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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:47:15 PM | Well I don't normally post on forums but this thread is so sad that I couldn't resist.
Guys AND girls... Where has all the confidence gone???
Life is what you make of it. Opportunities are there for people who create them. Guys seriously are you so off your game or have no game at all that you can blame a dating failure on a TV show and actually make yourself beleive it????? A TV show has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with dating success; it all starts with you and your attitude towards life.... Seeing a show as something to worry about is the wrong attitude!
If you meet a girl that was affected negatively by a TELEVISION SHOW (wow ridiculous), it's NOT THE SHOW'S FAULT, the girl was messed up already. And if you ARE willing to date a childish person that's affected by mainstream media crap then you must be desperate and you get what you deserve!!!!
Bearing in mind that I haven't seen one episode and have met many women that are both level headed AND watch the show, I would say that this show has absolutely no impact on dating FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE STILL LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD!!
Hint: If you're a guy, why not watch the show or go see the movie??? If so many girls are watching it, it can make a great conversation topic/something to make fun of!!! Why not turn a perceived disadvantage into a complete advantage?
Guys (and the ladies of course!), keep your chin up, forget the show and go play the field!
BTW, check my profile/drop me a line! You can never have too many friends!!! | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:49:58 PM |
If you meet a girl that was affected negatively by a TELEVISION SHOW (wow ridiculous), it's NOT THE SHOW'S FAULT, the girl was messed up already. And if you ARE willing to date a childish person that's affected by mainstream media crap then you must be desperate and you get what you deserve!!!!
AGREED!!!!!!! | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/1/2008 11:26:46 PM | There is an old saying that pop culture mirrors reality, not reality copies pop culture. S&TC is a mirror to how people behave in today's reality. And yes people are influenced by what they see on TV and movies because it shows those type that it is ok to do what these characters are doing. Perhaps it sounds like I contradicted myself there, but what I'm getting at is this the behavior on TV shows and movies in being carried on in the society and the time of there production, and producing shows that portray this type of behavior reinforce that it is ok to behave like these characters. Really S&TC hasn't ruined dating but our society's lack of moral values and respect and responsibility has ruined dating, and shows like S&TC is a sign of the times.
But TV can influence younger people. But then again it's the sign of the times because what has happened over the past 25 years or so is TV has become a baby sitter. And if it was ok at 5 years old to behave like the characters on Sesame Street, then at 18 or 25 it's ok to behave like the characters on S&TC. The problems in our society is from bad parenting not from bad TV shows.
I watched "All In The Family", "MASH", "Welcome Back Kotter", "Monty Python", and other 70s and 80s shows, and "Married With Children". I didn't go about treating people like the characters I saw on these shows, but granted there have been times in my life where I behaved like "Meathead" or "Hawkeye" when it came to standing up for things I believed in, like war and politics, and like "Samantha Stevens in Bewitched" when she used to pull out her picket sign and protest a closing of a child's playground. And there are times I see myself behaving like "Archie" when it comes to behavior of today's young people.
And yes I after a few drinks may start acting out characters from "Monty Python", "This parrot wouldn't boom if you put 50,000 volts though it! This Parrot is demised, it has gone to meet it's maker, it is no more. If you hadn't nailed it to it's perch it would be pushing up the daises!" And I have developed quite a wonderful silly walk over the years that I'm quite proud of.
But for teaching other people like some of these characters, well, I received more influence from my mother and family than the TV. My mother said no sex before marriage, and it's what inside that counts not what's on the outside. No I haven't totally abided by my mother's rules, but I do believe that you should have a committed relationship with someone that the two of you believe is heading towards marriage before you get beyond some heavy petting, and I've learned there are a lot of attractive people male and female that are ugly as sin on the inside, and there are some really good people that might look like your aunt Bertha, or Meatloaf.
Heck all this talk about Meat is making me hungry.
