| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:05:08 PM | | Few women would probably drag a bunch of friends to a first meeting, it's awkward for everyone. But honestly some women out there think they're going to get raped or kidnapped or murdered if they ever go down the wrong street. He MAY have been better off that he never ended up meeting her. | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:08:38 PM | I can understand where the OP's cousin is coming from. I wouldn't want to go to a first date / meet with some of my friends or his friends. First dates / meets can be awkward in general. I think bringing friends can make it even more awkward.
IMO the safety issue is being blown out of proportion. As I stated earlier, yes there is a small risk, but the risk is not nearly as high as some people make it out to be. You would probably have a greater chance of getting into a serious car accident while driving to the meeting place than getting hurt by a stranger at a public place.
I agree with this. | |
|
| |
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:31:09 PM | yet another guy trying to justify his cheapness
All I see is another freeloading wench trying to use shaming tactics to assert her irrational position. | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:14:37 PM | Forget "lack of respect" or what's "fair" for a moment.
Your cousin was meeting up with a girl who he is hoping could be the love of his life. If you were a girl... would you want to meet with a guy who goes out of his way to make sure that you feel safe and secure EVEN if it is inconvenient/awkward - OR - would you want to meet with a guy who is willing to do only the minimum of what is considered "fair"? Doesn't that set the tone of the relationship right there?
Also, even if the risks ARE low - a woman DOES risk rape, abduction, etc. What does the man risk?
How about he spends the extra $5 in gas to meet me where *I* feel comfortable, and I'll buy *him* the coffee. | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:54:40 PM | Your cousin was meeting up with a girl who he is hoping could be the love of his life. If you were a girl... would you want to meet with a guy who goes out of his way to make sure that you feel safe and secure EVEN if it is inconvenient/awkward - OR - would you want to meet with a guy who is willing to do only the minimum of what is considered "fair"? Doesn't that set the tone of the relationship right there?
Once again, why are her concerns more important than his. First dates / meets should be a compromise or convenient for both people. Not just for the woman.
Also, even if the risks ARE low - a woman DOES risk rape, abduction, etc. What does the man risk?
There are also some risks for the man even though the risks are very low. A woman could set a man up to be attacked and robbed by her friends. Some men could get jealous and start problems especially if the man who is with a woman is "outsider". Some places are territorial.
How about he spends the extra $5 in gas to meet me where *I* feel comfortable, and I'll buy *him* the coffee.
With gas prices, he would have been spending a lot more than just $5. | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 4:12:39 AM |
All I see is another freeloading wench trying to use shaming tactics to assert her irrational position.
All i see is another bitter, woman hater, who has been to one too many mens rights sites. | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 4:34:22 AM | | I agree with Adam if the lady is a bit worried then it ok by me if she brings a friend along as it shows that the bloke it more respectful rather being a doormat or desperate | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 5:46:24 AM | There are also some risks for the man even though the risks are very low. A woman could set a man up to be attacked and robbed by her friends. Some men could get jealous and start problems especially if the man who is with a woman is "outsider". Some places are territorial.
I could understand why a man would prefer to meet at a neutral and public site. Some women ( and men ) hang out at places that are somewhat shady and territorial. A woman could feel safe there because she is a "regular". However some people at these places might start fights with a man because he is an "outsider" with one of "their" women. These things may not happen frequently, but it's not impossible. Personally I would prefer to meet a man without any of our friends around. I think having a 1 to 1 meeting or date is the best way to get to know a person. | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 6:30:11 AM | IMO the safety issue is being blown out of proportion. As I stated earlier, yes there is a small risk, but the risk is not nearly as high as some people make it out to be. You would probably have a greater chance of getting into a serious car accident while driving to the meeting place than getting hurt by a stranger at a public place.
yeah many years ago I thought that too -- but I still to this day carry the scars with me to prove how incredibly stupid I was to believe that
Ever consider either the woman lived through something or knows someone that did that caused her to be cautious? Low risk is still a risk
Do I agree with a horde of friends with you, absolutely not because honestly if a guy said hey Ill meet you but only if I bring 4 buddies with me I would run not walk away but to say one friend each and meet at a mutual location both know, I see nothing wrong with that, I however do not need friends with me to meet someone I just choose location carefully. I also would never agree to meet somewhere that I was unfamiliar with, but that is just me and learning from that low risk thing | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:07:31 AM | Do I agree with a horde of friends with you, absolutely not because honestly if a guy said hey Ill meet you but only if I bring 4 buddies with me I would run not walk away but to say one friend each and meet at a mutual location both know, I see nothing wrong with that, I however do not need friends with me to meet someone I just choose location carefully. I also would never agree to meet somewhere that I was unfamiliar with, but that is just me and learning from that low risk thing
I understand your point. But sometimes a woman could only feel secure at places near her house and the man lives a good distance away from her. In that situation, it would be reasonable to meet up at a public place in a safe and neutral location. As stated by other posters, almost anything a person does involves some risk even if the person is cautious and the risk is low. You could be at a bank and a robber shoots everyone. You could get food poisoning from a restaurant. You could get kidnapped while walking from your car to a store. | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:22:40 AM | dreamcatcher39, msg 35:
All i see is another bitter, woman hater, who has been to one too many mens rights sites.
Then you're just projecting - I love women. | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:40:09 AM | yeah many years ago I thought that too -- but I still to this day carry the scars with me to prove how incredibly stupid I was to believe that
Ever consider either the woman lived through something or knows someone that did that caused her to be cautious? Low risk is still a risk
I'm sorry that something really bad happened to you. However I stand by the point ( below quote ) that has been mentioned by myself and other people.
almost anything a person does involves some risk even if the person is cautious and the risk is low. You could be at a bank and a robber shoots everyone. You could get food poisoning from a restaurant. You could get kidnapped while walking from your car to a store.
Here is an example that applies to this particular topic. As I stated earlier I could agree to meet up with a woman. She and some of her friends could end up attacking and robbing me. The chances of that happpening are probably very low. But not impossible.
| |
|
| |
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:24:12 AM | I would not invite my friends to go with me. I always meet in a public place and an area that I am comfortable in.
There are many women that are extremely uncomfortable/nervous with the online dating forum. This may have been her case.
 | |
|
| Meeting a woman with her friends
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:27:28 AM |
They had agreed to meet up at some pizza and ice cream restaurant between where they live. She asked him if she could bring a few friends because she was uncomfortable meeting a stranger at a place that she wasn't that familiar with. My cousin didn't like that idea because he felt that it would be awkward for him. My cousin has never heard from this woman since then.
It depends on if he was willing to meet her closer to home so that she'd feel more comfortable...not saying that it's right to drag your friends, but maybe she was just trying to be cautious.
I personally think that she didn't need to bring any of her friends because they were meeting at a public place. Would any women here refuse to meet a man without a few of your friends being present? I wanted to get some women's viewpoints about this.
I wouldn't do this; maybe I'd postpone until I was in his area for some reason and then set up a 15 minute pit stop...the only time a guy I don't know well meets my friends is if he's insistent on meeting me right away and I bring him in on plans I already have...as in "well my friends and I will be at XXXX tonight/tomorrow night, you're welcome to stop in with your friends." | |
|
Home
login 
