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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/16/2008 7:48:31 AM | Good questions! I've been on a two or three dates with people I met on POF, though considering that I've had two different profiles on here, spanning 2 1/2 years, 2 or 3 dates isn't much at all. I might even say I've been pretty unsuccessful here. Generally when I do meet someone on a dating site, this or any other, I like to meet sooner rather than later. I prefer getting to know a person face to face to spending a lot of time exchanging emails and phone calls, mostly due to the fact that, regardless of how good he seems in "cyber life", it's only in real life, face to face meets, that I can get a feel for the chemistry, or lack thereof, we share. So I'd say I usually will exchange 2 - 4 emails in advance of meeting a person face to face.
As far as how I like to be approached...THAT'S the good part of the question. I like things to be very casual for a first meeting. No flowers, candy, or gifts of any kind (it smacks of bribery, eg. "pick me!!! pick me!!!", or desperation even). I prefer not to do dinner on a first date...somehow it seems like too much investment to put into just meeting someone to see how you'll get along. I like to save the dinner dates for after we've already ascertained that we DO get along, and want to spend time together.
Cool and casual definitely works much better for me...and at the end of that first date, I like the cards laid out on the table, if possible. I'll tell him my first instincts, and hopefully he'll do the same...and we go from there. Might be going our separate ways, but sometimes life's just like that. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/16/2008 8:03:24 AM | Me! Actually I'm not looking for a date, just for friends. I've met 4 people from this site in 2 months.
1. Talked a little while before meetings, had plenty of online talks and phone talks.
Experience was really well, we hung out twice.
2. Talked a day before meeting, had a few phone calls in the day.
It went extremely well! We still talk all the time! She just has some stuff going on in her life.
3. Talked a day before meeting, literally had 1 phone call.
It went really well, she's a total modelesque babe, and I felt like her older brother when we hung out. She gets men throwing themselves at her, and I was telling her what to watch out for.
4. Talked 2 months before meeting, had plenty of 2 hour phone calls.
Went extremely well. She and I are on the same wavelength. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/16/2008 10:37:53 AM | | Met one a year ago, dated "long distance", relocated to find out within hours of moving to another state he was a 99% fake. Odly enough, he turned it around and said I should have never moved there ( he knew damn well I moved because of him..shame shame on me). Met someone AFTER #1, thought he was normal, to find out, he can not be alone. He was e mialing anyone and everyone, even out of the country, to find "love". Only way I found out #2's drama, was he e mailed one of the "out of country women", and sent it to me instead. (LMFAO) DUH!!!!!!!! So, needless to say, so far I have not met a decent man. But it happens in person to people as well, not just on line. Hey, if I meet someone, great. If not, no biggie. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:17:34 AM | | I had a few dates. Exchange numereous emails before meeting. I don't think I would feel comfortable meeting someone after 1 or 2 emails. All of my experiences have been good. Haven't had any hell dates. Well, not yet. lol. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:26:50 AM | I actually had a bit of success from this site in the past !
I put someone on my favorites list and she sent me a note = we dated for a few months. Didn't work out in the end but all the rest have been meet and greets , which doesn't count as a date. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:28:41 AM | | I have been on a date from this site. It turned out wonderful!!!!!! But yes all the gifts and thousand emails right at first are a turn off. One simple email where you have really thought about what you have written will do the trick! None of this hey baby or I am that man you are looking for in your profile. That kills it too! | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:43:25 AM | So far I have met one person,had a few dates and enjoyed every one.When I email a Lady,I try to be open and talk about the things we may have in common and ask her if she is interested to drop me a note.I would encourage anybody dating from any website to email,phone and make sure you see a picture that is current(less than 6 months old).Cam's are awsome for insuring your seeing that person.Not all dates work out,I have been fortunate so far and met a couple wonderful Ladies from other sites. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:47:12 AM | I've meet and gone out with a few women from this site. Most of the dates turned out well. I've been on several dates and friendship outings with one woman from this site. I've also had an on again off again three year relationship with another woman that I met from this site. I'm proud to say that we're currently engaged and everything is going really well this time!
Ed | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:49:51 AM | In the past I usually exchanged emails for a couple of weeks and then exchange phone numbers and talked over the phone for a couple of weeks before actually meeting someone. That way you get a better idea of what the person is like before you actually meet her or him.
Ed | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:04:49 AM | I have now been on here a year.....someone recommended this site...I had been on another site, but I got discouraged with that one, and at the point of joining here...I hadn't been on a site for probably 2 years or so.
I've met, if I recall right, 7 guys from this site in the past year. One I dated for almost 6 months....and wasn't looking or emailing with anyone else on here through that time period. Out of those 7 I only had one bad experience.
