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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:10:54 PM | It's in NJ too? I was referring to the Canada bill they were trying to get passed, not NJ.
I didn't know NJ was also trying something similar.
Actually, there are millions of these cases in the courts. Some are just trying to make sure their families don't suffer needlessly.
I've seen many high income earners that didn't care, because they WEREN'T taught to worry about petty things like that.
Look, all this comes down to is that many women anticipate the man to be a provider and protector, and this has been passed down from century to century, by mothers and fathers. There is nothing wrong with this mindset, and it doesn't make a woman a user, if she happens to think that way. It's the way it's been done for eons!
Many women also want to know that the man can provide adequately. Once again, there is nothing wrong with these thoughts, as a woman can contribute in many ways, besides financially. That doesn't make her a USER. But do women laugh behind the man's back when they do what the op did? Yes, unfortunate, but true. Now, you have heard two women say they've seen it and women do it!
How often? Well, I've seen lots of them do this. How often? A WHOLE LOT! And, again, I will remind you that I deal with women all the time. So, I see them do it regularly. :) Don't shoot the messenger, but don't say I didn't warn you.
Now, it just depends on if you want to be viewed in that light, or not. But are they looking at you with respect when you say, "I'm not paying, not even for my own?" Good luck finding one like that, hehe. ;)
And, if you question what I say...feel free to give it the test I mentioned, so that you can find out for yourselves. ;) | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:24:35 PM | I like that reply. I'm old-fashioned and generally pay for everything, but in this case - $80 for sushi - I think she's rightly stuck with it.
Every year Hollywood make some movie that's a version of the Cinderella story. Women are conditioned to want to be treated like princesses. That's not mentally healthy. I see women who post saying they're looking for their prince or their king (as if they're a queen). It's an unhealthy little undercurrent in modern society, and it sounds like you ran into a resentful princess who expected a horse-drawn coach, then decided only later she got a mouse and a pumpkin.
How would she treat you later? Darn right - and very observant. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:31:40 PM |
It's in NJ too? I was referring to the Canada bill they were trying to get passed, not NJ.
I didn't know NJ was also trying something similar.
The DATES situation - collecting palimony from someone you have never had a live-in relationship with - is ONLY in New Jersey. The decision might have come down, I haven't checked. Canada has it's own madness... thankfully not this insane, yet.
Thankfully, times are changing and women you speak of are remnants of out-dated thinking. I sure hope so anyway. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:51:28 PM |
You should find it hard to believe I could take advantage of a man, because I wouldn't.
I could take you any day on a tennis court, or probably in any other sport.
Yeah, I know I'm the ignorant one, because I don't expect some guy to take care of me, sorry, but "I" can take care of myself.
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I didn't say you "wouldn't" take advantage of a man, I said you "couldn't". I'm also not tryin to play a 50yr old woman in tennis, then I would have to hear VULF aka Mr. Honest, bashing me for breaking your hip or something. He doesn't see the antagonistic approach you take on my posts, but only the end result when I set your ass straight. He has the underdog mentality, that, or he would like you to buy him dinner one night.
I understood what you said. Did you understand what I said? Do I need to explain? It's not that I couldn't, I wouldn't. Understand? Do you understand sarcasm?
OMG, you hurt my feelings sooo bad again. The worst thing you can say about me is that I'm old. Pfffftttt. My age doesn't bother me a bit, seems to really bother you though. We all age, even you. I don't need anyone to take up for me. Are you crying because you think he didn't see me being antagonistic to you? How did you set my ass straight? By telling me I'm old? Good job. And I've got news for you, I'm not the underdog, only in your own mind. And at least if I asked someone out, which I don't, but I would not care to pay at all. If I'm actually dating them, and ask them to go somewhere with me, I would be more than willing to pay, ALL of it. It's the give and take. Not do all the TAKING. But since you really set my ass straight, I guess I'd better run and hide, and be humble about the real ass kicking I got from you. Again..... pfffftttt. I would really like to tell you what I think of you, but don't want to get thrown off. Oh, btw, there's a lot of sarcasm in here, pick it out!
