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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 7/29/2008 2:37:37 PM | | your description of your sons change in behavior, suggests that he is doing something else/more than pot. Sorry, but you should find out now, and act. | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 7/29/2008 8:31:07 PM | | I have talked to my son........ his change in behaviour is that he is 15 and that he is trying to find himself, he is a teenager, typical, not wanting anything to do with his parents, his friends are his life, as were mine at that age. He is talking to me more, because I am not judging him, am letting him know that although I do not condone the use of pot, no matter what, I love him, will never give up on him and most of all would never kick him to the streets. I believe that we will get through this......I know that this kid is good, has a good heart and knows as I have told him straight up that if I see him moving on to drugs that will destroy him, that I will stop at nothing to make sure he gets the help he needs. Thank you to all for all the input I have received, the posts, all the emails, it means alot to me. | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 7/29/2008 8:45:51 PM | | I'm glad to hear yall are doing better karen...your welcome on some of what i have posted even tho to me some of my words seem useless... | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:25:53 AM | | It sounds like you're on the right track. Remember that he truly is at a stage of life where it's time to experiment in many aspects of life... and it's likely that he will make some mistakes along the way. It's all part of the learning process of growing up. If you can be as supportive and understanding in the future as you have been here, you'll have a fine young man in a few years. Congrats! | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:47:15 AM | | where is his father you know the saying women cant raise boys becase if they do they will remain boys no disrespect. | |
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GAT747
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Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 281 | |
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 8/2/2008 3:09:23 PM | I do sypathise with you i also have a son who is in the same boat,
sometimes i blame myself for leaving his mother,when i am asked why did you leave mum i can only say" affairs i do not accept" but why do you do drugs, i get told cos i don't drink, now he wakes up moody,
i said to him can you at least just have one joint at night because you can't afford it and you are running up a debt wich could lead to buglary,heroin,cocaine,e.t.c
now he only has one a week after i showed him a part of london i.e crack houses and the state they get in. (MADE HIM SICK) try that it may work,
good luck dave.  | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 8/3/2008 12:18:58 PM | | Unlike alot of people on here, I think I might be able to help you out a little bit more. Because when I was 15 years old, I was doing the same things. It started out just experimenting, you know, usual teenager stuff like drinking and smoking pot. Alot of my friends grew out of the smoking pot thing after high school but I never did. I just feel deeper and deeper into this huge hole. Trying drug after drug after drug. I can't tell you how many times i woke up somewhere i didn't know where i was at or how i got there or even what i was on. I hurt countless people in my family and I lost so many good friends because of my addictions. And you can pray for your son all you want and you can send him to rehab or you can make him get a job and put him in church, but in the end it's all up to him. He has to know he has a problem and it's time to quit. Because right now if he's only smoking pot it's only a matter or time before he tries something else. Something bigger and more addictive such as cocaine or meth or even popping pain pills. Being addicted to drugs takes a huge toll on people. They change. Their appearance changes. Their attitude changes. And it's a very VERY expensive habit. Just picture your son when he's about 21 or 22. If he's even alive by then. Do you know how EASY it is to overdose? Sit him down. Talk to him. LAY DOWN THE LAW. YOU ARE THE PARENT. Don't push him into church or anything, if he's not into that stuff. That's only gonna push him away farther. But something needs to be done. | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 8/3/2008 9:32:52 PM | I'm not a parent, but I know what mine would have done in your shoes.
15 is not too old to spank.
And while your at it, remind him that he has no privacy from you in your house. You can start by taking his door of the hinges and search through his stuff to find the drugs he's hiding from you. Then flush them down the toilet in front of him.
Remember, it's better for your son to "hate" you now for doing the right thing than for your son to end up in some gutter somewhere in his 20's. | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 8/3/2008 10:50:00 PM | 'He is doing marijuana , dare I say for now? My main concern is that this will lead to experimenting with potentially lethal drugs down the road. '
I wouldn't worry about that. contrary to popular belief there is NO evidence to indicate that it is a gateway drug. Realistically a very large percentage of teenagers have tried it.
