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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:31:53 PM | There are rules???
We abide by civil and federal law rules. Union Rules. Club Rules. Parent Rules.
What happened to marriage or relationship rules anyway???
Was there a new manual or something I didn't get???? | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 5:56:20 AM | Im afraid I dont agree with your assessment Greeneyedgirl, I dont see how every marriage is vulnerable to damage from a third party? Personally I think most people have a distorted views on the institution of marriage itself, partially thanks to Harlequin and Hollywood.
Yes Ive read the stats, 50% of marriage ends in divorce, but then again 50% of them are still going and who knows the numbers on how many are strong, I would say from my experience from speaking with clients, associates and colleagues that most people jump into marriage for the wrong reason, although they think its right at the time.
And Time usually exposes things and its quick solution to give up on the marriage/cheat etc then to fix it. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:02:36 AM | | personally i think trust would never be there if you got with him ,because he cheated with you .at 48 i can say i have done a lot of lusting ,but i can honestly say that i have never cheated on a woman .i think it shows a lack of love and respect and trust goes out the window ,so how long do you think your relationship will last the first time he comes home late from hanging out with the boys (wink) | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:20:31 AM | Be good to yourself, let him go. I was in a similar relationship, and to this day he still wants me to contact him, he is married, but went with me for 7 years. i do know that he really cares for me, but he is Catholic and a family man, and is now 60yrs of age. His conscience and mine have bothered us both, so I have made the decision not to have any contact with him. If it is meant to be , it will happen, if not let it go. It is heartbreaking and even now I miss him all the time but I know that I deserve someone who can be there for me.
LET HIM GO, IT IS NOT EASY, BUT YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:22:38 AM | | I'm a believer in the phrase...."if they cheat with you.....they'll cheat on you". This goes for girls and guys both. If he is cheating on his girlfriend/wife WITH you, what makes you think that if he leaves her and wants to be with you that he won't cheat ON you too? Why would you be any different than her? How could you trust him? Just my thoughts on the subject.....good luck..... | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:28:42 AM | OH, this dear man has the best of both worlds. It is so nice of you to make that available for him. As long as you make it so easy for him to have two woman after him it will stay that way. Why should he upseet his little world? Much eaiser for the two of you to be unsettled as he leisurly makes up his mind. Do I want this woman or that woman or this life or that. (yawn)......
He cannot make the choice dear, make it for him. I feel sorry for the woman. You my dear are sliding in where you don't belong. He is married. Emotionally you need to let go. Maybe this thing with him is really not ment to be.
Good Luck lady. Free yourself completely so you can have an open heart for someone else. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:33:17 AM | You played with fire and now you got burned. That's all I have to say about it. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:39:04 AM | Although I agree with others who have said that neither of you should be doing what you are doing, I have a different worry and this concerns you.
Why do you have so little self-respect? Think about it. You sit around like a dog at a dinner table waiting for someone to throw you something. (I almost said "a bone.") Do you have so little sense of self-worth that you are content to be a slave waiting for this creep's attention. And what a winner you are waiting for.
Another possibility, a very real possibility: Do you think you are the only one waiting? I'm sure he's said that you are and you can believe everything he says because he is so scrupulously honest in telling the people he is with the truth. His wife, for example. You still want to be his wife? Or want anything to do with him at all? Why? | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:49:18 AM | I must ask in all sincerity...Why?...Why respect an institution or a government, or a religion, or anything that doesn't work...that isn't working?
I get that you're into the poly lifestyle or whatever, but I'm not sure if you're a troll. Why respect all those things? For the same reason you would want people to respect the things that are important to you. You don't have to like it.
Why not look for what might work better and bring that into being...
Let me guess, you have "The Answer".
All of this sentimentalism over a dying paradigm doesn't make much sense to me...
What does make sense to you? | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:14:12 AM | YOU deserve all the pain that comes to you.
Why sleep with any man if he is married living with his wife.
he has not left her because he loves her more.
he was using you/
WOMAN keep you dam legs closed.. if you want to spare yourself heartache.. why do these guys need to have anything of substance with you if you do not have any respect for yourself so they can get to know you.
sorry but any woman who is jilted and slept with a man not married to him .. I do not feel sorry for you at all.
as far as thinking he will call- he will wheb he is bored and wants another piece of tail becasue you are a hoe and easy..
sorry but I call it as I see it. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:25:45 AM | first off you will get no sympathy here from me. the problem here is you, you have bee trying to come between him and his girl friend/wife for years. well guess what you have succeeded. you are the worst type of home wrecker, you create trouble and then you play innocent like you were the victim here, you are so full of s@!t .
1)because your marriage was a complete failure, you were hoping to make his marriage end.
