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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:26:54 AM | I think it all comes down to peoples needs not getting met and usually this is through poor communication.
Arguments, which I differentiate from debates, resolve nothing unless the core issue is brought to the forefront. | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2008 6:02:52 AM | Lack of communication...on both sides.
The expectation that the other person "knows" what the other wants,needs or is "bothering" them w/o TALKING about it and LISTENING beforehand causes more disagreements than any other issue I can think of.... | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2008 6:23:00 AM | Pazoo & Adam said it best.
Communication Communication Communication !!!!!! thats all there is to it!!!
I personally thought the last relationship I was in was going great. Things in common, great conversations, text through out the day and so much more. All was good, untill one time.
About apologizing, i did that but she wouldn't listen. (and not to blab a whole sad story to all, but it wasn't a bad thing at all.) None the less it boiles down to she didn't want to communicate and talk. And I am sure, talking to friends also played a roll in making matters worse. Friends can good decent advice, but they also don't have the best advice and sometime can be persuasive at times from hearing one side and how things are told.
I always say there are 3 sides to a story, his, hers, then the truth. Not that anyone had to lie, but just doesn't say the whole thing when telling it to someone else. Out of anger, or whatever, things are forgotten about and noone wants to fess up with their mistakes they made during that argument/fight. Its ashame people are that stubborn and fail to communicate these days. Maybe out of self pride, or they don't know how to say sorry once in awhile. Dosen't matter, it's communication period!!!! | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2008 6:41:38 AM | There has to be HONEST communication on both sides. I was in one situation where he would communicate well, but was merely blowing smoke up my you-know-what to appease the issue and it solved absolutely nothing. In fact, it made matters worse.
In my experience, the arguments were caused by infidelity, which led to lying, which led to trust issues and more lying...yah, I'm sure you all can see where that one went. And for the record, the infidelity was not me...I have never cheated on anybody and never, ever will!
I was in another relationship where there was only one major argument in more than four years. Issues were discussed on a mature and honest level, dealt with, and put in the past never to be brought up again. Money was never an issue. Neither was politics. We held different views on some things, but respected one another's values and opinions. Aw, to have that again would be nice! It was certainly a rarity! | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2008 6:45:21 AM |
. msg#42 Sometimes the way you approach somethings this could lead into and argument without proper communications skills.......
Yes, there are those who are very good or even gifted in the art of conversation.
I read this some where a while back and it makes good sense to me.
Rule 1; Never demean or expose a weakness or flaw,it provokes defensiveness,because everyone is right; it makes people mad,because everyone hates to be wrong,
people who are both defensive and mad are going to be ready to quarrel, plus showing people the error in their ways doesn't make your ways right.
Rule 2 ; Explain the positive basis of your own beliefs. People are more likely to adopt new beliefs than to drop old ones;also, people are move receptive to other ideas when not annoyed, and they will listen longer to pleasant,well grounded comments and points.
Plus, your beliefs needn't be ' right';they need only to be a better choice. glow: | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2008 6:52:32 AM | | Arguements also start because people take each other for granted when their a couple. Why can we argue with a friend and get over, yet in a relationship the resentment is hard for some to let go of? | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2008 12:46:50 PM | We've all been married, divorced, widowed or had at least one long term relationship.
Hmm, not me. I dont even know what would cause argument in a relatioship. Perhaps if someone is annoying? Or incapable of logical thinking. | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:30:07 PM | Insecurities, lack of attention, affection and respect.
When a women starts an arguement over something stupid, she wants attention, whether good or bad, she needs something in the means of attention...
Dont take the 'small things' for granted...... | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:00:17 AM | | IMO, it's very personal between any couple. My ex and I had an almost unhealthy amount of mutual agreement in our relationship, but our two biggest fights were triggered while the other was on the phone. One time I was on the phone, she interrupted, and vice-versa.Then we were snapping,yelling,screaming, spray-painting nasty asides like "you suck" on the full moon in day-glo pink, it was almost medieval. | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:08:38 AM |
If momma ain't happy.
Ain't Nobody happy.
Ha, at the risk of sounding sexist, that's true!
I'd say money, jealousy, and lack of communication are the big three. Maybe throw in disrespect.
Obviously addictions and abuse go in there, too, but I think we're talking about problems in your everyday, run of the mill relationships here. | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:13:11 AM | | womans grown kids ! when they refuse to cut the apron strings ! when a person [male female ] puts someone in front of the spouse you or them , you may as well leave ! its not going to change , when the kids are over 21 out of college its time for you an me they can fit in but i wouldnt let my daughters get in the arguments ! if they got ugly [ not recognizing who i was with , i would call them on it immideatly !!!but woman will say oh they didnt meen anything by it or when a daughter tells your gf lies , you can never defend them just leave em flat ! what comes around - goes around ! | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:32:14 AM | | Miscommunication - not telling your partner your needs and wants. Expecting your partner to read your mind is a dangerous game and accomplishes nothing. Also, you get to a point in life where you've go to choose your battles carefully. As a woman, it can be the little stupid things (done over & over) that will really unnerve me. The most important thing one can do in a relationship, is so simple, and that's to LISTEN! | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:53:42 PM | I agree with PretaPorter... Women used to stay home, take care of the children, take care of the house, shop, and prepare dinner for her husband's arrival home from a long hard day at work...(Ward and June Cleaver).. In this day and age, both parties need to work to pay a mortgage, have two cars, go on vacations and just to survive in many cases...That puts tons of STRESS on the relationship... Men still expect the women to take care of them and women are too tired to take care of the house after working all day - no less cook supper and do the usual chores of laundry and children...
Most of my friends' arguments is the fact that the man doesn't do 50/50 with all the household responsibilities... I'm not saying that all men come home from work, lounge around, watch sports and drink beer... I've seen situations where the man does everything around the house, including taking care of the kids, while the woman is out getting her hair and nails done...
Communication, being supportive to each other, and recognize the fact that your spouse or S.O. has also had a hard day/week may cut down on some of the arguing... | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:11:16 PM | An argument is merely the assertion of a preference , opinion or hypothesis, but I think you're refering to verbal, and perhaps physical, fights. Inflexibility and the arrogant assumption that another must meet one's expectations and demands , cause fights , after all, we can discuss differences, and even expectations , without fighting. If you want to change someone , talk to the person in the mirror. If you love suffering, drama and causing pain to those whom you "love" - pick a fight.  | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:46:34 PM |
An unwillingness to forgive and forget; buried tension and a refusal to take personal responsibility for our own emotional management, pretty much.
Spending too much time round each other; some repulsive habits and not showing respect, especially in public.
Unrealistic expectations and a reliance on telepathy as a communication technique followed by anger and outrage the other partner hasn't understood said telepathic communication.
Power and control issues leading to arguments and a lack of an abundance attitude - a belief that a gain for your partner is a loss for you or if your partner looks good at something that automatically makes you look bad at it.
^^^^ what he said!
Whenever you begin to treat your partner worse than your best friend...there's going to be problems. | |
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| What causes most arguments in a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:03:50 PM | | I am going to cut through the chase! The reason couples argue is simple...Unhappiness! so, if you have arguments too often, you need to really take a close look at your relationship! | |
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