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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:07:02 PM | | I can not believe that this is actually a thread. What is even more difficult to believe is that I sat here and read it!!(avoiding doing paperwork) Anyway, I will admit that when the show first came out, I wasa little taken back by the frank discussions and language...that was many years ago! When I allowed myself to get over all of that and became a "more mature and open" person, I enjoyed the relationships and friendships that all the women had/have. The show is really about friendship and self awareness and acceptance. Isn't that what we are supposed to do as we mature and learn about ourselves? Don't want to get off the subject but do want to point out that the fact that these woman (and many of us) are able to take care of ourselves and don't Need a man in our live, rather we want one ! In todays society where woman can and do take care of themselves.........it leaves men confused as to the role that they play in a relationship and society. This is not to bash men at all, its just that it changes so many things! Maybe we can put an intellectual twist on this thread yet.......... | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:29:51 PM | Please... Does the Girls next door ruin marriage for playboy bunnies? What about the bachelor? Women being paraded in like cattle for inspection. How does that effect dating? Did anyone ever see a show called Seinfeld? Jerry found something wrong with every woman he dated.
SITC showed 4 independent women and their styles of dating and surviving. As for rich good looking men, umm have you met Charlotte's husband? What about Miranda's bartender husband? Hello?? Carrie isn't exactly the most beautiful woman in the world yet she landed Mr. Big. Even Samantha has cougars roaring everywhere!!
It is JUST a show and GOD forbid if it caused women to raise their standards in the process!! Lets go back to I love Lucy and All in the Family. Edith had it made!!! NOT | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:18:00 PM | What about the bachelor? Women being paraded in like cattle for inspection. How does that effect dating?
Personally the Bachelorette where men are paraded in like cattle is WAY more fun to watch (and my personal fantasy), but I totally agree with your point. There are like 99 other shows we can throw in the same category...SATC is no more real than those shows nor is it cornering the market on anything. | |
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jani1
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Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 181 | |
| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:38:47 PM | can't possibly be because they recognize that the four leads are f*cking up their own lives entirely of their own merit, and see that in themselves, can it?
Yes, that is one of the reasons why we can connect with it, as several people already said here.
The women behave equally moronically in some cases as the men on the show, so I'm still boggled as to why anyone would take offence to this show really.
Exactly. I keep saying that too. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:50:22 PM |
I don't think the show has ruined dating. I think it is a reflection of the times.
Reflection of the times??? Life in NYC isn't anything like that show portrayed.....not for the average person anyway. I met a girl a few years ago from the midwest who was itching to move to NYC because of this show. Did she really think life would be like that for her? I think she did. Would it have been? Definitely not!
Fact is that television as a whole has distorted how life really is to most of America. They don't call it the boob tube for nothing. One of my favorite quotes about television is this. "Television is the petri dish that produces idiots."
Television ruining dating should be the least of our concerns. Little by little it's ruining our society by keeping people dumb and numb to what's really going on around us. The average household has their TV on for 7 hours a day. WOW! That's crazy!
Also, if you and your significant other seem to be having less and less sex.....get rid of the TV in the bedroom. I read somewhere not long ago that couples with a television in their bedroom have 30% less sex than couples with no TV in the bedroom. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:52:15 PM | The show itself? No.
The mindless drones who take on the TV persona and live according to a fictional TV show? Maybe, but they mostly ruin it for themselves.
given just how badly men are portrayed on it.
Honestly, I think the women are portrayed worse. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:17:56 PM |
Huh? If you believe that a tv series and/or movie has effected dating you are way off. lol The television and movie industries have no fault in this. Lets not shift the blame/focus on whatever underlying issues may be present.
Sabrosura, You're not going to love me anymore after this but I have to say I disagree. Television has had a huge influence shaping our behavior. Just as other media outlets - such as glamour magazines - have set the standard for what makes a woman "beautiful" or "sexy" is (weighs 100 pounds and wears a size zero) television has done the same and much more in how we live our lives. Not all aspects of our lives, but enough to make a difference.
Since Sex in the City is the topic here, that show has influenced more women than you might want to believe....not just their dating and shopping habits but how they percieve men and sex as well.
We all are effected by the media, hollywood and television to some degree....some more than others though.  | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:44:45 PM | Well if that's truly the case ^^^ in some men's minds, then I honestly have to laugh and wonder who is truly living in a fantasy land. What, where "glamour magazines are setting the standard for what makes a woman 'beautiful' and 'sexy', and that's enough to make a difference to you? (since you just said it did....  )
To me, that's the statement of someone who can't separate reality from real life, no offence. But then, never mind some posters bringing up shows like Baywatch and Bachelor or whatnot....it gets even simpler than that...look at many shows since way back when, both people and cartoons...let's go back to The Honeymooners, and also the Flintstones. Tubby, round, bonehead guy with a slender, attractive wife....all the way through to now, with shows like King of Queens, and Family Guy (actual people and cartoon once again)...again, tubby, boneheaded guy with slender, attractive (although now, no-nonsense) wife....and yet you don't hear many women complaining about how unrealistic those shows are, or how much it's "set them back in dating", eh?
