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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:11:44 PM | | you go Lofty. that's the attitude i'm working on now too. getting better and happier all the time. thanks for the inspiration!!! may life get better and better and better and you will find that person who's a million times better than the man who was such a jerk to you. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:12:15 PM | The thing I notice is that you need some friends.
When your family was gone you had no one to turn to?
Do yourself a favor... find some girls to hang out with. Put some time into building these relationships for yourself so you won't be so alone and feel the need for a guy to make you happy. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:13:27 PM | | It really hard! the love of my life moved to a diffrent state for work. I'm heart broken and not sure what to do. It hurts really bad and dont want to get out of bed or eat. I still talk to him everyday. He calls me I dont call him. How do you deal with that? I think he loves me but he left me? | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:15:41 PM | or......
" The guys who don't let their insecuries get in the way, when engageing in an adult conversation !!!" | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:24:17 PM | | its over sweetie , try to learn that you can;t change people and life will be easyer. . to be honest it was over before you knew it , your tunnel visoin should be reviewed | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:30:29 PM | Hi Vinny,
thank you, and as I told cheeky, last night was the final straw. i know there are men out there, that think i am beautful and thin, which I am, there will be no more of tearing me apart and making me feel like I am a loser when in fact it is him. I am talking to somone now who thinks I am adorable etc, it's hard to accept but I have to.
I deserve respect and a wonderful man to be in my life someday, what this has taught me.. the first sign of trying to belittle me, I'm outta there!!!!!!!!!!!!
And she is right he is insecure with himself and taking it out on me. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:20:17 PM | | He has treated you badly. He didn't consider your feelings and totally disrespected you in front of, and with the cooperation of, his friends. You deserve someone so much better. I can't believe you'd want this awful man back. You have shed an awful lot of tears with him and now without him. Was he worth any of them? I bet you have blinkers on and are ignoring all the kind and decent men who would be delighted to spend time with you. Once you realise that a loving man is not abusive, then things will improve for you. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:50:51 PM |
been there. don't be hard on yourself, but do look at the whole picture. this man didn't treat you well. he was unkind to you. don't reach out to him, don't call him, don't have anything to do with him, and if he wants to come back, please say NO.
cry all you need to cry. get it out. it's a great thing that women have is this fabulous ability to cry buckets of tears, oceans of tears. it will help release the pain. see your doctor, maybe you need some medication to help you with the anxiety and depression.
you're not alone. i know that a lot of the people reading your message on this site are truly feeling for you. i'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. be comforted that others care about you.
I know deep in my heart he was a worthless piece of crap and that I should have broken up with him a long time ago. He was abusive towards me too, and I was too scared of being alone to leave him. I know how other woman feel like when they are in an abusive relationship.
In 2006 we went to this Project X thing at Canada Olympic Park in the city I live in for halloween. I don't even know why I said yes to going because those haunted house things scare the crap out of me and I can't deal with horror movies. Anyways, we went and I freaked out and started crying when someone dressed up as I believe Jack the Ripper or something came at me with a chain saw. My courage went out the window right there, and I refused to go any further. My ex had bought the tickets and really wanted to see it so he got a little mad.
I finally worked up the courage to keep going through the Zombie forest to get to the actual activities, my finger nails actually dug into his skin. We got to the activities and this guy that was supposed to be dead could feel the bad vibes or something coming off me so he immediately came towards me and started trying to psych me out. He asked me if I was scared of clowns and when my ex said yes he smirked and told my ex which haunted house had the clowns in it. I refused to go into any of them, and he flipped. He started yelling at me, calling me a dumb c*** and that he was leaving me up there. I bawled my eyes out, and he eventually dropped to his knees and started crying, hugging my legs and telling me he was sorry.
That wasn't the first and only time he freaked out at me and did stupid things he shouldn't have.
Anyways, getting back on topic, I did go to see my doctor about my depression and he figured I was ok that I didn't need medication. For a few months I would see him every week and then he said I was OK to be on my own, and I knew where to find him if I needed him.
Thank you guys so much for caring about me!!!! It's still been tough, but I'm finally moving on, and I won't be getting back together with him EVER!!!! I need a man who will treat me with respect and everything that comes with it!!! | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:56:06 PM | He has treated you badly. He didn't consider your feelings and totally disrespected you in front of, and with the cooperation of, his friends. You deserve someone so much better. I can't believe you'd want this awful man back. You have shed an awful lot of tears with him and now without him. Was he worth any of them? I bet you have blinkers on and are ignoring all the kind and decent men who would be delighted to spend time with you. Once you realise that a loving man is not abusive, then things will improve for you.