Mike seems to have a lot of sense, as well as a few other men posting on here, so I guess he probably could care less about the one who thinks she should have been able to take advantage of him.  | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:17:52 PM | Mike seems to have a lot of sense, as well as a few other men posting on here, so I guess he probably could care less about the one who thinks she should have been able to take advantage of him.
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Well that's the smartest sh!t you've ever said on a thread. I agree, Mike has alot of sense. He's been showing me his "sense" for awhile now 
Get a clue woman 
PS...No sarcasm here  | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:26:10 PM | Jesus sweethang, an hour of family time is all you could make it before coming back to see my thread? I thought I was the one who couldn't ignore the thread.
Me and Kelly(or Kelleigh as you might know her) spend more time together than that and we aren't even family... | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:43:47 PM | | By far your respons "Aleinware Adam" was the best, most appropriat and made the most sense. Pretty good for someone so young! | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 12:59:31 AM | MikeMurray wrote:
Am I wrong, you make the call....
No, dude, you're not wrong.
You're just like me and 100% of the guys out here. No matter what you do as a guy, you're wrong. Women have rigged the game that way....... "Yes, you can date me, just bring plenty of money." 
You can tell the world wasn't set-up by guys, because we wouldn't let it work this way, but it does. Women have figured out that men want approval/action/affection, more often than they do, so they have decided to make the rules. This is in spite of the fact that most of them earn decent money for themselves. Once we men realize this, then we get along fine with them on their terms. The sooner we give in to them, (paying the freight bills to rent their time) the more approval/action/affection they may give us.
Just my thoughts on it.  | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:56:04 AM | hi msflis,
I thank you for your participation.
Your comments are noted and appreciated.
The problem that I see a few, some -many men having with this thread is that in many other previous threads, whenever any woman come on to make such a sweeping generalization about ALL or the MAJORITY of woman, there was an almost instant influx of women who boldly announced that she DIDN'T SPEAK ABOUT ALL WOMEN AT ALL, and that she certainly didn't speak about her!.
That happened so many times that many people made jokes about " now wait for the men/women to come in to say that this opinion is not valid for all women..etc".
That didn't happen here even though ST opinion seemed to be either unpleasant to think about or difficult to swallow. Either way, it cast an entire group of people ( women ) is an unsavory light. Unsavory to the rest of us as people have argued that 'good women' are not like how she described women as being.
So other than yourself , xdamex ( sorry for getting your name wrong but you know who you are ) and margo, there were no women offering a dissenting opinion directly to contradict ST's. There has been a few supporters voice their opinion. I am waiting for the other person to jump in any time now as well.
It's a fair inference for some of the guys to make- the guys who are already leaning towards that conclusion in the first place- that the silence of the women imply that the agree.
The women were not hesitant before.
They took the time to answer and respond before- over things that were not as unpleasant to discover.
They didn't find it beneath them to post their thoughts before.
I tend to agree with you MF, yet am waiting to hear from other women as well before any clear conclusion can be made. However, it may be a close call.
I refuse to give up hope that women seek a fair equitable relationship based upon love, compassion, faith in each other, loyalty to each other and that loyalty extends to the times when they are apart. That one person doesn't diminish the non-financial contribtion of the other to any extent as a person's time, love, loyalty, and willingness to assist & support in times of need as well as calm is often far more important and worthwhile - by any measure of standard- than pure money. That the people involved seek a shared communal experience that lifts them both to higher levels than either would have been able to achieve on their own. And they both cherish each other for their individual contribution. That in the end, in their old age, they both can sit at the coffee shop, watching the young crowd go by, look at each other and say to each other ' " WE DID THAT ....!" " Them were good times. weren't they honey! " | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:02:55 AM |
Mike seems to have a lot of sense, as well as a few other men posting on here, so I guess he probably could care less about the one who thinks she should have been able to take advantage of him.