Meh...tv shows will only influence how you live your life, if you're off in lala land and not sure even how to HAVE a real life, far as I can see it. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:55:33 PM | Did 'sex and the city' ruin dating? Did POF ruin dating? Did feminists ruin dating? Did 'modern man' ruin dating?
NO
Nothing RUINED dating ... tons of happy couples out there ... so it's basically you and your expectations (not excluding myself) :) | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:20:48 PM | sweetness-one:
I think you may have misunderstood the point of my post. Surely you've noticed the effect that glamour mags and other media soucres have had on young women. These same young girls who practically starve themselves in order to look like some waif of a model in a Calvin Klein ad. My point was the effect that television has on ALL of us...not just men. However, I do believe that women have been more effected (or portrayed) by it in a negative way than man have. I think you'll agree with me on that.
There's no one on this end of the computer who's living in a fantasy land. I'm very much in tune with what's real and what's not. If you haven't noticed the influence that television has had on society, you haven't been paying attention. If you feel that television or ads have never shaped the way you think.....think about the last time you bought something on impulse, or perhaps bought name brand instead of a generic. Those are just two small examples...but don't kid yourself....you've been effected too. And that sweetness-one was my point.....simple as that. This wasn't a men vs women thing for me. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:46:23 PM | Ah, okay, I stand corrected then, I did misunderstand you...somewhat. One point I think I do have to disagree with you on (and yes, I'll probably take a beating here for this too) is...to be honest, I DON'T see so many young women "practically starving themselves" in my neighbourhood to look like a picture in a fashion magazine, or someone on tv. Honestly, I don't. I see a lot of young girls overweight, and a lot of kids overweight as well. So I've always been boggled by how "Hollywood can influence so many in such a big way", since that's not what I see in regular-day life, is all. But, since I'm not dating young women, then I'm not probably paying the same attention as you are to that.
But, when you asked did I ever buy something on impulse...well yeah, I occasionally buy a rose bush that I know I'm paying a few dollars more than I should for, but I buy it anyway. I can't resist passing by a garden nursery without taking some lil plant home with me, so I guess I'm just not a shoes gal? lol  | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:08:11 PM | sweetness-one:
You're absolutely right, there are too many overweight young kids out there....and adults too. These young women who are practically starving themselves may not be the majority but they do exist and that was only one example. Without getting too much into it there's also fashion, merchandise, hairstyles, cars. neighborhood people choose to live in..etc etc.
I wouldn't consider someone buying a rose bush a victim of television or media marketing. You may not be a "shoes type gal". Good for you and lucky him....more closest space for your significant other. LOL You can't honestly tell me though, that you don't have something in your closet with a designer label on it...something that you just had to have but didn't really need. If you can honestly tell me that you haven't, then be prepared for a few proposals from guys on here.....you'd be a rare find. LOL Not that you wouldn't be a good catch if you had. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:19:41 PM | Lol...nothing in my closet but my perfume...I'm a snob about that, not so much about labels, but about what I like....been wearing the same scent for 17 years now, and it's my only "ME" indulgence...well that and white cheddar cheese, lol....
Thanks for your compliments, though. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:27:44 PM | Like you, I've been wearing the same cologne for many years now...not by choice though. My sister keeps buying me the same damn cologne every freakin year for x-mas and my birthday! I just can't seem to get rid of the shit! LOL
BTW...you're welcome.  | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:47:25 PM | I liked the show. It had good writing.
But one thing I noticed, maybe no one else did, was that Carrie was a total flake. How many times did she find some crazy reason to leave Mr Big and run to some other guy?
Hello? | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:12:10 PM | I always quite liked the show. My flatmate would watch it religiously and I'd often join her. The writing in it (I'm a writer myself) was exceptionally good, and the chemistry between the women was very obvious. Don't get me wrong, there are things I don't like about it. Carrie seems to be trying to represent "everywomen", but she's so neurotic and irritating I think the writers may have been closet misogynists.
The concept of "just not that into you" was surprisingly powerful at the time, and fitted nicely into that storyline, but it's become a cliche now, unfortunately, and often simply isn't accurate.
