| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:56:29 PM | | Satisfaction..yes...letting off steam when i've been wronged..yes..i have the time and the energy..besides, it only takes a minute or two.I have belief in the good of human kind that a person can change for the better, especially if its brought to their attention..will it work every time?/NO, of course not..but if i can make someone (females) realize what they have done, explain why it was wrong to just 'disappear' (as someone suggested), even if its just 1 person, then i feel i can leave this place in a better place than it was before.In my personal experiences, 95% ARE losers, and i certainly want them to move on, but they WILL move on knowing how i feel and knowing that they did wrong.You might call my agenda..changing the way the world thinks..one person at a time.I don't really care if she resents me or whatever, the party is over sweetheart, i just dont let them crawl under a rock and hide..or let them bury their heads in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong.My responses are brutally honest but most can't handle the truth, because they have been lying for so long..i guess i kinda give them a wakeup call..and yes..it makes me feel better. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:00:46 PM | lol some women just arnt into you and theres nothing you can do about it.
i went on a date with this one guy...he took me out for lunch and we went for a walk...i wasnt attracted to him physically but i can give a man a chance.
i laughed at his jokes and smiled because i was uncomfortable and didnt know what to do. I am not going to see him again .
because...his personality sucked...while he was trying to be "nice" to people he acted like a****and gave me the impression that he thought he was better than everyone he came across. He was making buisness calls thoughout the date that really didnt need to be made and i'm sure he just called the people to try and impress me. He was fake...i could tell he was trying to act like something he wasnt. DONT DO THAT...and then to top it off he was gawking at my body the entire time and tried to grab my boob.
he probobly thought the date went well...i wanted to vomit.
if you want to impress a woman just be you...act like you would act around any other person you know and let her come to you...have you seen the movie hitch?
she goes 90...you go 10
dont go 100 if shes not moving...it will not be sucessful. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:05:23 PM | Wow, OP - that happened to you? Awful!
I met a great guy on here, we exchanged emails for a few weeks, met for lunch - had a great time (he paid although I offered to go dutch).
Afterwards he said he'd really enjoyed the lunch and so had I - we decided to keep in touch. A week goes by. Nothing. Into the second week I get a breathless email - you know, like this:
"..so busy, hard to find time. Gotta get back to work" kind of thing. Then, nothing.
Heck! What happened? I just don't understand men sometimes!
I think people are pretty similar - men and women that is. No one wants to reject another human being face to face. It's just lunch for heaven's sakes, so you smile, make a few jokes, be hospitable and interested in what the other person says, tell them how you enjoyed their company and bye-bye. No hurt feelings. That's all - end of story as touchdown says. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:13:17 PM |
i usually flush 'em out..for personal reasons i wanna know the 'why' part. For hints here's what i do and it works 95% of the time. Call block your number , if she accepts it, you're in..however she will probably say 'i have to unload groceries..or i just stepped outta the shower..etc..'can i call u back'?? DON"T let her off the hook..say this will only take a minute..'Why did you sooo disrespect me and just blow me off'?? They will prolly give some lame-azz excuse..but at least you got thru..(u may also use a number she's not familar with...(a friends' cell..your fax line...etc.) Trust me it works.I leave her with the thoughts that she was pretty shitty for doin' what she did and how she did it but women are wuzzies..when it comes to saying..'hey i'm just not into u'..etc..deal with it..and move on.
Dude, that's ultra creepy.
I'm curious if people really pick up when you block your number. I don't. If it comes through as a blocked or private call, I won't answer. I already know, by the fact that they blocked their number, that I don't want to talk to them. Ditto for an unfamiliar number. If a number doesn't exist in my directory then odds are it's someone I don't want to talk to.
A blow off is someone saying to you through their actions that they aren't interested. While it sucks, I don't understand why people get so torn up about it and take it so personally. We have all had it happen. Words are fairly meaningless in the grand scheme of things. So.. you need to know the exact reason? Why? Does it really make a difference? While it is courteous to tell someone in simple terms that you aren't interested in them, I don't think it's disrespectful to let ones actions do the talking for them. Either way, it's clear that this person doesn't want to see or talk to you again. What more do you need to know beyond that? | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:17:14 PM | Listen guys...and girls..i have an almost foolproof way of how the first date went..whether its just lunch or whatever..ALWAYS ask for a 2nd date BEFORE the first date ends..that will give you a pretty good indication..if she stumbles over her words...or acts wishy-washy..its not a good sign..however, if she says sure!! you wanna go to the beach and have a picnic?/or how about a bike ride on sunday in the park?? etc..etc..
