| | Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | Well, been there done that for sure and if I could have a choice, definitely would be 56 and never married!!!!! Love being able to come home to a quiet house. Just haven't met the right one, I guess. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:16:58 AM | Nothing would bring me greater happiness than to find someone who I thought was actually worth getting married to.
Unfortunately, I don't think such a woman exists. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 8:10:29 AM |
Can a man just turn off his needs? Why would one/wk sex satisfy him... ?
There seems to be a presumption here that marriage somehow guarantees a man sex.
I've checked the wording of the contract, and sex is the last thing marriage guarantees a man - to put it generously.
Sex is the game, marriage is the penalty. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 8:14:50 AM |
Why would a man not want to marry? Why not ask him, rather than asking a bunch of strangers on the internet who don't know him? | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:03:24 PM | Hi OP,,,,,,
I met and dated a man, who at 58, has never married and has no children. In short, his reason for never having married, is simply that he has never met anyone he felt he could spend a life-time with.
After spending time with this gentleman and getting to know more about him, I honestly now believe that because he has been on his own all these years , has never 'shared' his life/time with any one person, he lacks in the skills needed to verbalize, listen and express a willingness to understand and accept differences.
Not wanting to marry or be in a long term relationship of any kind, is a life choice. Althought it certainly does NOT make one a bad person, it CAN have a bearing on the type of person you are and certainly will affect how you see yourself in a long term commitment, or how others will view you.
This was my experience and my overview. I am sure there are others who will 'beg to differ', or agree. I do know one thing for certain and that is life is what we make of it, whether on our own or with another. Bottom line, be happy regardless of how it all turns out. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:09:14 PM | OP, it is true, does it matter why? Look a little closer at how he treats you. You may find that he might not be the wonderful guy you would want to marry anyway.
You have a lot of activities listed that you enjoy. I would gather that he has not time to do them with you because most time is "his" time.
I am sure there are plenty of guys out there who would love to meet your family.
Ladies, I have two hard working female co-workers who have their finances combined with their husbands......so in essence, they are helping to pay the alimony to the ex-wives!!! They each work two weeks per month to pay that support! And they are PISSED!!!!! (Can't blame them) Both husbands are a bit older and are retired and the exes are heavily into their retirement funds. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:48:48 PM | Many men dont marry; George Clooney screws everything that walks and isn't married and no one thinks he's weird.
There are lots of men like like temporary companionship; just because you dont get it, doesnt' mean its wrong. Would you rather him being divorced 3 times with 4 kids? Again, not everyone is the same. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:47:46 PM | You wont find the commitement that YOU want with him. Because you are not what you think or wish you are for him. Wake up. He want sex, and you want....to be more for him. You are not his girlfriend, or wife.... you are a friend with benefit and maybe less than that.
sorry but you should find someone else, someone that match your definition of 'commitement'... and stop letting him use you as a s.... | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 5:04:54 PM | | I really wonder myself why I never remarried because when I was 30 (& newly divorced) I certainly wanted to make another go at it... now I'm 53 and single. I think life is too complicated to say it's one thing or another. I have had many experiences that probably have contributed to the why I'm single today.. but it's impossible for me to say it's because of one particular reason. I imagine many people wake up one morning and say wow, this isn't where I thought I'd be today. In the meantime yes, you can get lazy with other people but honestly you'd have to be a hermit to not have social skills and not be able to put another person first. It doesn't have to be an intimate sexual relationship. If the need was there most can put someone else first. I guess you'd have to see what interaction a person shares with others, be it friends, family or coworkers... but I do know I'm not going to settle for a once a week relationship unless that's all I am looking for myself... | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:42:03 PM | I've never been married & don't intend ever to be. I don't think I can give a reason, it's more that I never had a reason to get married.
Mominatrix, I love you & you're brilliant but in this case, you're a little bit wrong. A woman would not be stupid to be involved in the kind of arrangement the OP illustrates if it was the kind of relationship she wanted, too. She would certainly be monumentally stupid to waste her time if she wanted something more traditional, and maybe criminally stupid if she thought she would ever change him.
OP, I see my bf about once a week, sometimes twice, and we're exclusive. We almost never talk on the phone because we both hate it. We have a lot in common & find many things to enjoy together. We haven't met each other's friends or kids & don't have any plans to. We have very entertaining discussions about our lives apart from each other, laugh ourselves sick sometimes over the events of the other's life, and we care deeply & support each other when that's called for.
We aren't getting married. Ever. We're both good like that. If one of us wasn't, it would be time to end it. Neither of us is 56, but we will be one day & I can promise you, at least one of us will still be never married. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/29/2008 11:32:28 AM |
After spending time with this gentleman and getting to know more about him, I honestly now believe that because he has been on his own all these years , has never 'shared' his life/time with any one person, he lacks in the skills needed to verbalize, listen and express a willingness to understand and accept differences. Or maybe he is single because he lacked these skills to begin with?