But overall....if I man can sound reasonably intelligent in just a few lines with 2 or 3 emails I'm ready to chat on the phone. I don't believe in dragging it out.....get some basic idea about each other, chat once or twice...and meet. And yes, you can get a clue about someone in just a short paragraph or two of email, you can also get an idea from chatting to them on the phone, I haven't had any problem in conversation with guys on the phone. I don't mind getting a "feeler" email from a guy....Hi, liked your profile....noticed you like this or that...etc....because if I like his profile I will reply back. If he doesn't have much on his profile, I will email back and ask about it. If the guy doesn't respond, or seems ho hum, I'll let it drop......I've emailed guys and gotten no response so....shrugs...all you can do is keep trying until someone replies I guess.
Everyone is different though. I'd stick with what works for you....if you've contacted a woman on here and she responds, you exchange an email or two...see if she wants to talk via phone, if she isn't ready, fine, humor her...if she drags it out...then move on. I did talk to a guy on here early on...endless conversations....I really wanted to meet him....and he had every excuse in the book and put it off and finally I had to accept he'd never planned on meeting...why, I don't know. But personally....I don't wait too long...I don't see any point in it...you can't really get a good idea about someone until you sit down with them in person. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:17:26 PM | i've gone out with a few people from here, but there was no chemistry probably on both sides. i have more fun at the parties, and have met a lot of good friends at the parties. i guess just like anything else, you have to be careful and go after what you are looking for. i am sick of meeting men who claim to be social drinkers, and every time you see them they're drinking!
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:31:10 PM | "Who has been on a date?"
MEMEMEME!
" How many emails, phone calls, im's, or whatever before you went on the date?"
Maybe one or two. I'm not all that interested in dating an IM window or email client or building up a bunch of imaginary notions of what the person might be. I would rather go out and chat face to face or take a walk or have a beer or dinner or something. I am also not interested in people who are phobic about actually meeting real people face to face. It's fine if they are and that's their thing, I am just not really interested in dealing with it. If a person can't bring themselves to go someplace in public and have a sandwich and something to drink, then I am not the right person for them. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:34:53 PM | | I've went out on 3 or 4 dates in the past three months off pof, because it is a lot of knowing what you want. Sometimes people don't get thru the first email because I pick up bogas quickly or the ones that sounded like great guys but not for me. Otherwise if there is an exchange of good conversation, getting to know eachother within 3 or 4 emails, depending on the time frame, usually ill ask to take it to the phone if its not brought up to talk and see if interested in meeting. Then, just give the number for them to call. Or, sometimes they leave theirs because they don't want to type. Once the phone call you find out if there is a good feeling about the person, enough to meet. If not, tell them you'd rather not meet goodluck, otherwise if interested set a date. Phone calls are the maximum to 4 before meeting, but of course there are exceptions but the focus should be to meet in real life haha. So I attract people who want to talk on the phone and meet. See if there's any interest further from online. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:34:55 PM | | I have been on here for about a year and I have met 4 guys in person, emailed 15 back and forth, and talked on the phone with 2. Two were okay, the others not. I think it is hopeless. I liked to be approached with respect and casual comments and questions. No sexual remarks. I love lots of interest unless you are a stalker or absolutely not my type or anyone I would not even consider meeting. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 4:04:09 PM | Funny I should come across this Forum today. I met a very nice gentleman from this site just last night. I had a very wonderful time (no sex or even sexual inuendoes). But my question here is, if he doesn't call again, does one just assume he didn't enjoy himself as much as you did, or is he shy and is waiting for the green light from you or what? This one I didn't want to get away. I'll keep my fingers crossed and let you all know......
There was one phone call and less than ten e-mails exchanged before we met.
I enjoy receiveing a response of interest that may or may not include a"virtual gift,"
but one that does state what in my profile attracted him. How did my profile stand out from all the rest. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:31:31 PM | and there are some nice people here, too, don't get me wrong. i met this nice scot guy, and i still talk to him and we always have good laughs. and then there are others that are nice, but there was no connection, which is okay. i would rather just meet people at the POF parties. i recommend going to those and meeting some of the people in person. michigan is full of great forum posters!!
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/28/2008 12:07:29 PM | I've been on a few. After a couple weeks of talking back and forth, I'm comfortable enough to meet someone.
I had good experiences. Thank god. This is my first experience with online dating and I will admit, I was very nervous at first. The guys I met were nice, normal and not at all dangerous :-)
As for the second part of your question, sending gifts for first contact is a bit much. I'll also say that, if someone emails me and they lay it on thick, I check to see how many roses they have sent, if any. I don't trust the guys who have no roses left to send. It's a total generlization, but it indicates that he's probably good at sweet talking the ladies. Ridiculous, right? My gut tells me it's logical though :-) | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/28/2008 2:00:19 PM | I haven't been here that long and I've had two dates so far... One AWESOME and one good.
In one case I initiated, in the second, she initiated. In both cases messages went back and forth for a few days.
In terms of my approach, I simply look for something in the woman's profile that jumps out at me as interesting, curious, funny or some other reason and start talking and asking questions from there... and it can't be anything crass.
