| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 5/26/2008 6:59:30 PM | NiceGirlTam Said
J EEZUS, why are you bringing up the fact of my being pregnant? That has nothing to do with my posting about my dating experience. Unlike a lot of you on here, I have no shame and I make it clear about my situation in my profile for all to see that I don't suprise anybody. If they persue me anyhow, I assume they are willing to accept me in my situation. And I don't think being pregnant should limit me either, but I do realize that dating will be scarce as oppose to not being pregnant. OK. I can only speak for myself so here is the way i see it. Your four months pregnant and technically still married. That's a bad situation to any man who is interested for real. As i said in my last post that last guy just thought you would be a easy lay since you were already pregnant. But for us mature older guys that really want something with a woman besides sex when we see a woman in your predicament we might be willing to take on every thing with you but when we see pregnant and just separated we know that can be a huge problem. You might decide to go back with your husband. That leaves some poor sap with his heart broken if he is lucky. Theses situations have been know to get men killed when they get caught in the middle between husband and preg, wife. The next time you start off a thread be more clear and then things might not trail off topic. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 5/26/2008 7:01:18 PM | To be honest, age does not promise maturity.I believe that experience does.Perhaps,
the coward you mentioned had not fully evolved as a man.Relationships ,as you know
takes a certain amount of equality and emotional attachment.I do not pretend to have
all the answers.I am just as mortal.I only wish you the SUN in hopes of reflecting diffrent perspective... | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:11:02 AM | In fact, were I a woman in my 20's or 30's, and I wanted an "older" man, I would probably have to ask myself why he is still single well into his 40's and 50's anyway
Maybe because his wife of 20 years pastaway . Most of the guys I know in their 20's and 30's aren't looking for the one their looking for the one for tonight , but you really
can't lump any group together symply because of their age . I have found that people who have had a great long term relationship tend to look for another one and people who have not yet had one don't know what their missing . | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 5/27/2008 1:51:57 PM | I would be considered an older man to some on here. I'd be quite a catch, if I can toot my own horn for a minute. 
Seriously, I would entertain the thought of dating a woman in her mid to late 20s if she was mature enough to express herself on my level. I'm through playing games. To be quite honest, I can see Tam's point about him lying about being married. Unfortunately, there are some real SOB's out there that are only after the poon. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:09:33 PM | I don't believe any valid conclusion or decision could be made about any group, demographic, or other category of people based on a sampling of one. All this post tells me is that one man, who happens to be an older man (whatever you are defining older as), turned out to be the biggest coward you have ever met. For that matter, the opinions of your peers are just opinions, as you've found out.
By the way, Tam, you could just about pass for Britney Spears, at least to my eyes. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:42:05 AM | here's my 2 cents ,not that anyone asked for it .......
relationships take alot of work.Everyone will let you down in life eventually and forgiveness is the key on that.We are all human.We all have mental needs and problems,some of us worse than others.
Finding an older guy that is a great guy that was abandoned may be difficult.Finding a guy like that that wants to deal with an babies daddy coming in and out of the relationship may be even more difficult as I woud view that as a threat and interruption,because obviously mommy will have feelings for the babies daddy ....
Ultimately I look at what is best for the baby........ and in time I hope my babies Mommy will calm down and give me another chance at giving our baby a Mommy and a Daddy ...... but you have to decide if the pain of a relationship is worth the benefits and try to understand that men and women have different mental and physical needs in life and a Marriage is a Business Relationship as well as an emotional one .......
and you have to back your spouse over your parents and siblings
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:34:14 AM | Aging is inevitable.
Maturing is optional.
How stable or mature a person is has little to do with their age. But from going on one date with one insecure or unstable or immature "older" man (what's "older" anyway? My age? Muahahaha!) jumping to the conclusion that "all older men" were less mature or less secure than 23-yr-olds is immature, too. Every person is different, and except for toddlers maybe there's not one age group whose members act all the same.
And on a more individual note: If I was a man (regardless of age), going on a date with a (married) woman who's five months pregnant and claims to be a heavy smoker I'd do the cowardish thing for sure and run - not walk - away, because that woman would obviously not have straightened out her priorities but acted irresponsibly. And I would truly be afraid to let someone irresponsible enter my life. So maybe his being "cowardish" was actually his showing maturity. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/3/2008 8:49:27 AM | I think that this original poster got a little confused.
Personal integrity & morals is independent of age. It's more of a permanant personality trait. You either have it or you don't regardless of how old you are. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:47:40 AM |
I hear a lot of my female peers talking about how they'd rather date an "older" man because he's mature, stable, and blah blah blah. So NOT true! To be honest, I think they are worse than dating men my age, at least in my experience they have been. For the longest time, I wanted to date an older man and recently, I got involved with one. He turned out to be the biggest coward I'd ever met and he was certainly not anymore of a man than the men I dated who were my age. I'm glad I had that experience because it made a long time fantasy look like an illusion to me and I certainly will no longer look at age as a factor anymore.
It cracks me up when a young girl has a bad experience; it then means that ALL older men are now worse. Grow up. You seem to have problems choosing a guy of ANY age. Women choose poorly and then all mens fault.
When you are older you are more mature, dont think you know it all, and you are more into relationships then just having sex. You are financially more secure and more responsible. When I was in high school and college many guys I know would cheat with multiple girls not caring who they would hurt.
Dont' do a post like this which is pointless; you have one experience and now the whole world is that way. See, you still have a lot of maturing to do. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:53:23 AM | Mt. Tam Girl; you are immature and think you know it all IMHO. Of COURSE you insinuated dating an older man is a bad idea; you said"I'll never do it again". If that isn't a generalization then I dont know what is.
Taking your smart argument, I have had a bad experience with a younger girl and a women my age. I guess I'll never date any women then because of these experiences.
You chose poorly. That is your fault. If he's so bad, what does that make you for you picking him? Your defensiveness and your inability to see what people are saying, shows your immaturity and the very reason why when a guy is younger, he's worse at relationships. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:35:22 PM | | I once had an 82 year old, one legged patient repeatedly hit on me. I recall him saying "I know I could make you happy". As I look at my dating experiences...I realize now that maybe he couldn't do any worse........maybe he was the one. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:40:18 PM | Funny how the OP can make her judgment about dating older men based on the ONE older man that she's dated.
If you're looking for someone to "solve your dating issues" as the subject of this thread suggests, you're in for a long, miserable experience. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:03:19 PM | | I agree some older men are really great guys and can make you very happy. Age is just a number you can date a guy 10 years or more older and he could act like hes 10yrs old. I try not to judge on age but if he is mature and i get along with him. If you have dating issues keep dating you will figure it out. Im not going to stop trying. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:39:39 AM | The OP said:
I'm glad I had that experience because it made a long time fantasy look like an illusion to me and I certainly will no longer look at age as a factor anymore.
So basically, you had this fantasy built up in your head that an older man was going to be some kind of knight in shining armor, and when that wasn't the case, you decided that men older than yourself are immature and cowardly.
I think you need to stop living in a dream world, and get some therapy for that anger you seem to have bottled up inside. | |
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| Dating older men is NOT going to solve your dating issues
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:49:14 AM | | How did you get that from one sentence. I never said all older men were immature a lot of different aged people are. Sounds like maybe you have had therapy for anger so now you can suggest it. I dont know if you meant that towards me but i know the reality with men. | |
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