| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:13:38 AM | | I would not have expected you to pay for my meal, but you should have paid for your soda. It may have been only a couple of bucks, but I don't think cost is what she was looking at. I think she may have thought you were too cheap to order a meal and ordered a soda to get out of paying. So your mistake was saying, yes I'll go to watch you eat. You should have said: "Sorry I already ate today but how about this Saturday, can I take you out to eat?" then taken her to a restaurant you could afford-even if it was for just a slice of pizza and paid. I don't think she is crazy;she is old fashioned. In the adult world, we pay when we ask...unless it's a date. If a guy asks me to go dutch, he's a friend, a colleague or an associate,not a date. Why? because he does not care enough to impress me.It is more important to him to count dollars and cents. As for those that would jump to tell me that is taking back the women's movement, remember how much men earn for every one of our dollars. We still get paid less for equal work. I went out on a date with a guy from this site. He asked me and then was like:" We go dutch because I have had some dates that were disasters". When we got to the restaurant, he picked a fight with the waitress over something stupid which was HIS fault because he was not clear when he ordered,all to get out of leaving her a tip. Then on the way out he couldn't stop telling me how great a time he had with me! Yet... he still made me pay for my dinner. I thought he was just making disaster dates pay and he liked me! I had visions of marrying this gem and being expected to go dutch on every bill for the rest of my life-not ours but yours and mine. Call it what you like but that to me would not be a husband but a house mate and I am too old and old fashioned for that.Oh and before you judge me, I own my house which I bought on my own and work full time. I can hold my own financially, but when it comes to love it should be a shared venture-not yours and mine but ours. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:34:35 AM | | doesn't seem unreasonable that she pay for your sprite. women shouldn't be cheap either. it's just a nice gesture is all. drop her. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:51:07 AM | #2 but dont pay for insurance, send it certified mail just to piss her off further.
She will have to get off her butt and go to the post office to get her 2 bucks!
You are not wrong with not offering to pay, she asked for your company. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:01:13 AM | First, do this. You'll feel much better afterward.:
(2) Get her address to mail her $2. Pay for insurance on the letter so she knows I'm not cheap.
Then, definately do this.:
(1) Let it die. It's better to know what kind of person she is | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:58:28 AM | Op thanks for this funny story, glad to see I'm not alone out there when encountering crazy women that expect you to pay for their company even if THEY asked you out... 
A two-dollar soda? She flipped out over a two-dollar soda during a meal you DROVE her to go eat... Simply mind-boggling. Yes I suppose a token offer on your part of the two bucks plus tip (bringing it to a grand total of $2.30 just to be safe ) should have been tendered, but that could have also been construed as borderline insulting with other progressive women that exist out there.
The main thing I would have done in that situation was thank her earnestly for the soda, even if it seemed trivial. At least that way you are acknowledging the fact that she paid for something she did not have to...
I had a similar fiasco occur with an ex-girlfriend back when I was in University. I was always paying for our dates since I made way more cash doing lab work part-time than she did working in clothing retail. So one day she actually bought ME dinner at an inexpensive restaurant, and thinking nothing of it since I've paid so much more on average, I didn't make a big deal of thanking her for the dinner, just gave her a hug and a kiss afterwards as we went about our evening... Big Mistake.
Next thing you know I had to hear about it all week about "how I don't appreciate her" and blah blah blah. For ONE $30 meal compared to the HUNDREDS I've spent during our 3 month courtship at this point... I apologized for the oversight on my part, but I knew then and there we were likely doomed down the road, and a few months later I proved myself right when I had to dump her for various reasons... 
Keep a watchful eye OP, no matter how far we come in society, somehow we're always going to be expected to pay for nearly every darn thing according to a FEW women... Fortunately there are plenty of others out there that are actually WORTH IT   | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:11:25 AM |
(2) Get her address to mail her $2. Pay for insurance on the letter so she knows I'm not cheap.
LMAO..funny.
(5) Stop dating crazy women.
'nuff said.
OP- You weren't wrong. I wouldn't have expeted you to pay if I invited you.
