| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:55:23 PM | IMO...
If you "wait" for Mr or Ms. Right, you will wait forever.....
If you "try" to find someone, most of the time the opposite will happen...
I never go out either socializing or going to a POF event with the idea of leaving the event "coming home empty handed"
We are not 19 and this isn't the 70's
I go out to meet my friends and enjoy myself and it is amazing what can happen when you take that attitude and are not on the hunt. People will gravitate to you because they see that you are a fun, grounded person who doesn't need to be attached to another to enjoy themselves.... | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:05:34 PM | ^^^ Mountain Lion:
For me Date = going out someplace together with the aim of having a good time... talking, dancing, walking, whatever. It is companionship with a beginning and an end that happens in the same day.
More than that is ... well more than a date. Doing more than dating isn't necessarily more meaningful than dating -- but there are different words to use. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:38:34 PM |
when you take that attitude and are not on the hunt.
Have to slightly disagree. When you show up at an "event" the first thing you do is check out the 6,8,10 people sitting at the table to see if there's anything there. You sit down, but then you're busy checking to see who else is in the hen house. At some point, you decide there's nobody qualified and you get to sit back and have a good time. Or......you see someone that turns your crank and you ratchet it up. Call me a liar, but everybody's checking it out when they're single. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:56:01 PM |
What a bunch of crap.
I never waited. I was perfectly happy being single, and preferred it that way. Then fate (evil) intervened, and I was yanked out of my comfort zone. Being in a relationship turned me into a GIRL.
*gag*
*waits anxiously for her balls to grow back*
YES ^^^ BRAVO...love it
I have so been there | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:36:20 PM |
For me Date = going out someplace together with the aim of having a good time... talking, dancing, walking, whatever. It is companionship with a beginning and an end that happens in the same day.
Exactly Bill ^^^ that would be the idea, hopefully to getting to know each other and well, one can even make plans for the next day...
yeah, I know whatcha all thinking... I'm avoiding the "M" word, even the Relationship one...lol why is every one so concerned about it?...LOL
There comes a point in life when time is accelerating past the speed limit and some form of a meaningful partnership can be nicer than being happy by oneself. That part I think is only a starting point, at least a better one than being needy or jaded. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/6/2008 12:27:27 AM | I also don't have a lot of patience when it comes to the dating game as I don't care to put myself out there for every Tom,**** and Harry only to find out it's not going anywhere.
I have come to the conclusion for myself to stop looking all together. I think that sometimes when we want something bad enough we overlook many things, or we are so conscious to the things we aren't looking for that we find flaws in everyone. I think that meeting people casually or as friends is much less stressful because there isn't as many expectations, and if you end up clicking or sparks fly you can step forward from there.
Waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right is only going to be what you make of it. If you spend your time concentrating on being lonely and alone, chances are you will remain there longer. As, self pitty is not attractive. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/6/2008 12:43:29 AM | OP:
I'm not really waiting around for Mr. Right to come along, i'm going out with friends, having a great time and if it happens that I meet someone, great! If not, i'm not going to cry about it. I am trying to stay positive and keep telling myself that I am only 29, I have plenty of time, just enjoy life as it is right now.
I find that if you are looking too hard for someone, it just wont happen. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/6/2008 12:55:49 PM |
veryone. I think that meeting people casually or as friends is much less stressful because there isn't as many expectations
Life's too short. If you meet somebody that turns your crank.....jump on it. Figure it out later. There are only so many fish in the barrel. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:37:30 PM |
Some fishies tell me they have given up making active moves to try to find someone. They are trying to just keep on living a single life (or a single parent with kids life) while doing their best to enjoy themselves as active singles. These folks seem to be getting out and socializing and going to events, etc. But they mostly come home empty handed.
It's no wonder they are coming home empty handed! People are so fussy and picky now-a-days. It seems so many have a 'disposable' attitude when it comes to people and relationships..... if something isn't juuuuust right with that person or the relationship is not going exactly the way they want it to then they call it quits and run off to find someone new - someone or something 'better' than what they had.
Then we have all these personal issues....issues with trust, too much baggage, unacceptable baggage, lies and deception, insincerity, unwillingness to compromise, high expectations, wounded hearts, someone is too good looking, others are not good looking enough, men who don't communicate, women who don't share feelings, bad perceptions, ill intentions, not settling because a person does not have the 'right' job or the 'right' car or the right 'whatever', then it's our judgments and prejudices as to what a 'real' man or woman is or isn't and what a partner should and/or shouldn't do or be .....the list goes on.
