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| Why does he keep asking????
Posted: 5/30/2008 6:24:57 AM | | Sounds as if he may be a classic case of a male who is verbally manipulative & a closet control freak. If you dont want your love life to end up as part of a "soap opera" in the near future -- I would tell him to cease it with his snide comments. If he should continue (even once after you asking him to stop) then its a clear indication that he has an issue with insecurity & you would be best off to terminate this relationship! | |
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| Why does he keep asking????
Posted: 6/14/2008 3:00:00 AM | | I can tell you what he is, he is a mental abuser, he uses these tactics to try to unravel you and ultimately attempt to control you, to guilt you up. I have seen this type of behavour in women too. They can also be physicaly abusive. Its one thing for it to be joke but if it persists its not a joke. I would stay away from him if it persists for too long and too often. He should be able to see that you are frutrated by it and stop doing it. | |
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| Why does he keep asking????
Posted: 6/14/2008 12:14:41 PM | POF posts have finally made me realize that its women that are the terrible communicators.
Good God; some of these posters; he's an abuser? LOL; omg. He's an insecure person obviously needing to be validated that he's the only one.
Instead of being mature and asking him what he thinks, you ask total strangers on a dating site that dont know this guy to read his mind and ask what he's thinking. Wow.
Women; news flash. the best way to communicate? Talk to the person. Dont ask strangers to mind read. | |
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| Why does he keep asking????
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:23:09 PM | Sherilyn nailed it:
...he has said it often enough to the point where it upsets her? How many times can a person hint, joke or suggest things for it to no longer be just a roundabout question? If he has done it more than 10 times then he's not just asking the question any longer...he's being insecure.
I have a feeling those in defense of this guy see a little of him in themselves...
...'nuff said. | |
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| Why does he keep asking????
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:35:20 PM | Say what you want, mthomjmark, but I have seen my friends go through this and they always end up in a bad situation... Stupidly enough, I did the same thing falling for someone who was always accusing me of looking where i shouldn't be and talking with other women on the net and screwing around. It turns out that its a control thing and or that they are doing what they accuse you of. Go to any mental heath unit and ask about the patterns of abuse. A joke is one thing but a continuous line up of seemingly insecure comments and so called jokes is a pattern abuser. Once deep into this relationship, you find that the pattern becomes more violent. As I found out. It was awfull being cooped up at home all the time cause my ex didn't want me to go any place there might be other women looking at me. And she would huck things and I suspect even drugging my food at times, I had on many occations while with her became very ill. I never was prone to being sick and haven't been since.
Each abuser is differant but the methods of gaining that control and laying the guilt on the innocent is very simular as we are all of simular physiology. I found out that my ex had studied physiology at home and I observed several attemt to use differant techniques on me. When I a family member confronted the situation she physicaly attacked them.
I am just flabergasted that I fell for it, and I guaranty I will not let it happen again. Insecrity is one thing but that was rediculous. Its funny, after wards all my friends and family said that they knew she was a manipulating and abusinve control abuser. I was all but cut off from my friends. during that time. At least now I can say I have had first hand experiance with this type of situation. A lesson learned!
If anything the insecurity is in the victom, the abuser is likely to be very secure in their actions and comments. I have nothing against anybody feeling insecure, its up to both involve to try to reasure one another. Everybody feels uncomfortable at some point. | |
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| Why does he keep asking????
Posted: 6/14/2008 2:43:51 PM |  ^^^^For anyone coming to you with more than a simple insecurity, I'll second Sure's caution on that, too.^^^^ | |
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