I disagree with the ealier comments made by some of the guys that all the men in the show are complete freaks. Mamma's boys, fetishists, etc. The fact is a lot of men really ARE like that. And there's a hell of a lot more scope for humour in that than just not sharing the same worldview, etc.
Still, there are good men. Despite his flaws, Mr Big is actually a pretty cool character. Miranda's husband Steve is an out-and-out nice guy. Aiden is extremely nice, good looking, romantic, etc - it's Carrie who bails on that one. Harry (Charlotte's second husband) is undeniably nice, while at the same time no oil painting. And if there's a nicer (or better looking... I'm a straight man, and even I think he's hot!) man on TV than Smith Jarrod I've yet to see him.
You could say that Sex in the City has taught women bad dating habits... but look at their marrying habits. They've all ended up with someone really nice that they truly love. I can see no objection to that.
The men in S&TC are painted as pretty badly flawed, but hey... the women are too. Carrie cheated on Aiden. Samantha cheated on Smith (early on). Miranda used Steve pretty thoroughly and Charlotte's comments to Harry that caused their (admittedly temporary) breakup were well and truly out of line.
In the end if you think women might be distorted in some way by S&TC you do women a disservice. They know fully well this is a fantasy world with fantasy people. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:10:02 AM | Well, let's see.
One of the things with Miranda is that from the first episode, she was portrayed as an independent woman. A lawyer that didn't have time to let a man into her life. She had a few relationships off and on. Steve had to sort of shake her out of her man hate.
Also, I've always considered Steve rather average looking. Miranda seemed to date a lot of average looking guys, except for when she dated that Billie D. Williams looking sports coach.
I like Steve in that he allows Miranda to push him around for a bit, but he still has the limits to push back when she needs it. Miranda is just a very pushy woman.
She put herself through a lot of unnecessary suffering and I think any woman could see that.
Charlotte was obsessed with the, "Someday My Prince Will Come" syndrome. The entire time I watched her with her first husband, I knew he wasn't good enough for her. Everyone could see she was caught up in the magic of it all. Then she found out she couldn't have a baby and it really went downhill. The Jewish guy, even if he is a lawyer, isn't exceptionally attractive, and helped her break out of her ideals quite a bit.
Harry had what the first husband didn't have. He had the ability to work with Charlotte and help her grow as a person, instead of sidestepping.
Carrie has a lot of issues. She's always looking for things to feel just right. Big has this same issue. It's part of why they were together off and on for 10 years. They're the only people who can really put up with each other.
I liked Aiden and what Charlotte did to him was pretty ****ed up, especially since Big was married at the time. Then they got back together and I didn't like him as much because he was being a hardass. At the same time, Charlotte deserved it.
The jazz musician had nothing going for him except sex. He was an interesting person in his own right, but not right for Carrie.
The bookwriter dumped her with a post-it. That's completely screwed up. It showed real imaturity. Actually, all of his butthurt leading up to the post-it made him look like nothing but a whiney ****. If you have a problem with your S.O.(over a freakin book) you deal with it. You don't walk away with your tail between your legs and whine later like your Tucks medicated pads have razor edges. Burger was disappointing because he seemed so open and so willing to tell it as it is on the first episode, then turned into a little ****.
Alexander Petrovsky was a major player that dated soo many women. I believe he was a successful artist? He started romancing Carrie and even Carrie complained about it because he was going to heavy with it at times. She took him to McDonalds for an American meal. Um, He did have all of this prestige attached to him, but he was also a man who didn't want children and turned colder and colder by the day. He brought Carrie to Paris and never had time for her, or would leave her alone while he'd be off networking. He also told her her friend would probably die of cancer, to try and calm her down(wtf?).
Samantha is interesting to watch. Even though I am nothing like her, I enjoyed her sexual freedom. It was amazing to me that this woman could have sex whenever with whoever she wanted and be perfectly fine with it. She was also the oldest of the bunch. I remember one relationship she had with a really rich guy who cheated on her and she broke it off because, "I love you but I love myself more." I would say that Samantha is the only one I truy recall attempting to golddig. She tried it once with an elderly man, and once she saw his old butt, she ran right out of there. She also had a relationship with a passionate European woman, which she had to break off.
Thing about her relationship with Jared Smith was that although he was younger, he showed her how to commit. He showed her that it's ok to hold hands with a guy. He showed her that if she lost her hair through chemo, she didn't have to start looking elsewhere for a supportive man.
I guess this all seems so glamorous. To me, it seems like a masochistic experience.
Actually, now that I think about it, Samantha did do a post office worker...on her office desk. 
I would not expect them to date guys who worked retail, but if they did, I'd still watch. If they can afford to get into Chelsea clubs at least once a week, I'm going to expect them to look for guys who can afford to buy drinks in a Chelsea club.
