| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:14:13 AM | I actually saw an Asian/black couple the other day, when I was out shopping. They had a little boy (cutest lil guy!) but unfortunately they were getting quite a few stares when we walked by.. now whether they were judgemental stares or not.. I couldn't tell.
Where I live (Thunder Bay, Ontario) there are very few black or asian men.. (well that I've seen anyway).. and even on here there are maybe two or three that come up in the search and thats about it. Its a shame though.. especially for the lack of black men.. cause to me they are the sexiest of the two.. hands down. :) | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:27:43 AM | Yes it does happen, though my case was similar to the scenario you outlined above:
The OP (OrganicSoul) commented:
[...]I do know some Asian/Caribbean couples but I'm not even going to count them because in that situation the Asian person lived on an island where 90% of the inhabitants are black.....so it was pretty good chance that would be the result.
In my case I dated a cute little lady from Mauritius (an offshoot Chinese community somehow based on an Island off the coast of Africa, East of Madagascar). Though she was fully North-Americanized like I am, she did speak Creole which I found hilarious (I don't speak it, nor do I speak Patois, my parent's native dialect).
We met in University while clubbing and laughed after our initial exchange - "Oh my God, a Westernized Asian girl that dates outside of her culture!" to which she replied "Oh my God, a cute Westernized Black Guy that isn't ghetto!"  It was "like" at first sight... 
So it was funny to be a couple: a Chinese girl that couldn't speak Chinese, and a black dude that was pretty much "atypically black" in terms of education, diction and demeanor... 
So yes, these couplings do happen, but they do seem to be few and far between if the person was raised "traditionally". Mainstream Asian girls that I've known tend to be interested in sticking with their own culture, or dating Caucasian folk. I say, to each their own.   | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:16:38 PM |
actually saw an Asian/black couple the other day, when I was out shopping. They had a little boy (cutest lil guy!) but unfortunately they were getting quite a few stares when we walked by
Tell me about it. I just don't get the stares. They happen whether I am with someone I am dating and they're Asian or if I am just out with an Asian male colleague. More than once one of us had to ask "What are YOU looking at?" | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:00:27 PM | Sure Asian/Black dating happens. You can always find an example of racial group A/racial group B dating. But I think we can all agree that there are barriers to interracial dating. I think it's more an issue of, what are the barriers that prevent asian /black dating? Can we overcome those barriers? Do we wish to? If so, which ones and how?
I think it's fair to say that one such barrier is the stereotypes, ideas and traits we associate with either group (consciously or subconsciously). Stereotypes of chinese guys are a strange mix of extremes: short, passive (yet domineering), meek (yet pushy), foolish (yet techno-geeks), obedient (yet treacherous). Black girls have their own set of stereotypes which they must live down. But in the end even if she does not fit any of those stereotypes, the very fact that those negative connotations are attached to black women make them less desirable to date. It might be a matter of status, but it might simply be that when most people picture the ideal partner they do not picture a person from a group that they've been implicitly taught is flawed so many ways.
It's not unusual for people to respond to somebody who asks why he/she is ignored by members of another race, "the problem isn't society, it's YOU! YOU need to be less of a loser/jerk/whatever and then everything will go your way!" I'm sure those people mean well, and they're correct to a certain extent. But we should not ignore the effect that racial stereotypes can have. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:05:15 PM | | My uncle married a lady from Japan. They've been together for over 10 years and have two kids. Like the Sensation said, you can always find examples of any racial group dating another. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:00:20 PM |
It's not unusual for people to respond to somebody who asks why he/she is ignored by members of another race, "the problem isn't society, it's YOU! YOU need to be less of a loser/jerk/whatever and then everything will go your way!" I'm sure those people mean well, and they're correct to a certain extent. But we should not ignore the effect that racial stereotypes can have. Yeah that is always the excuse. Someone decides to discriminate and instead of owning it they want to turn around and blame the victim.
I agree with everything you wrote except this sentence:
sure those people mean well, and they're correct to a certain extent.
