| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:17:06 PM | My guess would be he freaked due to the fact that they CONSTANTLY fight. Sounds like anything she might find on it would lead to fighting.
He may have something to hide, but it doesn't mean it's something bad, just personal. Some phones hold as much info as computers. I save my poems on it and wouldn't want anyone reading it. It would be like reading my personal diary. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:25:08 PM | Even if she was being nosey, why would he snatch it away if he didn't have something to hide?
Ever heard of a thing called privacy and respect?
I had a chick who dug through my phone (while I was in the bathroom) and saw a lot of calls between me and a lady named Lindsey and checked my text messages and saw where she and I had planned on having dinner and seeing a movie the next night at 8:00p.
The chick flipped out, threw my phone at me and accused me of cheating on her and called me all sorts of horrible names. Apparently she also remembered Lindsey's number and after she stormed out of my house she called Lindsey and told her that she was being played and that I was a two timing scumbag.
Lindsey thanked her for the info and hung up.
The next night at dinner, my daughter Lindsey was telling me all about the phone call she received. Yep, I was accused of cheating with my daughter!
So when you are dealing with people who like to fight a lot, who are overly nosey and have no respect for peoples privacy and personal boundaries then sometimes you should get pissy and protect your rights lest things be taken out of context and your mom or daughter get a call!
Women and all their stupid games. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:34:28 PM | Maybe it's not popular but I believe that if you're in a serious long term relationship, you shouldn't have anything to hide. I am an open book. My BF can look through my purse, my email, my phone, whatever flops his mop, I have nothing to hide or feel nervous about. That being said, I have never given any guy I've been in a relationship with, any reason to mistrust me or feel the need to snoop but if for whatever reason they're having a moment of insecurity and want to put their mind at ease, go for it............then you'll just see how silly you were  | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:12:08 PM | Maybe he's like me.
Lemme 'splain.
I have a real hard time with other people touching my stuff. I mean, it makes me physically uncomfortable and anxious.
Yea, that probably makes me sound like a kid who never learned to share in pre-school, but I know exactly where it comes from. It does, in fact, come from pre-school; adult authority figures would be all like, "why don't you share that with Timmy?", and I would, because I was a good kid, and Timmy would proceed to destroy it.
I've had a lot of stuff broken by other people over the years, and lost a few other treasured items that people borrowed and subsequently, disappeared.
Now that I'm an adult, and this stuff is not cheap, if it belongs to me, you ain't touchin' it. Especially something personal like my phone, or the guitar in my photo. Only other person who ever played that guitar was my dad, and I was not happy with it (although I didn't say anything about it. I mean, he is my dad.) I don't have anything to hide... I just have a long history of people going "lemme see that", and then a minute later, *snap* "oops, here", as they hand it back to me in multiple pieces. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:02:23 PM | ^^^^^ Wonkabar, I KNOW what you mean! Check out the other photo in my profile. Once it's set up and tweaked to your playing style, ain't NO ONE gonna touch that axe!
On to the topic:
JuhEEEEzus! Who's got the power issues? They date and fight constantly?
Besides, in the interest of the English language, it's "...this guy and SHE constantly fight..."
Now that that's straight, why would anyone want to snoop in someone else's affairs? That's nothing if not a sign of disrespect. Your friend is--let me say this correctly--an invasive loser. She may have enough years in her life to grow up. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:04:33 PM |
Now that that's straight, why would anyone want to snoop in someone else's affairs? That's nothing if not a sign of disrespect. Your friend is--let me say this correctly--an invasive loser. She may have enough years in her life to grow up.
Who said she was snooping? The OP stated that her friend was looking at the different features. People drew their own conclusion and said that she was peaking around. Looking at your bf/gf's phone makes you an invasive loser. Suuure.  | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:06:33 PM | | In my experience, they have something to hide.. A novel idea, but why does she not discuss this with him and share her concerns...He might lie, yes, but she should be able to figure it out if he is.. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:17:56 PM |
I asked for your opinon on the situation, not your views on what she did and whether or not it was right.
What's the difference? I think you don't want opinions. I think you just want to hear people agree with what you clearly think and that's this guy is a dirtball or cheater or not trustworthy. You don't want to listen to opposing opinions. That's fine, but don't say you do when you don't.
The way I see it, the guy was damned if he did, damned if he didn't. If he didn't hand over the phone and a fight broke out, I would guarantee that you would have been on here saying the same thing and that he should have just given her the phone and let her snoop until her heart was content. Either way, the guy was doomed.