He has since apoligized for what he did that night we broke up. He "felt" bad for not being there for me after he broke up, but I knew I had no right in stopping him from leaving. His now girlfriend came over to the house one night after work with him cause he was going over to her house, and I felt like it was a slap in the face. Also, when I moved back home he came over and brought the last of my stuff over. His girlfriend was with him, and it made the whole thing 100x worse. I did not need to see her, and I thought it was very disrespectful of both of them to have her come to the house. She was "worried" he was going to cheat on her with me.
No, he's not worth any of my tears, but they still come anyways. I still hurt from the break up, and I still miss him. I just want to get over him and make the pain go away. I'm not ignoring decent guys, i just haven't found one yet, and I don't think I'm emotionally ready for a relationship as of yet! I would like to get to know someone and see where it goes from there. And no, I don't deserve an abusive relationship. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/6/2008 8:26:17 PM | Sux dont it? I'm sorry yer goin thru that....
sigh.....
Only thing you can do is keep telling yourself that you deserve MORE. (i know, most people tell you to say you deserve "better"... but what if the guy wasnt a total jerk? ... just wasnt willing to give the "other 50%")
I recently went thru this too. The guy i was dating was great, we got along good, both had the same sense of humor... hardly ever fought... however, he didnt want to be committed to me... so the "relationship" dissolved. And, in the course of him not wanting to be committed to me, he broke my heart more than several times... apparently i wanted what he couldnt provide... him wanting to be with ONLY me.
However, I'm still trying to salvage the friendship that we once had before i fell in love, but it's hard knowing that he's looking for other women and that I wasnt "good enough" for him - even though we were perfect when we were together.... so, in being friends that hurts too, and ultimately I'm sure that will be the reason the friendship fades also.
Only keep people in your life that charge your battery... not drain it.
Even if that means letting them fade into the "past".
I hope your heart heals soon :)
 | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:00:21 AM | Lofty, girl you are in my thoughts !!! Just keep these 2 quotes in your head.
"Dont put a wishbone where a backbone is supposed to be" and
"Dont make someone a priority in your life, who only makes you an option in theirs"
These 2 quotes have helped me soooo much. I just recently came out of an abusive relationship much like the one you were in. There was physical violence, mental and verbal abuse too. Only I wound up having a child with my ex.
We would break up and get back together usually every month. Then it got to be where it was every week. He also had a awful drug problem soooo there was NO trust there. The last time we broke up he started seeing an old friend of mine, not even like a day or 2 after we split. He took my child over there to spend the night at the girls house and I had to watch her drop my child and my babys father off that day.
When she dropped him, less than a week later (after dealing with his drug problem already) he came running back. Only to dissapear on me again when payday rolled around.
Just be thankful you didnt create a child with him and you HAVE the option of NO CONTACT. I sure do wish I had that option, but with a child together it is NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE.
Dont let him continue to hurt you girl, he keeps you hanging on. He may go for days or weeks without calling or coming around but he knows all he has to do to keep you there waiting on him is to call with a "hopeful" conversation. He knows he can come back anytime.
He may have said he loved you. But he didnt love you back the way you loved him. Or he wouldnt have said and did the things to you that he did. Also even if you guys had broken up he wouldnt have allowed his friends to belittle you and poke fun at you if he truly LOVED you.
Your best bet is NO CONTACT with that loser. Invest in CALLER ID and when you see it is him...dont answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As much as you want to...DONT!!!! Dont see him, DONT SLEEP WITH HIM !!!!!!!!!! Dont talk to him. Eventually things will start to heal.
Throw yourself into your own life and get involved with friends (girls or guys...just get out there and meet new people) As long as you dont talk to him the healing process will take place naturally. Who knows you may meet someone that you are even more crazy about than him. But dont rush things....Good things TAKE TIME~~.
If you need someone to talk to message me..I could really use a friend that is going through a bit of the same thing.
Just be thankful that now he is the other girls problem. FORGET THE GOOD TIMES. Obviously HE HAS MOVED ON. now its your turn.
He WILL COME BACK especially after he sees you moving on with your life and being happy. Guys like that ARE TOXIC baby girl TOXIC   they find a way of seeping back into our lives every time. THIS TIME YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND
DO NOT LET HIM GET THE BEST OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are so many more yummy fishies in the sea GO catch ya one!