2)you wanted him back, but you lied to him and said no strings attached hoping that he would eventually come around to loving you. well that didn't work
3)then you tried to trap him by trying to get pregnant. but he dodged that bullet thankfully
4)now that you know that him and his wife are going to break up, you try to pretend like he is the one at fault here. you are both at fault. and now you are just waiting for him to be vulnerable and fall so that you can come in like an angel to rescue him.
you woman are a demon with many faces. you are the reason why women have a distrusting of men, and why they don't trust other women. you are one evil as ****. I hope his wife finds out and kicks your ass. | |
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| The Other Woman should be flogged
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:35:48 AM | You are the type of adult??? female that I can imagine.
I do not even want to remember I read those words of evil that are posted, Ms. O.P.. 
Get away from that man & his poor WIFE. 
Go away !! 
Go FAR Away !
Go of the end of the Earth !!
Just Go, GO, Go, Go, & Go 'till there is no more GO, then Go somemore !!
GET LOST !!
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:37:03 AM | sorry Miashakti
your indian saying I doubt had any reflection on shacking up with a married man.
regardless of his adultery,
do unto other as they would have do unto you.
I prefer the bible ..do not commit fornciation..
and good health will come to you.
sure we all crave to be loved.. but you are short changing yourself if you have no respect to sleep with someone who is commited in a marriage.
If more woman would take the time to get to know a guy and not sleep with them and find out if he is married and have sympathy and respect for his wife not to come in between them there would be allot less divorces.. so take your own advise and walk a mile in his wife's foot steps and not the whore who tried to come between them she is a whore..
US woman need to hold the regins and stop with the BS of thinking getting layed with a man who cheats is going to be fair to us.
grow up | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:45:40 AM | Miashaki, you're kidding me with that right? tell me that your pulling my leg so to speak?
dont judge another person until you have walked a hundred miles in their shoes? puleaseeeeeeeeeee
Lets get back in the new millennium now, I doubt the author of the saying imagined that a single woman screwing around with a married man deceiving his wife( remember her the innocent party) and we should have empathy for the one who's doing the cheating? Im sorry but thats the biggest crock of doggie droppings ive seen in a while.
The OP brought up a subject which is 1) controversial 2) effects a lot of people on here, especially the ones looking for new love and were victims of cheating? by the way Im not one of them.
People like the OP makes me sick, I couldn't care less what happens to people like her, I feel for the wife the innocent party, If the OP wants to hear how wonderful she is and is looking for support for her actions she should of contacted her mother. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:55:33 AM | well Miashakti
I hope you meet the man of your dreams and fall in love so deeply and get married.
and I hope he chaets on you and leaves you to rot and wallow in your own BS.
you speak as if you once and/or are the other woman.. your an idiot.. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:56:50 AM | While you are in love with this man who has not made himself available to you, in your misery you have probably passed over relationships which might have been good for you. Don't give him any more of your time.
Most likely he was cheating on you, in the beginning when you had your "exclusive" relationship. Chances are you are not the only one now that he is cheating with.
Face the facts, you have let him know how you feel and he has not even acknowledged your feelings. He doesn't care for you in any deep and real sense, and how could he? He does not even honor his own vows, spoken before her family, his family and their mutual friends....he is not capable of real, sustained love.
You need to repair the damage you have done to your self respect. When you behave in a way that damages your integrity, you hurt yourself on deep levels. You owe his wife an apology, and to leave his marriage resolve itself.....to repair or self destruct on it's own.
Cease all contact with this man. When and if he ever sees you again, he should be unmarried and unencumbered. I honestly wouldn't recommend it. You have a history together of ill deeds, and that is almost impossible to repair. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:58:51 AM | So Miashaki, so you condone what the OP is doing, messing around with a married guy, possibly hurting a innocent person( his wife) and you're happy about it? Spare me the bullshit, she's a lying cheating skank who cares only about her self.
Let me ask you this ole Wise one, ever sat in front of a person who found out there spouse has cheated on them and found out they caught a disease from the cheating spouse? I have clients who have broken down in front of me while explaining Its not a nice experience, so When I hear of people like the OP whining about her married lover , yeah it pisses me off and people who support people like that, all that goes through my mind is the innocent person being hurt.
I hope and pray it never happens to you , you might think differently, I praying it never happens to me either. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:59:23 AM | | look if she was the other girl, and it was your man she was trying to steal you would kick her ass. you would not have any sympathy for her. hell if she did this to one of your friends than you would find her an punch her in the face. the only reason I can see that you are taking her side is because you are just like her. birds or a feather flock together. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:03:38 AM | Is that the direction of counselling couples.........."dying paradigm"?
Just curious and wondered if that was some of the "new age" road apples being strewn about.
Lending excuses for people that are inexcusable.
There is no excuse for cheating or being with a cheater.
Maybe some folks feel marriage and being totally committed to one person, has died......not me.