They don't mean well. They just don't want to be called on their own prejudices. They are NOT correct to a certain extent. Sure there are jerks in all races, creeds and colours but in no way does someone's prejudice translate into the person they are discriminating against (in some cases across the board) being a jerk.
The Asian guys who whine about White women discriminating against them and who then turn around and discriminate against Black women are really a trip and they need to seriously get over themselves. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:28:39 PM | O.P. Using my experience with a very very popular dating site starting with M, that site displays the member's preference for ethnicity.
Very few profiles of Asian women on that site indicate a preference for Black men. It seems much more likely to happen when you are co-workers or get introduced to an Asian woman outside of being on-line.
While they may not state a preference, does not mean she is not open to consider a relationship with a Brother so I say give her a shot. Let us know how you make out, well not make out in that kind of way, in other words, give us a status update. LOL | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:50:53 AM | | Asian/Black dating does happen . I know first hand because I am a product of such a union . I am Black and Phillipino , but at the end of the day I am considered to be a black man . Even though I am proud to be both . I think it's sad that we still live in a world where a person is mistreated because they don't look more of either ethnicities that their mixed with . I have had black people call me "high yellow" and I have had Phillipinos in my own family look at me like is he really in our family ? That's ridiculous . I hope that one day people will learn to just accept the fact that the only race that matters is the human race . | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/12/2008 12:47:00 PM | It's true you don't see it too often, but it happens. I dated a couple of Asian men--one was from Hong Kong and the other from Thailand. And besides being HOTT they were super-nice. I always feel nothing but pity for those who choose to limit themselves out of fear or prejudice (and usually hide behind the "it's my preference..." excuse). It's always fun and fascinating to learn about different cultures, and dating someone of another ethnicity is a great way to do it. Yes, you will get ignorant jerks who feel it is their duty to put their two cents in, but, being from a bi-racial background myself, I tend to just shake my head and move on.
I like all kinds of males, so if variety is the spice of life, SPICE IT UP!!
 | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:56:56 PM | I live just outside of Seattle and there are a lot of Asian women here and like you the AF/BM combination is pretty rare.
Probably for a variety of reasons. Let's be honest blacks are probably pretty low on the totem pole in some Asian households
from within the context of dating desirability. I don't take offense to this. It's not a personal slight on me.
Another thing is cultural. For the most part black men accept a heavier woman and Asians tend to be the most petite of women. I see plenty of pretty Asian women but I'm into curves more than "she's a size 1".
Interesting that the two Asians I've dated (one was East Indian) were both curvy. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:05:13 PM | I have a friend that is Thai and her husband is black.
They have a beautiful daughter.
yes it can happen. Do not loose hope. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:14:54 PM | | ktcaines..... are the kids of these 2 couple cute because they are of mixed race with an asian and a black or are they cute because they are kids? Seems you made that a point so im asking. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:22:45 PM | | Yes it does happen and very much so. Especially in the military community. I am a retired military service member African American and few of my very close friends wives are Asians and others or in a relationship with Asian women. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:57:51 AM | My best friend is Vietnamese and she is married to a jewish man. Her sister is married to a jewish man too and she once told me that her mother would disown her if she married a black man. And yes, her mother too only dates white men. They have been in the country for about 5 years now and I don't think her mom knows any blacks personally so her prejudice is solely based on media representation of blacks.
It's pretty much the same with asian guys. They will only try to score it with white chicks because that is what their parents and culture teach them, that white = success and black = low class. It's racism plain and simple, even though they date interracially they are not equal opportunity daters.
It's ignorant for them to hold such a low views of blacks, even after coming west and seeing first hand that there are many successful and non-stereotypical blacks. But younger generations of asians just propagate this ignorance by not challenging the older generations' prejudices. They simply do what their parents want them to do, even if it's wrong.
