|
|
|
|
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/6/2008 5:24:58 PM | Get a grip mate, God is not going to help out this woman or her son, he is hardly going to be interested in church activities either.
What the boy needs is a shock to the system to show him the harm and destruction that what he is doing can cause - and that is not going to come from God. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/6/2008 6:38:11 PM | | honey, maybe you don't realize how low addictions can take us. sometimes it's the best solution for everyone involved to throw the child out (if he/she isn't a minor.) i have a similar situation to the creator of this thread. my daughter was cleaning out my bank account (i'm not that well off financially, so of course it devastated me.) she would steal my car in the middle of the nite and go back and forth from the banking machine to the crack house until all my money was gone. (after the outstanding checks go thru that gives me less than zero.) she hated her life and was unbelievably rude and disrespectful, cursing at me and calling me names (you f---ing piece of sh--! you f--ing c---!) she would never clean or lift a finger to do anything helpful. instead of washing her clothes she let them pile up all over the house and wore mine. i am raising her 5 y/o child, and she was setting a horrible example for her. it was in my daughter's best interest as well as her child's to throw her out. nobody has the right to treat their loved ones like that. i put up with it for a long time because i take narcotic pain medicine on a daily basis and didn't feel i had the right to tell her she couldn't. the difference is that my body is wracked with pain, mine are prescribed to me, and i take them as directed. some kids today seem to think their parents have to take care of them for the rest of their lives, but it is my responsibility to not enable her to destroy mine and her daughter's lives. she chooses her lifestyle, and i choose not to have it in my home. if she decides to do the right thing she is welcome to come home, but no parent has to tolerate with those types of behavior. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:44:01 AM | Wosad i just re read the things i wrote in reply to you, now the bit i forgot to add is this
what a wonderfully idealistic view you have of raising children :) how you made me smile. yes we all turn a blind eye . .. and let them do whatever they want.
my mother was emotionally and physically abusive, and if she didn't die when i was 17, i still wouldn't talk to her now. but i can look back on my childhood and know that she was doing all that she could, regardless of how she treated me, to keep me away from drugs and crime.
one starts to wonder if after reading the above... was it really how you remembered it :)
dont even get me started on abusive upbringings ... wosad you have no idea trust me | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 12:53:31 AM | | to be quite honest, I was where he is. He's not gonna do away with drugs untill he's ready. That's why people have relapses when they come out of rehab. He needs to deal with life though. The drugs are an escape cus he don't know how to deal with stuff. If you can figure out when he started, look at that time in his life and see if there was anything emotionally/ mentally traumatic there. There was for me, and it took the military to keep me outta drugs long enough to learn how to deal with things. I'm an awesome man now. Not that anyone has told me that- I am still human, but I can useually deal with life and I know when to talk to somebody if I cant. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 1:21:13 AM | I agree completely, I too used to do drugs and was an alchoholic. I will always be an alchoholic and if i pick up booze again I will be. I am very fortunate to have a good mom who sent me away for a long time to get fixed up and I feel way better then I did then. Still kinda down about other things sometimes but at least I am not hitting a bottle or a joint to quick fix my problems. My suggestion to you is if you do decide to send him away to a treatment centre I'd strongly suggest if he gets really bad or hard into it to go for a long time at least 5 or 6 monthes. If I would have left my treatment after 2 monthes I'd still be drinking by now but my intuition and conscious told me to stay longer so I did.
Hate to say it but if you go to a treatment centre years of damage won't heal within 2 monthes...not gonna happen.
If my mom could change me then you can change your son but if he is younger then it will be much more difficult to | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 1:52:25 AM | "There's a reason why a person attempts to self-medicate in life, whether it's prescription medication, street drugs, sex, yoga, or simply working out. You need to find out why he would be doing drugs. What is so bad about his life that he feels like he has to escape from it?"
That basically sums it up right there.
