| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:32:45 AM | how about this..
before being rash and dumping the guy, try something crazy that isnt in every womans arsenal... ask him!
not subtle hints, not obvious hints, pretend hes a idiot and say "hey bigshot hows about you go down on me? and maybe ill consider returning the favor"
if that dosent work, then think rash
personally thats one thing i do the most, i dont think i ever needed to be asked | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:19:31 AM | | yes u should dump him and go with me and i will do what ever it is he aint doing and then see if he likes that. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:24:56 PM | [Only way to get anywhere with him is to really talk about what you want. If it's really important to you that he goes down on you (and why wouldn't it be?), but he refuses to even consider it let alone begin learning, then you're better off without him because it will not get better/]
Totally agree with you alrion. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:59:15 PM | How come you have not spoke to him about it - or have you?
selfish of him but some women are the other way round
if you think you love him you gotta sort it out mate I think. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:17:56 PM | He might just be inexperienced with it. When I was with my previous girlfriend, I was reluctant to do it, because I had never done it before. And when I finally decided to try, it wasn't any good, and she was dissapointed. But after I told her I had never done it before, she didn't make it such an issue; she was patient with me let me practice on her until I was good.
(Though 'good' is subjective, because those same techniques don't work on my current gf; she needs it different.) | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:24:53 PM | | I love to go down on my partner, and I like to recieve as well. But maybe he has issues, maybe he's done it before and the girl said" what the **** is that" your no good or something like that. When I was in the 6th grade a girl told me I didnt know how to kiss, and this really effected me I was afraid to kiss for along time. But in 8th grade A girl really showed me what it was about. Now I know how to, Maybe he needs to be taught. Rejection is powerful and stays with you. Be kind and show him the ways. That might be all it takes. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:25:14 PM | | If you care about him come right out and ask him about it. If things don't improve after yall have discussed it and you have plainly told him how you feel then you have a choice to make. Tolerate it or leave. The thing is that if you don't talk about it you will develop a resentment towards him and things will end badly and if you leave without talking to him about it you will never know if it could be resolved. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/2/2008 1:43:21 AM | | uhh your profile says that you're into women :) Hope you managed to get some clam diving going on. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:03:43 PM | Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Learn it, live it, love it, do it. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:39:55 PM | I am quite willing to go down on a woman, suck her toes, kiss her all over, give her a rimjob and anything else IF it brings her pleasure!
Perhaps you just need to come right out and ask him WHY he won't go down on you!
(Does he fit any stereotype. . .i am curious. . .no, no, never mind. . .we better not go there. . .although in ANOTHER forum involving some kind of giving oral discussion there was at least one guy who obviously does NOT want to be PC or prove stereotype wrong. . .damn. . .as if that is MY fault. . .lol!) | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:45:34 PM | I think you should just say what you said to us JUST EAT ME ALREADY!
But honestly he will most likely suck at it (pun intended)! | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/2/2008 10:00:18 PM | OP, beating around the bush (pun intended!) with him clearly doesn't have any effect. As many have pointed out, you need to look him in the eye and explain your needs and desires to him. He either has biases about the va-jay-jay or bad experiences, or he has confidence issues. I think you will have to play Inspector Clouseau to find out what the difficulty is, then you can decide whether his issues involve true selfishness or something else. Is he selfish in other ways? In any event, it doesn't seem as though he is a particularly adept communicator, at the very least.
If he won't accommodate you, I'm not sure why you might want to continue fellating this dude. There is no shortage of willing lovers who are interested in pleasing their partners.
Be well........ | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:02:50 PM | i love eating **** its great and i dont mind recieving a bj either
he does sound selfish to me and only wants bj it should be a 2 way thing to give but to also recieve anyway **** i love it | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/4/2008 6:47:40 PM |
The other night we were on my couch, him lying down and me sitting on the edge near his feet, and he actually unzipped his pants and ASKED me to go down on him! He said, "He wants some oral" motioning towards his member, then I replied, "Don't we all". He just zipped back up and said nothing. And just sat there watching TV.
