| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 6:46:59 AM | j4m4n has a good point also...
What kind of guy do you think won't be wanting a sexual relationship with the woman he's wanting to spend the rest of his life with???
What do you want to marry?
A Gay guy or a real Man???
The Gay might want to get married to a woman to keep his family happy and make them think he is straight..
A real Man will want and need SEX..
Sex is a natural thing and very desirable to have often in a relationship..
My ex-wife gave me sex on the first date...
I married her .!! | |
|
| It may be your taste in men. Go for character over flash.
Posted: 6/4/2008 6:49:35 AM | Im siding with IronHorseTamer, becoming friends 1st is a very sensible move.
Besides think of it this way, a man who dates you a few times and then manages to get you in the sack isn't exactly investing a whole lot in you, if you give him what he wants so soon. The kind of guys that do that certaintly dont care much for what kind of person you are especially if like you mentioned before, they become annoyed after chasing you for sex and not seeing the results. That my dear is complete superficiality 101.
If you instead have some friends in your life that are just guys, that get to know you in a sisterly way, platonic for a few months... hanging with other girls you know and getting with a social circle that encourages sincerity and something more than a senseless date that ends up in the back of a car somewhere... then there will be more of a guarantee of quality men stepping forward. There is just so many more opportunities to get to know a guy deeply when its just a friendship and sex isnt an issue. It allows for more bonding moments, like the occassional night out on the town where you might get so drunk your best buddies chivalry shows that he ends up taking you home without taking advantage of you.
And think of it this way... if he is your friend already, there is no way he will take dating you as lightly as a stranger, it will be in his best interests to be more of a gentleman. And at least you have allowed a friendship to blossom 1st and foremost. Men tend to be less indifferent to women they have come to respect and enjoy their company. They will see the value in maintaining that sincerity, and besides if he is a true friend he will tell you if he really wants you romantically or whether he just prefers you as a friend. All in all you cant complain about men behaving badly with you, if your not yourself investing in knowing the guy, and only jumping from bed to bed, aimlessly and haplessly hoping that a good guy will waltz on by and sweep you off your feet... take some responsibility and control back and make friends not bonkbuddies.
Cheers and good luck. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:00:15 AM |
Looks are no good if you don't have the confidence in yourself to go with them, because it's a confident character that people really find holds long lasting attraction (although the looks generally have to be there to get their interest in the first place).
poochie, you are right on with your comments, there are men who find confident very attractive and like to be around more so with that person,then there are guys who lack confident too and will seek likewise partners. Relations are brief at best and move on to the next one, kinda like a boat without a rudder direction.
It sounds to me like you are possibly too keen to seek these guys' approval rather than looking for a guy who will satisfy YOUR requirements, therefore they see it as a lack of confidence on your part, therefore they see you as needy.
Yes, we can't make you happy and confident, you got to have that first in yourself and then and only then your needs and wants will come full circle.
Good luck. | |
|
| It may be your taste in men. Go for character over flash.
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:01:32 AM | Ok here is my opinion .It can take years to know someone..Even in arranged marriages they waited to have sex for years sometimes giving time to know each other ,,I have talked to many from other countries ..Think ,,,at this rate by the time u find mr right u will have how many notches under ur belt.. NO NO NO stop sex has its place its fun but its not a activity putt putt golf is..I know the world has changed .That doesnt mean its for the better. Waiting on sex isnt a guarentee either. Focusing on the fact that he waited a year doesnt make him mr right . Balance ur focus on the whole person dont make excuses and do u know what u want ,well find out and stick to that ,,no changing it to suit ur lust or wishes or excuses for why he isnt who u wish he was but someday he will be. Find a man when u have time who is already what ur looking for here and now. Save ur self thats what this is abou. Inside u is u A REAL LIVE VERY IMPORTANT PERSON and self respect can grow or deminish. Its important to love u and like u and even admire urself for being true to ur beliefs. Sex does take away self respect when its been manipulated ..You feel guilty and stupid , This isnt healthy.. Be who you can look up to,be urown hero and remember only you can take care of your ego and self esteem is important so be true to you first let no one rush u and no matter how much u like them when the pressure starts get up and leave dont even talk about it . Talking is there way of confusing u manipulating u or trying to get even and hurt u for rejecting them, so why stay for that. You have 2 legs use them.Its not up for discussion u know who he is by what he says and does ..next You will soon see joy and fun back into ur life peace out   | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:10:26 AM | | Try removing the picture from your profile. This way guys will have to get to know you without your appearance clouding their judgment. Also, it might be a good idea to try and find a guy who you would normally not be interested in at first. Look for the proverbial "diamond in the rough". ~Scott | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:35:30 AM | I find you attract who you are..... If you present as a sex pot, you will attract the ones who are, or want a sex pot...because that's who they are.