He's a teenager. Ever hear of teenage angst? He's just growing up. Use common sense though. I mean if you think he's crashing and burning talk to him about seeing a therapist. Not all drug users want to use every drug. Some try different ones and dislike them. Some stick to just pot. Don't buy into all the drug propoganda because most of the people that make the propoganda are drug users themselves. If he's a pothead I wouldn't worry about it cause like half of the US is too. Just make sure he's not on heroin! Cause then you're going to have a real hard time getting him off of it. I say that cause my brother-in-law got hooked on it. If it's lighter stuff then I wouldn't worry too much. Find out from him what he does and research it. If it's something like E he's going to be creating holes in his brain. Serious physical holes. If he's a smart kid and he has some common sense and not easily peer pressured then I would trust in his judgements. JUST MAKE SURE HE'S NOT MASKING A MORE SERIOUS PROBLEM. Like using because he's depressed or something because then he's gonna have both an addiction problem and still be depressed. People use things like drugs, alcohol, sex as tools to escape cause it makes them feel good. Which means sometimes that they weren't feeling good normally. Hope this helps. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 1:56:18 AM | one starts to wonder if after reading the above... was it really how you remembered it :)
dont even get me started on abusive upbringings ... wosad you have no idea trust me
i'll share one memory with you. i was 13 years old. i lived in cocoa beach, florida. our condo was on a1a, on the ocean. our backyard was the beach. my mother had this thing with sand. among other things, sand was one of her problems. my clothes happened to be covered in it from time to time because of our beach front property. before putting my laundry in the hamper, i would first shake it outside. and then i would throw it in the hamper. before she did my laundry, i would shake the clothes again to rid them of the sand. i did this vigorously, and religiously. one day, she was doing my laundry, and there was still sand in my clothing. whether i didn't shake it enough, or there was too much to shake out, i don't know. there was an argument, and she repeatedly beat me with the floor attachment of our electrolux vacuum. then she threw me on the ground and started beating me with a mop. my room had already been stripped of everything. there was no bed, just a mattress. there was no carpet, just a concrete floor. there was blood on the floor, from me bleeding from her beating me. she picked me up and threw me through my wooden closet doors, which crumbled. she then tried to break my arm by using one of the closet doors as leverage over my arm, as i laid on the floor. after it all all over, i had a broken eye socket, a broken arm, and cuts and scrapes all over my body. i sat in my closet, looking at her tool box that was sitting on the floor. i opened it and found a box cutter. i opened it and played with the blade, toying with the idea of slitting my wrists. i swore that things would get better, but deep down, i knew they wouldn't. i dragged the blade slowly across my neck, contemplating suicide. i couldn't do it though, and i knew i couldn't. so i sat there holding it, and as soon as i told myself it was an impossible action, i jabbed the box cutter into my throat. luckily i didn't hit anything major. but as i laid on the floor of my closet, waiting for the calm of death, i realized that whether it came now or later, it would come eventually. i waited, and i waited, but it never came. i walked into the bathroom and looked at my wound. it was bleeding, but it wasn't bleeding enough to die. so i just sat in my tub, covered in blood, until it stopped. i put a bandage on it, and she never asked about it. don't tell me about not remembering my childhood, because i do remember. long story short, it is your responsibility to raise your children, and to protect them from the evils of this world. don't deny your responsibility because you are afraid they will hate you for it.
just because i am well adjusted now, and have a good head on my shoulders, that does not mean that my life was any worse, or better, than anybody else's. we can trade stories all you want about it, but at the end of it, when you choose to bring a life into this world, you have not only chosen to create life, but you have also chosen to give that life the best possible upbringing that you can give it. now, i may be idealogical in thinking this way, i know.. i have a tendency of feeling that people should treat their children with love, and protect them from evil....its a problem, i'll most likely get over it, don't worry... but until i do, i still feel as though there is a certain responsibility that a parent must assume when they give birth to a child, and that responsibility involves teaching their children how to live properly. letting them do drugs just defeats that purpose. if you want your kid to be a pothead, fine. let him be one. but don't come on here looking for advice, when in reality, all you want is people to tell you there's nothing you can do. there is something you should do, and you should do it. you should assume control of your child's life, and you should protect your 15 year old son from himself. you are a terrible mother if you do anything but the very best that you can.
the way you quoted me, and your assumption of my upbringing only makes me assume that you had a bad childhood. that's terrible, if it's true. i can tell by the pictures on you profile that you haven't exactly grown up, which makes me also assume that you have also been drinking or doing drugs throughout your life. addiction to drugs and alcohol prevent you from maturing, and your profile isn't exactly an exmaple of maturity. with that being said, while you may have avoided the abusive part of the parental relationship that you experienced with your childhood, when raising your child, that doesn't mean you've done a great job. you've still raised a 15 year old child to be a pothead. this needs to be corrected NOW, before its a problem later. if you really think that it's ok that he's a pothead, then fine. let him go down that road. but if its a problem, you will have the decency of correcting it before its too late. but luckily, you're too oblivious to realize that while you are comparing bad childhoods, you're just creating another, whether you realize that or not. enjoy your pothead teenager, its what you always dreamed of. if it weren't, you would do something to correct his immature actions. don't mask them with your own shit childhood, and don't assume that anything better than yours is great. because one step above yours is probably still pretty bad. 10 steps above may still be. its your responsibility to keep your child away from drugs, nobody else's, regardless of the consequence.
and btw, i also had a heart attack at 19 years old from smoking a blunt that someone else rolled, which was laced with pcp. do your job. protect your son. | |
|
TLC_
|
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 108 | |
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:03:12 AM | sounds like he needs a swift kick in the backside.
is he just useing a bit of weed, or being a dumb a$$ and useing unknown content crystal meth or the like?
i smoked a few joints in the past, (neber liked a bong, prefered the mellow relaxing joint, sit back and relax)
but it never changed me, other than making me happy for a while.
| |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:11:27 AM | RE-HAB, RE-HAB, the little toad knows what he is doing to himself and you.
