| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:45:06 PM | >>>Someone sounds like they have issues. Sorry sketchness, but you are muddying the water with superfluous nonsense. Her morals were brought up only to question whether she should feel an obligation to inform said Slimeball that he may be carrying/spreading a disease. Not how he/she got it.<<<<
Me issues are you kidding I am the perfect human. LMAO
Seriously, though we can talk about what a great person someone is all we want. It still does not broach the actual question should she tell him or not? My opinion is that she should tell him, regardless. Because it is the right thing to do. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:47:22 PM | I have some thoughts on this issue. First, Trix, I really don't think it's your place to inform the slimeball that he is carrying a disease, if it's anyones, it's hers and you can not make her. As a friend you told her you thought she should tell him, and I think that is the extent of your duty. You've fulfilled that obligation by urging her to get tested, and urging her to tell him. Considering that the slimeball cheated on his wife and children, obviously had unprotected sex and could have risked her life ( remind her that HIV doesn't show up right away and she will have to be restested) if his d1ck fell off it would be the only happy ending to this story.
Oh and Jade,
<div class="quote">We don't have replacements for them."
Sounds a little like the Catholic Church scandal excuses to me..
this is something we Catholics prefer to look back upon, it was a shameful time and it's not something we like joking about. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:47:54 PM | Libby333,
I noticed that your answer to the other poster showed an insistence on your own opinion. You should try to be aware that some others may find that a little offensive. And your "smart" tone about concerned citizens suggests that for some reason I can't fathom, you think people don't have a right to make sure we as a society do what's right.
I'm thankful every day that my government's concerned about my well-being. If they didn't do something about this problem, who would? I think if federal inspectors could see what's in some of these yahoos' kitchens, they'd faint. Not a vegetable in sight, I'll bet--let alone a nice healthful Asian pear, or a bottle of wheatgrass juice. Why should my tax dollars pay for the "right" of these lardbuckets and all their pimply kids to ruin their health by eating cheap donuts and guzzling soft drinks?
All this stuff about individual rights is overrated--I look forward to the day this backward, cowboy country finally is run by a government that knows what's good for ALL of us and isn't afraid to act! | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:17:03 PM | ^^^^^^^^
"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what's good for them, and deserve to get it. Good and hard." -- H L Mencken | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:37:14 PM |
I noticed that your answer to the other poster showed an insistence on your own opinion. You should try to be aware that some others may find that a little offensive. And your "smart" tone about concerned citizens suggests that for some reason I can't fathom, you think people don't have a right to make sure we as a society do what's right.
You noticed wrong. I had an opinion. Not any stronger or less strong than the next persons. I "should be aware"? Well I should be a lot of things, but being aware is not an area in which I am lacking, but thanks for the helpful advice.
I don't think any one person, group, association etc... has a right to tell me what they think is right for them is patently right for me. Expressing your view or stance on something is just that. Expressing it. If you or anyone else is offended by it, that is not my issue. I am not offended by your over the top frank "advice". Actually I find it amusing. Entertaining even. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:39:02 AM | | What a relief, that my little put-on amused and even entertained you! You had me worried for a moment that I'd stuck my tongue into my cheek a tad too firmly. I actually hear tripe pretty close to that sometimes, from people I suspect have never so much as glanced at the U.S. Constitution. It tempts me to tell them I've heard Pyongyang's really a great town, and to ask if they've ever thought of moving there. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:43:38 PM | ^^^Well that's not a moral dilemma, or what I would call a moral dilemma. I think the original post here is indeed a real moral dilemma, but I think there is a fine line you can cross between doing what's morally right, and over-stepping your bounds. I think this situation is one in which you want to tread lightly.
Show up. Give your best friendly advice/suggestion, and let them make their decision | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:58:21 PM | | Wouldnt you be violating the HEPA act if you did that? She might get pissed and call you out on it. Plus is that one of the STDs that has to be reported to the CDC so wont he find out anyways? Not a medical person so I dont know. If it doesnt violate the law I would tell him. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/31/2008 7:49:18 PM | Its actually HIPA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability act). Hipa only applies to hospital employees, who access and disclose information. It does not have any jurisdiction realted to what a patient discloses to someone else in a private setting.
This disease is part of the state of California's mandatory reporting guideline. Reports are compiled monthly and reported to the CDC for follow up. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:05:35 PM | A good friend will give advice. To insist they follow through as you would -- or act on their behalf -- is being controlling.
You can lead a horse to water, Mominatrix...
Let it go. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:11:48 PM | you cant teach morality; also maybe she cheated too? Its always assumed its only the guy. If she's selfish enough not to tell him then she's selfish enough to cheat.
You need to butt out but to be honest, she has some problems too; | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:18:03 PM | IMHO, (which Momi knows everyone is entitled too) LET IT GO! You offered your advice, be there for comfort and counsel, be a friend. It is not your problem. Besides you have enough on your plate!  | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:49:26 AM | One thing about saying people "couldn't have done something" though...
That's no argument at all. We're not God and we could know more know someone did not do something (unless we were with them all the time) than we could KNOW whether God does or does not exist. It's simply beyond our ability as mortals to know such things.
We can believe... but belief is merely the expectation that unseen things have occurred, are occurring or will (or not) occur; nothing more.
That won't cut it in a debate, a philosophical discussion or a court of law. It's simply not true to say we know that which we cannot.
"Are you going to believe ME or your own eyes???"-Groucho Marx | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:04:28 AM | When a patient reveals a medical fact to a third party, it is not covered by doctor-patient privilege. Even though Momi is an allied health student, the information was told to her outside of any professional relationship. She has no legal obligation to preserve the confidentiality of her friend's disclosure to her.
