| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:07:52 AM |
But now a question for you men: If a woman forgot your name and you gave it, would you assume it was because she was speaking to too many people and couldnt keep them straight?
Nah, I'm horrible with names, myself, so I tend to be pretty forgiving about that sort of thing. People I've chatted with for some time often forget my name, and I'm perfectly okay with that. After all, what's in a name? | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:08:03 AM | She's 36. Definitely old enough to not be playing these sorts of games.
I didn't realize that this site had a notes feature. I've been spending most of my time over at Ok Cupid, but the forums here are far superior. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:12:44 AM | | Well, if you had ever decided to meet up in person, you could request that she wear one of those oh-so fashionable "Hello My Name is" stickers. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:26:31 AM | | Actually, I think it would be hilarious to go to a first date wearing one of those stickers. I would absolutely die laughing if a date showed up wearing one. If she had that awesome of a sense of humor, I'd probably propose on the spot. lol | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:36:18 AM | One chat? Are you kidding me?
I wouldn't be upset if we had one conversation and someone couldn't remember my name. I aslo wouldn't be contacting someone and telling them it's quiz time!
Shyt does happen.... I'm sure I've forgotten some names. It's much more important if you've been chatting and exchanged digits to talk on the phone! | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:51:43 AM | | It's even harder to remember when dating multiple people........sometimes i confuse things but im good at talking my way out of the deep end. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:58:55 AM |
Anyway, when I couldn't remember, she wouldn't tell me or give me a hint. She said, "I never give my name or number a second time." Everyone has their standards, but I thought that was a bit harsh. It's a game I just don't feel like playing and in my opinion would be a harbinger of bad things to come. If she has one inviolable rule, what other rules does she have?
Meh...her "rules" are irrelevant...honestly...IF she'd wow'd you...you woulda remembered.
That's basically it so she wasnt really silly in asking.
We aren't that great of a match anyway, so it's sort of a moot point. But what do you ladies think?
^^^See...? I think... Im absolutely right. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:49:56 PM |
I think... Im absolutely right.
True. If I had been totally wowed by her based on that one conversation, I would have remembered her name. We got along and I was interested, but I wasn't blown away based on that chat.
I wrote a journal entry about this on Ok Cupid and lots of people have commented. The lady in question read it and sent me an email saying that she laughed heartily at it and realized that it made her come across, in her words, like a biatch. She said that she was done giving me a hard time about it and would give me another shot. I told her that I really liked the fact that she found the humor in my journal entry, which was trying to be humorous, but that I didn't think we were a good match.
All's well that ends well, I suppose. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:55:43 PM | | It's happened to me, and I've done it as well. I'm terrible with names, so I don't take it personally if it's someone I've only been communicating with online. Once it's progressed to the phone or in person, though, I might have been a tad bit offended. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:03:12 PM |
Oh, crap. I seriously couldn't remember! I'm horrible with names
Then you'll never be a politician I guess...if thats of no concern to you, don't fret it, most people are bad with names. Christ, I can't even remember my own damn name half the time. Thankfully my mommy stitched my name into my underoo's so I can excuse myself to the bathroom and look at my gitch.  | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:12:21 PM |
I've been getting IMs from several people over the past week and have had lots of conversations with very similar women. They all seem to have multiple kids of varying ages doing similar activities; a few of them are in school for similar things; several of them share the same types of interests. It's beginning to be hard for me to keep it all straight in my head.
I'm thinking its her test to see if you're a playah or talking to so many women on line that you forget who is who. Seems like that was the problem, correct? You are talking to so many women that have so much in common that you forgot her name.
For me, if they forgot my name after one IM, I'd probably laugh but its never happened yet. As Kyn pointed out, her test worked enough that you knew you weren't compatible - so all is not lost.
This site has a 'notes' feature? I used to keep a spread sheet type of record when I first started dating. Now I don't bother talking with so many that I can't keep their fact straight. If I'm seriously talking with one, I don't talk to others. It makes my life easier.
HR  | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:41:17 PM | People that play games like that are overly concerned with themselves. I don't believe there needs to tests, quizes or anything like that in a relationship. My ex played stupid little head games like that and he still does with his kids.
You did well to move on. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:20:30 PM | We aren't that great of a match anyway, so it's sort of a moot point. But what do you ladies think? Would you be too hard on a guy if he forgot your name just once?
Since I can't keep names straight either unless I talk to someone fairly consistently
(on or offline - I am somewhat of a social butterfly), I am usually worse than they are about it - so I'd have a lot of nerve to gripe about it. And I compartmentalize everything, so once I stop talking to someone, I expect never to talk to them again, until I do. I toss a lot of stuff in the mental circular file - and until I meet and like a guy, I don't store much...no one has that much space for random strangers they may speak to only twice in their lives.
For the record, I would have no problem telling someone my name again. I would just laugh it off unless it happened multiple times.
This doesn't bother me either, unless I've been dating someone a couple weeks to a month (I don't expect anyone while dating more than one to retain everything, as I don't tend to)...before that, it's all confusing, you're talking to more than one, and until you meet especially - the conversations are a blur.
I had a guy IM me today and ask if I remembered him. I told him I don't - it's the truth - I have no idea who he is. He's on my list too...but if a long enough time goes by where I don't talk to him, his info gets replaced in the pipeline. It's pretty common.