Chuck the little git out of the house and into a clinic and tell him he ain't coming back till he is clean - that should do it. Oh and don't forget to kick his sorry arse, as the door is closing on him. Cos if you dont you are aiding and abetting this behaviour, think on lady.
We all know the nightmares get worse from here on in, so its your choice, you either want to live with a lying, cheating, thieving, drug addict or you dont, your call really. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:38:42 AM | That is all easier said than done ,Once a mother is faces with the problem in reality ,
your version changes ,
If you love your kid ,you want to help them ,
but todays drugs are different than the drugs we were dealing with in our time,
These drugs make these kids gray lobs in the brain dead and
they are not able to give a care about anything
except once they come down they hurt so bad
they become total focused on getting the drug to dull the pain again.......
Then the area just started offering help to kids who want help with out getting arrested ....
and what mother really wants her child
(no matter what the age )to have a police record?
We can all say and actually think that is what we would do ,and I pray you are never faced with having to deal with it BUT if you ever have to deal with it for real then let us know how you handled it..............
IT IS ONE OF A MOTHERS WORSE NIGHT MARES
BUT MOM GET HIM HELP ,ALTHOUGH IF HE IS NOT READY TO GO NO MATTER WHERE YOU TAKE HIM OR HER IT WON'T HELP
BUT YOU CAN NOT ENABLE THEM AND THATS THE HARD PART
HOPEFULLY FOR YOU THERE ARE NO GRANDCHILDREN INVOLVED
AND I WILL PRAY YOU ARE ABLE TO HELP HIM BEFORE HE IS 18
BUT NEVER ALLOW THIS CAUSE YOU TRYED STUFF IN YOUR PAST
2 WRONG NEVER MAKE IT RIGHT | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:47:00 AM |
i can tell by the pictures on you profile that you haven't exactly grown up, which makes me also assume that you have also been drinking or doing drugs throughout your life.
the assumptions we make from a profile .. well let me correct you, im very grown up i have never taken drugs of any kind and not dependent on drink either, the way i was brought up ensured i would never ever treat my children with the same disdain and abuse i suffered, i feel sorry for the way you were treated when younger .. but your right it makes us into the people we are today, im a survivor of a childhood NO child should suffer, my father just happened to think i was more to him than a daughter... the details are totally unnecessary .. but i remember everthing .. perhaps its a little distorted by adulthood or maybe i just choose to remember what i think it was like ... dosent mean it didnt happen .. not just my father .. from the age of 7.. when he decided i was old enough... but i had an older brother who for reasons of his own decided he didnt like me at all... so used to beat the shit out of me at every given opportunity .. broken noses, broken ribs.. thrown down stairs.. pretty much like your mother did to you .. so not only was i cornered by by my father .. but had to watch my back for one of my 5 brothers too.. :)
i have shielded my children from nothing and trust me they have been chastised with hand or belt when i felt it was warented.. my son has had his room stripped of all comforts to teach him a lesson .. they have been grounded and phones and privileges removed.. im no push over as my kids would attest too...
if they had a choice of being punished by either mother or father .. they would always choose their dad.
like i said in the beginning ............. when you have children of your own .. come back and tell me how easy it is to raise them ... then we can have a sensible conversation | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:47:16 AM | | AMEN TO THAT AD THE HARDEST THING IS FOR THE REST OF THE FAMILY(THAT CARES) TO STAND BY WITH THEIR HANDS TIED | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:50:05 AM | | Rehab and counseling involving the family, are the best options. There are reasons, outside of experimentation, that motivate teenagers to use drugs and alcohol. the counseling should help to identify those reasons. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 3:01:39 AM | HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOUR MOM HELPED YOU ?
DID SHE HAVE YOU ARRESTED ?
OR DID YOU FINALLY AGREE YOU NEEDED HELP?
DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS INVOLVED ? | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 3:24:36 AM | AND HOW ............DO YOU PROPOSE......
YOU GET SOMEONE WHO IS NOT WILLING ....TO REHAB....