She might have a moral one, however. Which duty is higher? The one to her friend or the one to the community at large?
What are the odds that Mr. STBE will spread his disease beyond his wife? Fortunately, it was only chlamydia, which is curable.
I believe that it's the wife's place to inform her husband in her good time, and that Momi's role is to support her friend in doing the right thing. If the wife hasn't already cut Mr. STBE off, she's sure got good reason to now. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 6/19/2008 2:41:01 PM | Finding out your partner of 20 years has been cheating on you must be devastating enough, but then to find you've been given a nasty little disease as a reward for being faithful = WOW! I know if it were me, you wanna believe there'd be a confrontation! I'd probably visit him at wherever he works and yell "Hi Honey! I got the report back from the doctor, your girlfriend has Chlamydia! .. and Oh Honey?! .. You're being charged with endangering my health, mental anguish and supper will Not be on the table whether you go home or not! " .. and that would be if I had a sedative or 2 in me and a Good friend to hold me back!
Geez cheating is such a nasty thing to begin with, you risk your partners life Every time! Why would anyone want to sleep with someone who doesn't give a rats azz about their "significant" other (of 20 years!!).
No dilemna, a health hazard for sure. I liked
An anonymous letter with a county letterhead should solve the problem. .. that was a good idea. Still .. can't understand why anyone would allow someone to treat them that way and Not confront. As a "friend" I think I'd lose a lot of respect for the silent partner. A Lot.
Whatta world ..
A.S.is
:55:
The person you are cheating with is very likely also cheating on you. I would tell .. you're frikkin right. There's enough dis-ease on this planet! | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:11:35 PM | "I spoke to her this morning, and the reason she is not telling him, is that she is waiting for mediation and court to bring the paperwork in and bring this up to a judge. Now that is something I can put my mind around. I can sit on this for a while."
I certainly hope that her lawyewr is in on this and knows the mediator/judge well enough to know how well that person will take it that she kept this to herself. As you can hear in this forum many don't take silence well.
If you were told as a trusted listener with an assumption of confidentiality - as I have with those who lean on me - then you are obligated to hold your tongue. Breaking trust on it will cause you not to be trusted with secrets in the future.
If there is a law that the doctor must report to CDC then I suspect her doctor's appointment might have included a requirement to list sex partners.
gandi | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 8/16/2008 10:03:10 AM | I think you should keep supporting your friend and should "stay out" of her marital issues. I agree she should tell him, what goes on between a couple in a marriage is THEIR business and a good friend would not make it hers.
During this time she needs your support not your opinion, this a a load of crap, not only does she have to "deal with the fact that he is cheating" she now has a health issue, which is treatable.
He wasn't up front about cheating and he is probably unaware of his STD, which he probably got from the other person , or someone else in the "Choir room"
If I had to guess what religion, I would say "Mormon" more so than Catholic.
Just my observation. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 8/16/2008 12:07:20 PM | Personally I would feel a responsibility to tell him this. Or maybe there is a way to get him to go on his own to get tested without just telling him he has an STD.
But I would feel bad if I found out that he gave an STD to another woman and I could have stopped it by telling him. I would feel some responsibility to the woman that he gave the STD to. To me this comes down to showing more love and compassion to our neighbors and I'm talking about everyone here. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:40:47 AM | 
I'm sure that the statement- "You Reap what you Sow" comes to mind & that what is in her life & marriage should be just that-- Her husband knew the risks & she should do what she feels led to do at the time-- I'm sure she'll let "it" out when the time is right -
Let her decide it's her marriage & it's her decision -- ( THAT guy / her husband will regret doing this one day & he'll have to face the fact that he committed adultery before GOD & only GOD can judge him...etc...etc.. etc...)
Chlamydia is the most frequently reported bacterial sexually transmitted disease in the United States. In 2006, 1,030,911 chlamydial infections were reported to CDC from 50 states and the District of Columbia. Under-reporting is substantial because most people with chlamydia are not aware of their infections and do not seek testing. Also, testing is not often done if patients are treated for their symptoms. An estimated 2,291,000 non-institutionalized U.S. civilians ages 14-39 are infected with Chlamydia based on the U.S. National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey. Women are frequently re-infected if their sex partners are not treated.
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:52:21 PM | How not to be stuck in the middle. Write him a letter "Anonymously" signed we care fill the envelope with pamphlets on STD's.
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:31:07 PM | If he had TB instead of an STD, would anyone suggest that this isn't a PUBLIC health problem? Chlamydia is treatable and contagious. I see absolutely no justification for the wife refusing to tell her husband immediately. Nevertheless, you can't force her to do the right thing, but you can warn her that if she doesn't you won't keep silent.
Mom, did you feel you learned this information in confidence? Are you a health care professional? Is there a doctor/patient privilege issue here? Ethically (and perhaps even legally) I think one has a duty to society to protect it from disease. If you're worried about blow back to the wife, an annonymous letter to the husband AND his roommate simply informing them that you have reason to believe they should be tested for STDs and particularly chlamydia would be a benefit to all and not much if any betrayal of wife.
So what did you end up doing? I realize this thread began long ago. | |
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| A moral dilemma
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:52:17 PM | Mominatrix, I am appalled at the number of people who accused your friend of cheating. The fact that she couldn't even believe he had speaks volumes; it didn't exist for her, and thus it couldn't exist for him.
As far as I know, and you are the nurse, so correct me if I'm wrong, chlamydia is asymptomatic in males, therefore he could give it to 1000 women and never know he had it.
I think the other woman needs to know.
I sympathize with her loyalty to the lying, cheating scum, but at some point that will end.
Good luck to you and to your friend.
Impresaria | |
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......Lord I hope this was just some off handed cynical comment Match ! ~ 
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