That's the general reason why you don't see more asian/black couples. But of course there are those asians who don't give a fu@k and accept love in whatever color it comes. The ones who aren't overly concerned with advancing their status in the world but who simply want to love and be loved. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/13/2008 8:54:01 AM | It's pretty much the same with asian guys. They will only try to score it with white chicks because that is what their parents and culture teach them, that white = success and black = low class. It's racism plain and simple, even though they date interracially they are not equal opportunity daters.
Well said. I agree 100%. The joke is that most White women don't want them yet they continue to chase them and whine about the rejection. How pathetic!
It's ignorant for them to hold such a low views of blacks, even after coming west and seeing first hand that there are many successful and non-stereotypical blacks. But younger generations of asians just propagate this ignorance by not challenging the older generations' prejudices. They simply do what their parents want them to do, even if it's wrong.
I just don't get why their parents encourage them to chase after the descendants of people who interned them (in the case of Japanese Canadians) and placed restrictions on their immigration to this country (in the case of the Asian Exclusion Act and the head tax on Chinese males). It is one of the strongest examples of internalized oppression I have seen in a long time. Clamour after the people who oppresses you and discrminate against people who have never done a thing to harm your people? I just don't get it. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/13/2008 12:25:14 PM |
The joke is that most White women don't want them yet they continue to chase them and whine about the rejection. How pathetic!
True indeed. And just to go slightly off subject, I see so many sistas now doing the same thing with white men. I'll date a white man in a heartbeat and have but I can honestly say I would date a man of any nationality. But what I find pathetic is for sistas to be chasing after these white men and then whining all over forums everywhere about "why don't white men like us?" while at the same time dogging out black men and claiming not to be attracted to them anymore. SISTAS, this is not attractive and is doing nothing for your appeal. White men are laughing at you and brothas are embarrassed by you when you have this type of desperation.
It's a very similar situation to asian males and their pursuit of white women. But then again, black women and asian men are supposed to be at the bottom of the dating pool, right? Ha!
White men are not the only option for sistas who want to date interracially. Asian men are an even slimmer option but these groups' preferences should not define a woman's self esteem. There are so many other groups of men who cherish black women, and not just as sex objects. Europe anyone?
Clamour after the people who oppresses you and discrminate against people who have never done a thing to harm your people? I just don't get it.
That is well put and is a mystery to me as well. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/13/2008 2:39:25 PM | Amber Rain...you are talking my language. There are Black men, East Indian men, Latin American men, European men (raised in Europe without some of the racial and sexist hangups that so many North American raised guys seem to have), and Middle Eastern men to name a few. I have never had a Middle Eastern man refuse to date me because of my race, not even once. Perhaps it's because some of the Middle Eastern countries have had Black people living in their for generations. Some of the Black Middle Eastern men are downright hunky. All I would like to know is how to meet more of them over her. Middle Eastern men also don't seem to be so hung up on women who look like they head straight to the bathroom and barf after every meal (I actually got that experession from a White Canadian guy who spent a lot of time overseas and couldn't understand the fascination so many White Canadian men have with emaciated women).
With respect to Asian men, I do find that men raised in Asia are more open to dating Black women thant those raised in Canada. I can't really comment about how Asian men raised in the USA react to Black women. I am sure some people based south of the border will come along and comment about that.
I just have some questions for the Asian men. What have you got against Black women? Why do you automatically rule out Black women who, like you, were raised here, sometimes in the same communities? What black person has ever harmed you, your parents or your grandparents in any way? Why are you so hang up on people who for the most part don't want you and who have treated you and people who look like you so poorly? I would really sincerely like an answer to that question and I hope that some Asian guys will have the balls to come in here and provide a response. I promise....I will just listen without comment. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/13/2008 3:11:55 PM | Asian women like to have oral sex performed on them and black men don't like to perform oral sex on women that is why you don't see this combination.
Just kidding (I think). Go visit Las Vegas you will see it is more common. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:18:54 PM | It's pretty much the same with asian guys. They will only try to score it with white chicks because that is what their parents and culture teach them, that white = success and black = low class. It's racism plain and simple, even though they date interracially they are not equal opportunity daters.
