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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?      Home login  
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 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 51
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I had a man once for a first date( from another site)...suggest I drive an hour to his house..which was already a bad idea..then he says...I want you to wear such and such for what we are doing during the day, then wear such and such ( I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was sexy, revealing stuff) for the evening..then be sure to bring such and such for overnight.

I don't think so. The control issue alone is a red flag, let alone the set up for what he thought was going to happen obviously..after I had been clear about my views on sex right away..when I told him this was all unacceptable, sorry..good luck.

He shot back...that I had intimacy issues?..rofl...then deleted his profile..can't believe I upset him that much...lol...

My personal opinion as many of the women is: it sounds like a fetish, or at the least a controller...and that's not what I am looking for.

I always dress nicely and attractively...either he likes it or he doesn't.
 VirgoGrl
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 52
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:48:24 PM
Yes I would dress sexy and I usually do - why not?
 weird_revolutions
Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 53
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/4/2008 7:57:04 PM
Hell yes I would!
 Robert4u2love
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 54
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/4/2008 11:21:13 PM
Now that I think of it I dated someone on here that was showing all her cleavage in her pics but when she showed up she was covered in layers of clothing and looking quite un-sexy. What was up with that? Throw out the bait but then chicken out? Far too many women on this site are anti-sex kinda makes me wonder why they even bother to try. Face it girls all men are horny dogs and Ive met several women in my time that just couldnt get enough too. Its just how well us men play our cards to get you chickens to calm down about the nervous worries of the horrible thing called SEX...
 GentleCanuck
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 55
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:23:49 AM
OP, some guys make such requests to see if you are a submissive or not.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 56
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:14:43 AM
Robert, wanting to conduct oneself appropriately on a first date or several dates has no relationship to a woman's passion for a man she cares about and with whom she feels a connection. Most women and many men I have encountered prefer to not behave like dogs and for the woman, even when they show tons of cleavage on a profile because apparently they do not believe themselves capable of attracting a man in any other way. You have decent pecs but would be more attractive to many if you would put on a shirt, you know, get to know you a bit first....
 javalover_53
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 57
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:36:46 AM
ravenstar66, before a date and I tell someone how to dress....I like to correct their profile.....



Seriously, if a man starts 'controlling' you, play him for all he has, he deserves it!
 lochlet
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 58
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:57:34 AM
No.. and I would lose a ton of respect for the guy and cancel the date.

- I would assume that someone who is asking me to dress "sexy" for a date is out for a sexual encounter and nothing more
- Why can't someone find you attractive without you having to dress "sexy"?

I have met some really sweet guys who would call me before a date and advise me to dress up or down or wear flat shoes or something depending where we were going.. now that was considerate ;)
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 59
 not2badmoguy
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 60
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:05:43 AM
I did have a woman request that I wear a shirt with cuff links once, it was a second date, I did wear them but never totally understood the request. She may have just been testing to see if I listened? or if I was willing to honor a request? no idea..... not sure if that was sexy or not
 DallasFlier
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 61
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:04:41 AM

Face it girls all men are horny dogs...

Robert, please feel free to speak for YOURSELF, but don't attempt to speak for the rest of us, you just make yourself look stupid. No, many men are quite capable of being gentlemen rather than "horny dogs" no matter what you may claim to the contrary.

With regards to the OP's question, beyond discussing venue and therefore general type of dress, I'd never ever consider telling my date how to dress for a first date. One of the things I'm interested in is to see how she DOES dress, tells me a lot about her sense of style as well as her personality in general. On the other hand, I have to chuckle a bit at all those who are adamantly saying "I'll dress the way I want, I'm not dressing up for any man!" I know when I go out on a first date (or even subsequent ones) I make an effort to dress nicely and look nice for the lady. I'd hope she's making a similar effort herself, if not that tells me something too - and that will likely be the only date.
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 62
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:49:32 AM
This is a hard question because so much depends on how such a conversation transpired, if we'd been teasing each other in some way, etc. But, in the end, I'm too much of a rebel and would probably figure a way to turn the tables on him. Shoot, I love to entertain and I don't take these things too seriously...it's supposed to be fun!

(But I would never go out dressed in a way that makes me uncomfortable.)
 wondering1980
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 63
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:23:12 AM
hell no...i don't wear skirts, dresses, heals or make up and never will for no man...buddy sounds like a horn dog who needs to meet women looking for sex
 countrytat
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 64
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:26:21 AM
FUK NO!... If a man does not like me in what im wearing and what im comfortable in then he is NOT the man for me..... now if i were in a relationship and he wanted me to dress nice once in a while going out ..thats fine... but i typically do not wear dresses, skirts, panty hose or anything like that.... makes me feel restricted and I hate that feeling, in all aspects of my life :)
 dancin diabla
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 65
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:40:01 AM
!!UPDATE ALERT!!!