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Well that's the smartest sh!t you've ever said on a thread. I agree, Mike has alot of sense. He's been showing me his "sense" for awhile now
Get a clue woman
PS...No sarcasm here
So, you and mike are seeing each other. What does that have to do with what you've been saying to me? I think I've pretty much taken his side throughout this whole thread. I would think that would make you happy. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:16:31 AM | momarks...
ST's posts are long, convoluted and nonsensical. She does not use the quote feature, which makes them hard to follow, frequently has not understood another poster's points and rarely is addressing a point. That women are not jumping in to comment may simply relate to her poor communication skills rather than any agreement with her points. Disagreement is futile as there is no intelligent discourse about ideas or opinions.
Other threads reveal a million different attitudes. Why be so bothered with one voice, and a convoluted one at that? | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:20:49 AM | ^^^^ beat me to it. lol...
It's a fair inference for some of the guys to make- the guys who are already leaning towards that conclusion in the first place- that the silence of the women imply that the agree.
The women were not hesitant before.
They took the time to answer and respond before- over things that were not as unpleasant to discover.
They didn't find it beneath them to post their thoughts before.
I think part of the reason women are not responding; there's just too much to read in each post, too many saying the same thing, they've already replied, and give it up, seen too many replies, and decided it was of no use to do it themselves. But I don't think women feel the same way, at least not the ones I know.
I personally think you should be on equal ground. I don't think all women are out looking for someone to take care of them. Men should not have to pay for everything. Women should not expect them to.
My first marriage, I was a stay at home mom, mostly. 2nd marriage, I always brought home more money than him, due to child support. 3rd relationship, we were on equal ground. And it all worked out okay, because there was the mutual respect, feelings, and talking about how to deal with what. But those situations are way down the road from where OP was.
I think if a woman had come on here and said the same thing, I didn't eat, and he got shitty about paying for my $2.00 drink, you would probably have seen some things you probably wouldn't have wanted to. Or maybe you would!
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:13:18 AM |
I think if a woman had come on here and said the same thing, I didn't eat, and he got shitty about paying for my $2.00 drink, you would probably have seen some things you probably wouldn't have wanted to. Or maybe you would!
I would hope that it would have been much the same:
30-40-30 for ( much like a balanace bar...!! lol )
30 % get over yourself- pay for your drink and shaddupabowdit
40 % who gives a shit-- you two should have spoken about who was going to pay for what.
30% give the guy an enema - he should have coughed up the dough for your sprite.
or 25-50-25.
or whatever. People who go on and on about how the numbers were derived are missing the point which is : a few believe that A was wrong. a few believe that B was wrong. the rest of the people are between these two extremes and really don't give a shit-
They wonder why the two didn't talk about this before hand.
Why he didn't bother to even offer to pay and
Why the heck didn't she say " pony up the 2 bucks mister and we'll be on our way!"
Who the he77 drinks sprite anyway!? what kind of wuss orders a sprite? he he he.
oh yeah... my disclaimers....
we all know what assuming does.. it'... oh wait... i can't use that one anymore....
dang...
the numbers_ taken from a mathematical system or model taught explicitly in grade 10- the statistical model known as the normal distribution where a great many people really are pretty cool about things , then there are a lesser number of people who really reall agree and an another group of people who really really disagree.
and by cool about things- they seek clarification, suggest that each specific situation warrants it's own specific answers and resolution, see both sides of the issue and don't really concern themselves overly much about it.
This modal could be skewed towards one of the extremes. This is possible. In issues/events where one option is seen as the only viable one by a clear majority of the population.
it could also be a bimodal distribution.
I am absolutely certain that most people are intuitively aware of this phenomeon of most people being ambivalent about this things with what is known as outliers at both ends .
some, afew , many, most people would have recognized this phenomenon.