She would certainly be monumentally stupid to waste her time if she wanted something more traditional, and maybe criminally stupid if she thought she would ever change him. I was posting on the assumption that since the OP had to ask, she was not thinking a long those lines. I actually told her that the choice to do so was entirely hers. As long as she knows what his ground rules are, she is free to make her own choice.
If that is what you want, fine, if not, move along! | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/29/2008 1:06:05 PM | | another reason, met two, still living at home with mum. Just a little too weird for me, especially with bird watching as the main hobby! | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:45:31 PM | | Just face it, some people do NOT want to get married, one does not have to live with and be married to someone to be HAPPY. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:10:57 PM | Because marriage means a guy has to grow up and some frankly done want to so they avoid marriage like the plague.  Some men are afraid of commitment. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:25:40 PM | He probably just wants you for the sex.
Maybe he's already married and you don't know it!
Or maybe.. He just doesn't want the commitment.
Ah Hell if I know, I'm too young for my opinion on this to count, no experience in the matter.
(Insert more things already said by others.) | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 5/31/2008 11:52:14 PM | One not get married? Well sex once a week is far more than most married men get by the time they reach 56. Maybe he's just smart enough to realise that Marriage is a scam where the woman grows old and fat all the while trying to change him into what she thinks he should be. And if it fails, he loses half his stuff.
Why would a man not marry? Cuz he doesn't wanna.
If I had to choose between my career and a relationship...
I'm not gonna give up what I truly love ~ my career.
I'm 33 and I love my job. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:22:13 AM | He may be an independent thinker, one who thinks for himself rather than let society dictate the definition of normal.
He may be happy as-is, and why risk ruining that?
He may have seen others that were married and then less-than happy.
what's the problem?? he's a free person and doing nothing wrong, you can make a choice to move on... | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:53:24 AM | 1. Because it's not on his"to do" list
2. Because he doesn't obey the nagging, persistent and frequently wrong voices of others
3. Because he sees marriage more as a prison than as a path to fulfillment
4. Because he sees marriage as a high-risk proposition, with odds that make getting into the game infeasible
5. Because he's wary of women who ask, "Why would a man not want to marry?" and there are many of them...many who, if they would stop to think before opening their mouths and removing all doubt as to whether or not their thoughts are idiotic, could reason it out for themselves...of course, the latter requires objectivity and fairness, chacteristics that far too many lack.
And for all who prefer to go the simpleminded approach by nailing his preference not to wed on "fear of commitment." Who the hell do you think you are to say such an idiotic thing? That label betrays the labeller as weak-minded, closed-minded and unwilling to consider that there may be clear, rational reasons to why a person doesn't like/prefer/aim to do what you like. What's YOUR fear? That everyone won't fit into the little boxes you create for everyone and every expectation in your lives?
I'd call that "Fear of Intellectual Honesty." | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:03:07 AM |
Some men are afraid of commitment.
It's not commitment that's scary, it's the straight jacket and padded walls.
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:22:20 AM | I have a hard time understanding people who never marry also. I had a patient recently, 104 years old, who never married. He died the day before his 105th birthday. I've also read stories about people near that age who never married, both men and women. I wouldn't even venture a guess as to why, as most people tend to marry during their 20's and 30's; the whole "complete the family unit" stage of life.
Ultimately, however, I agree that "why" doesn't really matter, OP. What matters is whether you're willing to be in such a relationship. I would not. I think it's honorable this man has been honest with you, however. That sure beats being deceived and strung along, no? That kind of arrangement would not work for me at all, would not give me what I need from a relationship and wouldn't allow me to give what I want to give in a relationship.
So...you get to decide if this is going to be enough for you. If not, get out. Either way, I wish you happiness. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:27:40 AM | Why does every preference have to be discussed as a potential red flag? I don't get it.
Never having been married is not a red flag to me. It could be that he never met the right person, or that he doesn't want marriage. It could be a LOT of things or a combination of things. At least he was honest about it.
I've never been married and neither has my S/O. We're not in a big hurry to do the deed either. We love our life 'as is.' It's not a red flag.
*sigh*
Find someone who's needs and desires, mesh with your own. Don't try to make someone be something they aren't. | |
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| Why never married @ 56 yrs of age?
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:04:52 AM | | Why sticking into someone who doesnt share your values and makes you wonder where the relationship goes?Its his problems why he isnt married at that age and he has to deal with it,not you.If I were you just leave him alone before your heart get broken. | |
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