Just an observance not a put down. First impressions do count. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:05:40 AM | | Very attractive and young, you become the intensedesire for a conquest by guys who in the long run don't think they are man enough to keep a girl evey man wants, if you are looking for something that lasts, maybe you should consider making the chase last much longer so to give it time for something real to grow, or you're probably just going to be the one to call for a good time | |
|
| |
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:22:39 AM | This has nothing to do with the age thing. I am finding that even the OLDER men are playing games on here. I mean if you say long term that should mean just that not friends with benefits. That is what the majority I have met on here want. They talk to you but never have time to meet or when you do they want to go the sexual route. NO thank you.
Hang in there I am sure there are a few GOOD men left and hopefully we will find them. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:26:28 AM | | One other thought on this, if you're going out with the "hot" young guys with the nicest car and so forth and so forth, you're probably making yourself into the easy hot chick,,, go find a halfway nice looking geek and you'll keep one for a change, that is if you play him straight and leave the losers alone | |
|
| |
| |
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:41:12 AM |
This has nothing to do with the age thing.
You're right, and wrong. I does have to do with age. The younger men it just built in...nature.
For the older ones, its experience. Experience of giving your heart to someone, marrying them, having kids, etc, and then that woman ripping your heart out, divorcing you, taking just about everything you own. Maybe even a second time.
And then they vow to never let that happen again and really have no use for a woman other than sex. | |
|
| |
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:46:48 AM | Not to be offensive, but what is the common denominator in your experiences with different men? YOU!
When someone happens to me once or twice, I can shrug it off as to being the other person's "fault" or quirks, fate, or whatever. But when I keep having the same experience with over and over, I need to examine myself. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:02:17 AM | | Well thanks for all the advice. Yeah im starting to think about things in my head now, about my past and what happened with these guys. Yeah when ever I ask other women about guys, they say it doesn't matter the age. And no i dont go out with the "hot" guys with the nice cars and such haha. To be honest, none of my ex's were really what other girls considered to be "hot". I dated them because in the beginning i thought they were different from most, becuase thats what they portrayed themselfs like. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:16:49 AM | Hi Barbie-girl,
Forget finding an older guy unless you are ready to grow up quickly. Age doesn't make men (or women) more reliable if that quality wasn't in them when they were young. Most older guys who prefer to date younger women have a long history of women they've dated.
What you need is a great guy who is your own age. Enjoy your youth with him. You are only young once.
Let your warm personality be the first thing a guy notices about you and good things will happen.
Good luck,
JB | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:20:24 AM |
Unlike the other blokes here that are just blowing wind out of thier ar$e just so they can get a shag out of you, i'm going to tell you how it is. If you create sexual tension early in the relationship but dont go through, I'm suprised any guy would hang around for 2 months with out any action. Yup, i'm with j4ym4n on this one. Seriously, has anyone read her profile before posting advice to BarbieS? Her likes: herself; Her dislikes: others;Her confusion: leading on, using, sex
Personally, OP, I get the feeling you really enjoy leading a guy and get turned off when they start leading you. I'm not being offensive or accusatory at all here, just maybe you should be more honest about wanting some control while 'dating'
I've actually never seen a "up 2 the guy" posted in 'first date' section...I smell denial, hypocrisy and a whole tonne of 'confliction' | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:29:21 AM | men r scum!!!!
LOL
Unfortunately we are, but..........as we get older we do mature emotionally(some do, some do more slowly, some not at all), spiritually, mentally.
I don't look at women the same as I did when I was 20, 30 or even 40.
You will just have to be very patient, there are guys your age that "get it", but they the minority in my experience.
You are beautiful. You are going to be beautiful no matter what you do, or how you dress so why not concentrate on developing your "self" along the lines of who you really are.
I find a woman in jeans and a Tshirt doing chores in the horse barn (no makeup either) to be extremely attractive because she's doing what she is passionate about.
Find someone who shares your passions, who will like you when you are not pretty.
Call him when it's 30 below and your car wont start then you will find out if he cares about you.
Don't fall into the "pretty girl" trap, it won't get you the guy you want.
I have some friends that are very pretty and I have seen them be the "pretty girl", nothing good can come of that.