Now, I'm not saying that he did or didn't have anything to hide. He probably did. Perhaps he has sensitive business contacts on his phone? Perhaps he took a picture of his penis for the doctor to see because he was embarrassed? Perhaps he has texts to another woman? No one really knows. There is obvious mistrust in the relationship, so does it really matter? Until they are ready to solve their own problems, you soliciting random opinions from random people on the internet is not going to solve the problem, that I know for sure.
Good luck with all that and I hope you find happiness with the one you were on the date with and let your friend figure her own crap out. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:18:03 PM | OP, these two always argue, so matter what the situation is, it will ultimately end with the same result.
They've had 10 months of knowing where to push all the buttons to create the drama... don't lose sleep over it.
But, to give an opinion on the subject... if someone asked to see my purse (for example) I would expect their focus to be ON my purse. If they asked to look through my purse, I would just say no. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:35:12 PM | | if a woman asked to see my phone, then she started going threw it, i would take it from her! if she got upset....oh well! if she said she will see what was in my phone or else, i will sit her down and let her go threw it. then when she finds out i have nothing to hide, i would kick her out! she has issues, and i hate drama! | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:41:56 PM | I am a private person with nothing to hide. I am just private. I respect the privacy of others as I like mine respected. I have seen an open journal, walked over it to it and closed it to prevent anyone else from reading it. I would not read someone's jouranl, go through someone's phone etc.
I do not even answers someone's cell phone when I am told to please answer it. Hell, I won't even go into my friends fridge and I mean a friend I have known since I was a kid.
Maybe I am odd but privacy needs to be respected. One thing to be nosy and one thing to snoop because you think someone is cheating. Even then though, somethings are off limits to me to snoop into.
He gave her the phone. He thought she was being nosy because after a minute she was still looking at it. Who knows if her excuse was real or not. But he gave it to her and if he had nothing to hide, he would have said no. But he thought she then became nosy and did not like his privacy being violated.
~Carrie | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:49:48 PM |
(Ms Brat) I'm with you, Judy. I can't see him getting angry for any other reason.......
*shrug* I can: she asked to see his phone, he said yes, then he changed his mind. People ARE allowed to change their minds, ya know, and it doesn't necessarily mean they have something to hide.
WRT technical stuff: I don't like people fiddle-farting around with my technical stuff (even my kids playing too much with my TV remote), 'cause they tend to F*CK IT UP, and then I have to sort out the mess that they made.
OP: maybe he didn't want her to delete large portions of his accumulated-over-a-long-period-of-time 'phone book. Why the rush to assume (by others) that he must have something to hide?
Arlo | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:52:58 PM |
(wutznot2love) Maybe it's not popular but I believe that if you're in a serious long term relationship, you shouldn't have anything to hide. I am an open book. My BF can look through my purse, my email, my phone, whatever flops his mop, I have nothing to hide or feel nervous about.
*sigh*
WHY do some people assume that, if THEY have no problem with others getting all up in their private stuff, NO ONE ELSE should, either; and anyone who does, is somehow "broken", or at least should be looked down upon?
Arlo | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 6:06:26 AM | 10 months, and she's just now becoming fascinated by his phone?!
I see all kinds of problems here, but first, what is the big fascination with these lil phones?! I'm told mine has all kinds of bells and whistles, but I don't have a clue what they are or where they are. I just open it, dial the number and press that green button. I don't know how to use the camera---and if anything might hook me, it'd be that, lol--don't use the phone book cause I'd rather keep using my brain so it'll stay as sharp as ever--ha!--and the few times I tried using it, it took me 3 times longer to actually get the number dialed!  Heck, I can't even figure out how those numbers got in there! And I don't use my bluetooth thingy cause I don't care for looking like an alien.
But OKOK, I know that's just me, and some folks do indeed get a huge chunk of their O's from gadgets. But I'm not one of them and never have been. Shoot, my kitchen is stocked full of gadgets and appliances that I rarely use cause it's much quicker and more effective for me to just use my hands. I guess I'm all about the speed. :) All that dang set up...nah, no patience for it!
Now, I don't understand why the OP mentions that these 2 fight over every lil thing. That led me to conclude this wasn't any different and it also led me to believe one or the other knew which chain to yank. (Wanna take a guess, lol?)
And I don't understand why, if he has such strong feelings about his phone, for whatever reason, he couldn't just say that? Why'd he offer it, then rudely snatch it back? I would've been pissed right there and then! I would've been pissed if we were at home alone, but being on a double date and in public would've launched my chair off the floor. Were I him, I would've said "yes, you may look at my phone, but please don't mess with any of it's functions. I'll be happy to tell you all about it", or something to that effect....I might've held it in my own hands and walked her through all it's whistles! I dunno, if you're gonna have rules about your stuff, you need to be able to state them and not be passive aggressive about it.
