| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:21:40 PM |
If the car question really bothers people so much why not just put "prefer not to say" and be done with it ? Because the,...."prefer not to say" ,.....does answer the question,...... are you married,..."prefer not to say" ,...answer ,....yup,...S/He's married do you smoke,....."prefer not to say" ,....answer,...yup,...like a chimney,..... Do you work,....."prefer not to say" ,.....S/He either isn't working or has a shitty job,...none of which they care to boast about,.... do you want kids,....."prefer not to say" ,....no S/he doesn't they already have enough of their own to worry about,....but for the right certain someone,....anything is possible do you have,....do you do,....will you do,.....do you want,..... "prefer not to say" says it all loud and clear ______________________________________________________________ Now having said that,....I must be the dumbest or most naive' person on this site,.... because it never even occurred to me that by saying I am dependent on the buses might make me un-datable,... or have someone think I may have lost my license,....for having been a bad girl somewhere along the line,.... nor is anyone to assume that I want or need them to pick me up,...something I won't allow or do, for safety reason's,.... I mention it only to allow enough time notice when meeting someone,.... I guess assumptions are bad all around,.... thanks for the eye opener,.... | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:53:55 PM |
If the car question really bothers people so much why not just put "prefer not to say" and be done with it ? I did put "prefer not to say".
Now people will make the assumptions that:
-I have no vehicle
-I have no driver's licence
-I expect them to be my chauffer
-etc
-etc
None of those are true in my case. But people glancing at my profile will assume them to be. | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:18:11 PM | I wish they had a,...." none of your business" ,....option,.... or an,..."I will fill you in on that later" option
because some of the information by rights is none of our business until you get to know someone better,.... something usually done in eventual letters,...phone conversations,....and face to face meetings,....
because it is true,...people do assume,....  | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:31:17 PM |
because some of the information by rights is none of our business I'll agree.
If I'm getting to know someone on here, I have no problem letting her know my level of education, what type of a vehicle I drive, what I do for a living, as well as other things.
But I'd rather not be judged by some random stranger on the internet, who is seeing my profile for the first time, who is prepared to make stupid assumptions about me (possitive or negative) based entirely on my answers (or non-answers) to those question.s | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluen
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:41:24 AM | Ask yourself these questions...
Do you really want to meet a person who only cares about the car you drive?
no no no
Do you think a person so superficial is worth the time and effort of getting to know?
no no no
also i want to add this alot of people im not saying all who drive get help from their parents
i dont have that luxery i make it on my own and i choose not to drive eether and feed the expensive gas companys wallet
i think it just sux being judged by whether u drive a car or not and what kinda car u drive if u do | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:22:56 PM |
I did put "prefer not to say".
Now people will make the assumptions that:
-I have no vehicle
-I have no driver's licence
-I expect them to be my chauffer
-etc
-etc
None of those are true in my case. But people glancing at my profile will assume them to be. .
Well at least you wont get messaged by presumptious types | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 7/10/2008 5:14:18 PM |
also i want to add this alot of people im not saying all who drive get help from their parents
Uhh....okay? *scratching head here*, sorry.
I really still don't see why this is such a big deal. For every POF category that's ever been created, someone has had an opposition to it. Frankly, if anyone's opposed to the whole "do you have a car?" thing for whatever reason....wouldn't you just consider that to be one more little step in your weeding-out process, if you find that someone won't talk to you or meet you because you don't have a car? I really don't see it as being an issue of being "affluent" or not...if I lived in NYC or Toronto where wonderful transit systems exist, I probably wouldn't have a car either, and wouldn't care if anyone I met did either.
Geez, it's not like the drop-down menu is asking what TYPE of car you have, after all.  | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 7/10/2008 8:30:23 PM | Well at least you wont get messaged by presumptious types
I really still don't see why this is such a big deal. For every POF category that's ever been created, someone has had an opposition to it. Frankly, if anyone's opposed to the whole "do you have a car?" thing for whatever reason....wouldn't you just consider that to be one more little step in your weeding-out process, These are good points.
I guess it will weed oout shallow and/or presumptious types.
however
What pisses me off about adding more of these categories is: this site is helping to create more of those preasumptious types, by being more accomodating such people.
With less of these drop down menus to select from, people would actually have to read profiles, and exchange correspondence with people, and actually get to know them.
By creating more drop-downs, it gives more people reasons to make stupid assumptions of people based on the answers they select, and immediately jump to conclussions about people, without bothering to get to know them.
