| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:52:19 AM |
bottom line is, they cheat on their wives and they cheat on their girlfriends. I'd like to think that the majority of the people in the world are intelligent enough to know that.
But, apparently a considerable number of you can't grasp that simple concept, until you learn it the hard way. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:59:37 AM | | There is no such thing as being cheated on.... you are not a whole person, you need some serious psychological help not a date!!!! You need to find out what the pay off for porking around the bacon factory is doing for you and you are seriously lacking in some key emotional components of wholeness as a human being, you already know that you are just in the embryiotic stages of allowing yourself to go there .... honesty is not pretty and your path to being whole is going to take some brutal truth for you if you plan on getting a real life before you kick the coffin or cremation can. Life is truly what you make it and yours is one scary fractured soap opera. I don't give a croik if the guy looks like Johnny Deep and sings like Frankfurter Sin-ah-tra.............. any guy that is gettin his cake from two ends is still going to get it from two ends even if you take your vagina out of the equation. A guy who gets what he wants this way won't rock the boat ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and get your kleenex and clean-ex ready caus he ain't going to leave the scenes to put his peter in one vagina when he is totally and stupidly allowed dip the zwizzle in cookie jar stall studded free for all from two women who need to grow a set of back bones and a clean douche for the happy hour vagina highway. Could of, should of, would of ."if" "if" "if" ...........what part of being mature and no excuses do you not understand,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if you cannot understand that in love there is no excuses, especially to you and that if he was not ready and you were not ready then you both need to take a grow up pill and play vagina guynah after the pill is well swallowed and fully digested. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:05:58 PM | | This gal has alot of work to do and staying away from jerking a gherkin is her first exercise in intelligence ................. you really need to understand the male mind, because they do not think like females do. Open your mind beyond fantasy land and gain some heightened awareness of the reality you have stooped in .. read a few good books on how men think. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:12:02 PM | I dont get it , you knew all along he was married , love or hots or what ever that man was off limits for you, but nor less did you have an affair with him ....
lets turn the shoe,,,, here is somebody that you love amd trust and he is having a bit of sumthing sumthing on the side ...... telling her his marrige to you is suck ....... awsom feeling or not .....
I feel sorry for his wife .....
for you or him I cam fell nothing but disgust .......
OP you got your self into this situation... deal with it .......
that man was off limits........
kathy
I hope that 1 day you will fall in love and somebody will do you what you doing to that woman .... | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:16:00 PM | I came across this situation a couple of weeks ago....I was the 'wife', and the 'husband' from Victoria, BC was cheating with a woman from Texas (would go out of his way to fly there while on business). So I phoned her and told her she was the other woman in this situation...she continues to be his 'friend'.
Apparently, both of you have no respect for yourselves. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:37:59 PM | | Sounds like you are a sick pathetic person. I noticed you didn't post a picture, so you are probably fat and ugly as well. I doubt you are an educated person and you might have even been adopted. Well after 28 years I found out ONCE again my fat pif of a husband was having yet another affair. This time with a girl named Paula Bass (can I include that?) See you you don't understand that you aren't the only other one. Some men have an addiction to sex and all kinds of other things. I hope if you ever get married again that your husband will cheat on you because as someone said "what goes around comes around". Give up and get a life, stop ruining other peoples. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:54:30 PM | and there I have a brain f...rt...
sooooooooooo if you are soooooooooooo in love with this guy........ ,what makes you think he will stay true to you in the first place , because he already been cheating on you and his wife .........hmmmm.
also if you are so in love what in the he...lll are you doing in here ??? let me guess the forums ,right ??????
and what the helllll made you think he would get divorced just for you ?????
heck people I likes the forums too,lol my spelling is getting better. or at least I think so lmao:) | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:59:44 PM | I first want to apologize for some of the responces you have recieved. There have been some cold hearted people that have spoken up, and unfortunatly you are bearing the brunt of all the frustration in this situation.
I agree with most, you have to let go. But not because he is with another woman, or it won't work out in the future. More importantly, you have to let go because you realize you are better then this. And you deserve to be with someone that is truthful, and caring, and makes you the only woman in his life. You have to value yourself enough to realize that you have to stand up for your worth.
