| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:29:37 PM | | And there go the words of a man who didn,t get what he wanted and who also calls himself a christian to boot!newyorktomboy you have had a lucky escape!This guy has very deep seated issues and predjudices.Forgiveness doesn,t seem to be in his vocabulary. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:39:04 PM | Actually NYTB I started to read all the posts, but saw how defensive you were being with others and stopped. I apologise for missing the post where you say he was out of the picture; good for you.
The N bomb is horrible and sharing email content unwise. If you can edit it, I would. It's against guidelines even though you haven't disclosed his nym.
Honestly I wish you the best, no need to be so defensive toward everyone. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:55:35 PM | | lady God was looking after me is all I can say. What a smooth talker he was. Laughing and joking and saying what a nice caring person he was and how God chose him to help others and how God brought us together. God must of not saw that my blood line was tainted lol. Man this guy is a nut job. Meanwhile he is half Indian and half German. He talks like Hitler did. About the blood line. Wow he is one scary dude. I wish i could warn other women about him. You should see his myspace page. Its loaded with people of color and one of his best friends is black so I wish I could warn her. but her email is set to private. I know I should drop this and let it go but he is a loose cannon and I afraid for the others he is contacting. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/28/2008 2:59:47 PM | thanks aspiring angel. The only one I really had a beef with was Eagle who was just throwing in sarcasum and judgment on me because I entertained the thought of talking to this man.
Here is his nice suggestion to me
Oh this sounds like a wonderful opportunity for both of you to drive each other crazy with all of your various insecurities and problems. I believe you'll frequently need the services of the local SWAT team to help you with your difficulties together!
The Eagle
So tell me aspiring angel how is responding to him defensive when he is clearly not interested in this thread just here to get attention and a few laughs. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:04:24 PM | | urban flower I am so amazed at how many people I have dated or talked too that were discusted with the abuse I got from my ex, and then turned around and were just as abusive. Talk about denial. My job in life must be to uncover and expose all the abusice wackos in the world lol. I quit. I don't like this job. I would rather expose all the nice people of the world who go un noticed. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/28/2008 3:29:27 PM | As one great southern comedian said: THERE'S YOUR SIGN!
Take care of yourself...I'm glad you saw the light...sooner than later. : hugs :
B U R N I N H E L L Y O U N ***** R L O V E R
YOUR DAMN LUCKY THIS AIN'T THE DEEP SOUTH OR YOU'D BE DEAD ALREADY
YOU ****EN LOVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/29/2008 3:35:04 AM | Dating on the net... Be careful is the best policy. Here is my advice.
Nothing is real til you meet. Don't stay online too much.
Don't be prepared to meet anyone until they tick all your boxes... be prepared for the bubble to burst when you meet.
Find out as much as you can about the person, their values, ideas... but could all be false... and not who they are but only what they think they are like.
It could all be true an accurate ... so enjoy your dating experience but be on your toes..
if their is any doubt then just don't go there.
Best to be single and happy then to waste your time.
Think that people who are recently seperated should be extremely careful.. cos they are vulnerable and just hoping to find what they have only recently lost.... love, companionship....
I think that only when you know the true you are you able to find something substantial and real... but you may never find that other person who is sorted and a good match for you. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:34:26 AM | happygirl I love Jeff Foxworthy. and the crew. they crack me up. Here's your sign is hilarious.
on a serious note this guy is still emailing me really dangerous emails with threats and talk that is scaring me. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:36:26 AM | | Hi everyone I did report this guy and saved his emails but how do I know if they are going to do anything about it? Will someone contact me? I have reported others in the past and nothing was done about it. Wondering if they get so many reports they ignore half of them. Should I keep sending in the report until someone acknowlegdes it? He is still sending very dangerous emails and he is giving me the creeps. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:54:21 AM | The reference to Bill Engvall was intended to make you laugh. I'm glad you took my comment in the spirit it in which it was given.
As for your new stalker, I'd say definitely continue to send reports to admin. Keep the emails/messages. You may need them later. Law enforcement appreciates evidence.
As for the future, newyorktomboy give yourself a break. I would find a new hobby for a little while and get a little perspective on yourself and YOUR needs. Walking, yoga, volunteering...you get my meaning here. Its nice to have a great partner in life but it can be very unhappy if you don't have a roadmap to your own happiness in hand to begin with. In the case of this stalker, it can be tragic. Tip the scales in your favor.  | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/29/2008 10:56:08 PM | on a serious note this guy is still emailing me really dangerous emails with threats and talk that is scaring me.
Block his sorry ass!!!
If he creates a new ID/profle in order to get past the block, report that to site admin.
Realistically, you did say he was 500 miles away and has no wheels...unless you think that's NOT the truth? Maybe you should report him to the tribal elders?
Cindy O | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/29/2008 11:36:36 PM | Block him
He sounds like someone I knew. In Australia
I had red flags as well
I didnt listen I kept getting conned back
I wasted along time on someone with so many issues and control and anger.
