| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/27/2008 1:11:22 PM | | I'm on this site to talk and get comfortable around 'the Gals' again. I've been out of the dating scene for a while for honest reason's and this site gives me the opprotunity to warm up to chatting and socializing with them again. Maybe more down the road and it just doesn't have to be from this site. I think it's also a great resource to finding out how women feel and think about subjects that you wouldn't normally ask in passing conversation. JMO | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:54:38 PM | quote]After getting thrown from alot of horses, it is difficult to climb back in the saddle
yes ~ but you must ~ pain is somethings we tend to run from ~ but often should run too ~ emotional pain is something to address and over -come, not run from.
easy said ~ hard to do ~ you must pervailed and over come until it don't hurt anymore. ~ we tend to run from these things however, ~ there is but two ways out,~ confront and address or death. Outwise , ~ you live a life of fear.
Better loved and lost ~ then never loved at all
That you loved without being love is never what we wish for
but still has it's own joy and fills your heart. ~ dance | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:17:07 PM | I am alone because I refuse to settle for second best. Now I have made a lot of men friends.. and I have to admit none of them are beggin me to marry them.. but I have desires for a mate and criteria for a mate.. and I won't settle for anything less because I don't want to get divorced again. My man friends and I are just that.. friends.. and I have a little romance from time to time.. and I enjoy it.. but if I had wanted to get married I could have been married a long time ago.. but I don't want to marry just anyone.. It has to be someone who I feel I can't live without.. it has to be someone who I will know when we are old and in the nursing home together that we will be trying to feel each other up!! hehehe..
I have though made a decision to try to keep an open mind about meeting men and being willing to go out of my comfort zone and date men I normally wouldn't have dated in the past. | |
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custis
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 56 | |
| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:54:53 AM | | Speak for yourself. I am far from alone. I date often and have lots of friends. I like this site because it beats the hell out of meeting women in a nightclub or trying to make contacts in the produce section of the supermarket. The forums are fun. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:02:17 AM | I'm never alone.
I have the 23 different voices in my head to keep me company (just kidding)
I'm not all that, in fact I take great delight in using my faults as a source of humour.
Perfect people are the mosty unfunny humans on the planet.
Flawed people are where it's at! | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:08:32 AM | I find it very, very, VERY silly that people assume that being alone romantically makes you ineligible to be "all that."
First, let's be real-- the profile is supposed to talk up your strengths. It doesn't generally mention negative character traits.
Second, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm very picky about who I get involved with. I know what I want... and I'm not going to settle for less than what I want.
Third, I may not be "all that" to everyone... but to the right person I'd be pretty cool....  | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:29:57 PM | | a lot of people prefer to be alone. it certainly doesnt mean you are lonely. its nice to have your own space to be who you are. and the freedom to do whatever you went, whenever you want to. i love not having to compromise with someone. i feel free. free to be me. plus having a great site to meet new friends on is awesome. what could be more perfect. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:54:32 PM | I think for me it would be a combination of things.
1) I have terrible, terrible judgement when it comes to picking partners
2) I find it hard to meet people
3) I enjoy being single. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:38:21 PM |
If everyone is so "all that", why are we all alone and on these sites.
I believe a relationship is simply not a priority to some people. Like anything else in life, whether seeking a job, a place to live, a car (I had to get the car analogy in there) , we seldom find the EXACT thing we're looking for.
There is a lot of discussion about "settling" but the desire for a relationship usually involves a number of things. There are the obvious ones like having someone to hug/hold but there are other things such as having companionship in the evenings or someone to go to the theater with or someone with whom to discuss ones day, etc, etc, etc.
It seems to me avoiding a relationship because of one or two aspects/qualities one seeks may be missing is the ultimate settling. The person is settling for none of the things a relationship offers so the question becomes, "How much do they really want any of those things?"
Stated another way if one expresses a desire for a relationship because they like sharing and being part of a couple and enjoy doing activities with a partner and they like the idea there is someone at home who cares for them but they remain single for extended periods it's natural to question their sincerity.
We've probably all had a friend who claimed they must change jobs because the boss is always riding them or they must find a new apartment because the landlord doesn't fix anything or they must buy a car yet they never seem to find what they're seeking.
They seldom send out resumes or they spend the weekends hanging out with friends rather than apartment hunting. The truth is they are not serious or actively seeking what they claim they want and the reason is it's not that important to them. If it was they would be spending time trying to aquire what they claim they miss. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:55:28 PM | What I have noticed since being back on the dating scene is:
"Easygoing" means don't question me and we will get along just fine
"Fun" means you are more than happy to spend my money 
"open minded" means if you breathe they will date you 
But you know what? I AM LOVING IT!