Look forward to seeing your progression and PLEASE keep us updated on it!!!!!
Your friend,
Keisha | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:28:58 PM | Thank you Keisha!!!!! That makes me feel 10000000x better! I haven't talked to him in probably 3 weeks, and I feel better already! Sure I still cry every once in awhile missing the great times we had together, but I know I'm better off without him, and eventually I will move on.
I've already got caller ID on my phone and I know his new cell phone number. I'll probably answer it, but to ask what he wants and then to leave me the hell alone. I've already left a message on his phone telling him not to call me ever again. As much as I'll always love him, and care for him, I can't be with him again. I'm finally seeing what an ***hole he was to me, and I'll never ever forgive him for what he put me through for 2 years. He's not going to get the best of me, he won't keep me on the back burner for when his relationship goes to hell in a hand basket.
My friend has been talking to him, trying to get an understanding of why he did this to me. I've told her not to, but she's worried I'm going to go back to him if he calls me up to tell me he broke up with his girlfriend. She just wants to know why he did all those terrible things to me. I have no intention of trying to get a hold of him, but if she wants to she can. I can't stop her from talking to him.
I've been getting along great with a girl from work. We go out nearly once a week to go do stuff. We're planning on going to see Kung Fu Panda on Thursday, and I'm planning on getting a digital camera then too, which I'm excited for. She came over to my house after work and we played Monopoly which was awesome just hanging out with her.
Keisha, feel free to message me and maybe we can talk on msn or something. It'd be nice to talk to someone who is also going through the same thing as me.
All in all, things are going great, and will continue to do so if he doesn't try to get ahold of me. As much as I love talking to him, I know I can't.
Also, would it be a good idea to give him back the ring he gave me on our 1 year anniversary? Or any of the other stuff he gave me throughout our relationship? Or should I keep them? | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:35:39 PM | | Time has a way of mending broken hearts and I do understand your pain. It will get better. Hugs! | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:31:47 AM | Please don't call him to tell him not to call you! And please don't contact him at all! Don't give him back the ring, no contact! I suggest make the ring a symbol to you that you have finally given up all hope. You don't care at all. Be as bad as he was. SELL the ring! If it's not worth any money, just throw it in the trash. That's what he is to you: TRASH!
I went through a similar thing. Went over all the phases you are going through. He still contacts me! I have learned not to answer. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:36:15 PM | I have an update on mine, I have tried to move on, etc etc. low and behold the phone rings at 1 am last night. it was a private number, which sometimes my sister calls and it is private cuzz her number is listed, aand mind you, my neice should go into labor any day.
Well, it wasn't my sister, it was the X!! he was bawling frantically, stating he was going to kill himself, I never heard him like that before.. Well I found out today he didn't, but why did I listen, why did he call me and insist on telling me that? I have been a mess all day!! I'm worried but at the same time could care less for what he has done to me!!! | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:49:07 PM | | me and my ex were together 2 months and i loved him so much, but he broke my heart twice and now im pregnant, he didnt believe me at first but i took a test and proved to him and now he says its not his, hes dating a married woman now i guess, and ignoring me and im carrying his baby, just couldnt deal with it at first but im getting better my new man wants to help take care of the baby like its his own ,so i was wandering if i should let him be in the babys life instead of the real father, its so sad | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:53:36 PM | Hi: you are a nice looking lady. Don't let the man get to you the way he does. It sounds to me you were in a "go no where" relationship and its time to move on.
Make yourself unavailable to this guy and get on with your life. Its easier said than done, but it needs to be done.
What has always helped me is to make a list of the good points, bad points. If the bad outweigh the good then you are better off without him. Just tell yourself "I'm better than that". Good luck to you. Richard | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:36:31 PM | Oh the stories I could tell. Just know your not the only one that deals with that same general problem. I try to be as impartial to my feelings for him as I can. Hes had three girls since me, I had one guy since him. We don't really talk, but we apparently have mutual friends, so I hear things through the grape vine that worries me sometimes. Your feelings for this guy may never fully go away, but you can still move on, and get feelings for other guys.
I handle mine with a deep appriciation for the things he did give, and the things I learned from him. Once I accepted the fact that we just werent going to be, it was easier to accept life with out him. It took nearly two months, and it was a two to three year long love. Sometimes the best things in life, hurt the worst. That is the sad truth that I learned because of him. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:15:35 AM | More updates:::
I received an e-mail from the low life this morning, bahahahha, now he states he did not threaten to kill himself and now he is stalking me on this site??