I'd one of the people who voices opposition to almost every POF category created. Always for the same reason, whatever the category:
I'd prefer a site that caters to people who'd take time getting to know others.
Rather than a site that caters to the people who want to select their mate based entirely on the choices in a bunch of drop-down menus.
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 7/11/2008 12:06:49 AM | thats the point too many people care more about what u have instead of who u are as a person
thats my point about the car question
its a materialistic question
thats the point i think its shallow
im honest i put no i dont have a car
if i get less email then so be it
im still gonna sleep at night | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 5/11/2009 8:59:19 AM | Ya that car thing should go, has my vote, but the site is the most awesome thing Iu have seen before, I would donate if I had money right now just to help you keep it going. But im sure your doing fine hopefully.
Just ya we really don't need to know if cars are needed, also the Imeem length of 30 seconds really hurts. ( Unless thats something I did wrong ) but it wont play the full song from Imeem anymore.
All in all Im really happy with the site though. | |
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| Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 5/11/2009 10:20:49 AM | | There is a woman here with whom I have been in contact that does indeed own a car, a very cool '59 Cadillac. The issue lies in that she is wheelchair-bound and cannot drive. Therefore, the fact she actually does own a car is somewhat of a moot point. There are a great many who don't own a car due to their location. If you live in downtown Chicago, or worse, Manhattan, having a car is more of a burden than it's worth, and is essentially unnecessary anyway. If you live somewhere with a distinct lack of public transportation, not having a car is a bit foolish, and possibly borderline selfish, if it requires others to chauffeur you around. There are also a great many who may have a car, but choose not to drive unless absolutely necessary due to weather, and walk or use a bicycle for health and environmental reasons. All that said, if you need alternative explanations for the car questions, just put it into the text of your profile. Jeez louise, how hard can this be? | |
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JKLF96
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Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 115 | |
| Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 5/11/2009 10:29:25 AM | I don't mind the feature, I live in a very small town,
usualy have to travel a 1/2 hr for a date, So if they have a car I'm more likley to date them, I don't wanna be the one driving all the time...Not a rule I go by but I do consider it.. | |
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| Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 5/11/2009 11:56:11 AM |
So if they have a car I'm more likley to date them, I don't wanna be the one driving all the time...Not a rule I go by but I do consider it.
I consider that too, but not just from POF. There was a time when I felt relegated to being the one who drives. The chauffeur. Anywhere we were going, I'd pick her up, we'd go, and I'd drop her off at the end of the night.
But in the last decade or so, if they don't have a vehicle of their own, then they're not dateable. I don't wanna be the chauffeur anymore. Beyond just the cost of gas and the annoyance of "I need a favor" which will involve a ride somewhere...it's not practical for a woman to be without her own mode of transportation. I don't care if she drives a Citroen from the war era...as long as it gets her where she needs to go. Dating another who doesn't drive and/or have her own vehicle is not something I'm willing to do again. | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:53:18 PM | | I'm fairly new to this & realize this isn't the appropriate thread, but hopefully someone could help me find it. Question: I thought I saw a tab just a few days ago that said something like "women who think you're hot" & even emailed a woman shown there. Now I don't see that choice. Has it been removed. I did try to find an answer elsewhere w/o success. | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 9/13/2009 4:33:45 PM |
I definitely agree with you argument. Not having a car as either as a desire to have a small carbon footprint or for financial reasons or both of these, should not be a mandatory declaration on a site like this.
So what type of site should it be on?
The question only asks if you have a car or not have a car.
It does not ask why you do not have a car.
So to interpret that question to mean anything more than what is stated is pure speculation on your part. | |
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| NEW FEATURE: Listing of Car or no car unfairly penalizes less affluent
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:17:28 PM | OK every one has a DIFFERENT point of view, try this one on for size 
IN NY City it might turn into taxi dates, my NY friends don't have cars
In Phx Az the question might be "Do you live in your car"
Should there be an "OTHER WEELS" choice ?
some folk only have their Motor Home, or
use motor cycles as their only means of transport
I've met guys that only have their horse ( yes you can get a DUI ) on horse back
so let POF insert an OTHER box in the drop down & let the poster add a note in their profile
........... ON the othe side ............
POF please add another.... "ARE/ DO you to the list; .. are you homeless?
do you have your own computer?..
. in this NEW economy, they aren't too far off track ,
now THAT MAY unfairly penalizes less affluent . | |
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