| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:29:14 PM |
Looking for judgments?
1. just keep screwing with this guy's head and groin while you have a profile looking for long term
2. just keep starting dumb threads for attention and pity
3. keep living up to your username.
Find more friends with benefits.
This is productive how? If you don't like a thread, I would encourage you to take the high road and just click your "back" button. When you post things like this, it says a lot more about you than it does about the person you're insulting. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:44:44 PM | There's a lot you can say.
1. I like you a lot.
2. I'm starting to like you a lot.
3. I really like you a lot.
4. I'm going to miss you (on his way out)
5. I miss you (on the phone or the TTY/TTD)
If you think about it, you could say a lot. Then you can move to something like "I think I'm falling in love with you." But make sure you just placed a plate of Lasagna in front of him, then hide to the kitchen. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:11:51 PM | LOL! Yeah, but I've always preferred Data's definition:
“As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The inputs are eventually anticipated, even missed when absent.”  | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:20:04 PM |
have gotten together with this man on and off for maybe three years. Have canned him once or twice for inconsiderateness and undependability. We have never really "dated," for one thing he is nearly deaf and has difficulty in public venues.
On and off for 3 years but never "dated"? Deaf people can date too you know.
Yet we keep getting together, and since we're both very affectionate and very physical, we sometimes end up in bed. Recently I found myself wanting to say "I love you." I didn't. I'm too experienced to toss that around lightly, and I don't think our circumstances merit it. Instead I said "you make me feel so accepted," and he thanked me for accepting him too (there's a lot that needs acceptance, truthfully - in both directions).
To me the above sounds more like a physical relationship with no strings attached.
So if you aren't dating, it is just being together at his house or yours?
What is wrong with this picture ?? | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:07:58 PM | Well Royal Pain,
I quit asking men "Do you love me?" because...because it became an arm wrestle to get it out of them, and that arm wrestle included ways to assure me they weren't "in love." I understand---from other forum posts on this topic---it can be very SCARY to even consider the concept of loving someone, particularly after a bad breakup.
Yet, by giving up the notion of looking for expression of those words, I've given up my dream of wanting to hear and to say loving words...its a very delicate balance to be so separate and all alone in the world. Being "not in a relationship" for 3 years is very taxing on one's psyche...it's a hope killer, I'd reckon. You may think that this can keep your heart from getting broke again--but that is precisely what is being reinforced, every day, by avoiding, denying...not feeling the loving feeling...that empty heart is pretty much broke.
Oh, wait. The reason I started this post is because Jesus asked this (Do you love me?) of Simon Peter THREE times. And THREE TIMES Simon Peter sorta ducked the answer (if you happen to have a Bible in Greek or Hebrew, you'd be able to discern the different words/meanings for love). So, I do believe that asking it is a way of telling the other person you care--and boy, is it scary not getting the answer. Three years without this feeling is a sad waste of hearts--for both of you. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:26:07 PM | | He heard you? You don't "date" because he is nearly deaf? I am confused. Deaf people date. I hope he runs for the hills, you don't sound like you deserve him because you don't sound like you respect him. Just when I thought it was only the men on here that were insensitive clods. Thanks | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:42:20 PM |
To me the above sounds more like a physical relationship with no strings attached.
So if you aren't dating, it is just being together at his house or yours?
What is wrong with this picture ??
No strings attached whatever, but not purely physical. Because of my professional training and his professional training, we are able to provide understanding to one another that someone else might not provide. So there is an emotional element, too.
My house, or his car, or my car, or going for a drive, or asking him to come over and put upright a heavy piece of furniture that had fallen, or IM'ing or texting. I hate texting, but phone calls are difficult though not impossible for him.
You tell me, Ageless Wonder. What IS wrong with this picture? I actually don't think the picture needs to be improved. You do. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:45:09 PM |
He heard you? You don't "date" because he is nearly deaf? I am confused. Deaf people date. I hope he runs for the hills, you don't sound like you deserve him because you don't sound like you respect him. Just when I thought it was only the men on here that were insensitive clods. Thanks
All right, I'll bite. What exactly did I say to lead you to believe I don't deserve him, or that I was an insensitive clod? Where did you get that I don't respect him? | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/1/2008 9:24:03 PM |
You tell me, Ageless Wonder. What IS wrong with this picture? I actually don't think the picture needs to be improved. You do.
