| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/27/2008 12:14:01 PM | From the op's profile:
umm im really annoying and i always win lol most my friends are guys a couple of them are ex's if that bothers you well too bad See, thing is (lots of times) when a chick relates more to guys.. and you are perceived by those guys as "one of the guys" yourself, then they tend to include you in on their conversations, activities etc... because in essence you "get it" and them. Some gals get jealous of this, specially the ones where guys don't think of them as a kindred spirit. I'm thinking, if all of the males in your b/f's group are able to talk and interact with you, then maybe the girls are feeling a little left out. (only you know if this is what may be going on)
I also suspect that a poster or two in here may find themselves feeling left out in situations I discribe. (regardless of what your intentions of having a profile on here are) particularily since they offered absolutely nil advise regarding your opening post. I do of course understand them questioning of your motives.. to get a better handle on your situation perhaps... but to not even address your original concerns... seems rather like they have a predisposition to be judgemental of others no matter what. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/27/2008 12:49:05 PM | sounds like the chicks who don't like you are just p!ssed off cause you can understand guys better than them and they need to grow up and get over it...but updating a profile you should do regardless of how you feel about it since you are using a DATING SITE!!!
i don't get along with women unless there tom boys and get along with guys better than chicks....
i have never got along with women even as a kid i use to get p!ssed of and annoyed with women who were remotely girly girl....just ignore them and chill with the guys | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/27/2008 12:57:35 PM | probably have to agree with a few others on. You don't have to really worry about friends for anything. Its really important that your boyfriend likes you. If he himself has a problem over his friends not liking you and it bothers him, then too bad for him.
All you can be is yourself and you should be liked for yourself simple as that. People too tend to be jealous when someone new comes into the group and probably its a case of that. Thats really why in terms of friends i got people who accept me for who i am, as well for the person i wish to date, they have never hated either of them and im grateful for that. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/27/2008 3:55:44 PM | and i dont care if you guys think im out to cheat cuz im not and i know im not i dont even read msgs that i get unless they are someone i know so think what you want but my conscience is clear
Then the question would be, if one only responds to e-mails from people they know on this site, how did one meet those people?
Did one pass out information to current friends about this profile? Did one pass out info to the girls upset with them concerning this profile? It appears that bf's friends know the OP is on this site, or see things in the OP that she is not willing to admit.
Where there's smoke there's fire... And here I see the sun burnin'....
EDIT: OP You might want to go read a thread called "Drinking the Cheater" then you will see what so many are upset about. (Yeah, shameless plug, shoot me...) | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/27/2008 4:50:16 PM | The forums will never cease to amaze me.
Is it relevant to what the OP has on her profile, when it comes to the subject of the thread?
Yay, so you point out some inconsistencies with her profile and what she posted, or at least what you think are inconsistencies. So what? Do you want an award? Pat on the back?
I only briefly glanced at the thread, and probably saw more bickering about the OP than actual advice on the subject of the thread.
News flash, PoF isn't merely just a dating site. It does have that function, but there is far more to it. Having a profile on here shouldn't be any different than having one on Facebook or my.space. There are lots of people who don't look at their own profiles. I heard a story of one guy having a negative testimonial (a "don't date this guy" kind of testimonial) on his profile for months, and it was only removed when someone actually told him about it.
We can quibble about what the OP meant, or whether she backtracked after being "found out". Some people are convinced there's far more to a story than what has been said.
What's my advice, maybe kill the thread.
OP, the girls don't seem to want you around, and there's probably some jealousy there. If the bf is not willing to step up to try to resolve the situation, you can either forget about getting along with them, or just break up and find someone who doesn't have those kind of catty friends. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/27/2008 4:52:02 PM | Just be yourself. If they don't like you, why do you care? Just enjoy your summer and your guy. Don't sweat the BS.
You're a bunch of teenagers, I would expect half of the girls to be jealous and the other half to be just plain b1tchy. If they are out and out rude and your BF never defends you.......I'd be looking for a new guy. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/27/2008 10:04:40 PM | | OMG..i never understand this...why would you or anyone make something like this affect your relationship?..I mean do you actually have to hang out with those people with your boyfriend?...are those the only friends he has?..and even if that is the case..who cares?..cant you just hang out with your bf?..i just dont get it | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:09:31 AM | | ahhh this old chesnut!!! hun... first thing u can do is to explain to these girls that ur NOT ignorant jus shy!! a lot of ppl mistake shyness for ignorance ..as they both kinda have the same outcome..u dnt speak..etc and also explain to ur bf that the reason why ur SHY and not IGNORANT is cuz these girls are makin u feel uncomfortable with the way they are responding to ur shyness! and im sure that if he really loves u he will listen to u and have a word wit his friends and tell them to take it easy wit u...if he doesnt ...then he aint 4 u hun xx | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:15:32 AM |
I so desperatly wanted to fit in but i was soo afraid of what they would think of me i often was too shy to say anything....
