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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:05:33 AM | Got one myself. 35, divorced, no kids (does want in future) and has her life in order personally, professionally, and financially. 
For once, I'm the "bad influence".  | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:52:33 AM | There are benefits if people would live with high morals and values in their life.
The benefits would be sexual benefits if we lived our life how God intended us to live it by not living in a sexual relationship unless we are married.
Also, in marriage there are benefits of having children.
But, now there are so many women who get pregnant and could care less about the child growing up in a stable married family.
It is like in Europe where the morals and values have fallen there and now the amount of people getting married is very low compared to those who just live together.
Why ?
Because they do not see what the benefits are.
It has caused many social problems and relationship problems.
It's a sign of this fallen sinful world. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:34:33 AM |
If you are in Washington, you better move. This state is a single mother's haven.
Are you still considered a single mother once the kids are grown up? I think it's ridiculous the way that term is used as an epithet. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:30:51 AM | | Do you magically stop being a mother after your children hit the age of 18? So no, you are still considered a single mother. The difference is you can say your kids do not live at home. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:34:30 PM | I am proudly a single mom. Marriage is only as good as the person you share your life with, and what you bring to a relationship. It isn't the institution of marriage that's at fault.
Why not assume our full responsibility of being held accountable for at least 50% of the relationship? I sense a lot of unreal expectations, fear and dissapointment.
We go through all kind of life experiences. We can decide to blame the other part, dwell on the issues that we went through, or dust off our fanny and keep on trying to achieve a healthy relationship with another person.
So he or she wasn't Mr. or Ms. Right the first time around...Who cares? Just another learning experience.Who said life was easy? I'm just going to keep on trying to find another person that can resonate with my particular note. (Guess you can tell that I am a musician.)
Peace! | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:09:41 PM | | That contract sounds like a Handfasting, an agreement to stay together for a year and a day to see how it works, then decide weather or not to tie the knot. It is a very old pre-Christian, custom. It was common over much of Europe. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/1/2008 3:47:09 PM |
why YOU do not want to marry
Asking the question this way presupposes that one SHOULD get married, and by not wanting to get married a person is somehow abnormal and needs to justify their decision to not marry. Just because the church, our families, our teachers and the Republican Party tell us we should live our lives a certain way (find one partner, get married, buy a house together, have kids, be together until one of you dies no matter what), who are they to say what's right for any given person, or even for society as a whole? Marriage is just not for everyone, and I don't think there's any need to have to justify why someone chooses an alternative lifestyle. For some people, casual dating, a series of short- or long-term monogamous relationships, swinging, polyamorous relationships, or some other lifestyle may be what's best for them -- no explanation needed.
I would ask the question: Why DO you want to get married? For some, I think it's a legitimate choice. For others, however, I think their reasons have more to do with bowing to societal or familial pressures, conforming to traditions, doing what others expect, rather than thinking for themselves and making up their own minds about what's right for them. Maybe that's why so many marriages end in divorce; it wasn't right for them to begin with, they just did what was expected of them. Don't even get me started on the fixation young women have on their fairytale wedding DAY, rather than putting all that time, energy and money into planning their LIFE together. Again, it's how they've been told to think.
If you really want to get married and you've convinced yourself that it's the right choice for you, there's nothing wrong with that. However, you need to find someone who feels the same way. Dwelling on the issue of why not everyone feels the same way you do isn't really going to help that process. You're only going to become jaded and cynical -- huge turn-offs for anyone looking for a potential life-partner. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:25:31 PM | I won't go into a lot of the details that happened at the gathering I was at for the 4th, but let's just say the male portion of the couple hosting the party put some shorts on and the female wanted him to wear some different ones, and told him to go put them on. First of all I would have said I will wear what I want to wear and would have stood up to her, but no woman never has any business trying to control her husband and vice versa.
****************************CONTROLLING********************************
is so annoying and for one to think they can control the other married or not just pisses me off, and is one of the biggest reasons I will remain single and NEVER get married again. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:38:08 PM | Serebral:
I would ask the question: Why DO you want to get married? For some, I think it's a legitimate choice. For others, however, I think their reasons have more to do with bowing to societal or familial pressures, conforming to traditions, doing what others expect, rather than thinking for themselves and making up their own minds about what's right for them. Maybe that's why so many marriages end in divorce; it wasn't right for them to begin with, they just did what was expected of them. Don't even get me started on the fixation young women have on their fairytale wedding DAY, rather than putting all that time, energy and money into planning their LIFE together. Again, it's how they've been told to think. Snazzy post!!! Awesome :) | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:14:51 AM | | Bowler, I had to giggle at this one because when I was a younger woman, I might have done the same thing, albeit privately. I'm old enough now that if my partner wanted to wear some shorts that made him look like a dork, I'd just have to live with it and keep my mouth shut. There are many more important issues to take a stand on. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:41:32 AM | Curls, since you used to be this way, let me ask you, why is it that women or men think they can control the other?
As soon as I meet a lady, if they seem at all controlling, I hit the road. No interest in that what so ever. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:47:48 AM | | The only think I can come up with is for some younger people, it's all about image. You don't want to be seen with someone unattractive, because they are afraid of what their peers think. Think back. There were people (specially in their 20's) who always were worried about what other people think versus what they thought. They hadn't learned to think for themselves yet. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:39:25 AM | Tanz that is an excellent point. And that just means they truly do not love the person they are with, because if they are worried about what others think instead of it being their perception only they truly do not love that person.
I cannot say I have been there done that, but I can say I haven't asked a lady out because I worried about what my friends would think. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:29:47 AM | | Another item regarding the gathering on the 4th, is this lady is "HOT", and if she were single and I had the opportunity to get to know her, I would say "no thank you". It just shows that looks are not everything | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:00:06 AM | I get that Serebral, but why do people think they can to start with?
It is a huge turn off for me for anybody to tell me what to do. Ask me anytime, but don't ever tell me what to do. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:08:52 PM | | Bowler, often people are controlling without realizing it. I don't think all of them make a conscious effort to control; they just believe they know what's best and expect you to fall in line. There are different levels and types of control, some you can live with (if you choose) and some you can't. Also, as a woman who has a strong, capable personality, I tend to attract guys who lack focus and direction. The trick is to balance out their need for structure with my need to have a guy who appears capable. What can happen is a person wants someone to take control until it becomes suffocating and they rebel. Passive-aggressive people are a great example of this. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:11:29 PM | | I forgot to add, I agree with Tanz that is some cases, it's all about image. That's why so many people have physical/job/educational requirements on their profiles. They claim it's about what attracts them, but a lot of it is image. | |
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| Why men (and some women) do not want to marry?
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:26:49 PM | Thanks for the agreements. (on a side note: I think this is the first time more then 1 person has ever agreed with me on anything in here.  ) I agree that they don't really love the person their with if they are worried about image, Bowler. Although I just also thought of another reason...and that's the "I can fix him" attitude many women have. There are some women who feel that they love their man, but he has SO much potential that is being unused, so they try and change him..like it or not. But back to the original portion....The 'image' thing is one reason I feel that anyone under 25 should NOT be married, or even in a committed relationship with anyone. You don't really know what you want..you just think you do. | |
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