Incidently the mood changes you mentioned are not related to the drug use. marijuana does not have any known permanent effect on the human brain nor does it cause personality changes. That is normal teenage behavior. Now if he was doing crack or something similar behavior changes would be almost immediate.
rehab is NOT the answer. it will achieve nothing for several reasons. first this particular drug is not addictive, hence rehab is of little overall benefit. the purpose of a rehab program is to heal a physical addiction to drugs. It will be of little or no effect in this case.
'I had a patient today who did 2 lines of coke and his friends called 911 because they got scared...that patient was 11 years old! and his parents knew he was playing around with drugs, but just didnt know what to do with him because he was just so unrulely. Its sad that parents toss in the towel when things get tough, don't be one of those parents!'
I agree but keep in mind that coke and pot are completely different drugs with completely different effects on the body. there *is* a major difference in those two situations.
'Pot is the gateway drug. Since no one knows who is going to progress to hard drugs and who isn't going to ahead of time, it's a crapshoot for every new drug user.'
this has been PROVEN WRONG. it is a proven fact that pot is NOT a gateway drug. now I am not saying I am pro drugs, I am simply stating that don't believe everything the media claims. coke and meth are the two most common drugs in that category.
incidently its a proven fact that tobacco and alcohol are FAR more damaging than pot.
'Second, no one starts their drug use with crack, meth, or heroin. People start out with alcohol and pot, and some progress to the harder drugs'
and what are you basing that off of? because you aren't basing it on fact. that is a scare tactic that has no basis what-so-ever in fact. in actuality most people that end up addicted to drugs started with coke or meth. NOT pot. pot has no physical or mental addictive properties. that is fact. also be aware that in the last few years meth has been the most common 'first time' drug of choice among the 15-25 crowd. and before you say anything on that actually bother to do research.
'There is no such thing as safe experimentation with drugs. None at all. It's basically Russian roulette. Some get lucky and can experiment without lasting problems. Others will bite the bullet of addiction or personality changes'
pot is neither addictive nor does it cause personality changes. that is fact.
'Ok I know they have like tea rooms for smoking pot in Canada, so what are the laws on it.'
tea rooms? not in canada. basically unless you are growing it in large amounts and being stupid about it, the cops will ignore you in canada. anything under a gram found on a person will just get a warning and most of the time anything over will be ignored. the cops don't give a shit about it here and half of them are corrupt anyway. and for the record no I don't use drugs I just know alot of people that do.
'That is true onebeachlvr, God is the only one who you and you son should turn too. Find a church in your area with a GOOD youth group believe me it will help him.My prayer's are with you.'
now that is exactly the kind of attitude that will cause more problems. if you take him to anyone it should definately not be a priest. they are not qualified as counselors, drug counselors or anything else. the fact is they cause far more problems than they solve. | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 8/4/2008 7:21:44 AM | You can ALWAYS call on local law enforcement and ask them to come over for a K-9 training session at your house. You can also ask them for advice on how to handle it if anything untoward is found. Some officers are more than happy to help "Scare someone straight", because honestly, it's a lot of paperwork to arrest someone, especially teens, so they'd rather scare hell out of them with the hopes that they will not see the kid breaking any laws again. And at least the kid knows from that point on that he/she is MARKED and will receive Zero Tolerance for any further stupidity.
I buy a lot of used cars (avid 60's/70's Ford/Dodge restorer), so when one smells a little funny, I call the local SO, set an appointment, and take it over for a "Training Session" for their dog/dogs. They enjoy the training, I get a drug-free car, and Really Good face time with local cops.
Let's face it, if you have a good rappor with the local fuzz, it makes life SO much easier.  | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:32:38 AM | MSG: Msg: 286: bigshrek's Idea sounds pretty good considering your teenager is already out of your control. (Make certain the cops are not going to press any charges if they find something thats unlawful in your house) Make sure you have nothing unlawful in your room as well.