Also, make sure you pin her down to a day & time..at least make sure she pencils you in in her PDA..
Ifshe cannot make a committment for a 2nd date..(unles she has plans to go to a wedding or funeral,vacation or open heart surgery) then its prolly a lost cause and i would not expect a 2nd date. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:20:37 PM | | Maybe you see a deer and say where's my gun but I don't! And if I see someone about to shoot a deer then that's when I say where's my gun. | |
|
| |
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:29:05 PM | Let me say one thing to 'prurire' and many others who 'wimp out'. You ladies say you always want alot of 'communication & honesty' , right?? Well, take a look in the mirror, sweetheart.yes, i want to know the reason/s and its more than just being courteous..its about being respectful. He took the time & effort, prolly many e-mails, several phone calls, maybe even a few text msgs.before he met you, and you dont have the common decency or respect to tell him you just arent interested??
Some people see things as they are and do nothing, i see things that never were and ask 'why' or 'why not'?
You're obviously one of 'those' ppl. yet you seem intelligent enough to know its wrong..why not make a change?? Altho you may seem heartless and nothing bothers you, just once..put yourself in the others person's shoes and ask if it was the 'right' thing to do. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:30:11 PM |
Also, make sure you pin her down to a day & time..at least make sure she pencils you in in her PDA..
Ifshe cannot make a committment for a 2nd date..(unles she has plans to go to a wedding or funeral,vacation or open heart surgery) then its prolly a lost cause and i would not expect a 2nd date.
In a first MEETING (where I've never met a person before), I would find that pushy even if I did have an interest...anything that's agenda based for me is a turn off. And of course if I wasn't interested I'd decline...
If it was an actual "date", we'd already know we had a mutual interest or we wouldn't even be there...therefore either we'd naturally discuss the next time, or we'd catch up on it on the phone within the next couple days.
I had a guy I met for dinner once try to buy a gift certificate (from the waitress, no less) for the next time we met for dinner...I'm sure he was trying to gauge my reaction or corner me into it but I found it to be just...weird. It sorta freaked me out, and it was something that it was obvious he was waiting to do the whole time we were talking. Ick.
It should happen naturally - unless she REALLY likes you and you know she does, if it comes off like you're trying to as you put it "pin" her into a second date (or meeting or whatever), expect her to be turned off... | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:39:33 PM | | The agenda is..Are u interested or not'?? Lets not play games..you can do that at 20..but should not at 50..of course you'd decline if you weren't interested..thats my whole point.Although i'd have to charge these dudes for specifics..The key is to be subtle..buying a gift cert. well..lets just say i laughed pretty hard.There are many other clues..both verbal and non-verbal..and women sometimes send mixed signals..so its up to the dude to figure it all out. Most of the time, when i do the 'pinning', i already know there prolly wont be a 2nd date..i just want to hear it from her lips.It keeps me from wasting time and energy into the future on something thats going nowhere. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:52:35 PM |
Let me say one thing to 'prurire' and many others who 'wimp out'.You ladies say you always want alot of 'communication & honesty' , right??
I didn't say I wimped out but you are free and welcome to make any assumptions that fit your agenda of being right. I said I don't get why people get so torn up about it. Non verbal communication is still communication. Dropping off is about as honest as you are going to get. They don't want to see you again, so they don't. What more do you need to know?
I mean, do you really want the specifics?
Reasons I have declined a 2nd date:
The person smelled bad. The person was hateful to the wait staff. The person discussed his vomit from the previous weekend during our meal. The person couldn't kiss (trust me, NO ONE ever has had any complaints.. it doesn't make you a good kisser). The person posted misleading pics and/or misrepresented their personality. The person had a laundry list of what they required in a mate and presented it the first date. The person just didn't do it for me. The person had a hint of the crazy.
The reasons why are endless and ultimately don't matter. You either hit it off or you don't. Why invest so much into a few first meetings?
Well, take a look in the mirror, sweetheart.yes, i want to know the reason/s and its more than just being courteous..its about being respectful. He took the time & effort, prolly many e-mails, several phone calls, maybe even a few text msgs.before he met you, and you dont have the common decency or respect to tell him you just arent interested??