There is nothing 'wrong' with having some likes, dislikes, preferences, and requirements. It's just that it seems to me that people have become so nit-picky, so perfectionistic (if this is not a word it is now. lol). A quote I once read comes to mind here......
"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."
I have often heard people refer to being on this site as being like a kid in a candy store. So much to choose from, so many varieties, so many flavors. If you don't like one kind, reach in and grab another!
The problem is not always with the type of candy one chooses ....the problem is often in the indecisiveness as to what one wants, needs, and desires - it lies within the SELF. With our beliefs, prejudices, preferences, biases, expectations, etc. we are preventing and blocking love from being given and love from being found. (not all these factors apply to each and every one here...I am just saying that some of these factors influence or prevent us from getting what we want - whether we realize it or not)
Since joining POF at least half of the men I have met have misrepresented themselves in some way - their lives in general, their job, their appearance, and/or their personality and attitude . I believe that each of us has a certain obligation to present ourselves and disclose personal facts and information exactly as they are so that the other person can assess and consider this information which enables them to make an informed decision as to whether or not we are someone whom they want to spend time with/share their life with. There are many who pretend to be someone they are not and tell people what they think they want to hear just to win that person's affection. But the truth is eventually revealed - the true self always exposed itself in one way or another. Much muss, fuss, and cuss could be saved by honesty and truthful disclosure.
Ya, ya.....enough already. Just adding my 4 cents 
~Missy~ | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/6/2008 10:11:48 PM | Bravo........^^^^^^..........Where's that standing ovation icon??
Not very often something is posted that's this correct and insightfull, nice change. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:40:39 PM |
The problem is not always with the type of candy one chooses ....the problem is often in the indecisiveness as to what one wants, needs, and desires - it lies within the SELF. )
^^^^ You're correct Missy... It shouldn't be a perfect "Ms. Right" that guys are looking for -- but only Ms. Reasonable. Problem is, there are so damn many single people of both genders who aren't all that reasonable.
I'm also not sure it's indecisiveness... If one sees good reasons why a relationship simply will never work long-term... then I think its reasonable and mature to move on.
With our beliefs, prejudices, preferences, biases, expectations, etc. we are preventing and blocking love from being given and love from being found. (not all these factors apply to each and every one here...I am just saying that some of these factors influence or prevent us from getting what we want - whether we realize it or not
NOW THIS I AGREE WITH. It is my feeling that especially if someone has been seriously burned by one or more a$$holes... that it becomes hard to let the guard down enough to give good people a chance... | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:20:10 AM | This planet is moving just TOO fast. I am not dispposable. I am starting to tighten up the reigns for a while. Well, I am not a car or a bike. I do NOT care too much for joyriders. Do you? In this world today I have on more than one occassion watched as someone was made to feel uncomfortable for marching a little outta step or timing and that in my opinion just sinks.
I promise I will think well before I say, "come in" next time. This is the life of "instant gratification. We wanna win the game without having to play it. We want the prize but not the toil to get it.  | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/18/2008 12:20:23 AM | This planet is moving just TOO fast. I am not dispposable. I am starting to tighten up the reigns for a while. Well, I am not a car or a bike. I do NOT care too much for joyriders. Do you? In this world today I have on more than one occassion watched as someone was made to feel uncomfortable for marching a little outta step or timing and that in my opinion just sinks.
I promise I will think well before I say, "come in" next time. This is the life of "instant gratification. We wanna win the game without having to play it. We want the prize but not the toil to get it. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:39:40 AM | I think I can speak with some experience (recent) about this.
I met someone from the pond some time ago. Our initial contact was due to forum postings and a mutual "like" formed from what each other wrote. I believe (and you would have to get confirmation from her) that initially, we just were interested in the other person as just that "a person". Knowing that we shared some views and humour, it was fairly easy for us to communicate. Looks did not come into play as she posted without a pic.
After a fair (8-12 months) amount of time we decided to meet. Like so many from the pond we established that there were numerous differences between us, yet something inside us also established a desire to get to know each other better. We have been "seeing" each other for a while now and we have determined that despite our differences (which can be extreme at times) there are enough mutual interests and a willingness within us to try and see where we might go together.
The point is this. Did or does she fit the bill of what I percieved to be "Mrs. Right"? Hell no, she is almost the exact opposite of what I thought I was looking for. The amazing thing is that because the mold was broken, I couldn't try and put it back together again and dismiss the remains as "un-usable".
Clear your minds of your stereotypes people, you may end up very suprised at the results.
PS,
Doesn't hurt that she is a real looker.....
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:11:05 PM | | Walt, all I can say is right on!! I love it. One piece of advice my sister gave me was never sit and pine over someone. And my favorite quote is 'never allow someone to be your priority when you are merely their option.' | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:55:50 PM |
Clear your minds of your stereotypes people, you may end up very surprised at the results.