This often happens in single parent families. Teenagers get to where they over power you(the parent). My opinion is the very first sign of your teen thinking they are getting too big for their britches then it's time to puff up and get your big pants on and let them know your the boss and your always going to be the boss no mater what extreams you have to go to. I think sometimes you have to screen their friends. They often see other teens back talking their parents and then they think it worked for their buddies so they try it. Don't ever let them get the upper hand. | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:45:21 PM | im writing this because recently i had the same difficulties with my parent.
and how you wrote "here once was a boy with a good, kind heart, is now a moody, disrespectful kid that lies to me about almost everything." reminded me exactly of what my parents had said about me.
i think that he needs to be taken somewhere to get away from the friends he is with and his surroundings.
once you get into drugs and it gets into an addiction you need to take time for yourself
and try to sober up.
my parents took me to a psychiatrist and i had to go to the doctor weekly because i lost so much weight from the drugs i was moody and not myself.
my parents then forced me to go to europe with them.
i hated them for a while in the beginning. i was very against it and felt like they were my enemies.
but after a while of being away from what i was used to i began realizing what i was doing with my life and decided to apply to college and focus on a future.
im also on anti-depressants so maybe that helped as well.
im not too sure what you should do but if talking with him doesnt help
then take it to the next level.
make him go to counseling, see a doctor, take him camping or something.
just to get his mind occupied and off thinking about getting high all the time.
i still smoke marijuana but dont do any chemicals and im now aware of when and where i should and am more responsible with it.
also he is 15 and these changes come with age and maturity.
i know how stressful it may be for you because i realized what it was doing to my parents.
just be as supportive of him as you can, help him with school if he needs it, and such.
i wouldnt know what to do but i think my parents handled my situation well and i came to a self realization with their support.
anyways good luck to you! | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:12:48 PM | | Simply say this. "Drugs are something people do to pass away the time to relieve boredom. If you let too much time pass doing drugs, you will someday look back upon all that time you spent doing them as a complete waste of time and wished you could go back in time and do things differently and develope skills for making a living instead of falling into the trap so many people have done." Also if you have cable TV, you could start watching a show on CNBC, I think its hosted by Donny Duetch, and its about all these people who became rich and they talk about how they made their business. This may peak his interest, what kid doesnt want to be rich someday. | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:25:48 PM | Oh my, 12 pages of this.
For goodness sakes, if you really care, put him in rehab where professionals KNOW how to deal with this. At first he will be mad, but eventually he will learn that you did it in his best interest.
At least he won't be on the street, where if you try to do everything yourself, that's where he will probably end up anyways!!! | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:27:55 PM | My daughter, too was abusing drugs. THe thing that finally saved her was spending 30 days in Juvenile Detention. Kiddie Jail. 30 days is a long time. The Juve Probation depertment where I live has an excellent parent/child discipline plan. 5 days per week at th most severe, the child goes to various state sponsored drug rehab/probation meetings, goes to 2 outside Narcotics Anonymous meetings over the weekend...
Parents are required to attend AlAnon meetings...Which I highly recommend for you.
Your child must suffer from the consequences of his actions, and you, his parent MUST set your boundaries for yourself, your family, your household. VERY tough love....Call the authorities on your child yourself if he doesn't screw up and land himself in jail. You'll be saving his life and salvaging your relationship.
My daughter now has 20 months sober, and our relationship has been healing quite well.
Love you!
Good luck!!
Linda,
Willis, TX | |
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| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:00:46 PM | | My son lay on the front porch of my mothers house talking on a phone that wasn't there. He refused to go out afraid "they" would get him. He slept on a quilt in her room. W e called the police that day he was found on the porch,we should have called them much earlier. I cried every day he was gone. A year in rehab and he is doing great.He has a good job and boughta very nice truck not long ago.He has come a long way and I'm very proud of who he has become. He was a meth addict. | |
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