IN extreme polorizing issues, the camp is usually divided into fewer groups ( for and against )
IN this issue- it is not just a women - men thing. So many people have experienced so many things over the course of their lifetime that issues may not only be seen as 'female" or " male" . So there is no 'right' answer which I why I say that most people would fall in the middle with the extreme viewpoints held by a smaller yet not insignificant number of people .
it could be redefined as " yes" "maybe- it all depends ". 'no"
I chose the normal distribution for my example as I have not often run into social issues such as this that could be explained by a quadratic equation where "a" is a positive number. The graphs are usually the usual normal bell curve sort of thing or are squashed or elongated versions of them- parabolic or elliptical in nature. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:38:18 AM | Momarks - You crazy romantic! All those .... percentages, fractions and numbers have made my head go giddy-yup.
Is it your round?
Make mine a double champagne-c+cktail-s*x-on-the-bed-tequilla-sunrise-bountiful-super-duper-puper-scuper with choctastic ice cream topping and a cherry umberella.
... Cheers Darleeeng x
If it's my round we can have a can of Sprite with two straws. Bagsy first suck.
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Dia623
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Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 366 | |
| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:44:00 AM | Uhhhh You shoulda paid for your Sprite dude..that was rude!
You came off as a cheapo! NOT cool! lol...let it die....learn from this.
Better luck next time!  | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 11:54:01 AM |
momarks...
ST's posts are long, convoluted and nonsensical. She does not use the quote feature, which makes them hard to follow, frequently has not understood another poster's points and rarely is addressing a point. That women are not jumping in to comment may simply relate to her poor communication skills rather than any agreement with her points. Disagreement is futile as there is no intelligent discourse about ideas or opinions.
Other threads reveal a million different attitudes. Why be so bothered with one voice, and a convoluted one at that?
As is so often true with her, itsmargo has it exactly right.
And mo, I loved your coffee-shop scenario. Don't give up the dream!
--Ms. Flis | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 1:14:50 PM | I can't believe there are this many pages of BS over paying for a flipping sprite.
How petty can you get here?
The gentlemen that I have been out with would have firmly taken the check from me and would have happily paid for the whole thing without giving it another thought.
That is probably what she was used to also. She even said as much. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 2:10:08 PM | Okay, I think you should have just paid for your own Sprite, instead of just assuming that she would pay for it...BUT...she sounds like a biatch.
On the other hand, if the roles were reversed, and you were the one who had the sushi and she only had the pop, she should have paid for her own pop, too, rather than assuming. It goes both ways.
Seems pretty obvious to me that she invited you, at least partly, so that you would pay for her meal.
For her to spaz over a pop is silly.
Why would you even consider going out with her again?
I vote for numbers 1 & 5 on your list. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:13:46 PM | Dic Tracy calls it integrity....not an anger issue. Further more I march to the beat of no womans drum! I simply have not evolved to the ultra modern candyass watered down standards of society. If figure its why I'm single.
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:41:28 PM | | This chic is a prima donna who was looking for someone to pay her bill. lol at deleting you off my ....ace shes a bit jump the gunnish. If I asked you to accompany and you came I would pay for your soda , she invited you! I would leave her alone shes not worth the 2 dollars let alone an envelope to send it in. Thank goodness you found out now shes a loon. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:25:11 PM | Ask her out again and tell her it's dutch, if you're that despertate to see her.
She's a cheap sponger who asked you to go with her so she could get a free meal, even if you didn't order anything yourself. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/12/2008 9:30:15 PM | So far, of the women that have responded, I've counted 7 that agree, he should have paid for his sprite and he sounded cheap and petty, 2 that didn't read all or most of the posts and just sprouted off with "she was lame," and approximately 3 that obviously kept up with it and disagreed outright, believing she should have paid for all and she should have shut up and liked it.
Oh, you also have to add in the ones that say those that voice their opinions of the cheap and petty op are ridiculous and sick, mentally (after all, they're therapists, hehe), and the ones that like to use ad hominems instead of sticking to the facts of the argument (that would be two females and two males). Of course, males don't count, since it's the females that are the ones that date you guys!
Hmm...so far, it's not looking too good for the op, or those that follow in tow with his thought frame, at least, from what I can see. ;) | |
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