I saw so many red flags reading this.
Im glad you didnt meet him. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:58:26 AM | | Hi virgo sorry to hear about your situation. I know I need to be more careful. This nut keeps emailing me. Now he is sorry and said he went to a shrink and told him he is racist and wants help to stop hating people. But he still says mean things to me but says don't give up on him he is getting help like i told him too. I have heard that so much from my ex. No matter how much counseling he got he still abused me. Until a person becomes at peace with themselves they will always be abusive. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/30/2008 6:07:23 AM | | lady yes he is 500 miles away and i think his bark is worse than his bite. He has so many childhood traumas that he can't let go of them. One time he kissed a black girl when he was 7 and his father beat him almost to death. While serving in the service a bunch of black men ganged up on him and beat him really bad. Then there is the rape from a black man. He feels betrayed and does not trust them. I have had my own drama with black kids beating me up after school. I did not let that cloud my thinking that all blacks are bad. Because there are bad and good in every race. I know there are bad indians too which this person does not seem to see. I don't understand narrowmindedness. I know so many racists that it boggles my mind. I avoid them at all cost. Not my kind of friends. Abusive people are off my list too. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:10:13 PM | This is going to be the worst mistake of your life if you let him into your home. this guy is a train wreck. First of all I have relatives that are Indians and NONE are Christian. They believe in several different types of Gods and rituals so I question him right off. Have you ever even met? If you havne't then tell him that you need to have some visits first before you even think of seriously dating him.
I question his finances in a huge way. No car, no job, minor pension, raped at 18.
You say," He's Christian so I know he'll forgive". But 2 sentences before that you tell him he hates black people.
You are just not thinking. Dont' be swayed by the first attention you get after a break up. Move on and be his friend. He has drama, and danger written all over him. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:16:42 PM | New York Tomboy the only thing is you seem to think you have all the answers. You have made bad decisions in who you have been with, had to see therapists and an abuse counselor, and then act like you are so together. Then you even ask others about an obviously terrible guy and even question whether you should be with him.
You can't fix a problem unless you admit it. Many people go through the same issues over and over and their lives are full of denial. I dont' know you so I dont know but just the fact that you were even thinking of being with this guy is troublesome big time. Together people wouldnt' have asked that question in my opinion. | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/30/2008 6:36:48 PM | | mr got it together mark, it would be nice if you read through all the thread. I did not date him and will never date him and had him removed from this site. People do make mistakes and I am not perfect. Are you? I did not know this guy was like this till after I posted the thread. He turned on me like a dr jeckle and mr hyde. He was extremely charming in the begining talking to me everyday. But the signs were there ever so slight but got real bad when he showed his anger and racism. So what makes you an expert on my life? Why are you being so cynical and crass? | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/30/2008 6:53:42 PM | The man has serious issues. He claims to not like black people, but has 'black friends'? that makes no sense at all. From what I've read in your story and the advice you are getting from the other posters, it sounds like you are better off without this man. I had a guy send me a message on another website that said 'if I have sex with black men (he actually called them the N word) then he wouldn't want to go out with me. I wrote him a scathing message back calling him a rasist jerk and I wouldn't ever go out with him anyway, and he wrote back calling me the 'C' word said he had lot's of black friends? I thought of that creep that wrote me and I can see that this man you are seeing is an abusive control freak. Run don't walk from him. he has nothing to offer you at all. Trust your gut..God gives us instinct for a reason.
P.S. I see you got rid of him..good for you! Glad you reached out and listened to your instincts! good luck!
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:06:55 PM | He has so many childhood traumas that he can't let go of them.
Sweetie,I'm going to tell you the same thing that I used to tell my horsetraining/riding lesson customers when they sought my advice about a horse with significant behavior or soundness issues...
" Yep, he's an interesting challenge,for sure. But there are TONS of nice horses out there,wouldn't you rather have one of those kind??"
Cindy O | |
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| To many issues not sure if I should date him
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:27:22 PM | Hi NewYork
I agree with everyone who has told you to trust your gut. That is why we have it, to warn us when we are heading into something that may cause us some problems. Something to consider....you know how most men these days are not interested in settling down, tell me why you think this man is in a hurry to move in with you having not met you. As a few other people have said, he is looking for a free ride.
I dont know what the laws are where you are from, but in Ontario if you live with someone they become your common law partner, which is just like your husband/wife and they become entitled to 50% of what you have.
Also considering you are just getting out of what must have been a bad relationship since its ending in divorce, shouldnt you be taking some time to get in touch with who you are before you consider linking up with a stranger. Its one thing to for someone to offer to help you when they are miles away and want to come live with you, its another thing when they move into your house, take charge of your life and starts to get on your last nerve.....DO NOT LET THIS MAN MOVE IN WITH YOU. | |
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