WOW is this guy lazy or what?............... | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:06:40 PM | I'm laughing, because I just came from posting in the thread complaining about guys who want to talk about sex before meeting. If they read some of the posts in here, they would see that, if done in the right way, and at the right time, this problem might have been able to be prevented.
I guess you're just damned if you do and damned if you don't......It's still a bit sad, though.
Knittin Kitten | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:33:51 PM | Yes, I agree oral is extra--but good for both party-- not afraid of doing it--glad to do it in return | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:43:46 PM | | can we all say its time to bail... wow 3 months and no munching, i don't think i can go much more than 3 days... | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:04:24 PM | | i gotta say if he wanted to he da been doing it whya guy wouldnt luv it i dont know but watcha see is watcha get :( | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:31:58 PM | | Yeah a guy who loves to get but doesn't like to give....Honey there are way too many of those kinds out there...Do yourself a favor and let him go....His actions spoke louder than his words when he zipped up his pants and watched tv after saying what you said...Was a huge hint bomb and he got it and that was your answer...Move on, there are guys out there who are giving...Keep looking. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:42:20 PM | | If he isn't willing to reciprocate or talk about it I'd come to the conclusion that he somehow thinks a woman's vagina is dirty and doesn't want to go near it with his mouth. That is a broken you can't fix. Move along and find someone who is more forthcoming... | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:28:36 AM | OP,
I can't understand where he's coming from because I love to both give and receive. However, this issue isn't so much about oral sex. It's more significant that he views his sexual needs as important, and clearly doesn't value yours. If that's what you want, that's what you'll get. If you want something different, leave him and get someone who will take care of your needs too. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:17:06 AM | You received enough answers to know what you may want to do... However, two things bugged me when I read through all the posts.
1) Most people talked about doing it to please her, very few highlighted that it might be something you (as the guy) want to do. My take on it is that I love it, and if she likes it, too, even better. If she does not, I'd be missing something. If my mindset was to do it just to please her, it would happen rarely and she might not enjoy it because my heart would not be in it. Do most guys who go down really do it to please her more than themselves? Or worse - as the necessary evil to keep getting some?
2) All this talk about 50:50, two-way street, give and receive annoys me. Men and women are different (at least you should agree with me on that one). Is there a by-law in the constitution or the bible that outlines this balance? To illustrate what I mean, I have never had my breasts groped and squeezed and only rarely had my nipples sucked. And I don't care much for it, because it does not do much for me. I on the other hand enjoy a female breast (make that two). Those curves attract me visually in the first place, and like a child I want to reach out and touch. Primitive, yet effective. I enjoy playing with breasts like a kid enjoys a rubber ducky in a bathtub. Why does everything have to be reciprocated the same way? If she wants to, fine. Then we are talking about independent needs, because she would want to be eaten regardless of whether I like BJs. Or likewise she may want to have a mouthful herself but does not feel the desire to ever feel my stubble on her inner thighs.
Instead of trying to keep the statistics balanced for every conceivable comparable activity (Y/BJ), perhaps you should think about getting 100% of what you want and make sure your partner's likes and dislikes line up with yours.
If I never got a BJ for the rest of my life but got everything else I wanted out of a woman, my sex life would be top notch. BTW, it is the responsibility of each partner to go for the 100% - don't expect me to guess my way to the top. | |
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| Just eat me already!
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:42:01 AM | wolftx,
1) I for one definitely enjoy going down on a woman. In fact, I get nearly as much enjoyment out of it as she does. I consider it a privilege to be allowed to do so.
2) As far as the 50/50 give-take relationship, it's not so much about comparable activities; it's more about working to satisfy your partner's needs (physical, emotional, sexual, and other). If receiving oral is important to you, but not to your partner. On the other hand, your partner may love receiving back rubs. In this case, you take care of your partner's back, and your partner in turn takes care of your front. Whatever it takes to keep each other satisfied is what you need to do, not necessarily similar activities.
In my marriage, one of the reasons that things fell apart was that the things that I once enjoyed doing for her I began to resent. Little things such as leaving love notes, foot rubs, picking "chick flicks" when I was renting movies, etc. started to feel like major impositions because she seldom (in my eyes at least) returned the favor. | |
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