I'm more concerned with his behavior than whether she should think he has something to hide--of course he has something to hide and it's what's inside his phone! But, it's his phone, his rules, and it's on him to handle what does or doesn't happen to it.
'Course, if he had simply said "no", (and, IMO, she was banking on the fact that he wouldn't!) this brings up the unfortunate but likely realization that she probably would've made the same leap and he would've looked just as guilty. But, if what she really wanted was to simply check out the features of his phone, all he'd be guilty of is being a lil phone snob...no looky, no touchy! | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 6:39:43 AM | Humph.
She asked. He gave. He freaked out after a heartbeat. My gut reaction is that he has something to hide. But, perhaps...he just didn't like the fact that she didn't trust him. Of course, that depends on how it all went down, etc.
I am a very open person. I have invited my former b/fs to go into my purse when the situation warrants it and use my phone, etc. However, my last b/f was extremely insecure.
I used to take my phone in the bathroom when I was putting on my make-up in case I would get a call. One time, I left it in there. When I went back for it, I caught him going through my recent calls menu. WTF? 
Just because you are in a relationship doesn't give one the right to violate the other's privacy. If he had asked then no problem, which explains my gut reaction on your friend and her boyfriend's situation. However, one must question after 10 months why doesn't she trust him? Is that the reason why they are always fighting? Also, was she looking at the features or had she started to look at the private stuff when he snatched it away? There is a distinction to be made: she asked for permission to view the phone and its features...she didn't ask permission to access his private numbers. Had she and he agreed then he would be 100 percent in the wrong.
After I caught my b/f going through my phone, our days were numbered. But until our end, I locked my address book, my texts and my recent calls list. Then every time, he went through my phone after I did that and saw the code prompt on the specific things he was trying to access...then he realized I knew HE was the one not to be trusted. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 6:50:52 AM |
so that gives her the right to snoop thru his stuff
I think if he willingly gives up his phone, then sure. Why not?
If I invite someone into my house, that doesn't give them the right to go into my bedroom and start going through my stuff, does it? I'm sure when he handed her his phone, it wasn't with the intention of her going through it and seeing what was there. That's none of her business.
As far as your question, I don't think he did anything wrong, and I don't think he has anything to hide. I think he just reacted to her doing something she had no business doing. Being someone's girlfriend does NOT mean you can take away a man's right to privacy. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 6:57:41 AM |
Maybe it's not popular but I believe that if you're in a serious long term relationship, you shouldn't have anything to hide. I am an open book.
Having one's privacy isn't necessarily about "hiding" anything: it is about respecting boundaries and trusting your partner. I would not want ANYONE to have free access to my correspondence or other such aspects of my life. In my last longterm relationship, if my SO needed something from my purse, he brought it to me. One day when I was busy, I told him to get five bucks (or whatever) from my wallet, but he brought the purse to me.
When I asked him why he just didn't get the money, he said, "Because it's YOUR purse."
if someone asked to see my purse (for example) I would expect their focus to be ON my purse. If they asked to look through my purse, I would just say no.
Exactly. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 6:59:16 AM | | Your friend was being nosy....and rude. What would she think of a guy looking through her purse? It's one thing if they were married......but they weren't. Purses , wallets, cell phones and computers are off limits while dating without special permission. For both genders. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:13:00 AM | Actually he was just mad because women break everything electornic and he didn't fee like paying for a new phone.
Ok, there's about a 1% chance of that being true.
The other 99% says he had some naughty text messages to hide.
BTW - I am right about everything. All the time | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:33:36 AM | Can I just say that I have gone through this! I believe 100% with out a doubt that if you can't look at their phone they have something to hide! With my ex he would have all these other girls on his phone that he would be texting and then be stupid enough to leave it on there. I found out alot by just looking. I mean at one point he was telling a girl that he loved her just to get money from her. I think if you can't look at their phone then something isn't right. Go with your gut always!  | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:38:22 AM | | Yes, I would say, he has something to hide.She should have asked him to show her all the features of his phone, unless she was wanting to search for other things. And isn't looking thru someones phone, like reading their mail? If their relationship was good and strong, he wouldn't have a problem showing her ALL the information in his phone. Maybe they need better communication. Being sneaky on either end is trouble. | |
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| Freaking out when a girl looks through your cell phone..?
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:59:41 AM |
(gaelicheart) Being sneaky on either end is trouble.
Ah. Well, that's where we'd have problems, then: YOU call it "being sneaky"; I call it "not letting you snoop in my private stuff".
OP: they fight all the time ANYWAY. What are they doing together anyway?
Arlo | |
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