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:13:15 AM | | I never have a problem paying for the bill on a date especially if the date was my idea in the first place. But seeing it was her idea to go out I dont think she should be all upset that she paid her own meal and your soda. Isn't the idea of asking someone out to a restaurant so you can spend time together and get to know each other on top of eating a good meal? Seems like she was more interested in a free meal and she didn't get it. It shouldn't be all about money and who should pay the bill but if two people had a nice meal and great company. If you gave her $5 to pay your portion she probably likely would still be complaining. But bottom line I dont think you did a thing wrong. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:15:53 AM | | The OP could have offered to pay for the Sprite. Whenever I go out on a date, I always offer to pay what I ordered regardless of who asked whom. Unless the other person mentioned that they would pay for the entire bill. However I do think this woman overrreacted in this situation. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:52:08 AM | O.P. There is an unwritten rule that as a man, you always offer to pay for whatever you consume, plus tax and tip.
Next, unfortuantely the general assumption that women have when on a date, no matter who initiated the action, is that the man pays. There are some progressive and modern women who will offer to pay if they asked you out, but they are in the minority.
Any women who offers to pay or contribute anything on the first date either has some style and class, she's got some discretionary money, or she's not really feeling you at all and does not want you to think that if you paid for the meal that you are getting some of her cookies later.
Finally, know that a certain number of women on these sites see dates with men as a meal plan. They bounce from guy to guy who spend lavishly on them here and there and then once you try to move to step 2, a couple of mouse clicks and you are blocked and deleted. 
Some will even go so far as to order an extra meal to take home for her son/daughter becasue she did not get to cook in order to go out on a date with you.   | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 11:56:04 AM | | you shoulda offered to pay your soda. although she's being stupid. i would have said 'okkk so that's 10 from me and do you have 2?'... but i'm a broke student so i'm allowed to be cheap. well shot of her. | |
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Mr H2O
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Joined: 10/31/2006
Msg: 112 | |
| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:33:25 PM | Mike/OP , Help- I'm being crucified for a similiar thing on forum "Food as a first date"
Women in 2008 really have to get over the man pays the tab thing | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:41:45 PM | First you should have paid for your drink, second she should have paid for her meal.
Now since I date older men I have problems with them getting mad cause I pay, the first time we met I will always pay for whatever I have, then if we decided to go further it's who asked who out.
Only far, but boy do I hear about it!!! | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:49:58 PM | | the most satisfaction would be obtained from option 2, however since we are all supposed to act like emotionally mautre adults the wisest thing to do would be to pick options 1 and 5... | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:51:07 PM | Re the Opost
Her problem it seems was double:
a) The guy did not pay for the whole tab
b) He did not pay for his soda
Based on (a), I would go with options (1) and (5). Plenty of sane fish! | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:03:55 PM |  OP!!!OP!!oh please,you are not an idiot are you? you know damn well that you should offer to pay for that damn sprite!!! lesson to be learned: never ever go out on a date if you are broke !!! yes, you were wrong...Next!!!!!!! | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:16:41 PM | I don't know about most woman, but me personally if I invite a guy out I expect to pay unless it is pre arranged that were going dutch. If I guy invites me out, I expect him to pay unless it is pre arranged that were going dutch.
I think you did nothing wrong at all. You told her you had already eaten, that you would go with her for the company. All you had was a sprite.
Dude run away from that one fast. Obviously she is looking for a walking wallet....and gives the rest of us a bad name. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:18:54 PM | | LOL...you watched her eat because you weren't hungry? What real man sits and watches a chick eat....girls do that with guys but not the other way around. It wasn't even about the sprite...it's about the bill only being $12 bucks and you didn't pick it up. Seems cheap to me....you could have rolled that into an interesting night.. Get it.. Rolled! Be generous and females will be generous in their own way with you! (not meant in a sexual way) | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:22:42 PM | If she was a gf of any kind and the bill was only 12 bucks with or with out ur soda .I think a gentleman offers to pay the whole bill at that point
1. she could say no I ate u didnt ty anyway
then u should say well let me at least buy my soda
2 At that point she could say ok or no i appreciate u coming with me so I didnt have to eat alone
3 Then you would say ok let me at least leave the tip
She could say no but ty anyway or ok Ill let ya and ty
This is the way i feel a man not only impresses a woman and his friends but it shows character and goodness. Dude ,it was 12 bucks Ive had men pick up more than that and I really appreciated it and thought highly of them and that is something | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:29:23 PM | You would offer to pay the tab for friends, but not this lady, who obviously might be interested in you (enough to invite you out?)