It was definitely a good thing she asked you that, it lets you know that she's gonna be a scorekeeper and pop quizzer in just about everything. Life's too short to be on eggshells about what you don't remember about people you barely know.
This site has a 'notes' feature? I used to keep a spread sheet type of record when I first started dating.
I don't do this, but I do have IM categories...and I file people there according to my interest (once I determine it), and/or where I met them (early on before I know enough to put them anywhere else) - so I don't have to try to remember. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:47:18 PM | | I guess the best thing about this situation is that the lady in question and I have already discussed this and had a laugh (virtually) about it and have decided that we'd probably be pretty good friends. I learned one or two good lessons (or at least a reminder or two) and picked up a friend. Not a bad couple of days, right? | |
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| Shambhala
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:15:17 PM | Personally, I wouldn't be interested in talking with a man on this site who's spreading his attention around amongst so many women he cannot keep track of them. Unless, of course, I were here for "dating" rather than "long term". If this woman is seeking long term as well, maybe that was her issue.
In any case, I don't get offended by someone forgetting my name in the initial stage of getting to know me. My name is a bit unusual and different and many have trouble remembering it at first. And I'm not great with names either ~ unless it's someone who really winds my clock....in that case, I'll make sure I remember!
This woman sounds like a person who makes everything about her anyway OP, so I think she did you a true favor by showing her true colors already. And since you have so many lines in the water, you should have no trouble getting another bite!
Happy Fishing ~
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| Shambhala
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:39:37 PM |
And since you have so many lines in the water....
I wouldn't quite say that. I've talked to several people over the past week or so. I don't know that too many of those conversations would amount to a line in the water just yet. :) In fact, in a couple of other cases I'm already certain that nothing beyond friendship is going to develop. I do like to talk to people, though, and if they IM me I'll probably talk to them. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:01:23 PM |
honestly...IF she'd wow'd you...you woulda remembered.
I don't see that as being necessarily true. First of all, if someone "wows" me, then what I'm a lot more interested in learning about what makes them who they are than I am about simple stats.
Whether that's good, bad, or indifferent, I think it's silly to base your judgment of a person entirely on whether they happened to remember one specific detail about you.
Secondly, if someone gives me their name early on, as most people do, then they simply haven't had time to "wow" me yet. By the time they get around to impressing me, then I may have already forgotten their name. And it probably wouldn't even occur to me to ask again for her name because I'd be too busy being engrossed in the conversation.
That's basically it so she wasnt really silly in asking.
well, we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. I think it's extremely silly to base your entire judgment of a person on their ability to remember one piece of information.
I think... Im absolutely right.
So because it happened to be true in this one particular case means it's true in every or even a majority of cases? | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:07:31 PM | This thread reminds me of an old joke:
Two couples that have been friends for a long time are sitting at a table. As one guy's wife leaves for a moment, the other couple asks him about a class he has been taking.
"It's a class that teaches you how to improve your memory. It's really simple -- you just have to associate something you want to remember with something you can remember, and it works every time!"
"Wow, what's the name of the school?"
The guy paused for a moment. "I'm new to this," he said. "Umm, what's the name of that flower with the thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yeah, thanks," the guy replies, then turns his head around. "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that school?" | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:14:27 PM | | My memory is horrific. I'm almost certain that it can come off like lack of interest, but it's completely not. I can't help it. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:48:27 PM | A quiz after the first IM conversation is a bit much.
If my name is forgotten after one or two IMs, that's pretty forgivable. After all, how often do you say your own name during the course of a conversation? I admit that it hasn't happened to me all that often due to my unusual name, so I can understand why she may have been taken aback by that. But being really bent out of shape about it, not so much. Now, if he's forgetting other info like my job, the dynamics of my family, basically facts that take more than a sentence or two to explain, given the situation, I may find myself being offended. I wasted all that breathe and not a lick of it was remembered, haha. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:56:05 PM | back when I was an online ''playa''...i used to keep a notebook so that i could write down Im screennames, real names, where they were from and where i'd met them....and a few notes about them..
seriously if you are going to juggle many woman, you need to have a system | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:14:15 PM | I will be honest. You are probably better off. If she is un-forgiving about such a silly thing, in the very begining of getting to know you, then you can imagine how much worse it will go from there.
You don't want a woman who will be totally B over such a thing. | |
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| Guy forgets your name after one chat
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:24:42 PM |
honestly...IF she'd wow'd you...you woulda remembered.
I don't see that as being necessarily true. First of all, if someone "wows" me, then what I'm a lot more interested in learning about what makes them who they are than I am about simple stats.
If someone wows me...I dont forget their name.
Secondly, if someone gives me their name early on, as most people do, then they simply haven't had time to "wow" me yet.
Well I dont give my first name straight up...and I rarely ask for someone elses until Ive known them awhile...infact only a few forum friends know mine.
I think it's extremely silly to base your entire judgment of a person on their ability to remember one piece of information.
Not basing my judgement of them on it...it simply shows whether *I* have or havent wow'd them...if they wanna and I wanna keep chatting...there's no rules against it.
I think... Im absolutely right.
So because it happened to be true in this one particular case means it's true in every or even a majority of cases?
Yup and there'd be more a shitload more than one piece of information to back it up  | |
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