I don't respect anyone that demands it or assumes they are worthy of my respect without earning it. If your time and effort, many emails and phone calls and texts are so important to you then perhaps you should be very, very selective of who you give them to. Personally, I don't do the many emails, phone calls, txts.. time and effort thing. Someone seems interesting to me then I want to meet them right away to see if that interest is something that could possibly be cultivated and transitioned to the real world medium. Anything that transpires that isn't face to face is really nothing, imo.
You're obviously one of 'those' ppl. yet you seem intelligent enough to know its wrong..why not make a change?? Altho you may seem heartless and nothing bothers you, just once..put yourself in the others person's shoes and ask if it was the 'right' thing to do.
Am I? I don't think it's wrong. I don't have a problem with it. It sucks but claiming you deserve to have an answer is fooling yourself into believing that your part of the equation is much more important than it really is. If the other person believed you were that important then you would have your answer. They don't. That doesn't mean you aren't important or that you aren't a great person - you just aren't important to that person who vanishes on you. Again - isn't that an answer all and of itself? What more do you need?
People have vanished on me. It has happened multiple times. It is par the course with on line dating. While it would be nice to know why, ultimately I just chalk it up to the fact that it doesn't matter because that person obviously isn't for me. I've no need to focus on people that aren't interested and would much rather spend my time focused on those who are or may be.
The only time I vanish on another is when I get a hint of the crazy. In the end my safety and peace of mind is worth more to me than their potentially obsessive hurt feelings. Whether you want to recognize this or not - there are plenty of people out there who would do another harm for a rejection. So it depends on the situation and the person involved. I won't apologize for the times I have disappeared and I don't feel bad about it. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:14:57 PM |
I mean, do you really want the specifics?
Seeing as how we are both supposedly adults, yes, I do.
Reasons I have declined a 2nd date:
The person smelled bad.
So, tell him. He might be unaware of it.
The person couldn't kiss
Well, this is beyond absurd. How does one become good at kissing, unless told, or shown how to do it right? What a childish reason to dump someone. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:25:49 PM | | It's not just women...plenty of men have done that too.... Ya see? People have "frames" of what they want or expect in a person...Whether it be looks (dark hair vs. blonde, personality, etc.) If something she was looking for wasn't in her "frame" - she may have to decide if she wants to pursue anything with you. Too many times, people make mistakes by not getting to know the person before they make that decision... Read "Men are from Mars - Women are from Venus".... Good reading and insights... :) | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 3:01:32 PM |
Silence speaks too: this is what men do not understand.
precisely what I've been telling people on here. No answer IS the answer. whether she called you and politely said she didn't think she wanted to see you again, or you never hear from her again, the result is still the same.
Some people want to chalk it up to "polite"-ness, but I suspect it's a bit more of "well, why don't you like me? Let me fix it so you do" which is why people avoid the "I don't want to see you again" speech in the first place.
This also why I am big proponent of meeting online candidates ASAP. You can chat for months and think they're the greatest thing since sliced cheese, but if there's no attraction in person then it's all for naught. | |
|
| |
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 3:25:27 PM |
Seeing as how we are both supposedly adults, yes, I do.
What does being an adult have to do with it? You want specifics and the other person doesn't want to give them. Why does what you want outweigh what the other wants?
So, tell him. He might be unaware of it.
Anyone who reaches adulthood and doesn't understand the basics of hygiene just isn't going to be a good match and likely going to be highly offended.
Also, it may be something outside of his control. I'm very attracted or not attracted to people based on the way they smell. Just because someone smells unpleasant to me doesn't mean that they smell bad in general.
Well, this is beyond absurd. How does one become good at kissing, unless told, or shown how to do it right? What a childish reason to dump someone.
Dump someone? How do you dump someone you haven't entered into a relationship with? We are talking first meet and greets, not life partners. Haha, tell you what - the next time you kiss someone who is just dreadful at it - tell them. Then come back and report what happened. Been there, done that.. just not worth the effort.
I'm pretty much of the school of thought that there really aren't any bad kissers.. for those that I think are bad kissers, someone else will think they are fantastic. It's more a chemistry and experience thing than anything else. They can be not so great, but if the chemistry is there I have no problem taking hold of their face and showing them what I like. Likewise, they could have flawless technique but there is no chemistry so while it might be alright.. it just came over as blah.
As I'm hoping to meet someone I'm going to kiss day in and day out - I hardly find it absurd or childish. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 3:34:15 PM | Well...