One movie I really like is The Joy Luck Club, based on the book by Amy Tan. It deals with growing as a woman, daughterhood, motherhood, and being a wife. It's rather interesting. It's also a tear jerker, so I don't expect men to see it. I recall most of the husbands in that movie having fairly impressive jobs as well, but the focal point was how the women dealt with familial matters and how the men treated them. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:27:25 AM | Actually the only "message" I got from it was that you can be a skank well into your old age and still get a chump to carry all your baggage.
I suppose it's a reflection on times. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:39:28 AM |
And if there's a nicer (or better looking... I'm a straight man, and even I think he's hot!) man on TV than Smith Jarrod I've yet to see him.
Amen to that! Holy CRAP that man is beautiful...
Miranda seemed to date a lot of average looking guys, except for when she dated that Billie D. Williams looking sports coach.
That would be Blair Underwood looking Nicks doctor....he looked exactly like Blair Underwood...yes you're right, he was probably the best looking man she dated on the show...
But one thing I noticed, maybe no one else did, was that Carrie was a total flake. How many times did she find some crazy reason to leave Mr Big and run to some other guy?
Actually the only "message" I got from it was that you can be a skank well into your old age and still get a chump to carry all your baggage.
Comments like the two above make me wonder if they've seen the right show...I don't get where they'd get this idea...
OT: It was not something to model after, it was a reflection on NY, dating, friendship, work, life. The men and women were exaggerated versions of what New York was at the time - and I am sure unless you live in the city there's a lot you can't really identify with. As I said before, I think the main premise or topic of the show is that men may come and go but friendships are forever.
And when it comes to women, yes the show may show extravagance and expense, but all of those women (even Charlotte who worked art galleries) went to school, got a job in NY and paid for their own crap. Just because Carrie's shoes were extremely priced doesn't mean anyone gave them to her - that I could see (outside of making Tatem O'Neill cough up a pair at one point), she always bought her own - the message isn't take from others, it's be successful and buy whatever you want with your money.
Also when it comes to fitness, I like the fact that they threw the girls into MANY gym classes and showed some or all of them at some point making sure they got their workouts in (Charlotte = running/tennis, Miranda = gym/marathon running, Samantha = organic foods/gym classes, and Carrie = random gym classes with her friends). Maybe THAT could rub off on some of the younger women out there.
The men and Manhattan are backdrop, but the message to me was go to school follow your dreams and be successful - have good friends, take care of your self and enjoy your life. How can that be a bad thing? | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:48:57 AM | | Yeah this is about dating in New York, Manhatten not dating like in Burnley, or New Foundland, or even in Winnipeg. But women believe they can date like this anywhere or they want to like this...whatever. I'd like to go to a Chelsea Club....the one in England and hangout with the Chelsea Headhunters and have a pint or two, or perhaps hangout with some guys and gals from the Inter-City Firm. Those are real people that you can find anywhere not just in the glamour and lights of New York or L.A. or Paris. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:36:59 AM |
Yeah this is about dating in New York, Manhatten not dating like in Burnley, or New Foundland, or even in Winnipeg
Dating in Manhattan for men and women is nothing like the show makes it out to be....not for 99% of them anyhow. The show is pure fantasy....and sorry ladies, but who's more of a sucker for fantasy than you are. Now there's nothing wrong with letting the imagination go wild from time to time but any women who truly expects her social life to be like this show is only setting herself up for disappointment.
I know there are a lot of smart ladies out there who realize this but you'd be surprised how mant aren't....men too probably. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:21:04 AM |
I think what the men are mad about is to find out that women actually compare *equipment* notes and talk trashier then they do and we are ok with it... or is it maybe that we do not *need* them as much as we used to?
Neither. Guess again.
Miranda married a bartender.
Wrong. She "settled" for someone who eventually owns the bar. Remember, they were on and off more than a couple of times, and for a long stretch he was only able to remain in her life by being the free baby sitter who always bent over backwards to accommodate her (the baby resulting from a pity sex incident after he lost a ball - now there's some cheesy symbolism for you). And while not of the same professional class as Miranda, he had just enough ambition, wherewithal, and that sort of jazz to be acceptable to her, but a large part of it was that she didn't have much of a clue as to how to do better while her biological clock was going off (which is why she kept the baby). He wasn't "just some bartender", and it's quite clear throughout the series that he wasn't her first or ideal choice. | |
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| Did Sex and the City ruin dating?
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:45:56 AM | Went out to see a movie last Friday. You should have seen the ton of hotties walking out of Sex in the City dress to the 9s! Maybe I'm looking for love in the wrong place!
 JF | |
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