I don't hate women or believe all women are evil, but I do believe today's society and the behavior of men and women in this society isn't my cup of tea. I'll stick by my guns and perhaps I'll find a women like myself that says this society is a bunch of crap! Then the two of us can go out and make our own "Partridge Family". Which by the way is based on a real family from the 70s, "The Cowsills". "Travelin' Along There's A Song That We're Singing...Come On Get Happy". | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/1/2008 11:44:12 PM | Well, if your compadre actually watched the show, he'd see that each woman went for a completely different types of men...and even if there was money involved, it didn't always equate to happiness.
Charlotte went for a fairly rich, white, Protestant man, who was entirely ruled by his mother, was impotent and insensitive. She divorce wound up marrying a short, bald, lawyer. OK, lawyers still have money, but the show showed how happy she was.
Miranda wound up marrying a bartender and uprooting her life to live in Brooklyn.
Samantha just loved having sex with different guys, but wound up having a committed relationship with a model.
Carrie did wind up with Mr. Big, who does have money, but has major commitment issues. She's been with other guys though. A construction worker, a jazz musician, a book writer, etc.
I won't go into movie spoilers because I know a lot of people haven't seen it yet. I think the show is fairly realistic in regards to what women have to deal with in the NYC dating scene. Different women approach it in different ways and they meet many different men. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/1/2008 11:48:37 PM | In reference to the comment that all doctors don't look the ones on shows like ER, etc, but there are many doctors like House. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:53:53 AM |
I do, however, have to wonder why so many women seem to flock to this show like it's the second coming of Jesus... given just how badly men are portrayed on it. Do they really think that badly about us? Why does the show resonate with them so deeply? It can't possibly be because they recognize that the four leads are f*cking up their own lives entirely of their own merit, and see that in themselves, can it?
Because we women love shoes, clothes and handbags--oh and men! Just like SOME men (don't do generalizations) love to watch sports all F'n Sunday. Or play video games until they lose all track of time. It's not all about the men being portrayed badly--you're looking at it from a male perspective (see my other response about this and why women love shoes). It's NOT about how bad men are my friend...it's more about how stupid and funny (add adjectives ad nauseum) we as women can be when it comes to you guys! Aidan--great guy, has some flaws but loves Carrie for hers...actually helps her to become a better person (not smoking). But he's such a good guy she f**cks it up. Uh hello....!!! Too many of us ladies have done something similar...we know when we mess over a good guy...but sometimes we're just idiots like men are.
And, just to throw some more gasoline on the fire... if a show about four men, that followed a very similar format (and, unlike Big Shots, were funny and smartly written), came on the air... would it have as much success? I, personally, don't think so.
LOL...let me make the fire higher...NO. Why? Cause if it meant that men showed their d**ks on TV...even cable and it's not porn...doubtful. When the show was on HBO, you saw the women naked in all their glory...flaws and all...would you watch 4 guys showing their d**ks on TV (again...not porn)??? Male frontal nudity is taboo in the US still so until/when/if men are comfy about seeing their Johnsons swinging around on TV (and most actors would NEVER do it!!!), won't happen. And too many guys would think "that's gay" to even sit there and watch it if it was on TV!
Are you seriously gonna sit in front of a tv for an hour and watch a bunch of guys bonding over a football/baseball/basketball/etc game? No...you would probably rather watch the game itself or go play it. Or watch the commentary of said game.
Men and women are hard-wired differently (you know this right??) so what appeals to women (shoes, clothes, making dumb/smart man decisions and seeing the outcome) isn't going to appeal to guys. Most of the time. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:17:50 AM |
I do, however, have to wonder why so many women seem to flock to this show like it's the second coming of Jesus... given just how badly men are portrayed on it. Do they really think that badly about us? Why does the show resonate with them so deeply? It can't possibly be because they recognize that the four leads are f*cking up their own lives entirely of their own merit, and see that in themselves, can it?