I think you should realize that women may not expect you to pay for them, now a days, but certainly...your mother taught you manners and you should have paid for your own.
Look, I don't know about many of you fellas, now a days, and I understand that the times are changing, but my children were raised to know that if they go out with a lady, regardless of who invites whom (proper etiquette) they should cover the check, unless a bunch of people are invited, such as a group.
Otherwise, they take the chance that they will be looked upon as VERY CHEAP!
Look at it this way...you would generally do the same if you were out with a male friend, simply out of courtesy. So, why would this be any different? Ever hear of manners, selflessness, and all the other positive aspects that are deemed upon people who do things like that for others?
And some of these ladies here...boy, some of them will say anything to get you guys to think that they wouldn't do the same. SAD, SAD, SAD! Ladies, stop sucking up! | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:32:50 PM | Never ever... Men need to be men and woman woman its nice that way..No one should take advantage of a mans generosity .Im very careful to order equal or less than the man . I dont make alot of money I cant afford to eat out. I cant buy his food either. Im up front about that...I also found the more equal I am the more I end up paying all the time and the guy is now my ****.. No men ..use wisdom and u woman too. Alot of men want to take me out for dinner cause they havent had a date to go out with in a while hey me either its fun even if its not a love connection. It was still fun | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:41:32 PM | | Could it be said that just as men don't like it when women assume the man will play...women just as well don't appreciate it when a guy assumes the woman will pay. I think you should have ponied up atleast and not assume, even though she may have had no problem paying. I think I would have been a little put off as I usually do go dutch and don't expect men to be paying for me and I sure as heck hope he doesn't expect me to be paying for him or we just take turns picking up the tab. In terms of how you should handle her...if you like her that much...well now you know where she stands...and if it's something you can tolerate then the relationship could be salvageable...relationships involve interaction through various situations and scenarios and it is through these experiences you get to learn/know more about it each other and grow as a couple granted the interest is there to learn, build, make compromises, get some understanding and appreciate such experiences as you intimately get to know each other better. You be the judge. People aren't perfect, relationships aren't perfect...it's always a work in progress...if the interest is truly there to put in the energy. | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:04:08 PM | My favorite is option #2, but then again, it isn't the nicest thing you could do.
I *DO have a question though... Option #5 is "Stop dating crazy women", but your OP stated "We aren't even dating" (clearly you aren't sure yourself). Is it possible that *you* did in fact invite *her* out and are unsure of that as well??? Or maybe *you* had the sushi and *she* had the sprite???
Just a thought...  | |
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| Am I wrong, you make the call...
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:19:37 PM | I'm old fashioned so I would have given her $2 for the sprite; that wasn't very classy of you but its not a federal offense.
You can't win my friend; she invited you just so you had to pay I guess; its obvious your company wasnt' worth $2; what a sleazy person. I know a girl like this and the first time we went dutch, she stopped wanting to go out. What a user.
Look at all the women that rip on guys when they want to pay for the meal. I just read one post where several women got offended if a man wants to pay for them; they can afford it and they are independent; then if you dont pay, you are cheap and insensitive.
Chivalry is dead; and women killed it.
Dont do anything; dump this chick like yesterdays news. She just wanted you to come so you could pay for dinner. $80? did they catch the fish for her.
Dont be a fool and keep going out with her. I know you think she's pretty but she isnt into you; she likes that guys pay for her so you are one of those she calls.
Move on and get a real women that wont freak out. And who cares if she thinks you are cheap; she's the cheap one for ****ing about paying for a sprite. Dont prove anything to her. She's nobody; Walk away. | |
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