Loser.. here are some words for you... GET A LIFE, MOVE ON, I WANT NOTHING DO TO WITH YOUR ABUSIVE SELF.
I guess it's time to get the law involved with the voice mails I received lately, threatending me, and the e-mals I have received and to file a PFA which in fact he would lose his guns, tsk, tsk. better yet, he accuses me of calling the Humane Society on his dog, can you say delusional and needs serious help?? Supposedly, he has all this stuff on me to have me arrested, well no cops have came to get me yet, and he has fabricated ims from AOL, better yet.. he tells all my personal buisness on AOL in a chat room.. thsi man is 39!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sick of this, I have moved on, the man is a habitaul liar with no life and still calls me fat as he did the other night.
I see an Endocrinologist every Momnday, I get 4 experimental shots to help me gain weight, I am 5'5 85 lbs, but he calls me obese etc. My doc yesterday said the man needs serious help, I said well he said he was going to kill himself, what does that say??
I do thank all of you for your support and the kind words and how in fact you told me to stay away from him, believe me I am.
I have been dating someone for about 2 months now, just as friends, but he makes me very happy and we plan to spend much more time together.
The man is very jealous of me, I am in a very prominent position at my job, just moved to a brand new large home, he's mad he could not get a piece of it as he is receiving shut off notices.
Keep stalking Stalker, and get a life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:50:51 AM | thanks guys it helps to talk to people with the same situation, yea i had to go get counseling because of him hurting me and now since im pregnant he doesnt want nothing to do with me at all, but he was young only 21 and im 31 , but i met someone who is willing to help me with the baby even though its not his so i hope this guy is better, just afraid of getting hurt again, but thanks again guys for the chat i can use friends  | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:55:09 AM | | sorry mom but still dont believe you are pregnant. the "test" you supposedly took was open before you arrived and was scotch taped shut. and trying to pass off an ultrasound of a six month fetus as a 14week one just makes you stupid. it is funny that he told you the last time he dumped your stalker ass that he would only take you back if you were pregnant. you even tried to show "letters from your dr." that were not on letterhead and had improper punctuation and spelling. PEOPLE!!! SHE CLAIMED TO KNOW THE SEX OF THE BABY WHEN SHE WAS LESS THAN 3 MONTHS!! AND WAS PASSING AROUND AN ULTRASOUND PHOTO OF A FULLY FORMED BABY AT 3 MONTHS!! we all know there are people here who cannot be trusted and unfortunatly it took that poor guy a few months to figure it out. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:53:01 PM | thats ok i will bring the baby to the club when its born and he aint never going to see it anyway, i have someone helping me who just got out of prison so i would like to see him try to take the baby, im not proving nothing anymore until it comes out and he lost his baby to someone else haha   | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:01:17 PM | believe me mine is much hotter anyway its going to be my baby and my new mans im going to have a dna test done and that will wrap it up im going to laugh on the floor when it proves to be his baby, my new man is signing the birth certificate so it wont be my exs baby legally so he lost his child now people let me tell you when a man steps up and takes care of a baby thats not his thats a real man not a boy!!!!!  | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:26:35 PM | Getting over him and the hurt is a process that takes time, use that time to your advantage. Is it him you miss or having a relationship? Frankly, he seems like an ***hole and he treated you badly and noone deserves that. Just think how lucky you are not to be treated like that. It's lonely sure, but isn't it a relief that the drama is gone? Keep yourself busy and when you think of him, think of how it's his loss and nw you can invest your time in betting things. You'll never find the right man when you're holding on to the wrong one. And it's just fine to be alone too. The man in a relationship should compliment us, not complete us.
As individuals, we can't control another's actions but we can control our own and remove ourselves from situations we can't control. This is your life honey, so grab the wheel and take control. Good luck, I wish you the best. | |
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| Still not over my ex!!!
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:38:48 PM | So things are going 10000000x better now :-) I haven't talked to my ex in just over 4 weeks I think, and I can finally say that I feel amazing for the first time in awhile!!! A few days ago was the 2 year anniversary that my grandpa died, and my friend asked him on an e-mail to call me just to make sure I'm ok, but of course he never did, and I won't lose sleep over it. I'm kinda glad he never called because then the old feelings would come back and I'd be back where I started from. I feel very greatful that he never called.
My family bought a new baby kitten so I'm trying to focus on her, getting her used to the house and all that stuff!! She's adorable! I always wanted a cat when I was with my ex, but he always told me no, so now I finally have my little kitten!!!!! | |
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