I think the fact you're looking at it from a male's perspective (which is natural of course) which is causing some of the confusion. In my experience, men tend to think in terms of cause and effect. Whatever effect they encounter, they look around for a potential cause and if it makes sense then they lump them together and call it a day. That cause and effect remains together until further evidence proves that it is inaccurate.
I spoke to my guy friend about SATC since he has seen it, and was shocked at the things he noted about the show. While I was looking at the fabulous restaurants and shoes, he was taking note of how Aidan was treated and that Carrie ended up with the jerk. Although I had a severe problem with Carrie cheating on Aidan and Mr. Big would end up at the bottom of a lake if I dealt with him, I didn't think further of it after that season ended. I wasn't in it for the relationship advice (if you can honestly term it that), but for the fluff (shoes, handbags, quirky one-liners, etc). The main thing I took note of was how horrible Carrie's clothes looked during the next season due to SJP's pregnancy.
What I think is being missed is the difference between pre and pro SATC. Granted we are a society where media tends to take what's real and make it hyper-real, so there is some truth to the concerns men have about what is portrayed in SATC. I feel SATC is a reflection rather than a catalyst. The first thing I thought when I saw SATC for the first time was, "Whoa! That's girl talk...real girl talk. That's not the stuff guys are supposed to see!". And after my initial, "This isn't going to be pretty...", reaction I felt liberated that finally someone was willing to admit that we're not all angels. We can be vicious. We can be selfish. We can be just as human and flawed as a man.
There is a price that's paid when you see the other gender too clearly. There is something to be said for leaving a little mystery. I remember my reaction when my guy friend told me that men basically deal with women for sex. That relationship and companionship are nice, but what it boils down to is nookie. This is a big reason why so many men have a problem with being made into friends instead of lovers by women they're attracted to. You're admired, appreciated, supported (if she's a good friend) and get companionship but without the sex there really isn't a point. After a few days of frothing at the mouth ready to rip out the throat of any man that approached me, I accepted that men and women both want the same thing in the end so it doesn't really matter why they took the road to begin with. Still, that information was hard for me to swallow and I paid my price to receive it.
I think one of the sticking points is that the rules of right and wrong aren't enforced on SATC. The cheater gets the great guy in the end. You can breeze through men, get a great one, cheat on him, breeze through some more men, get the great guy again, break his heart and in the end nab the handsome, wealthy a-hole with commitment issues. Yeah, that's not how things typically work in TV-land, but I see SATC as the merge of the playboy with the female itinerary. To basically live as a man without censure yet still get the commitment you want.
The only ones I see truly being influenced by SATC are young women since the actions of men already creates that fantasy. So many men seem to understand that the actions of women create players. That a-hole behavior is rewarded. Yet are unable to see that by the same token, the actions of men create princesses. That by giving noticeably better treatment to women that are attractive creates a sense of entitlement in regards to men. Even if a female is a b!tch, if she's pretty at least she gets a chance. Granted, most guys would toss her after awhile if she remained a b!tch, but at least she got a shot with him unlike the less attractive females he never approached.
So in the end, I don't believe SATC is the culprit but what men and women believe to be important. The status of the male reflects upon the female and validates her. And guys want to get laid, and if a relationship comes of it...great. I think SATC resonates with women because it's fun and provides the dream. The only women you have to worry about in my opinion are the ones too silly to realize it is a fantasy, or are already validated by the actions of men and SATC is just adding more fuel to that fire. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:57:07 AM | I still think men are reading too much into it, and the women who watch are primarily drawn to the show by the fashion, New York City, the comedy and the friendships aspect...
The men are more like backdrop in the show, to be honest...I never saw them as the main theme, or anything to take notes on...to me the theme was 4 women who complimented each other, went thru crap together, yadda yadda...
