| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:15:34 AM | guy not gut lol
i swear my spelling is getting worse...lol | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:24:27 AM | Not reading all the replies...don't care if you have young children or not...
All I can say is, "Be scared...be VERY scared...and run like death is chasing you!"
There is absolutely NO WAY that his "good qualities" could supercede the bad...argh. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:28:32 AM | Trust your instincts.
You should NEVER gamble with your childs well being.
Why take a chance.
It's not worth the risk. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:31:41 AM | i'm guessing he taught highschool? If so then, no he's not a pedophile.
he'd be an ephebophile.
P.S: your intuition is your best friend. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:41:44 AM | 'Red Flags' all over the place here!If you ignor them,you'll become confused,doubtful,ashamed,defensive(to those who question your motives for being in this relationship),insecure and worried(with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach for the duration of the involvement).And yes...he is a pedophile.An alcoholic might be sober, but he's still an alcoholic.
His behavior might be different,but his inner struggles will remain hidden ,and his fight to maintain a healthier lifestyle is much more complex than what you're seeing on the surface.When ones own children have deleted a parent,there is clear sign of violation.
The fact that you're writing this tells me you're 'on the fence'.Pick a side and move on.
You have the answer;the right one is usually the loudest,and the most difficult one to act on.Be good to yourself. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:49:44 AM | | here's a random opinion... i'm not god nor will i ever claim to be anything near perfect.. but if you are having trouble deciding on whether or not to be with a man who gets off on young girls.. you may need to check your own moral compass.. that is just sick.. there is no way you can be that desperate for a man... | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:58:35 AM | Random opinions are not what you need - you need some good advice and support and resources. I'm not sure that whatever answer you are looking for will be found here. None of us know more than the limited information you have provided - so I would look elsewhere for the assistance you need on this one. And you are the only one who make the decisions that count. Good luck with whatever you decide.
But since you did ask for opinions - and it is only that - go with your gut - and remember that fools rush in.
my 2 bits worth.
jtf | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:05:35 PM | johnbonomolo..........The OP did stipulate the girls were of jr. high school age. which would mean 12 to 14 in most school districts. I find it interesting that you should interject the term ephebohilia aka hebephilia, as this term is not listed as a paraphilia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health and is mainly know as a homosexual term. And although the term is taught when training for counseling it is rarely used in sexual abuse counseling .
In any event he was a married teacher who crossed sexual bounderies with his students. So you can guess all you want.........clinically he would be a pedophile. And the term doesnt go away just because he says he is no longer acting on it. And does it matter what word you use.........I cant think of too many people that would want their children around him.
The biggest red flag for me is the fact his children want no contact with him. | |
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| answer this..........
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:10:23 PM | would you leave your child, niece, neighbors kid, god child ect alone with this man for the day???? IMHO i damn sure wouldnt......................
angel kisses
liz
p.s. just how many is "a few" one or two who came forward or 50 that were too ashamed?? | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:20:27 PM | In response to the poor misguided poster below ....your comments are out of context and not relevant because ....
Reality check #1....Like it or not.... This is an entertainment forum for ADULTS...not for kids...Crime Prevention?..yeah..well...block the person
Reality Check #2 Predators on the internet...Okay ..big..FYI! predators are actually
e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-re... but you made specific reference to them prowling the interenet....that was NOT what the OP was referring to.at ALL. Re-read her post please
Reality Check # 3
Once again ....the advice was to immediately detach from the current involvement
as I said before how can the person with multiple occupations improve on that advice ..unless it was to give private counseling and I'd say to that proposition ...same advice.....run
Reality check # 4
rather than splitting hairs that do not exist ...you would do better to direct your comments to the OP... in trouble.... I am NOT the one entertaining ideas nor do I have any plans to willingly to interface with a known and /or self confessed pedophile
Reality Check 5
This is NOT crime prevention..it's entertainment...your assertions are misplaced..as most ...try to employ common sense..ie: safety pre-cautions
Reality 6
Kickboxing is a great outlet for boredom..oh wait...
this a dating web..well..try that
It is well known that the internet is well utilized by predators of all kinds. So regardless of the fact that this is a POF public forum, an element of Crime Prevention is most assuredly warranted and needed. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:12:35 PM | | As a girl who was scared by a family friend when I was 5 years old, locked in a house , frightened but not raped, and who has since desperately fought to gain control again where men are concerned I would ask "how can you let a man touch you who was indecent with underage kids". Ok he got away with it, like so many, so are you a Gary Glitter fan and applaud his ways with kids - letching at 2 year olds on beaches - like Gary Glitter did and boasted about i? How the hell can you stay with a man who is so vile? I don't have kids but value them as precious beings who should be cared for and protected. How can you let that gross piece of nothing near you or your children? The scars these pieces of filth cause go on for life and not just days. They affect so many things in later life - so protect your kids and yourself for God's sake. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:22:42 PM | End contact with him immediately, and i'll tell you why............