First of all have you thoroughly checked her background? Is there issues there that may not be resolved... married, or another relationship?
I know that sounds awful..but alot of times women will really want to meet someone and start something new, but due to the relationship that they are in, they are forced to be standoff-ish.
Doesnt mean she doesnt like you. And if she lied...well that is something that you want to start of with either. But to be honest, if it were something like what I meantioned, would you still be interested?
It is a double sided thing...
But I would give it a few days, IM or email her and plainly state that you are OK if she was not interested but to be honest enough to let you know, so that you can move on...
But heck...I am not the best advice giver...lol
Good Luck To You Anyway!!! | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:09:23 PM | Listen to me again..YES, we want specifics..i think we have earned that right...by e-mails, texting, phone calls, and such.Most of you ladies have rules..first we have to e-mail several times..then if you feel comfortable..we can exchange cell numbers..then after awhile we text and maybe meet up for coffee..thats alot of time & effort sweetheart, you are only 36..and prolly haven't been single that long.Ask me when you turn 50+ if all these games you play are worth it.By asking for specifics, i am asking her to be respectful and courteous, not cold-hearted and rude.You obviously have been dumped on quite a few times and are oblivious to other people's feelings and have become hardened by it all.
For you to throw all caution to the wind and quickly meet someone whom you barely know is absurd and dangerous.Where is your mother in all this?? It's obvious you haven't had a good role model and i feel sorry for you. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:27:22 PM | Thats my point sweetheart..I AM important and my time & energy that is put into meeting someone is important too.I refuse to sit back and accept being dissed or disrespected, you should feel that way too.You say it would be nice to know why...well..if they dont say anything..then they are not being nice, right?? Yes, i want to know the reasons, they may be stupid or they may be things i can change. Ex: she tells you she decided to go back with her ex..thats plausible...
She tells you she prefers a man without any facial hair..(i can shave it off) no big deal.
You sound like you are afraid of retaliation..maybe you have experienced a bad situation..that doesnt mean all guys are bad or that you should change something that you know is the right thing to do because in your words 'it sucks'.
We are two different people..you are just dating a volume of guys..not too picky on the 1st date and such...I, on the other hand, invest quite a bit of time and effort and am very picky on whom i ultimately meet. | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:28:18 PM | Schopenhauer developed platos philosophy that human nature was ordered into an instinct-recognizing and ultimately ascetic outlook, emphasizing that in the face of a world filled with endless strife, we ought to minimize our natural desires to achieve a more tranquil frame of mind and a disposition towards universal beneficence.In other words why rationalise human behaviour
i realise you have probably heard the same argument before but `wisdom,on occasion,deserves repetition`,as i stated in my book `how to change your life in 60 seconds`
john | |
|
| |
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:47:23 PM | | Aeroforce1, you are not alone in this one. I do not think any man truly understands women or how they act. Just when you think you have the answers they change the questions. You know what your problem might be is that you were too nice. Now we all know that women say they like and want to be with a nice guy but that is a bunch of crap. Every time you turn around you see them with the arrogant, rude, "badasses". then they complain that they are not appreciated or respected, or well you insert your own word. So next time you see her online you sign off before she can talk to you or next time if she calls you dont answer. If she wants to play games then play them, when she get tired of being immature she will stop playing games, but by then it may be too late. In the mean time find someone else. Again, ladies before you accuse me of being a woman hater or a sexist pig, prove me WRONG | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:51:24 PM | | If a man blows off a woman and doesnt accept her calls and doesnt tell her he just isnt interested then he is called a dog and the woman wants to make a federal case about it. Just another example of the ole' double standard we men fall victim to | |
|
| i dont understand women sometimes
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:32:41 PM | ahha - there it is, the old double standard, and YOU'RE the victim haha! Trust me on this, it's not a place you want to be.
If a man does it we get that he's not interested. At least most of us do. Heck there's even been a best-selling book written about it - "He's Just Not That Into You." It's not pleasant, but we're big girls, we suck it up and move forward. Maybe come on to a forum like this and whine a little, like we do to our girlfriends. They're probably sick of hearing about it too LOL!
If a guy gets dumped after date 1, from what I read on here, there's a strategy for harassing (calling her with call block to make her squirm) and bullying (make her commit to the second date in the middle of the first one) etc. Why can't you just accept she isn't into you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings? | |
|
| |
Home
login 