Sidenote: On the topic of Big/Aidan - neither was perfect for her; one was scared shitless of commitment and the other was consumed by it...I saw it as a lesson in balance if anything. And sorry, Big may have seemed to be a jerk, but IMO Carrie's character placed too much on their exchanges constantly, and tried to change his character instead of either accepting his level of commitment, or finding someone else she could live with...to me, Aidan was no better, same deal, just on the other side of the scale...as in just because a woman wants commitment it doesn't mean she's ready to drop everything and tie the knot; and just because she doesn't want to get married doesn't mean she's happy without a relationship. There's a lot of gray area there.
JMO.
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:57:29 AM | I hate to point out the obvious...but sex and the city was a fictional story based
on fictional characters.
Why would someone form their life opinions...or in fact base their life on something
like this?
Do people who watch reality shows somehow try to emulate the contestants? | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:19:39 PM |
I'll stick to watching Star Trek and hopefully it won't ruin my dating chances.
I say we men embrace "Big Bang Theory" as our Sex and the City.
That'll really make the dating realm interesting.  | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:25:32 PM | Nesaia I love you...you said it perfectly. All these women on this shows date guys with money, or a great career, or a great bode (ie. Construction worker). I don't see any of them dating the mailman, truck driver, factory worker, or taxi driver...I'm been everyone of those. They aren't dating some average joe guy that has a job. It's all about money and lust...nothing to do with values, or personality...marrying a guy with commitment issues? Come on now!!! That's what the problem is with dating in today's society. In "The Honeymooners" what did Jackie Gleason do? He was a bus driver and they lived in an apartment. Not a condo, an apartment. Where did the family in "Good Times" live? Harlem. That's what has become of our society we all have to rich and beautiful, we just can't go to work and raise a family anymore...which by the way was the values that America was founded on.
You women want equality right? Well then behave like men when it comes to dating too. Date below you. Men have been doing it for centuries. | |
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jani1
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Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 163 | |
| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:01:45 PM |
It's a chick flick man hating feminist fantasy the kind no guy wants
Still waiting for someone to explain to me how is SATC man hating.
And as pointed out earlier SATC creator is a guy.
I like that answer "I tell them I raise polecats." thats great. Never tell them what you do :)
Because thats so advisable if you are trying to build a long term trusting relationships.
Good luck with that.
And also can someone explain to me how is SATC promoting golddigging? | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:12:05 PM | And also can someone explain to me how is SATC promoting golddigging? <<< well!!
you know...Miranda married a man that makes less then her of course!! golddigging at it's best...or is it worst?? that should get some of you fuming. | |
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jani1
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Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 165 | |
| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:17:15 PM | alphatiger007, thank you for you post, I got tired of explaining the same.
And yes, exactly, voluptuous goddess. Have I been watching the same show as the people offended by it? All 4 of them are 100% supporting themselves and paying their own bills. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:20:54 PM |
Where did the family in "Good Times" live? Harlem.
Actually, it was set in the Cabrini Greene Projects here in Chicago.
Still waiting for someone to explain to me how is SATC man hating.
No idea unless some guys claim the girls who are complaining about men over lunch are "man-hating".
I tried to watch several episodes before I make comments simply so I know I'm not spitting up rhetoric based on little or no proof. I still think many guys are threatened by the idea of all the women in the US becoming Carries, Charlottes, Samanthas, or Mirandas when they need to realize that those four women represent personality traits already found in ALL WOMEN (both the good and bad traits). This is not something new.
And also can someone explain to me how is SATC promoting golddigging?
Well, come now. In the show most of the guys these women pursued were wealthy. Even critics have said the characters come off as "shallow, superficial, and self-absorbed". Some even stated how it seemed to depict NYC life as Caucasian, wealthy, and all about Manhattan.
As I've stated, the younger more naive women who embraced only what they liked in the show as their new lifestyle of choice (shopping, martinis, and hunting for wealthy alpha males) are the only types I have seen get the idea of "golddigging" from the show, but I'm more inclined to believe they always were like that and the show more or less became a "yes it's perfectly ok to be a gold digger" message...which is rather sad, but men should realize then those women aren't worth their time.