There are those in society who follow the rules. There are those that don't. If you can't follow the rules, that makes you a burden on society; and by your own choice. We live in fear of men like this. This man is a deviant. There are parts of his brain that do not function normally. Unfortunately he has already reproduced, and we pray his children will not be alcoholics or sexual predators, or carry a genetic predisposition for either. However, that is all we can do. By being with this man, you are saying to yourself, "It's okay that he has done these awful things and paid his societal dues. What's in the past, is the past." Tell that to the girls he inappropriately touched.
Ever driven to his home? Did you know that he is being monitored, and is on a list of sexual predators? Just by looking up sexual predators on the internet, one can get access to the addresses of such individuals. If you have been to his residence, then most likely his neighbors are watching who goes in and out. As harsh as it seems, you are deemed "guitly by association".
Take great care in your search for love. You can go to your police department and pay a nominal fee to obtain a state criminal background check on any one. Just give them a name and birth date. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:40:59 PM | Rollthedice3, GET OUT NOW. Look at all the red flags here. Alcoholism. Sexual abuse of minors in a position of trust. Domestic violence (that's the only way you get a restraining order placed on you - judges do not just take away personal freedom willy-nilly). And remember - HIS WIFE DID NOT PLACE THE RESTRAINING ORDER. THE COURT DID, AFTER findings of fact that he is a dangerous man. Finally, we have trouble with the law as evidenced with DUI.
Rollthedice3, this man is not a rule-bound individual. He does not respect other people, their persons, or their personal boundaries, he does not respect others' rights to be safe (DUI), and he does not respect women (Domestic violence and violation of restraining orders). If you stay with this creep you have no one but yourself to blame when he starts pounding on you. Of course he's charming. Abusers always are, that's how they get their next victim; and they dish out little bits of info like this guy has, to convince you how honest they are and that they have changed. Trust me, I've been there, done that, and paid dearly for it. Most telling of all: THESE ARE ONLY THE RED FLAGS HE HAS TOLD YOU ABOUT, OF HIS OWN SELF-REPORT. What others are there he hasn't told you about? I would think a drunk, child molester, wife-beater jail hound would never get a moment of my attention. You deserve better! Drop him like he's hot. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:41:03 PM | S&M bondage queens usually were raped as children...
There are those in society who follow the rules. There are those that don't. If you can't follow the rules, that makes you a burden on society; and by your own choice. We live in fear of men like this. This man is a deviant. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:50:50 PM | I'M NOT A LICENSED PSYCOLOGIST, ALTHOUGH I DID STUDY IT FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS IN COLLEGE, SO USE THIS AS YOU WILL.
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A NOTED CURE FOR PEDOPHILISM, EVEN THE MOST AUTHORITIVE SCHOLARS AND PSYCOLOGIST CANNOT AGREE ON A COMMON CURE FOR THIS BEHAVIOR, NOR HAVE THEY BEEN ABLE TO COME UP WITH A REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR ONES DESIRE TO INDULGE ONES SELF IN THESE ACTS OF EROTICISM. THERE HAVE BEEN NOTED CASES WHERE MEN (BECUASE WE ARE THE MOST COMMON)HAVE GONE THROUGH TREATMENT FOR THIS AND HAVE STILL GONE ON TO COMMIT THE SAME ACTS AGAIN. THE QUESTION IN MY MIND THEN BECOMES, WHAT EXACTLY HAVE THESE INDIVIDUALS BEEN TREATED FOR, AND TO WHAT EXTENT.
PERSONALLY, I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT IN THROWING UP A RED FLAG, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN OF YOUR OWN. ONE AVENUE YOU MIGHT TAKE IS, CONTACT HIS EX-WIFE, EXPLAIN YOUR SITUATION AND YOUR CONCERNS, IF SHE IS SYMPATHETIC TO YOUR FEELINGS THEN PERHAPS SHE COULD SHED SOME LIGHT UPON THE SITATION.
IN ANY CASE, BEST OF LUCK AND MAY GOD BLESS | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:00:17 PM |
In fact he had lost his teaching license because he "inappropriately touched" a few of his students while supervising them in the gym. The touches were in the breast area.