SOMEONE WHO THINKS THEY CAN DO IT ON THEIR OWN.....
AS YOU WATCH THEM FALL OVER AND OVER
AS THEY BECOME SUCH A GOOD LIAR
(IF THERE BE SUCH A THING)
THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER SURE WHEN THEY ARE HIGH OR STRAIGHT | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 3:30:17 AM | o_happy_me offered us this nugget of wisdom :-
but todays drugs are different than the drugs we were dealing with in our time,
These drugs make these kids gray lobs in the brain dead
I despair sometimes. You have access to the Internet - why not use it rather than regurgitating rubbish you read in a tabloid newspaper. Balanced information is only a mouse-click away.
If you actually paid attention to the topic, you would see that we are talking about cannabis - a plant - substantially unchanged over the thousands of years it has been used. You might as well say that alcopops are materially more dangerous than wine or whisky.
What has changed over recent years is its increased availability to children (due to its illegality), and the increase in the funds young people have to buy it.
Alcohol is highly problematic, but at least there is some attempt at control over sale to minors. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:13:12 AM | | What totally shocked me about this thread is the fact that marijuana is supposed to be a harmless drug. It isn't. Nowadays, its laced with all sorts of stuff. Its not a harmless drug anymore, not when its laced with all sorts fo stuff. Ask the nurses and doctors about the increase in young people whose minds have been "fried" because of this stuff. Get touch on your son, get him into treatment, get him tot alk to some of those kids whose minds will never be the same anymore, and do it now before it happens to him. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:57:21 AM | Thank You C-Marie That is what I am talking about
and so many kids today do not have a clue because they have
repeatedly heard "so called adults"
fighting for the right to legalize -pot -
so they have gone to the experimental phase
and unfortunatly during their experiements they come across
laced with harder drugs pot,
I deal with alot of Kids
and I have seen so many going down the wrong path,
alot of it does come from the home but most of it comes from peer pressure
and the groups they encounter starting with school ,and no matter how good of a parent you try to be you can not be with them 24/7 it just is not happening
Instill vaules into your child some will say .....well I did ....my 29 year old
won't touch a drop walks a straight and narrow path he dealth with alot in school
as he was over weight but now he is a fine young man law abiding citizen,lives by the bible .........
my youngest 25 learned the same set of vaules got his butt busted when needed
growning up turned out totally opposite has challenges every day in life
Something that I fine dealing with people of all ages in my line of work ,on a daily basic' most 25 and under today had way to much time on their hands and the general public offers little to no support of good things for them to do (yes my kids were in scouts and all sports and band ,I kept them very busy butttttt)
Kids today are labled trouble before they even get into trouble they are looked down upon no matter how hard they try and they have to repeatedly prove themselves to society before they can be accepted -
I owned two game rooms and one of our top rules was no drugs ,
the kids appreciated a place to come to socilize and
be accepted and there were no drugs but you know what .......
go to the barber or the town beauty shop and listen to the gosip
about the place from people who were to high and mighty to come inside
and see what was really going on,
they did not know the kids inside were working real hard to get good grades and bring their report cards in for free games if they brought their grades up
or did not miss any days of school ....
they did not see the tables where the kids were getting free tutoring
in areas they were stuggleing with ...
they did not join us for free Thanksgiving dinner
cause the kids in this neighborhood family coud not afford a good meal
and most of them came from a parent struggling to make ends meet
so the kids had a safe haven to come to while the parent was at work
and they would not be alone to try to find something to occupy their time
does anyone ever think anymore about doing something possitive to help prevent
kids from going astray or are you one of the ones that complains about them skateboarding in your neighborhood or hanging out on the street corner till 6pm everynight (humm their parents might have to work 2 jobs each to make rent)
really what is our world coming to guess this could and should have been a different forum but what is our next generation heading to .........no wonder they find drugs as an outlet from the real world but yes
they are frying their brains .............. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 5:25:54 AM | my son used to say to me .. mum its not addictive .. and i used to reply as he was pacing the floor .. cuz he had no dope .. dont worry son its not addictive..
biggest load of bullshit i ever heard ... not addicitve | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:11:47 AM | I have thought of that...... I don't want to be that hysterical parent, dont want to be a hypocrite because I tried it at his age too, I grew up and stopped doing it and I want to believe that he is just experimenting like I did as a kid.