PS I love Saskatchewan, I visit once or twice a year(usually around Whitewood) and the people I have met are just wonderful. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:49:29 AM | | i have an opinion...been there done that.ive for the most part always been that guy that loves to treat women like their on a pedastal.but the truth is after a while women begin to no longer respect the guys who are soft sensitive and open...at least with women they like..im one...ive always done well but never found the "one"...the reason...women arent attracted to "wussies".. in retrospect ive learned about this all and can can see some of why,but most women cant seperate out the differences...dont get me wrong im a big tough guy and no literal "wussy".but i treat my women considerately..and eventually they slowly maybe without realizing lose the interest and attraction in the way the original chemistry was working...so little subtle differences gradually or may abruptly appear.behavior differences.things spoken and it throws the whole thing into confusion...im stable,attractive,funny,emotionally available,supportive,and know how to treat a lady.but i hit this wall alot too.because i DONT want to be a playa,but when you start investing in one girl and opening up..thats when the real judgement begins.and its a tight spot for guys.we try to be all the things a women says she wants,but in the end they hate you for it and show it in small ways that begin to put our guards up and the whole trust thing is out the window and the feelings change.in the things you say, the way you say it, change from the original chemistry...i dont want ot be "hard" all the time.i dont like being a tough guy..i dont back down from anything,but when a women see's your softer side many mistake that for weakness and their inner brains send them signals them wussy!!.and they become different in how they relate...and then of coarse so does the guy...they dont want to spend the effort on someone who cant appreciate the sensitive prince charming side all women say they want,but most cant see that their emotional reactions often crush the originating love feeling in men that you want from us..its confusing and so falls apart both ways...thus the old..why do women like jerks query??? there are several theories on all this and i apply them.the more removed and distant i am the more women are interested...and when they get you they no longer want you....part i chalk up to natures programming for both sexes.but also god gave us intellect along with the emotion......its about finding something deeper and not being ruled by emotion alone...women like playas cause their aloof and hard to catch..a challenge.and when we give in the interest fades,attitudes follow suite,and therefore so the whole thing snowballs. when two people aware of all the dynamics manage to, just like any endeavor see things for what they are and make it work for them.then its no longer confused its a mutual goal and they can just be themselves without fear of judgement...heres a tip to women..im a big mean bodybuilding rocker but i dont want to be all ego all the time...women want security and so do we.just diff sorts..when a guys starts being open...check yourself and see if its you or him...if he is a real wussy or loser move on...but if hes just open sensitive,and enlightened...you might pay a little closer attention to that one and make sure your on your A game or it will fall apart in a flash...my never to be humble opinion.....peace | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 10:22:55 AM | NO NO NO DO NOT BE FRIENDS FIRST
Think about the Ask a Girl Section where hundreds of idiots ask "hay she sed she wants 2 be frends what that mean?????!!!!!" and then dozens of very tired people say "she is not interested." If you try to start as friends, you'll only see him as friends and eventually he'll be about as bangable to you as Winnie the Pooh OR you'll just be lying to yourself and drawing it out for some pretense of "oh we're friends first" when you know why you're really there. You know what you want and why you're talking to this person, so just be honest with both yourself and him and start with the intent of finding a guy to have a relationship. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 2:48:33 PM |
To be honest, none of my ex's were really what other girls considered to be "hot". I dated them because in the beginning i thought they were different from most, becuase thats what they portrayed themselfs like.
did you just say the guys you dated are different? So you dont date normal guys who go to school, have good prospetive?
Judging from your appearance and account name, i really dont believe you would date normal guys.
So dont waste our time if you going for the jerks(it doesn't matter if they are hot or not. jerks are jerks)
ps: guys who can have any woman they want wont waste time on you, if you play game, and apparently you play games with them, so they ditch you a@@ and go for the one who give it up easy. Tough love, you can't expect to find a hot guy who will commit to you if you dont give it up early, they jsut have too many options. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 4:04:48 PM | | Honey, as a mature woman, my feelings are your pictures make you appear to be, for lack of a better phrase, a sex kitten. And that's the kind of men you are going to attract...the ones only after sex. I don't mean this as an insult. Not at all. But what you put out there about yourself and in this forum it's a picture, is what you are going to get back. Tone down the make up and the pouty lips and perhaps men will look at the woman inside, not the outside package. Just my old fashioned opinion. | |
|
| this happens with EVERY guy i meet? WHY?! or is it just me?
Posted: 6/4/2008 4:13:54 PM | | Really good looking women sometimes need to work a little harder to get guys to take them seriously, sadly. It's a cross I've seen a lot of very pretty women bear. If I were in your shoes, I would not date for a while but immerse myself in some hobbies and interests that you really enjoy doing alone. Learn to enjoy your own company. That way if a guy starts to show red flags, it will be easy to walk away. Eventually, you will meet guys who have the same interests and start relationships that are based on friendship, rather than instant attraction. Do your best to take yourself seriously and make sure the guys do too before you become physical with them! Good luck. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