There is problem number 1:
You are trying too hard. Desperation is always bad and it gives out a very bad wibe about you that people cant really figure out what it is.
Problem number 2:
You are too shy to say anythin and they think your a ignorant stuck up B****.
That happend to me when I was in my late teens early 20s. I would talk to them and be honest about how you feel.
Say something to them directly or ask your B/F to help you with it. Dont attack them educate them.
You can say something like: I feel you got the wrong picture of me, I am just very shy and afraid but trying to figure out how to fit in with you guys cause I want to be part of the whole group.
If they are decent people, they will accept you and stop picking on you, if not you should not try to fit in with them cause they would be the ignorant B******.
Another thing if he lets his friends tell him if he should break up with you and he doesnt stand up for you, clearing things up about you, I dont think he is that into you either.
I am wondering what does he say about all this? | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:15:54 AM | | Probably the best thing you could do is face up to them and ask them why they hate you. They possibly see you as an easy target, and most gangs have to have one particular person to **** about. If it wasn't you it would probably be someone else. Just remember it's them that have the problem, not you, and the only way to stop from being a target is to be a bit more outspoken. The most important thing is to realise that so long as you like yourself it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you, once you truly realise this you will stop being made timid through fear of other peoples reactions towards you. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:18:14 AM | this takes me back to high school...even middle school... | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:25:05 AM | Hi there delerious08 i've read through most of the replies, and am saddened by the instant B!tchiness in some of them, and the lack of understanding in others... and some are straight on and real, by PoF posters/people who DON'T walk on water...    i myself think you should (WITHOUT malice intent,even if it's justified)walk up to "them' when they are in a little group/or a couple of them,(Without 'the guys' around)..and in all sincerity inform them that you feel this 'tension' and that it is Not Warranted or Necessary, that you get the 'feeling' that they are hesitant to include you/speak with you.. Also tell them you are WORTH getting to know, that you don't intend to monopolize anything, but are part of the group and would like to get to know THEM, too.. then say Hey thanks for your time, guys, smile, and walk away..Let them ponder & digest what you said (without sarcasm, of course, because you ARE the bigger person, no?)  Good luck to you keep Us posted... Hugs to all...   | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 10:06:52 AM | | If the boyfriend doesn't feel your pain, then he isn't paying much attention-or could care less. I had one like that, and unfortunately it was a very uncomfortable relationship. He wanted me to stop hanging around my own friends, and take the nasty crap from his friends. God that was a waste of a good year! (Nasty crap included a female sticking her finger all the way in his beer- gross, was this a flavor savor from her trip to the toilet?)(Her own husband acting like he was spitting in my hair)(Another of his friends grabbing my boobs)(Taking me around racists, when he knows full well I have family of many colors) Hell, the list goes on...but I think that I was just a toy for some nasty people's entertainment value. That's how I sum it up. And I wish I would have never experienced any of them. There are nicer people out here, and more worth your time and attention. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 10:25:31 AM | DUMP HIM if he chooses them over you..the guy sounds like he loves the attention of all ladies and puts them in the "just friends" catagory. If he allows them to treat you like that and doesn't stand up for the fact that they are being not only disrespectful to him but you as well...hes not worth the journey. He needs to distance himself from them IF he loves and respects you. He needs to give them the cold shoulder. No one said he HAS to be their friends. With friends like that who needs enemies? I can't stand a man that can't think for himself without his friends input! Its like a dress rehearsal for you to have a nosey mother in law someday with this guy.... Run sweetie...don't walk...RUN! If he does not change his tune. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:08:53 PM | | Giving him an ultimatum isn't the way to go. He's entitled to have friends, just unfortunately he doesn't seem to have very good taste in them. If you keep dumping a fella just because his friends find you an easy target you're going to end up pretty lonely. Just stand your ground and don't be afraid to tell them how you feel about it. If they still don't like you tough! your boyfriend will admire you for it and that's all that matters. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:44:32 PM |
Then the question would be, if one only responds to e-mails from people they know on this site, how did one meet those people?