WTH, sorry for being blunt, but who cares what people think, who cares if you look like a hypocrite or hysterical, hes not "experiementing" with drugs any longer if its changed who he is. His teen age years are now destroyed, get him help before his adulthood gets dragged down the $hitter too. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 11:55:11 AM | | people play whatever cards they are dealt, and in this case, the mother is playing the victim card. how could her son do this to her?! and on top of it, everyone who disagrees with her and doesn't have kids obviously knows nothing about kids, and shouldn't be giving advice in the first place. all i know is, its your job to find a way to stop him from doing drugs. whatever you have to do. that is your job, and if you do anything less than your best effort to keep your son off of drugs, you're a failure as a parent. i don't need to have kids to realize this. what's shocking is that you do have kids, yet don't realize it. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:00:52 PM | I'm sorry but comming from a teenager, hes not going to quit until he is ready, or he can admitt he has a problem. No offence to anybody, but sending him to rehab won't make him quit, tough love will not help you either. You can do tough love to a certain degree, as in no drugs in my house, dont come here stoned, but you cant force a person to stop. You can ask him if he feels he has a problem, but if he says no hes not ready to quit. The more harder you are on a child, the more they will not listen to you. Its almost like an autistic thing. Its like my brother, in regards to the autistic thing. You can have a problem and talk to him briefly and nicely about it and he will listen. If you have a problem and you show signs of anger, you yell, even raise your voice, he will block you out, go into his own little world and you've completely lost him. And just keep repeating over and over, when your ready to quit I will be here, and ALWAYS tell him you love him. And no its not the way it should be, but honestly thats the way it is. Especially with teens these days.
Another thing you could try, is listening, truley listening if you can get him to talk. When he tells you something, even if it upsets you think before you speak. I dont know if you do or you dont, but a lot of parents freak out first. Its like when your child tells you their having sex for the first time, and its the end of the world , you may yell , throw out punishments. And then heres your kid " well frig if they freak out when i tell them this, i sure as **** cant tell them that."
I really dont know what to tell you, except just keep trying to be loving, understanding. And maybe just like some other people suggested try and talk again. Tell you son that you would rather him tell you the truth, and you know whats going on, then him lying and hurting you even more because he didnt have the deaceny to be honest. As a parent im sure it would be a lot more comforting knowing everything thats going on and being able to talk to your child, rather then not knowing all the details, having to wonder, and losing your mind. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:20:07 PM | | Another thing I forgot to mention is, you can try to explain the truths that are always left out. They dont wanna here oh drugs are bad, their illegal. Teens argue that smoking cigarettes is worse then smoking pot. LOL Reality check, yeah smoking cigarettes are bad, their addictive because of how the nicotine effect receptors in the brain, they are poisonous due to additives and perservatives, and the tobacco it self, they can causee cancer, which can cause death. But with pot, the high feeling is actually the effects of your brain being poisoned, and usually resulting is damages that cannot be fixed. When you get stoned the feeling may last up to hours, but when its gone you want or need more. You body builds up a tolerance, the more you do the more you need to do to get the high feeling, eventually your doing so much of the substance and you dont even realize you are actually stoned, because you dont feel it, resulting in trying harder drugs. Little do these kids know that even the smallest amount could be to much and there goes your life due to an over dose because their body cant handle it. Im sure every teen dreams of the day when they can go and party in the states. Dont know if your american or canadian but the fact is one charge and there goes your freedom, you are never allowed to cross any border, even if it happened when you were 13 and you are now 65. Maybe just a harsh reality check is needed. Many people in sault ste marie, On , have died due to over doses, im sure everywhere it has happened. Research it bring the facts to the table. Maybe scare the hell out of him but in a kind way. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:04:28 PM | | I am not playing any victim card as you call it Wowsad, I am just a parent that wants what is best for her kid..... I am a failure as a parent??? Yes that is probably true, me and a million other parents whose children are teenagers and who are trying to find themselves. I think you have a very deep seated anger towards your own mother and lash out at every other parent out there. I have never claimed to be mother of the year, but one thing is certain, I love both my kids more than life itself and I fail at certain things, yes, you are right, dont know a parent out there that doesn't, but, I will never give up on them and I will try to ensure that they have a better life than I ever had, and will not always have the answers to the problems they are dealing with, but, I will never ever give up on them. | |
|
| My son is on drugs.......
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:24:14 PM | | Well you chould all was try the Foot up the ass trick? or dont do like my father did and told me when i was busted for smokein pot he told me he wished i was never born. if i was my Porblem you chould See there just trying it never know it chould have been Pure Pressure. I think most of us Have been there before and had tryed things we wish we chould have no done.Where only human we make Mistakes. Confront him about the Drugs and talk. Tell them that, thats No the life they wanna choose it leaves you with nohting , No money,no house,no car, no girlfreinds,NO LIFE. | |
|
|
| Page 5 of 12
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 |
|
Home
login 