Nor has my belief that there is such a thing as having a true love, no cheating, and a great marriage.
ceecee, "sentimental", kitty............as opposed to a ceecee, "stainless steel lab table", kitty.
*************
I let myself in to the apartment using the key code........knowing it was not going to be what I wanted to see or know from the man, I adored and deeply loved, for about 24 years.
But also knowing I needed to see it.
Deep breaths, dizzy, with hands shaking, I tried the code at the front door and the alarm immediately went off.........that also set the dog........we didn't have a dog.......
Spot lights and door buzzer...along with a, ugly little dog? and an middle aged, bitter, little, white man........greeted me.
I hear a flurry and scurry of tiny feet and the opening of the balcony door.
Most of my questions were answered, at that point..........anything else after that point was killing an, already dead, woman.
After many hours, in double hell and a game of hiding n seek...........on their way out the door, she mustered up her few words of bad English; "Soooo.......... saw lee".
27 plus hours and 16,000 plus miles...........
Well, that sorry made me feel so much better.....not.
I can laugh about it now cause I buried that life.......but I can still remember the pain and put myself in another person's place.
I could say I would never open up myself again but then I think......
I would rather take a chance at being hurt than be void of feelings....
I never want to lose my ability to feel.
If the other woman/man marries a cheater then they must also be a "guard dog", to watch that cheater.
If I have to guard someone...........I don't need them in my life.
In an adult relationship, I expect the both of us to "police" ourselves, and point toward the relationship and not away from...simply ask/tell, each other, if there is something missing.
My opinions.......
ceeceekitty | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:57:20 AM | Personally I do not condone cheating : act of deceiving,one that cheats,deprive through fraud or deceit, violate rules dishonestly-------cheater. This not only applies to committed relationships, marriage, but importantly everyday life. As for cheating in a marriage, every relationship is different, in today's time of the non-divorce where couples cannot afford to divorce,the efforts on children,cost of health care or maintaining two separate household, the results are that couple stay in passionless marriages forcing them to cheat. What is this saying to our youth!
I think its best to be honest with our feelings especially with the ones we care for, but honestly is a double blade sword, it hurts and sometime the requests are way too painfully for all parties involved. People are human and we all make mistakes. If you truly love someone we learn to forgive them and try to trust again otherwise we must let them go.
Op...since the beginning of time men have had several wifes,mistressesonly the ones that could afford and was upfront about them was respectable. They were consider kings it is still the same today . Only the cowardly lie about it. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 1:13:06 PM | A cheater will always be a cheater.
I was the "other woman" when it came to me (recently ex) and his gf. They'd been together over a year, and i came along and screwed it all up. He was lying to her, and cheating on her. Their relationship finally ended. And i swore I wouldn't date him, because he's just a cheater. Then I thought (of course), "maybe he'll be different with me. he won't cheat. He loves me." Well, after a year and a half of our relationship, I only found out there were SIX other girls. Cheaters can't change. They'll lie, and try to make you believe everything they say.
I was just waiting for him to realize I was the only one he needed. I waited, and I waited, trusting that he'd change. Then he last straw came, and I refused to wait any longer.
I'm sorry hun, but he's a cheater, always will be. I wouldn't bother waiting around for him... | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 2:10:29 PM | I didn't bother reading most the other 12 pages of this thread so forgive me if I'm repeating. First of all, this is probably a post created only for attention and the OP isn't even checking it anymore. But there are lots of women like her in the real world so I'll just go ahead and vent anyway.
You do know of course that he doesn't love you right? He'd be with you if he did.
You do know that he's just using you right? He'd be with you if he wasn't.
You do know that he can't be trusted right? He wouldn't be cheating on the woman he married.
You do know that even if he leaves her for you he will just cheat on you right? Its called karma.
I don't have advice for you on how to deal with your feelings because frankly you wouldn't listen anyway. You already know what you should do. But you won't do it...... | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/30/2008 4:49:08 PM | Dania22 said:
well Miashakti
I hope you meet the man of your dreams and fall in love so deeply and get married.
and I hope he chaets on you and leaves you to rot and wallow in your own BS.
you speak as if you once and/or are the other woman.. your an idiot..
Wow! Did you learn that from your Bible Dania22? YIKES !! Nasty ugly stuff...!!
I hope Miashakti learns and grows like we ALL need to do (yes even you) and has a life of true happiness and joy - with or without someone else. She's entitled to her opinion without being burned at the stake.
...and I hope you and the other angry venters here find a way to tolerate others that you don't agree with without wishing evil and misery on them. It's bad karma!
Meanwhile, for the record - I think people should stay out of other people's relationships period - there's no excuse for it - now if only life were that simple eh? I also think it's good for people to discuss these things and learn in the process without being ganged up on and vilified. We all can learn and we all can teach and no one here has a handle on absolute truth - least of all those that think they do!
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