| Telling the truth about absent parents
Posted: 5/27/2008 4:19:19 PM | IMHO.... even though you don't like what your ex has done ( as every woman in your position would), it should never be projected onto your child. Eventually the question will come up about love .... from his dad.... about the two of you.... and i am not sure how you would respond if you didn't tell him that his dad loves him. It would hurt the child in many ways. You aren't lying to the child if you say his father loves him but.....
because you don't know that you are not him. I would bet on my life that my ex does not love his kids, but it is an assumption on my part because of his actions, but i would never say that to the kids.... that would be extremely mean and hurtful.
Tell your child the truth about his father..... age appropriately, including that he loves him. Your child will be able to make his own decision when he is mature enough.
Later in life, when and if your ex is able to straighten himself out and get some help... he may very well wish to try and be part of his life, and if your child knows the truth it may help him in regards to his decision. Make sure you tell him the facts though... not your side of the story.... look at it subjectively. Yes, your ex sounds like he has some serious issues.... but instead of letting your son know just that... mentioning that he can get help for himself to become a better person and better dad is a better way to let him about his dad.... | |
|
| |
| Telling the truth about absent parents
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:59:39 AM | Im not hateful or consumed by what my ex did, because I got counselling and realised that can never and will never be able to control someone else actions. I do not wish my ex bad feelings as on some level he has never been made responsible for his actions because his own parents have given him an excuse every step of the way. My Life, heart and soul all beat as one for my son and i believe he is the best thing to come from my relationship. I dont think I am angry or bitter towards him because the issues I had, I worked trough and now i am a stronger and happier person without him. I think i got the just of what I shold say from everyone's advice on here and from my mum.
I have chosen to go down the " mum and dad couldnt live together but it never ment that we didnt love you, just ur dad didnt know how to be a dad but I will always be here no matter what" road and when i think he is old enough to know the truth, ie. the facts then I will be honest and open with him.
Thanks for the support and kind words xx | |
|
| |
| Telling the truth about absent parents
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:29:13 AM | | you know if your sone does ask if he has a dad...tell him he does but when he is old enough to understand that you will explain it to him then....my daughter is 10 yrs old and a few yrs back asked about her pour excuse for a father...but I told her when she is old enought to understand I will explain things best I can to her...and she has accepted that to this day and has not ask me again.... | |
|
Home
login 