I have been on dates with 5 women since joining and none of them pretended that they were "all that". If they did, I would have never contacted them. I do not expect perfection - merely someone to have "fun" with (see definition above) | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/29/2008 4:31:37 AM |
it would actually be refreshing for someone to admit to the problems they have with themselves.
No kidding! Like I refuse to settle ; because ~ "I'm deserving of better and my standards are high because I'm perfect in everyway."
I think it's more of a matter of , I'm scared of you, I'm scared of being hurt, I'm scared of failing or I scared of being found unworthy. I'm too weak of a person to take a hit. I'm way too important! ~ My ego can't afford the competion.
I've been settling ~ ever since I was born ~ This was not the "life" I ordered!
and I settle today ~ I compromise, I make do with whats in front of me.
I am not perfect, and I do find myself unworthy at times ~ but at least I accept myself and I find myself accepted by others, ~ not all ofcouse ~ but enough that it keeps me moving forward.
a little truth and reality goes a long way in filling up your life
There are people that set on the sideline of life and there are people that play the games.
We get beatup ~ we get hurt ~ we share our defeats and our victories, our joy and pain.
as you watch, ` thinking , "Oh! Dear!" and slowly rust away in privicy and slip in a fresh set of batteries. dance | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:50:42 AM | | Well put! I definitely have been in a relationship where I felt more lonely then ever and since leaving it I have come to trulyl appreciate my "alone" time, need it and want it. I have come to treasure my dear friends and they treasure me. I have learned that I don't need someone else to make me complete - I can do that on my own. However if I find someone that can compliment my life then I have a gift. Either way I am content with where I am at, my cup is always more then half full. It's a matter of how we see life. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/29/2008 12:30:00 PM | | Everyone has negative qualities. Why not be honest about at least some of them? I have to agree that some of the profiles sound like they are so full of bull that you can smell it even before you finish reading them. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/29/2008 1:06:59 PM | | Because being "all that" doesn't insure that you will have someone to share it all with. Even people who seem to have a lot going for them don't always find someone special to share that with, and if we come to the realization that it isn't a guaranteee we can stop feeling hurt or like we are being denied something if we don't have it. Thinking that because we don't have it there is something wrong with us. You just happen to find someone or you don't - it's not a measure of your worth. | |
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TBLZ
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Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 68 | |
| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:18:17 PM |
I may not be " all that ", but the problem is, I can't find anyone who's at all close.
I haven't found another 'all that' with which I'm compatible who has the same flaws as mine...LOL!
The search continues....
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:29:06 PM | I'm far from being alone ... I have a huge community of friends and my life is full of amazing experiences ... I just don't have someone to fill the role as "significant other" ...
jeffery | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:32:49 PM | OHG someone finally got it. Thankyou. reversing a profile is a fab idea.
Let me reiterate, you read a profile, casual drinker, you meet a drunk.
You read a profile, says no drugs, then the pot head. Hmmm pot not a drug lol
So much time of many is wasted on dishonest people.
There is someone for everyone, no matter what and plenty of chips too just lets be honest. the phrase if we are all that, why are we alone? is ment for all of the liars, very large inviduals that claim their average looking for athletic. The old goats with 10yr old pics, Look in the mirrow people
If you smoke you smoke if you drink you drink if your married looking for a freind so biet. Just be honest.
There is someone for everyone. I am alone and am ok with it yet sometimes it really sucks, meeting someone would be great but it would be alot easier if people were honest. No matter what/who you are, there is someone looking for just that, be honest. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:51:52 PM | Oh wouldn't it be nice if what someone said on their prfile were really true.
These walls I keep building around me don't help matters either. lol
Oh well its better to be alone than with someone that hates your guts. Maybe they only act that way who knows. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/30/2008 2:47:25 AM | | A lot of people, including myself, come here because they are too shy to approach in a bar or club, or they, like me also, don't want to meet someone at a club or a bar, and where else is there? Unless you feel confident enough to do a totally cold approach at a grocery store or something, you really have no chance at meeting someone unless you're very lucky in some sort of situation out in public, or if you have friends who know someone. | |
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| If we are all all that why are we alone?
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:55:06 AM | People like to show what they ought to be and not some of the other things that they are not too proud of. In time it will all come out. I thought about cheaters in the same light the other day. For all the threads we see of people having been cheated on, that would have to mean that among us there are a lot of closeted cheaters.
It is unfortunate people won't share their weaknesses, because that is really getting to know someone. At the same time that is what intimacy is all about. It is about getting comfortable with someone that you feel safe enough to let them see everything. | |
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