I think she used you for sex and then moved on. You were a one-night stand. It happens, I don't think men are all that used to being the 'used' part of the equation. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:48:07 PM | diesel:
" So the proper man thing is, smile, pull up your pants, strut, boast and pronounce to the world that that is one piece of ass that did not get away and move on."
The female response is to complain that he was a lousy lay. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:57:30 PM | She enjoyed the thrill of the chase. She caveman, hit you over head, drag you in cave, have her way and leave.
You were played. Next S U C K E R | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:06:49 PM | | WOW, the whole story is odd. why would you waste 8 hours talking to someone on the phone? why not just save that when you saw her in person?? also why would someone you NEVER met agree to come to your house and spend the weekend? she sounds extremely desperate and needy to do something stupid like that. and she didn't want you to take her out to a nice restaurant but cook for her? WTF?? sounds like something is very wrong with this one. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:15:51 PM | | yes it has happened to me, there is alot of women that to lead men on this site plus some, then they like to kick you to the curb , your no good to them, if you know what I mean. | |
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| does this happen to others out there ?
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:19:26 PM | | there is alot of game playing that goes on out there, how would they feel if the shoe was on their /other foot the best is just move on, | |
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