I have recently dealt with being the other woman, here are some of the lessons that I learned, I hope you find them helpful:
1. It was not your committment to break, so whatever the situation, weather he was married or not, you wanted a NSA relationship or not, it isn't your marriage. You did not make that committment, you cannot break it. He could have said no.
2. Never regret anything in life that made you smile. Take the positives from the relationship and remember them, but in the end realize that its over for a reason.
3. People come and go. Sometimes we need to move on from relationships because their part in your life story is over. Let it be over. You ever watch a movie an hour too long? That is what carrying around hurt and pain and forcing emotional attachment is. You are dragging it out. Realize you are better then that. and finally
4. You cannot love someone else until you love yourself. There is a reason you were involved with this man knowing that his heart was somewhere else. Look deep inside to find out what it is.
Take some time. Do you, and really look into what is going to make you happy. If you are like me, you realize it is family and friends, work and hobbies that makes life go round. When you surround yourself with positive things you will meet positive people. I wish you the best of luck. Healing is never easy, sometimes it just takes time. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:15:31 PM | mmm well i was married for 8 years to a man who after 5 years got a mistress when i found out he begged me to stay with him as i did only to find out later he was still seeing her i have 5 kids my husband left me widowed 3 years ago so i have to say get ur own man cause women like u ruined my life and if u find someone not attached then he will stay with u i hate people who wreck a marraige u will never no if he is happy cause he wont tell u i just tellin u if u want answers get ur own man | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 5:38:05 PM |
I first want to apologize for some of the responces you have recieved. There have been some cold hearted people that have spoken up, and unfortunatly you are bearing the brunt of all the frustration in this situation.
I agree with most, you have to let go. But not because he is with another woman, or it won't work out in the future. More importantly, you have to let go because you realize you are better then this. And you deserve to be with someone that is truthful, and caring, and makes you the only woman in his life. You have to value yourself enough to realize that you have to stand up for your worth.
I have recently dealt with being the other woman, here are some of the lessons that I learned, I hope you find them helpful:
I knew from reading your very first sentence, that you were a cheater too. I'm glad you found a way to make yourself feel better. Evidently neither of you are "better than this", since you both done it!! How funny that you would write that you deserve someone that is truthful, and caring. You weren't being very truthful, when you were cheating. And you sure as hell weren't very caring about the wife. But YEAH, you deserve that for yourself. Sure you do!!!! Lord! | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:27:41 PM | | Yes I have posted here before but I want to make one thing clear.. If you know you are helping someone cheat then thats not right but its your right to choose what you do with your life. On the other hand if you DON'T know the other person is married until the deed is done then who is really to blame? | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:55:36 PM | Yes I have posted here before but I want to make one thing clear.. If you know you are helping someone cheat then thats not right but its your right to choose what you do with your life. On the other hand if you DON'T know the other person is married until the deed is done then who is really to blame
Well, maybe you shouldn't just jump into bed with someone you don't know well enough to know if they are married or not. Never happened to me....
So maybe YOU are to blame.... | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:02:44 PM | | Stop crying, he was dating you but he married her. This is like that movie Same Time Next Year You are not the keeper you are the sleeper. If you do not want to be the cool off spot then find a guy who can give you his whole self. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:44:36 AM | PL
No need to judge OP...she is just another victim of the selfish man. She is asking for our advise not for our mean comments. No one is free of having the disgrace of falling for a married man...it happens.
OP maybe you should let go....and time will take care of it but at a slow pace...it will be rough but you will see light at end of the tunnel.
Best wishes. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:02:08 AM | she is just another victim of the selfish man. How is she a victim???
I am assuming that she is an adult, who should capable of thinking for herself, and making her own decisions.
That capable-thinking adult knowingly decided to carry on a relationship with a married man. She doesn't sound like a "victim" to me. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:23:08 AM |
No one is free of having the disgrace of falling for a married man...it happens.
Huh? Plenty of people are free of this disgrace. People are capable of restraining themselves, sometimes they choose not to. This leads to heaps of justification which may relieve their guilt but does NOTHING for the pain and heartache they cause in others.