If nothing is wrong, then carry on RoyalPain, you were the one who asked the question in the first place.
If you love this guy, or if you just want a friendship, it is YOUR life, not mine. I could care less. | |
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ddsk
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Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 35 | |
| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:04:06 AM | Ok ladies, let's flip it around.
What do you do when a man says I love you first? Does it scare you? Do you question his motives?
I had a relationship in which I said it and she ... never ... said ... it ...
until we broke up, and she said she had loving feelings for me but wouldn't say Love.
See, it's not just men. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:35:37 AM |
No strings attached whatever, but not purely physical. Because of my professional training and his professional training, we are able to provide understanding to one another that someone else might not provide. So there is an emotional element, too.
Are you a couple of escorts that like giving each other freebies because there is an emotional understanding about not getting involved with paying clients.
Or maybe a massage parlor where you sip coffee together between clients and that's why you don't have time for coffee dates.
What kind of professional training teaches no strings sexual encounters. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:06:50 AM | People seem to be thinking that I refuse to share my love, or I'm afraid to share my love, or I'm afraid to love.
In fact, what happened is, I was surprised to experience that feeling in the context of a rather patchy on/off friendship. I'm not sure exactly what I want/feel/expect from this, and I don't want to hurt anyone or toy with their feelings, when I cannot follow through. I simply need to think about this for a while.
I appreciated the post (from sam-spade) that said I could start off with things like "I like you," "I like you a lot," and "I miss you." I already do say things like that to my gentleman friend - and he says them to me. Then we don't communicate for three or four weeks.
So... this is one of those stereotypical "go slow" situations. Wish me luck! | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:07:53 AM |
We don't have to say...we love...read our eyes.
So true, ankkka! And the eyes are saying quite a lot! | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:59:04 PM | RP,
I think I know where you are coming from. I have a friend who has been dating a man for a few months. They spend a lot of time together and she has been very careful with the physical side of the relationship. He has been a perfect gentleman.. but she is not sure this is who she wants for a Long Term relationship.
She herself has nearly said the three words to him but stops herself... because she does not know if she is just longing for a mate, or if she is truly falling in love with him..
So she spents phone time with me discussing it ... heck I got nuttin else to do right???
You might want to do some reflection on this girlfriend.. sounds like you might want to make some decisions..
Good luck!!! | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:09:49 PM | | Royalpain, are you just using him to "scatch your itch" or do you have feelings for him but feel that you should be able to do better than him because of his deafness? Don't you realize that this man has feelings? You speak of your professional training but your posts on these threads sound like you are the most messed up of us all. If you love him, you love him. If you don't, you don't. If you are using each other for a sexual outlet, then do it and keep it to your self and don't play with the guy's feelings. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:32:09 PM | | I think it's more like he's using me to scratch his itch. So what? I don't mind, and I don't have feelings, so it's not like they can be hurt. Thank you for your input, Miss Dix. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:37:04 PM | | Well if that is the way it is, why the thread? What is your problem? Maybe he can be your date to your son's wedding. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:39:30 PM | | Please don't say anything you would have to write me a private letter of apology over, MissDix. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:39:52 PM | This thread is definitely confusing.. Someone who doesn't have feelings, almost saying , "I Love you"..
I see now, I spend way too much time in these forums!! | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:43:59 PM | | Agelesswonder, don't feel too confused. The OP tells different stories on different threads. She is confused and so are the rest of us. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:58:30 PM | ^^^ Well, you've written to me privately to apologize before. Maybe it would be best if you didn't speak to me, nor I to you.
I'm being very big in overlooking your telling me that I'm the most messed up one here ... an assertion which is blatantly untrue. | |
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| Maturely Not Saying I Love You
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:19:04 PM | | this has got to be the stupidest thing i've ever heard....for gods sake how old are you....lol | |
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