If anything, Miranda and Charlotte's stories more or less was the lesson to be learned from those who do make it successful and why "marrying up" may not get them the love they really want. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:29:36 PM | I have never seen an episode of Sex and the City and have no plans to see the movie.
That said, let me ask you a question: If Sex and the City ruined dating by making women have unrealistic expectations of men, does that mean that Baywatch, Hooters, every magazine cover and tv commercial for the last 20 years has ruined dating by giving men unrealistic expectations of what REAL women are supposed to be?
Have those things created a fantasy that no woman can offer a man unless she's had her entire body rebuilt into Barbie proportions, with just as much plastic?
It's not fun to have to compete with a fantasy world, is it? | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:33:20 PM | so true so true ... >>If anything, Miranda and Charlotte's stories more or less was the lesson to be learned from those who do make it successful and why "marrying up" may not get them the love they really want.<<
I think what the men are mad about is to find out that women actually compare *equipment* notes and talk trashier then they do and we are ok with it... or is it maybe that we do not *need* them as much as we used to? | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:38:49 PM |
And also can someone explain to me how is SATC promoting golddigging?
Well, come now. In the show most of the guys these women pursued were wealthy. Even critics have said the characters come off as "shallow, superficial, and self-absorbed". Some even stated how it seemed to depict NYC life as Caucasian, wealthy, and all about Manhattan.
And as someone else pointed out, the women on the show are 100% supporting themselves, and very nicely, I might add...and that one of them married a man who makes less than her. So who was the gold digger in that marriage? | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:39:38 PM | I think what the men are mad about is to find out that women actually compare *equipment* notes and talk trashier then they do and we are ok with it... or is it maybe that we do not *need* them as much as we used to?
I'd say if your profile and lack of photograph are any indication, you got more problems than expounding on a TV show.... | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:42:59 PM | No, it's just a tv show; however..........
if anyone can tell me where I can find Aiden I would appreciate it!!!!! LOL 
He is my ideal man. Carrie is an idiot for cheating on him. I'm glad he gave her a second chance but it is for selfish reasons......I want to see him in more episodes!! I can't get enough of that man.
Big is a jerk, so is Burger and the Russian guy. | |
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jani1
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Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 172 | |
| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:48:47 PM |
All these women on this shows date guys with money, or a great career, or a great bode (ie. Construction worker). I don't see any of them dating the mailman, truck driver, factory worker, or taxi driver...I'm been everyone of those. They aren't dating some average joe guy that has a job. It's all about money and lust...nothing to do with values, or personality...marrying a guy with commitment issues? Come on now!!! That's what the problem is with dating in today's society. In "The Honeymooners" what did Jackie Gleason do? He was a bus driver and they lived in an apartment. Not a condo, an apartment. Where did the family in "Good Times" live? Harlem. That's what has become of our society we all have to rich and beautiful, we just can't go to work and raise a family anymore...which by the way was the values that America was founded on.
You women want equality right? Well then behave like men when it comes to dating too. Date below you. Men have been doing it for centuries.
Dude, I lost a track of what you are complaining about. Miranda married a bartender. Is that ok with you? | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:50:39 PM | No I think that American Idol did....or was it Dancin with the Stars?
Maybe you should start another dumbass thread....or better yet....maybe not!
Peace and goodwill!!!!!   | |
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jani1
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Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 174 | |
| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:52:54 PM |
If Sex and the City ruined dating by making women have unrealistic expectations of men, does that mean that Baywatch, Hooters, every magazine cover and tv commercial for the last 20 years has ruined dating by giving men unrealistic expectations of what REAL women are supposed to be?
Have those things created a fantasy that no woman can offer a man unless she's had her entire body rebuilt into Barbie proportions, with just as much plastic?
It's not fun to have to compete with a fantasy world, is it?
That is SPOT ON. Thank you. | |
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