Ok, after 3 pages of posts, with varying degrees and levels of replies, I think the general consensus seems to be pointing to no, don't bother, tell the guy to get lost. Before I get into that, I think it's only fair to mention that no, I did not meet this guy on POF, but rather another social network that shall remain nameless, but rhymes with "pieface". My profile there is a tad different than the one I have on POF.

Regardless, the other small detail is that when he asked me to dress in something sexy, for a dancing date, he told me he would "make it worth my while". So I told him, "despite whatever impression you may have of me, I'm still a lady, and I require that I be treated like one". He replied, "well, I'm not that easy either, you know, it's just that I like a certain type of woman, and I thought you were that". So I asked him, praytell describe this "certain type of woman". "Well, she possessess a combination of brains, beauty, and sense of adventure", said he, adding "and I felt there was a spark between us, but you had to go an extinguish it!" (Gawd, what a heartless beyotch I am!)

So I told him "thank you for your honesty, and your interest, but it just doesn't look like there's any point in us going through with the date". And his comeback? "No wonder you're still single". Ooh, OUCHEREENEE!! So I shot back with "I'd rather stay single for the rest of my natural life, than to spend it married to a cad like you!"

The End

ps: NEXT!!
 Colin S
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 66
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:58:26 PM
Totally with Robert4u2love when he said,
I usually ask "How are we dressing? Casual or formal or inbetween?". And say no futher.
I'd ask that if i didn't know the venue we were headed for a 'date'...knowing the city i live in, and having google at my fingertips, i probably wouldn't need to ask that normally. If I'd said, "dress sexy" for the 'first date' I'd be Dr. Moneybags McSugardaddy. Gods, can you imagine the weekly tab at fine local restaurants? Only reason some guy would say that is because he's not dating...he's parading a succession of pretty girls around the town to impress the world.

Just like i'd suspect a serial dater female who wants to show off how attractive she is at her local Starbucks
 elecbabe
Joined: 8/31/2005
Msg: 67
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:10:45 PM
It would make alarm bells ring. If he asks a complete stranger to dress in a certain way, imagine what he would be like if you dated him.....CONTROL FREAK material I'd say!
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 68
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 1:16:01 PM
telling a date how to dress, comes off a bit creepy. unless your going hiking, walking etc. then it may be fitting to tell her to wear shorts and sneakers, however could ask her to bring a change of clothes in case it ends up as a dinner date.
 Nic36
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 69
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:28:41 PM

He replied, "well, I'm not that easy either, you know, it's just that I like a certain type of woman, and I thought you were that". So I asked him, praytell describe this "certain type of woman". "Well, she possessess a combination of brains, beauty, and sense of adventure", said he, adding "and I felt there was a spark between us, but you had to go an extinguish it!" (Gawd, what a heartless beyotch I am!)

So I told him "thank you for your honesty, and your interest, but it just doesn't look like there's any point in us going through with the date". And his comeback? "No wonder you're still single".




So he *was* expecting his Bond girl to show up in a miniskirt and screw him in the hot tub... and thinks he's going to make it worth your while.

James Bond would handle rejection better.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 70
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/5/2008 3:03:00 PM
I usually leave the dressing part up the that lady, and only request specifics if taking a ride on my Harley, or hiking in the mountains.

You dress sexy when you care to, and many times it is not what you wear, but how you wear it that really matters.....

I have seen many women try to wear clothes that they hope will make them look sensual or sexy, but all to many times it just does not enhance them at all.

I have seen many women that can wear jeans or shorts and look awesome, and not even try to look sexy or sensual. It is all a matter of how you carry the clothes you wear, and not as much as the clothes themselves.....

Just my opinion.......
 Robert4u2love
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 71
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/12/2008 12:57:36 PM
[qoute]Robert, please feel free to speak for YOURSELF, but don't attempt to speak for the rest of us, you just make yourself look stupid. No, many men are quite capable of being gentlemen rather than "horny dogs" no matter what you may claim to the contrary.