first off him and i have a completly different set of friends and the ppl i "know" on her that i take msgs from i have known for years and mostly are the friends that convinced me to join the site .... for us its just another way to communicate
and no they wouldnt know about my profile on pof once again completly different friends and none of us know the same ppl | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:05:32 PM | ON TOPIC...........
op.....You bf is bringing you into a group of people that he is comfortable with and you are not. He has to understand that. Also as you are the outsider you have to make a little more effort to befriend them. It would be nice if they would extend the hand of friendship but they are not. You cant ask your bf to not spend time with these friends but he has to understand your discomfort. Try your best and if you feel disrespected by one of them on an outing politely ask what you did to offend them that they have this attitude toward you.
I realize your all young, but that is no excuse for disrespect. And truthfully you should not have to feel that uncomfortable with a group of young women.
Maybe he needs to explain to them that you are now a part of his life and if they are going to accept him it would be nice if they would also accept you, as he chose to be with you, unless you have done them wrong.
Good Luck.............. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:10:53 PM | | They are jealous because you are hot and they all secretly want your boyfriend but are not good enough for a man with such excellent taste in women. His response to them should have been "I would thank you to keep your opinions about my lady to yourself." | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:40:33 PM | Ahhhhhhhh to be 19 again! However, these actions sound more of a younger adolecense.
The girls are jealous of you and what you posess. They have been part of the 'group' much longer than you. The are trying to kick you out, before your even in so they can protect their group dynamic and 'their men'. They are fearful that you have such wonderful qualities that 'the guys' will see thru them and how 'unevolved' they are and will gravitate toward you as opposed to them. Therefore, it is better to try and belittle you in a lame attempt of making themselves look better.
Your bf however, should be standing up for you and telling them to back off. You certainly shouldn't allow these girls to prevent you from hanging out with your bf...if you do, then essence they win. Be the bigger, more mature person and continue to hang with your bf whilst trying to get along.
As always, just my opinions and good luck OP!! | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:44:41 PM | | slip them each a 20 and all is forgiven, haha... I was in your situation once but that relationship didn't last long and all is forgotten. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/29/2008 7:56:03 AM | AMEN SAMRAP and CUSTIS!!!! He needs to step up and make her feel comfortable..not the other way around...its called manners. I think its a catfight because shes cute too and they feel threatened. They can't entice him to sleep with them so they ruin it for her. Caddy B*tchs can be so immature sometimes...but what goes around comes around. I think you should show up everytime looking sexy happy and dressed to the nines...be confident...samrap is right...they will look smaller and unevolved when their greeneyed monster side comes out. Let them know they can't shake your confidence. Your man will love being with the girl that everyone wants. | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:14:21 AM | Is it relevant to what the OP has on her profile, when it comes to the subject of the thread?
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Its a question about a situation, not a "subject". The first thing the smart people here do is read someone's profile who says "they have a problem, waaaa waaaa". So yes it sure as sit shootin it is. Please read below, and best luck in everything you and OP do.....
(((They thrive on picking on someone....who posts to seek advice.)))
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That's not how most normal people here do things. If someone comes in here and says "I wasn't getting along with my teachers, so I dropped out of school to become a medical marijuana sales rep. The F'ed up pigs kept harassing me and my gang for no good reason, except we had loud stereos in our tuner cars. So I started dating my ex's BFFL, and when we were all getting drunk I was texting her 15 times a day, she started getting all psycho on me. So my question is, "what should I do"?
Would you say, "Oh my dear, just set your personal borders, and explain that you don't like going all psycho as it affects your ability to drive", or MIGHT YOU SEE A BIGGER PROBLEM? Huh?
if I asked "Every time I hit my head on a hammer, it leaves a big bump, what should I do" would you say "Oh, a good helmet will protect you" or would you say "stop hitting your head on a hammer"? | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:47:52 AM | | ^^^Good point however; Op's profile does NOT read: "I have a steady boyfriend and I have created this profile so I can meet other men, but keep him too. His friends girlfriends hate cheaters. They don't like me and I don't know why!!!" | |
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| his friends hate me
Posted: 5/29/2008 9:05:08 AM | | I had this problem once...chances are...when ur around them you dont talk and never smile. It's not because ur a ****, it's because ur uncomfortable. I get that. They should be more understanding. Try opening up a bit, talk to them, if they're doing something ask if you can help. SMILE :D They'll warm up to you eventually. | |
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