Yeah you pretty much said it. And whats worse, Asians are not the only ones that think like that. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/16/2008 3:31:49 PM | | Asian women, especially, follow the money and the superficial attitudes of judging/considering based on status or class (in particular, economic class). It's part of the culture and if you consider the Western capitalist culture, it applies no matter which ethnicity or whatever for Asian women (in particular). It's closer to Western/Caucasian (women and men but especially women since they do the choosing) philosophy or values. No one points that out, though. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:14:06 PM | | It's very common around here... I've seen lots of Asian/Black couples walking around where I live. I have friends who are Asians who have married, dated or is currently dating a Black guy. So it does happen.... I guess it all depends on where you live. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:02:41 AM |
I am sure some people based south of the border will come along and comment about that.
And that's why I registered here, just to add my ten cents (high prices of gas makes everything go up y'know).
I just have some questions for the Asian men. What have you got against Black women? Why do you automatically rule out Black women who, like you, were raised here, sometimes in the same communities?
I've dated a couple of women who were of African descent. I approached and dated them because I had never dated sistahs before so I took my chance. I've always and will continue to be attracted to African American women physically.
What black person has ever harmed you, your parents or your grandparents in any way? Why are you so hang up on people who for the most part don't want you and who have treated you and people who look like you so poorly? I would really sincerely like an answer to that question and I hope that some Asian guys will have the balls to come in here and provide a response. I promise....I will just listen without comment.
Almondcookie, you sound bitter toward Asian guys. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/17/2008 11:34:31 AM | Bitter....naw, not all. I have dated Asian guys, 1 for about 2 years. These were positive experiences so I am kind of shocked to find so many who are obsessed with White women. I am just very disappointed and royally ticked off at some of those up here in Canada who could be classified as bananas. That is what other Asians call them. I didn't invent the term. Tequilla Slim, they are sell-outs and Asians who have pride in their roots hold them in even more contempt than I do.
It's the guys who have allowed themselves to be "white washed" who have the problem. For the record, I am not the only person who has pointed this out so don't you dare try to make this about me. I have asked soem legitimate questions Tequilla Slim and I would really like some answers. Since you logged on to respond, I am all ears.
I've dated a couple of women who were of African descent. I approached and dated them because I had never dated sistahs before so I took my chance. I've always and will continue to be attracted to African American women physically. :peace: :hug: | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/17/2008 5:56:23 PM |
so many who are obsessed with White women.
Could be they're so obsessed with white girls is because they're tryin' to get even with those Asian females that rejected them.
But y'know what they say, 'birds of a feather flock together'. Asians in general are a homogenous group. They dress the same, behave the same, drive the same cars, eat the same food, listen to the same musical artists, etc, so then it's no surprise they'll date within the same race - Or if the opportunity presented itself, with caucasian women - This way they won't run the risk of being ridiculed by their racist Asian friends. I've always viewed these types of Asians as too confining, afraid to leave their comfort zone, can't think for themselves....Me on the other hand I don't fit in with Asian folks, my friends are black and they're like me they don't fit in with their African American peers, so we have something in common.
ticked off at some of those up here in Canada who could be classified as bananas. That is what other Asians call them. I didn't invent the term.
I know you didn't invent the term. I've heard whitewashed Asians are referred to as 'bananas' and 'twinkies'. It's hard to get away from white influence in the society in which Asian Canadians and Asian Americans are living in and exposed to - Images of white folks dominate TV, Motion Pictures and Print Ad Media....It gets imbedded into our subconcious, and some let it define who they are unfortunately. | |
|
| Asian/Black dating does it happen?
Posted: 6/17/2008 6:00:56 PM | | Well, from my understanding, "Blacks" and "Asians" generally speaking are on the opposite side of the biological sphere or arena. From their physiological and biological characteristic, to thir psychological characteristic, they differ more from eachother then "white caucasians" do to either. Thats all I'm going to say. | |
|
Home
login 