For example... I saw one person that had 'Nutella' in her interests. But I prefer a Nutella knockoff called Nifty. I sent her a message merely stating that Nifty was better than Nutella and explained why... and the conversation went on from there a bit and I steered it to us meeting and she should bring the Nutella and I'll bring the Nifty and we can taste them back to back.
Now I actually didn't get to meet this person because she wasn't comfortable with my 'separated' status... but the point is that it progressed further than I expected and I got into her head. She said I was a very sensual man. Definitely one of the more memorable and enjoyable exchanges I've had and I don't even care that I didn't meet her because the conversation was fun!
But it was more or less the same approach with the women I have gotten dates with. | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/28/2008 11:00:07 PM | Currently, I'm not available for meeting anyone. However, when I was on POF last year, prior to being "involved", I kept track.
Joined the first week in June. Sent out about 20 first contact emails, and received about 6, from which there were 5 women that I started talking back and forth with. 3 fizzled out fast, and I set up a meet with one 3 weeks after joining. Nice lady, no chemistry. We had a pleasant dinner at Applebee's, and then no further contact.
After that, I sent out about 20 first contact emails, received 15, and found myself on a half a dozen "favorites" list. From all that, had about 8 "conversations" . Talked to 4 on the phone. Made a first meet for late July with someone, and we had a really good time. I got to know someone fascinating, who lived too far away. Still have some contact, here and there, but we both went on to see people who lived closer.
Late July to early Aug, sent out 38 first contact emails, received 17, was added to 10 favorites lists. 5 or 6 were interesting conversations. Met someone 2nd week in August, and the meet stretched out over the weekend, and ultimately led to 24/7 in November. Dropped off POF.
Summary 3 months, 3 dates, one serious relationship from
78 sent "first contact emails", 38 received first contact emails
18 "conversations" (multiple emails) 8 phone conversations | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:14:26 AM | I’ve been on 44 dates to be exact YES, I kept count. Kept thinking … lucky #3, 4, 6, 7, 10, 12, 20, 24, 36, 44 … nope, still here.
If you are sending me an email, I would prefer receiving something that shows that you have put some thought and effort into contacting me. Perhaps what intrigued you to contact me OR touching on something you read in my profile … God knows you must be able to find SOMETHING in there I love intelligence, so if you can intrigue me in your email, we are off to a great start. (Gifts are not necessary.) Then I check your profile, to see if you are what I’m looking for … it is quite clear in my profile, so as not to waste anyone’s time. Where it goes from there is quite different from one to the next. Sometimes a few emails, then an msn chat or 10 then a few phone calls or 20 (totaling a week or two, usually) and then schedule a meet & greet date that is mutual. Get to know the person a little before you meet them in person. There’s nothing worse than rushing into the meet & greet and then finding out that you’ve just wasted your time because this person is NOTHING like you thought and if you chat long enough, if it’s right, you will inevitably become friends and who knows, you may come across a topic to discuss over coffee.
I once sent an email simply saying, “I hope that last rose is for me.” To which he responded, “It could very possibly be.” Green light on both parties, a little playful and now it’s show time. It was one of my most favourite chats, but I’m still here 
OR
Perhaps you’ve seen someone on another site, you could say something like, I came across your profile on “the other site”. Which one has less nutbars? Ok, you don’t have to use MY suggestions word for word 
Good luck to you! | |
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| How many people have actually went on a date using this site?
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:49:51 AM | I signed up here only 2-3 weeks ago, and have gone on 5 "meet ups". I figured What the hell, lets save time and meet up right away, sometimes after just a few emails(I hate the IM thing). The first guy looked absolutely nothing like his picture, and it seemed obvious(to me anyways) that we had nothing in common, I actually think he didn't even read my profile after speaking to him. The next, I went in cynical, but it turned out to be a great time, we're actually going out again this week.
Had 2 meet ups that was obvious there wasn't going to be any connection, but still had fun and am glad we met, and then I met Mr Creepo that made me hide my profile. He wasn't my "type" at all, but I figured just dating my type obviously hasn't gotten me too far, so why not try something new. We met for a walk, and I thought we were off to a good start, as he looked exactly like his picture. Walked for about an hour, seemed like an all right guy, I told him I would be going out to a local pub that evening, and he said he might show up, and I invited him to say hi if he saw me there....everything seemed all good. Then when I checked my email when I got home he had left a weird message asking what I "really wanted", apparently he thought we were meeting for a random hook up, and then he implied I was a prude and should be more open minded..but using insults. Anyways, a friend of mine was on this site 3 years ago,and when I started telling the story, she finished it for me,same name ,story and attitude,lol and then he just disappears.
Could have been way worse, but made me want to take a break for a bit. My suggestion would be to send a few emails, and get the dealbreaker questions out of the way before meeting. | |
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