Simon23 - this doesn't sound like a case of things being blown out of proportion or possibly ONE girl making a questionably true accusation. It seems by what the OP has written, that he admits to what he did and what he did wasn't even an isolated incident (not that it would be any less heinous if it were).
To the OP - why on earth would you even have to ASK such questions? Follow your gut. The man has a scary past and is it really all in the past? Do you want to stick around to find out? 99.9% of pedophiles and sexual predators re-offend. Even the ones who seeks years of professional therapy, they're still at risk of re-offending - this is proven. How could you respect a man (you being a woman) who did this to young girls? And then harassing/stalking his ex wife?
Big deal he was honest - some wingnuts use their "honesty" as a way of gaining your trust, only to lull you into a very false sense believing "he's been reformed, he just made some mistakes - we all do, people can change."
There are sh*tloads of red flags here, waving in the wind. Pay attention to them and move on. Surely you can't be that desperate for a man in your life that you would get mixed up with such a sicko? | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:01:22 PM | Personally?
You'd be an absolute fool! to continue on with this!!!! especially if you have children of your own!!!!
Yes, people can change by their own choice! People can, PERVERTS don't!!
No exceptions! | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:38:48 PM | | My suggestion would be to cut your losses right now. I was on a date with "Prince Charming" on Saturday night. I did a search on him (like I do on ALL men that I date)and discovered that he is a convicted sex offender. He didn't appear on any sex offender registries. This man was the most handsome and charming man I've ever dated and I was swept off of my feet. I would never have suspected. All of the searching that I did took approximately 1 hour and was free courtesy of the internet. I confronted him with the information and he had a very believable story, as I'm sure he's had to tell it many times and has his story down. (wrongly convicted, blah, blah, blah) I graciously and SAFELY ended things by telling him that I believe him, but if my children's father discovered the same information it could jeapordize the custody of my children. By the way.....level 1 sex offenders don't have to register. This guy was level 1 and he spent 7 years in and out of prison for molesting a 3 year old! This is the first time that I ever discovered this type of information about a date, but it only reaffirms my convictions on checking everybody out. You just never know. All you need is their first/last name and a birthdate. Easy information to get on a first date. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:42:14 PM | | ^^^Thank God you were able to find this out. Imagine how many people don't think to check and end up dating those who have such scary histories. A shame that here in Canada, you can't really find out much info/whether someone has a criminal background..... | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:42:08 PM | Judgement...who are we to judge? Who doesn't have things in their past that they regret?
There are no mistakes if we learn from them and how can we grow if we do not make mistakes? You should base your desicions on who a person is RIGHT NOW and not on the past. I would relax and let things play out, especially since he has been open about his past. The more you think or worry about his past the more you will see things that may not be real becuase you have preconcieved ideas. You obviously connect with this person and there must be something there, so give it a shot. What if a great guy judged you on getting a divorce, what would you say to him? ROLL THE DICE... | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:45:07 PM | What if a great guy judged you on getting a divorce, what would you say to him?
Buddy....there is an entire world of difference between getting a divorce (legal) and being a freaking married teacher/coach (in a position of trust) who molests young girls and admits to it (illegal, criminal, heinous, reprehensible). Please - put down the crack pipe.
PS: and to think, according to your own profile, that you have children. Good God. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:53:07 PM |
What if a great guy judged you on getting a divorce, what would you say to him?
Hmmm....... divorcee v.s. sex offender.......brilliant comparison. LMAO! | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:56:36 PM | | my lord, run lady, like hell...and don't look back ... | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:05:12 PM | Shug anytime you feel like you are getting over your head you are.
Your kids aren't at the age that he can assault or abuse, but do you have children that are under the age of 18?
This guy could exactly as soulmate says, tell enough truth to cover a heck of a lot of lies, and you are the one that will pay the price.
It IS a sad story that this guy is miswired, and perhaps he has paid his debt... BEFORE I GET PUMMELED...A very few people DO right themselves, however that doesn't cover the price that is being paid by the children he assualted. Just some breast touches seems soooo small to some people, what harm is that??? A life time worth is all...
As stated repeatedly go with your gut, because there IS a reason your alarm bells are going off, and you feel you are in over your head. This guy has some major issues that he chose to make worse and worse, I really don't think he is a good gamble in the least. | |
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| Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:31:52 PM | | I haven't read the responses, so others may have said this, but if he has three grown kids and none will talk to him, he's bad news. You know this anyway. | |
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