The OP is no victim, she is a consenting adult who needs to accept responsibility for her actions. Her post here may be the first step to changing her action plan? Maybe she is looking for justification to continue causing pain, suffering guilt, etc. but maybe she is looking for reasons to end the adultery and move on to a healthier life. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:41:48 AM | OP....I hope you are coming to grips with the fact that you are being used by this man.
I have never cheated but was cheated on....my husband was the only one I blamed as it was HE who chose to disrespect the marriage.
For the one who recently posted that she was also the other woman.....I'm glad to see you managed to turn your life around and realized being with a selfish man is not the answer to love.
I commend anyone who can turn their life around for whatever reason and I hope you learn to forgive yourself as well as be forgiven.
My husband is gone now and I hold no bitterness or anger toward anyone as it is toxic to me. I forgave him before he died so I could move into a future of peace and contentment.
PEACE............. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:08:39 AM | "I do believe that one day he will contact me and tell me that they are finished and he has come back to be with me. Any chance we will get back together, based on others you know in similar situations? "
He'll only come back to you when he's married. You just happen to be someone he likes to have sex with. If he's finds himself single, he'll be looking for a woman with morals to marry.
But don't fret he'll probably cheat on her and I'm sure you'll be right there waiting. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:41:15 PM | i was married for 4 years my x husband cheated on me with his ex gf... it broke my heart. i can honestly say that ive not trusted any man since and that was years ago now
my point is i wanted to make it clear that im NOT a cheater and i think you are all being very cold hearted and harsh against the op whilst i would never in a million years condone cheating... she came here for advice not to be insulted and degraded.
each and everyone of us makes mistakes... we judge poorly
i see some people going on about christianity.... and sins doesnt god preach forgiveness? doesnt EVERYONE DESERVE FORGIVENESS
no-one is perfect.. she opened herself up to get help not to be degraded... alot of you should be ashamed of yourself.
did anyone notice she posted it in the broken hearts section? maybe perhaps shes a foolish woman with a broken heart.. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:44:27 PM |
-one is perfect.. she opened herself up to get help not to be degraded... alot of you should be ashamed of yourself.
Oh, boo f ucking hoo. Yeah, I'm REALLY ashamed of myself, especially since I've never cheated on anyone in my whole life. Bad me. Maybe I need to rethink my morals!!! | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:02:16 PM | | Yeah you do have a chance that he'll come crawling back to you after his wife accepts/realizes what a loser he is... Y would you want a man who would cheat on his wife??? He'll only do it to you to. Do the wife a favor and let her know. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:06:02 PM |
alot of you should be ashamed of yourself. I'd be more ashamed of myself, if I was the one who was publicly announcing to the world that I had an affair with a married person for several years. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:17:36 PM | | This gal needs help and being on a date site to meet other people is not even remotely close to where this gal needs to be. Anyone that spends a great deal of time engaging in this form of dysfunctionality is in dire need of psychiatric help to explore what is lacking. No whole self respecting mature individual would allow themselves to be embroiled in something this toxic. You are seriously lacking parts of your personal character and well being emotionally and you need to find out what and why before you enter another unsound deal. Fractured people do not make mature decisions, you are an accident waiting to happen to yourself again. Get off this site and get help to identify your caos and work at being complete, a journey you owe yourself. Life is no dress rehearsal , you only go round once so make it and you worthy of loving you first. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:23:18 PM | Why would any woman want a man who cheated on his wife?
Plenty of men who know the meaning of the words monogamy, committment, character, integrity and trust.
After 18 years, can't you hear what he is saying? "I have no interest in you except for sex". That's all it's ever gonna be. | |
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| The Other Woman speaks
Posted: 7/24/2008 7:33:58 AM | | I agree. boo Fkng Hoo Sleeping with s married person, annoucning it on the net and whining about it..give me a break. Yeah, lets fall in love (or think it is love) with a liar and a cheater. Maybe ya deserve one another. Sorry, I have no sympathy or empathy for people that tragic. | |
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