Guido your post and what Missy said are so true. I've met many wonderful people fitting what you described though forums, at events and even via mail contact and it opened the thoughts to look at the possibilities perhaps not always on both sides. IMHO that is at least a step in the right direction. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/21/2008 3:01:31 AM | Dating is indeed a test of one's patience, self-esteem, faith, endurance, emotional strength & trust in God's ultimate plan for one's life. I think that's why when we are searching & longing desperately, that connection with someone who is right for us just doesn't happen. I believe that waiting period is all part of a test to strengthen, heal & prepare us (& possibly our kids too) for when that relationship does come along.
When we decide to give up wishing, hoping or searching & just accept & enjoy life with friends & family, that's usually when that special person we've been looking for pretty much falls into our laps ... sometimes quite unexpectedly so & sometimes it's someone we never initially considered as a possible partner. I believe the point at which this happens is when we're finally ready to embark on a healthy relationship, not because of a desperate, clingy need but because we're ready to give our very best to the other person.
You're a sweet person with a good heart & I know that special gal will come along but perhaps the timing isn't quite right yet. In the meantime, perhaps work on getting rid of any baggage that's still lying around, fine-tuning your relationship skills & enjoying your time out with friends, even if it means going home with empty arms. It would appear that life is possibly giving you an opportunity to rebuild your relationship with your daughter (the prodigal child) before throwing a relationship at you. I know it's not the same as having a special woman in your life & I understand loneliness & frustration all too well. Keep your chin up, your prayers going & here's a  at ya! | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:06:10 AM | I am NOT "waiting", I figure my hook is baited, I'm "out there"..
It's just a matter of time before "someone" comes up with the airfare! lol
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:37:45 AM |
*waits anxiously for her balls to grow back*
Ok, then,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Yeah, I am waiting for the right girl to come with a pack of Skittles, but if she gives me a pack of Smarties, its over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/21/2008 2:48:04 PM | ^^^ What about M & M's? Last I heard they melt in your mouth & not in your hands ... but I'm pretty sure there are other places they would melt just as well too.  Could make for an interesting rendezvous indeed. Personally, my guy must be made of Smarties 'cause he melts instantly as soon as I touch any part of him.   | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/22/2008 1:47:00 AM | | The way I see it you try to get as much action with as many good looking chicks as possible while you're waiting for miss right, because after five or so years with her the sex all go's down hill any way and then all you have is memories. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:37:28 AM | ^^^ Takes two to depreciate the sex life in a relationship. Yes, statistics show that sexual activity diminishes over time for most couples, but not necessarily. Mine didn't diminish at all over 15 years of marriage & my last 6 year relationship ... was just as hot & pretty much as frequent at the end as it was at the beginning. I think in a relationship if that were to happen to me, it would either be because I was severely injured or had a serious illness or because the guy didn't want to or couldn't.
Oh, and if I knew a guy was running around trying to get as much as he could with whichever hot chick said 'yes', I would have absolutely no respect for him & therefore wouldn't want a relationship with him. I'd rather be with a guy who was more selective because he respected himself & women ... because that same guy would probably have the balls to say 'Thanks but no thanks 'cause I'm in a relationship' to any hot chick who hit on him. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:18:54 PM | | I mean I am just busy with work and living my life. The way I figure it I ll meet her somewhere. Whether it be at the gym or the internet. You never know | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:03:08 PM | I am at a point in my life where I am very philosophical about it. I don't need a boyfriend/husband to be happy. I am pretty happy and content with my life. I like meeting new people, and being a social butterfly to a certain degree. I would not chase a potential suitor away with a stick (unless they were not my type of course), it would be really nice to meet a guy who turned out to be my Mr. Right. But it won't kill me if I don't, and I am at peace with that.
The funny thing is, years prior when I wasn't as emotionally 'together' as I am today, I had a lot more boyfriends/dates. Now that I am very happy to be the person that I am, mature, I have a lot of wonderful qualities, and am not insecure, I never date at all, haha. Figures. ;)
Maybe men like a little emotional instability in their women, hell if I know. Kiddin', folks. But it does make me chuckle a bit. Ah well. Such is life, wonderful illogical (sometimes crazy!) life. | |
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| Waiting for Ms. Right.
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:49:35 PM | I don't need a guy in my life. I want a guy in my life because I'm huge on sensual touching & caressing, cuddling & snuggling 'cause I'm always touch-deprived & can never get or give enough. I am most content when I'm curled up against a strong man with his arms wrapped tightly around me.  | |
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