| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:31:07 AM | OP, I think it releases you to speak the truth and tell your feelings. It doesn't sound as if he returns the feelings to the extent you do. At least you can make your decision, which will be either to move on or to wait and see if he develops the same feelings you do.
Many years ago when I was a junior in college, I let a guy I had been crushing on for years know how I felt. We had had a few romantic enounters when I was a freshman, but then drifted apart. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I had not spoken to him in months, and I had no idea what his response would be. He gave me an ambiguous response, which I translated as a "no". Even though it was somewhat of a rejection, I felt elated and released that I finally found out and I could finally move on. You are NOT an idiot, just a person living courageously! | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 1:57:58 PM | | You are acting very immature IMHO. I am more worried that already at such a young age you are terrible at picking a good guy. If they say anything nice you melt. Dont hear the words, look at the actions. Time doesnt make you mature, changing bad behaviors does. | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:21:41 PM | He was listening very well, he heard every word you said.
You are the one that is not listening, You even go so far as to Contridict yourself!
So to answer your question honestly, I am afraid you are the idiot.
You said in your post Quote:
The other night, I tell him, I still have feelings for you, and I do not feel right having other "friends". and I am wanting to knock it down to just being you.
Then you go on to say... Quote:
Bear in mind, I was not asking if he wanted a relationship, I even told him I dont want one right now. I was asking his feelings.
Now Which is it? If I were the guy I would certanly be scared off by those remarks.
I asked him his feelings, and after extended times of NO responses, and alot of "I dont know what I want." I said **** up.
Open your eyes girl , He dumped you! He is not interested in you and was trying to let you down gently. He did not want to lie or give you false hope, on the same token he did not want to hurt your feelings.
Here let me try to clear it up for you,
He is not interested in a committed relationship with you !
Get over it........... Move on now.........
JMBBO
BadBoy~ | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:37:44 PM | He's not an idiot... He's not evil..... He's a man. He didn't want to hurt your feelings and thought if he didn't say anything it would all just go away.
You wanted to know how he felt.... if he wanted more with you HE would have told you. You can either hang out with him but, distance yourself.... or don't hang out with him at all. It's all about what you can handle.
Work on meeting new people..... Quit over analyzing and trying to get everyone to say this guys an idiot..... Honestly, if you look in the mirror... YOU'RE embarrassed that you poured your heart out... and didn't get anything back. (it happens... it hurts... we grow.... we move on) | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:11:04 PM | Not for the OP...
even if it was something along the lines of 'im (I'm?) not sure what i want'
What part of
and alot of "I dont know what I want."
didn't you understand?
To the OP...
If you don't spend a lot (not alot) of time thinking about them, feelings can be difficult things to manage. So here you put him on the spot and add to the mix that most guys don't want to get females crying, which could be a possibility under the circumstances, and you get a lot of equivocation.
Ask him to take a couple of weeks to sort things out and get back to you. Then do nothing. Use the time to begin getting over him. And, no, you don't get over someone by hooking up with somebody else. If, in two weeks, or maybe a bit more, you'll find out if you needed the get over time. No response = no deal, no deal = no deal.
In many ways dating is like shopping. How many times have you seen something that is so cool that you just have to have it? Rats! It doesn't fit. Same thing here. And don't forget that as long as you are doing nothing but wait for him, he is in control. How much of your life do you want under the control of someone who really doesn't care? | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:20:57 PM | sounds like although he likes you, he has some committment issues.
since neither one of you is in a position to have a relationship, come to a decision. either be his friend- or dont.
peace. | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:33:01 PM |
And one more thing - in my experience people who leave you wondering what the hell's going on either have a secret agenda they're planning on manipulating you into (it's a power move) or they just don't have the guts to be straight.
I agree with this. The thing is, it takes courage to tell the truth as well as hear the truth. If someone can't give you the dignity of the truth, whether it be good or bad, you need to move on and find someone who has the courage and the respect for you to tell you the truth. | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:25:51 PM | @ bad boy
Have you read my other posts? Anything else in this thread that I said. No contradiction.
While yes I agree I was the idiot in this situation. Everything was laid out, nice and simple. Having him be my sould fwb does not mean we are in a relationship. It just means, I am not having any others.
Did you also miss the part where he denies, "not" having feelings for me. hie fav phrases have been as follows, "I dont know what I want." and "Its not that I dont care about you..."
So sry if Im a lil more than confussed and angry about the whole situation. | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:38:36 PM | The message you are replying to:
Posted By: tru218 on 6/1/2008 1 40 PM
Subject: Am I the idiot or is he?
just to let you know, I dont have to rely on my looks, I have a brain and I use it.
So, maybe you should not judge me... I dont have any trouble finding a man
Thank you very much | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:11:18 PM | The message you are replying to:
Posted By: tru218 on 6/1/2008 140 PM
Subject: Am I the idiot or is he?
just to let you know, I dont have to rely on my looks, I have a brain and I use it.
So, maybe you should not judge me... I dont have any trouble finding a man
Thank you very much
I am not judging you...just paraphrasing what you YOURSELF wrote in your profile.
OK...now I am quoting..."you know it really sucks being alone and you think a pretty girl like me would no problem but I do" | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:54:18 PM | | ok guys lighten up on him....i mean come one for all you know he is a single parent that busts his butt so he can support his child, or if he is planing on moving soon and did not want to hurt her...how can you give an option on something with only knowing half the story...heck not even half of the story... why is always the guy fault if he is not ready to get in to something because he has a bunch of stuff going on....so why does the man have to be an idiot, what if the guy did not want to be a FWB type of thing...he did not want to get in to anything and to him sex is more then sex...so just becouse a man turns away sex makes him an idiot....think abotu it ppl | |
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| Am I the idiot or is he?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:22:49 PM | You were honest and that is a good thing. You are not an idiot for telling him your feelings. It seems he was sending you mixed singles and maybe he does not know what he wants.
Move on. | |
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