Dallasflier your just one of these guys that suck up to women. For them you are a mark and have no balls. You probably spend more time online on adult sites rather than being a gentleman. Being a gentleman is good but to deny your sexuality or desire for it is a cop out. The truth is men do want sex and so do women. The problem is women have to deal with all the psycolocical issues pumped into their heads since childhood.
Also they get pregnant, and with that there is responseability. Besides the fact that women feel like sexual objects everytime a man looks at her. Thats a lot of garbage to have to deal with. And I cant blame them for feeling the way they do either. At least I understand these things. My prior statment may have been somewhat crude but brutally honest. Guys are more sexually driven due to our physical needs, women can hold out longer but climb the walls when they ovulate. And often tear those walls down when they do. As for the tread subject. The man requesting a woman to dress sexy may or may not have done it with innocence. Where as the lesson to be learned here is just how brutal and unforgiving women can be for just saying one wrong thing. Thats it just like that your gone. You cant make not even one mistake and say the wrong thing or you are HISTORY. But at the same time the very same women want you to understand that their children come first and you will always be number 2. They also want you to understand that they have had children and those stretch marks are just normal. Not to mention the extra 40lbs they are carring around their waist. But hell just say the wrong word and your a gonner right? What happened to fair play?
Here I go again on another rant. Its no wonder that men fly out of this country to find women who are more willing to play the role of a wife rather than the role of a dictator.
Maybe thats why I see so many women with over 200 people on their friends list. And they are still single. Are they really looking for love or just the next sucker to take them out?
I am a person who knows what it really takes to make a true love relationship work. My problem has been finding somone who is willing to play fair and do their part in the process of keeping love alive. For us men we have to endure a platora of womens psycoligical issues not to mention the fact that many women are looking at men for more than love. No they want it all. The house, the car, the MONEY, the prestige of being with a man who has been a major success in life and is known in the community. Just so they can say "thats my husband".....Its no wonder that every Pastor Ive met has a smoking hot wife. Not to mention the fact that at every level it really all come down to the damm money. If your rich you get a babe, if your poor you get broom Hilda. Are women really that shallow?
OK I feel better now....I vented my frustrations with THE WAY IT IS. Sure the way it is is this.....Men do want sex...women want money....women want you to spend all your so the can save all theirs! And in the end its all sexual discrimination simply because of gender. Men pay and women are on the receiving end of eevrything and picky ass hell too. Unless you leave the good old USA and go where there is poverty and then an older guy like me can easily marry someone 20 years younger. And why? Go back to the money part again. Its demographics and finance. Face it if I were to paste a $1000 bill to my forehead I can easily do 90% of the housewives on my block! Yet the question still stands "How many of them would be worth it?"
 ejesq
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 72
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:27:24 PM
No man tells me how to dress. That said, if there was some specific activity planned, I would wear whatever I felt was appropriate.
 DallasFlier
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 73
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:46:44 PM

robert4u2love:
Dallasflier your just one of these guys that suck up to women. For them you are a mark and have no balls. You probably spend more time online on adult sites rather than being a gentleman. Being a gentleman is good but to deny your sexuality or desire for it is a cop out.

Robert:

a) you need to learn how to use the quote feature here - its really not that difficult

b) you apparently spend MORE time on these sites than I do, as I'm not going to take the time to post almost half a page of claptrap.

c) you're not very good at reading for comprehension - I never said or implied that I deny my sexuality. Its only the very immature men who believe that being a gentleman is inconsistent with being sexual.

d) based on that last post, you're an amazingly bitter and angry man - not going to get many dates when you're angry at her before you ever meet her, just because she's female and therefore apparently "the enemy"

e) I repeat what I said before - please feel free to speak for yourself, but quit making a fool of yourself trying to speak for everyone else.
 Robert4u2love
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 74
Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/15/2008 3:10:55 PM
Dallas, Im not bitter or angry just a little tired of the way women often treat men. You have your opinion and I have mine. Ive dated women who more often than not tell me how every guy they go out with wants to get laid on the first date. So I hear them. I guess these guys are not horny dogs maybe just sexually motivated huh? But if you take the time to read what I had to say, how much of the valid points could you disagree with? Im not on here to be confrontational or to get into a pissing match. So lets just leave it alone. Peace be with you. Every person has his or her style. I just wish things were not so difficult and complicated. Seems the older we get the more complicated things get. But really if you anylize the complications, it will usually come back to the same old problem.....money. Thats is usually where a womans head is at 90% of the time. The obsession with the bills, the bank account, spending etc. 20 trips to the house thermostat etc. Ive seen it all.
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 75
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Ladies, if he asked you to dress sexy on the 1st date, would you?
Posted: 6/15/2008 4:31:35 PM
The only appropriate time for him to tell me how to dress is if there's a dress code where we're going, or something similar. "It's a costume party. I thought we could coordinate our costumes." or "Will you be my date at my brother's awards banquet? It's black-tie so you'd need to dress up." or "It's a hay ride. Jeans and a causual shirt." But "Dress sexy"? Bring your inflatable date, buddy!
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